Custody Hearing - Scheduled for 10/16

[boxy]

Ok, let's not rehash that old argument... let's start a new one!

Brad was married, and claimed he loved his wife, and was trying to work things out.

Yet, his wife was suddenly murdered, and he never got to say goodbye.

He did not ever publicly express rage at his loss and the woman he loved being taken violently from him by someone else. He never asked the public for their assistance in finding her killer.

And he gave up the chance to say goodbye in the manner in which it is customary to do so. There were several memorials.

Finally, he never arranged for an obituary. If he didn't want to mourn in public for whatever reason, he could have honored the woman he loved with an obituary and said goodbye to her with a loving tribute.

Brad has not acted in any manner as a man who had his wife stolen from him and brutally murdered.

He has acted as a man who was the murderer.

If I had murdered my spouse and wanted to avoid suspicion, I would have written an obit, expressed grieving publicly, and attended every memorial and service. BC's action in this regard tell us about his personality, which I understand many do not find to their liking, but tell nothing about his guilt or innocence.

 

[less0305]

Well, really, he testified to using the time she and the kids were away to catch up at work and work long hours - didn't he say 12-14 hours a day?. Probably ate either takeout or microwave type dinners (guy stereotyping, sorry) - so - really - how dirty should the house have been if it was clean when she left????????? he also said he went to the gym, got home late, etc if I am remembering correctly.

But - in this instance - since he was the only one messing it up - he certainly should have cleaned enough to bring the house back to where it was before she left - and one person for a week, not even at home for much more than sleeping, no kids, no pets - should have taken him less than an hour. But - to me - that's not really cleaning.

My take on the messy house is that he deliberately made a pig sty out of it so that she would have all that cleaning to do upon return - another way of exerting some type of control or abuse over her. Sort of like a spoiled brat who felt punished because she was out of town and he maybe didn't like that too good, so he messes up the house beyond anything typical or normal.

 

[rwesafe]

If I had murdered my spouse and wanted to avoid suspicion, I would have written an obit, expressed grieving publicly, and attended every memorial and service. BC's action in this regard tell us about his personality, which I understand many do not find to their liking, but tell nothing about his guilt or innocence.

:clap:

Why did her family not write an obit?

 

[less0305]

I don't believe the girls are in any danger of being murdered by their father.

Murder/suicide is not out of the question. Particularly if BC were to sense or get word that there might be an arrest about to happen. I can certainly see him possibly taking the children out and then himself to avoid going to prison.

 

[AmarilloByAM]

Hello all - I am new to the board although I have been actively following posts all along. I am originally from North Carolina and lived in and around Cary for many years before moving out of state after I was married. My sister lives 5 miles from NC & BC's house. What is funny is that even though she is so close to things and my parents are in North Carolina I am the one keeping up with the details of the case, reading everything posted on the media websites, etc, so I have been keeping them up to date on the details of the case even though I live halfway across the country now. I go back to visit my family every 2 or 3 months. When I was back in September I had my sister get in the car with me and we drove past NC & BC's house, even saw his car in the drive, rode through Lochmere and then to where NC's body was found. That is my background info...now to yesterday evening...

My sister called me and started talking in a hushed but excited tone. Here was the conversation:

Sister: "I am sitting in the Chik-fil-A at Waverly Place and the man that murdered his wife just walked in."
Me: "What?!?!?!"
Sister: "He must be with his parents."
Me: "Wonder why he didn't just do through the drive-thru?"
Sister: "I made X (my brother-in-law) switch seats with me so I could watch him more closely."
Me: "Is he good looking?"
Sister: "No! He had a big forehead. He looks like Lurch. He looks really haggard. I'll call you back later with more."
Me: "You've made my day."

Later on she called and left me a message (b/c I was on the phone with my Mom telling her about my sister's call.) In her message my sister said, "I didn't realize how big he is. He is really big. My main takeaway is how sad he seemed, just really sad. Seeing him made me feel really sad."

Thanks for letting me share!

 

[rwesafe]

My take on the messy house is that he deliberately made a pig sty out of it so that she would have all that cleaning to do upon return - another way of exerting some type of control or abuse over her. Sort of like a spoiled brat who felt punished because she was out of town and he maybe didn't like that too good, so he messes up the house beyond anything typical or normal.

Or maybe he is just a typical guy who was really work 13 and 14 hours a day and going to the gym like he said....

This was a woman who had an affair the first year of their marriage and was arranging to meet up with and was at very least having some sort of verbal/text based liason with an old BF...does not sound like BC ever had any control of her or her actions or her spending. He is one poor control freak IMO.

 

[boxy]

If this were indeed the case, why was he so anxious for them to go in the beginning.....almost to the point of pushing them out of the house??????

There is CERTAINLY more than one instance of his control tactics.

I'm hoping and praying Judge Sasser sends Nancy's girls back to Canada.....in my heart I TRULY believe this to be Nancy's wish.

Even if this were NC's wish, the children had TWO parents. NC's wish is only part of what would need to be considered if she were still living.

 

[ncsu95]

Oh well, as long as he doesn't murder them.

Seriously, we are worried about more subtle forms of abuse and the potential long-lasting effect on the girls lives. I hope that the Judge errs on the side of caution.

NCSU, I do believe that there is uncertainty, as you do. We just have different ideas about how things should proceed until there is more certainty. That is the basis of our disagreement.

Right. I believe that you can't take away parental rights due to uncertainty.

I actually do have strong feelings on this because of a situation with my sister, her husband, and my niece. My sister died from brain tumors 7 years ago at age 32. My niece was 8 years old at the time. My sister first had a tumor nearly 2 years earlier that was removed by surgery. A year after the surgery, her husband and my niece left the house, which immediately caught on fire with my sister still in the house. My step-dad is a lifelong fireman and the story that my sisters husband gave didn't make sense. He claimed the fire started due to a Christmas tree (this was new years eve, 2000). His story didn't make sense. Unfortunately, LE didn't do anything and no real arson investigation occurred. I will go to my grave believing he set that fire. They had a very rocky relationship and he is an absolute deadbeat. During 2001, the tumors returned. He did many things that year to prevent her from seeking real treatment. We had it lined up for her scans, etc. to go to Dr. Friedman at Duke (the ones who operated on Kennedy....probably top specialist in the world). He blocked that from happening. I believe he wanted her to die. She finally did in October of that year. Given that, and much history that I haven't shared, he got custody of my niece. And I agree with it. He's worthless, doesn't work, and I believe tried to murder my sister. But he wasn't charged with anything, so he deserves custody of my niece. She is now 15...and she knows that she has alternatives if she ever wants them. But she will gripe about him and defend him at the same time. I can't stand him and haven't spoken to him since my sisters death. I will never speak to him again. But he is my niece's dad no matter how much I wish he wasn't. I think he is doing a horrible job raising her too....but all we can do (and have done), is to make sure CPS is involved and looking after her welfare.

But as a dad, I can't imagine my parental rights being decided based on speculation.

 

[less0305]

Or maybe he is just a typical guy who was really work 13 and 14 hours a day and going to the gym like he said....

This was a woman who had an affair the first year of their marriage and was arranging to meet up with and was at very least having some sort of verbal/text based liason with an old BF...does not sound like BC ever had any control of her or her actions or her spending. He is one poor control freak IMO.

IMO he controlled her to death. JMO.

 

[ncsu95]

If I had murdered my spouse and wanted to avoid suspicion, I would have written an obit, expressed grieving publicly, and attended every memorial and service. BC's action in this regard tell us about his personality, which I understand many do not find to their liking, but tell nothing about his guilt or innocence.

Jason Young and OJ both attended the funerals.

 

[jmflu]

I suppose if pushed far enough anyone could go over the edge. A jealous wife, a jealous lover...anyone...

I would suspect that if he is as narcissitic and arrogant and the ego manic that he said to be, he would have snapped when he found out NC had an affair the first year of their marriage...but, clearly, he didn't....

He might have found out for the first time in court yesterday.

 

[garner_nc]

Right. I believe that you can't take away parental rights due to uncertainty.

I actually do have strong feelings on this because of a situation with my sister, her husband, and my niece. My sister died from brain tumors 7 years ago at age 32. My niece was 8 years old at the time. My sister first had a tumor nearly 2 years earlier that was removed by surgery. A year after the surgery, her husband and my niece left the house, which immediately caught on fire with my sister still in the house. My step-dad is a lifelong fireman and the story that my sisters husband gave didn't make sense. He claimed the fire started due to a Christmas tree (this was new years eve, 2000). His story didn't make sense. Unfortunately, LE didn't do anything and no real arson investigation occurred. I will go to my grave believing he set that fire. They had a very rocky relationship and he is an absolute deadbeat. During 2001, the tumors returned. He did many things that year to prevent her from seeking real treatment. We had it lined up for her scans, etc. to go to Dr. Friedman at Duke (the ones who operated on Kennedy....probably top specialist in the world). He blocked that from happening. I believe he wanted her to die. She finally did in October of that year. Given that, and much history that I haven't shared, he got custody of my niece. And I agree with it. He's worthless, doesn't work, and I believe tried to murder my sister. But he wasn't charged with anything, so he deserves custody of my niece. She is now 15...and she knows that she has alternatives if she ever wants them. But she will gripe about him and defend him at the same time. I can't stand him and haven't spoken to him since my sisters death. I will never speak to him again. But he is my niece's dad no matter how much I wish he wasn't. I think he is doing a horrible job raising her too....but all we can do (and have done), is to make sure CPS is involved and looking after her welfare.

But as a dad, I can't imagine my parental rights being decided based on speculation.

NCSU - Sorry for your loss...Your niece is fortunate to have someone like you looking out for her.

 

[jmflu]

I've been wondering about this too... exactly how do we know they aren't in current danger with the in-laws??

Some may say that it would be preposterous to think so... as the in-laws haven't been charged with a crime, nor have they been named persons-of-interest, nor has anyone testified that they have observed them be unfit guardians..., or acted violently towards the girls, and they obviously love them and would keep their best interests at heart... so surely, the girls are safe with the in-laws, right?

But wait... hmmm... come to think about it, all of the above statements can be made about BC as well! Wow!

Why not err on the side of caution, and give the girls back to their biological father until this mess is sorted out?

I maintain that the only way to err on the side of caution is to keep the girls where they are.

 

[raisincharlie]

He might have found out for the first time in court yesterday.

That is an interesting point jmflu. From watching Brad's deposition I learned that according to Brad - he never told SH about the "indiscretion" with SH's former wife HM - until about a month before the deposition. Brad didn't fess up to that to Nancy for quite some time either - what 3 years ? Seems lots of things went unsaid all around. I now wonder why SH has removed his comments about Nancy from his blog and we know he didn't testify yesterday on Brad's behalf. I don't know why the big deal about affairs - seems to me they were so long ago, the chances of those being motive are very remote. Reason for separation definitely but murder, naw.

 

[Anderson]

Right. I believe that you can't take away parental rights due to uncertainty.

I actually do have strong feelings on this because of a situation with my sister, her husband, and my niece. My sister died from brain tumors 7 years ago at age 32. My niece was 8 years old at the time. My sister first had a tumor nearly 2 years earlier that was removed by surgery. A year after the surgery, her husband and my niece left the house, which immediately caught on fire with my sister still in the house. My step-dad is a lifelong fireman and the story that my sisters husband gave didn't make sense. He claimed the fire started due to a Christmas tree (this was new years eve, 2000). His story didn't make sense. Unfortunately, LE didn't do anything and no real arson investigation occurred. I will go to my grave believing he set that fire. They had a very rocky relationship and he is an absolute deadbeat. During 2001, the tumors returned. He did many things that year to prevent her from seeking real treatment. We had it lined up for her scans, etc. to go to Dr. Friedman at Duke (the ones who operated on Kennedy....probably top specialist in the world). He blocked that from happening. I believe he wanted her to die. She finally did in October of that year. Given that, and much history that I haven't shared, he got custody of my niece. And I agree with it. He's worthless, doesn't work, and I believe tried to murder my sister. But he wasn't charged with anything, so he deserves custody of my niece. She is now 15...and she knows that she has alternatives if she ever wants them. But she will gripe about him and defend him at the same time. I can't stand him and haven't spoken to him since my sisters death. I will never speak to him again. But he is my niece's dad no matter how much I wish he wasn't. I think he is doing a horrible job raising her too....but all we can do (and have done), is to make sure CPS is involved and looking after her welfare.

But as a dad, I can't imagine my parental rights being decided based on speculation.

A. I am deeply sorry to hear about the terrible situation your sister was in and your tragic loss.
B. I can see now how deeply committed to your postion you are. I do respect you for that.
C. I personally wish that you were raising your niece, especially given how you feel about the "horrible job" that her father has done raising her.

 

[RKAB]

Some may say that it would be preposterous to think so... as the in-laws haven't been charged with a crime, nor have they been named persons-of-interest, nor has anyone testified that they have observed them be unfit guardians..., or acted violently towards the girls, and they obviously love them and would keep their best interests at heart... so surely, the girls are safe with the in-laws, right?

But wait... hmmm... come to think about it, all of the above statements can be made about BC as well! Wow!

Why not err on the side of caution, and give the girls back to their biological father until this mess is sorted out?

The in-laws are not being looked at as suspects/persons of interest or whatever term that needs to be used. Although Brad has not been named anything, the investigation has focused on him, they've taken evidence from his house, his work and the like...it's very evident that Brad is the POI. They just aren't announcing it officially. The in-laws weren't even in town when Nancy went missing so clearly, they're not ever going to be suspected in her murder. So these two things can't be compared.

Children's Services advocates for the safety of children. The safest place for the children is somewhere outside of a suspect's home whether it be in foster care or in the care of relatives. They are lucky that they have relatives that could take the kids in, the state could have just as easily have petitioned for guardianship and placed the kids in foster care. In working for the social services/childrens services department here in Alberta, Mr. Rentz knew what to do and what was needed to ensure that the kids remained safe. Do I agree with how it all went down? Not really, I think it could have been handled different but in domestic situations, you never know how the other party will react.

For everyone who says Brad should have the kids back until charges are brought forward, how would you feel if he snapped and something happened to those kids? No one had witnessed violence from him towards Nancy but now she's deceased and he's the prime suspect. To me, without any prior knowledge, that gives enough pause to say that maybe he's capable of violence if pushed too far.

The kids safety should always come first and his parental rights come second. Until they can prove that he's not involved in Nancy's murder, those kids should be in a calm, stable, safe environment which they currently are with her family.

 

[rwesafe]

Jason Young and OJ both attended the funerals.

And their children are still alive....

 

[RKAB]

I actually do have strong feelings on this because of a situation with my sister, her husband, and my niece. My sister died from brain tumors 7 years ago at age 32. My niece was 8 years old at the time. My sister first had a tumor nearly 2 years earlier that was removed by surgery. A year after the surgery, her husband and my niece left the house, which immediately caught on fire with my sister still in the house. My step-dad is a lifelong fireman and the story that my sisters husband gave didn't make sense. He claimed the fire started due to a Christmas tree (this was new years eve, 2000). His story didn't make sense. Unfortunately, LE didn't do anything and no real arson investigation occurred. I will go to my grave believing he set that fire. They had a very rocky relationship and he is an absolute deadbeat. During 2001, the tumors returned. He did many things that year to prevent her from seeking real treatment. We had it lined up for her scans, etc. to go to Dr. Friedman at Duke (the ones who operated on Kennedy....probably top specialist in the world). He blocked that from happening. I believe he wanted her to die. She finally did in October of that year. Given that, and much history that I haven't shared, he got custody of my niece. And I agree with it. He's worthless, doesn't work, and I believe tried to murder my sister. But he wasn't charged with anything, so he deserves custody of my niece. She is now 15...and she knows that she has alternatives if she ever wants them. But she will gripe about him and defend him at the same time. I can't stand him and haven't spoken to him since my sisters death. I will never speak to him again. But he is my niece's dad no matter how much I wish he wasn't. I think he is doing a horrible job raising her too....but all we can do (and have done), is to make sure CPS is involved and looking after her welfare.

Wow, what a horrible thing for your family to have to go through. My sympathy to you.

Perhaps this makes you a bigger person than me(and I'm not being sarcastic or anything, I really mean it). For myself personally, I just can't get past placing a child with someone that is conceivably a suspect of a violent crime, particularly a crime that has resulted in someone's death. But I have never been in the situation, maybe it is different then, I don't know, but from the outside looking in, I would fight it the same way Nancy's family is.

 

[rwesafe]

He might have found out for the first time in court yesterday.

Not true...as you will recall he was berated on this very forum for having stated that NC had had an affair in his affi...

 

[RKAB]

And their children are still alive....

But from what I've read, OJ's kids haven't come through it without a great deal of scars. It hasn't been a great life for them.