Fencesitters & Not Guilty Post Here

[narlacat]

I agree diary's contain our private thoughts.
It would be outragious of the Portugese police if they have actually leaked some of her diary. Though par for the course!!!
If the quotes are "true"......as leaks up to now have been embellished and later played down....Nobody's life is perfect.
You can also take something out of context and make it sound bad!!!
I doubt its all positive, whose diary would be!!! It sounds more normal than not that she would think her husband didn't help her as much as she would have wished. Makes them both sound normal in fact!!!

Having three young children so close in age I think most mums would feel occasionally frazzled and be grateful for her families help.
Again sounds perfectly normal to me.

Maybe some people here are superwomen.
Well not me, I'm sure I would be only to grateful of the occasional help if I had twins and a toddler.

lol- ain't that the truth

I've heard posters hear commenting on Maddie allegedly yelling out for Daddy- and wow, have they had a field day with that! - but in reality there are some great Dads out there who their kids will turn to for comfort just as much they would their Mum.

 

[CaliKid]

lol- ain't that the truth

I've heard posters hear commenting on Maddie allegedly yelling out for Daddy- and wow, have they had a field day with that! - but in reality there are some great Dads out there who their kids will turn to for comfort just as much they would their Mum.

My kids did. I was the go-to mom during the day, but at night when a child wanted in our bed, they'd walk right past me and wake Dad up. Too bad they didn't extend the same courtesy to me when they were sick and throwing up.

 

[narlacat]

My kids did. I was the go-to mom during the day, but at night when a child wanted in our bed, they'd walk right past me and wake Dad up. Too bad they didn't extend the same courtesy to me when they were sick and throwing up.

Yeah, that bit is usually reserved for Mum- :laugh:

Really, some Dads are just like Mums to their kids (lol) - they do exist.

 

[april4sky]

One of my best friends had three children in 26 months. When she went out somewhere, she always took a friend with her, usually with children the same age as her own so they could play together. Yes, she was grateful for the help with her children, but she also could handle them by herself for the day-to-day stuff.

I wouldn't describe her as a superwoman- far from it. She got tired and frazzled. But she was relatively calm and kind and good-natured towards all of the children. She didn't lose her temper with her toddlers, even though her oldest son was very active and inquisitive.

Not ever, ever?

Were you always with her?

Occasionally losing your temper with your children doesn't nessasarily make someone a bad parent. And it's usually when you are feeling tired, frazzled and very human. Even the most loving parents!!! IMO.
And I don't mean losing your temper to the point of being in any way violent.
And I doubt that Kate said in her diary that she was violent to her children or it would have definately been a headline...in extra large print!!

I think we would be lying if we said we never lost out tempers with our children.

And superwoman is not the word I would use.

 

[Shazza]

Not ever, ever?

Were you always with her?

Occasionally losing your temper with your children doesn't nessasarily make someone a bad parent. And it's usually when you are feeling tired, frazzled and very human. Even the most loving parents!!! IMO.
And I don't mean losing your temper to the point of being in any way violent.
And I doubt that Kate said in her diary that she was violent to her children or it would have definately been a headline...in extra large print!!

I think we would be lying if we said we never lost out tempers with our children.

And superwoman is not the word I would use.

Hi April, I think if Kate did harm her daughter she would not have put it in her diary as it would be very silly to do, even though a diary is private and personal, if you are a suspect in a crime even a diary is not off limits, the police would be able to use anything she writes in a diary as evidence, if they went through the right procedures to obtain the diary.

 

[april4sky]

Hi April, I think if Kate did harm her daughter she would not have put it in her diary as it would be very silly to do, even though a diary is private and personal, if you are a suspect in a crime even a diary is not off limits, the police would be able to use anything she writes in a diary as evidence, if they went through the right procedures to obtain the diary.

Hi Shazza,

Nice to speak to you.

I agree the diary should not be off limits to the police in their investigations. No problem with that at all.

That doesn't give them the right to leak parts of it to the press though. They have a duty to make sure doesn't happen. IMO.
That's outragious, unprofessional, and even against their own secrecy laws.

 

[Shazza]

Hi Shazza,

Nice to speak to you.

I agree the diary should not be off limits to the police in their investigations. No problem with that at all.

That doesn't give them the right to leak parts of it to the press though. They have a duty to make sure doesn't happen. IMO.
That's outragious, unprofessional, and even against their own secrecy laws.

Totally agree with all you said in your post, but Im wondering are they leaking information to the press, as we dont have prove of that, I think maybe the media are just writing whatever they can to sell papers.

 

[BethyC]

KL, I totally agree. There were interviews with family members early on in the case about how Kate needed help with the children for the few days she was home with them every week. One of the grandmothers would come down on a regular basis to assist in their care. She strikes me as a woman who, in order to project a picture of the perfect can-have-it-all lifestyle, wanted children and then didn't know what to do with them.

I would think that after one of your children were abducted, you would appreciate visits from friends and family to help out with the other kids and just being there for support....sort of like when there is a birth or death in the house?

 

[shrinkydink]

lol- ain't that the truth

I've heard posters hear commenting on Maddie allegedly yelling out for Daddy- and wow, have they had a field day with that! - but in reality there are some great Dads out there who their kids will turn to for comfort just as much they would their Mum.

I think a lot of that might be her age, too. My DD was my baby all the way until she was about four & a a few months. Then, one day, she became Daddy's Girl in a BIG way. She'll refuse help, hugs, even chocolate from me if she's in the mood to only spend time with her beloved Papa. She still prefers me if she's sick or hurt, but otherwise, she thinks her father hung the moon. :blowkiss:

As for some parents having the patience of saints and others not, I think it's funny that people even bother with that argument. Some people may well never lose their cool and some do it quite a lot. Acting as if KM should have acted a certain way because some other mother never lost her cool in a similar situation seems pretty pointless. I know I'd be beside myself if I had three children that young & my DH wouldn't lift a finger to help, ever. I'd be in tears right along with the non-sleeping kids, and I consider myself to be a pretty normal, decent person and mom. But I also know I have limits.

My diary is also full of statements that wouldn't be set me up for sainthood, but I say them because I need to let the bad feelings out, and so I can go back and read them, too, to better understand my life. I don't edit it to make sure no one else might find my feelings upsetting, offensive or grounds for calling a grand jury. If my diary was published in a paper today, I'd be suspected of the deaths of anyone who had ever once ticked me off, I am sure.

I sometimes lose patience with my DD even though I adore her, and I only have her to worry about - no other child. But some days I need quiet and I can't get it, not matter what I do. Motherhood is so much more demanding that anyone can ever explain to you, and I find it cruel the way some people mock other mothers with comments of, "it's harder than she thought it would be and she can't handle it." Damn right it's harder than any of us thought it would be! When we're with people we trust & we're being honest, all parents admit it's harder than we thought it would be when we were young & foolish & didn't have little lives depending on us. Some of us handle that stark reality better than others, but we all had to face it.

This is a mother of three children under the age of four, a mother who works part-time, who is writing that her daughter is difficult for her to handle, sometimes hysterical, hyper, etc. A mother whose husband,the father of those children is on his butt by the pool, not helping one bit. She had cause to be upset and I can see why she might have needed to vent in a diary.

Do I think she killed her child, either on purpose or by accident? I have no idea, and I don't think there's nearly enough evidence to prove anything at this point. I do think, as someone else said, it's amazing how many perfect mothers this story has brought out on this board and others, though. You'd think Kate Mccann was the only stressed mother with a useless husband this world has ever seen

Shrinky

 

[april4sky]

Totally agree with all you said in your post, but Im wondering are they leaking information to the press, as we dont have prove of that, I think maybe the media are just writing whatever they can to sell papers.

The Potugese police inspector Sousa "wrong spelling I think" admitted a while ago that the leaks to the Portugese press were coming from the police, he said he regretted it "I don't think so" but couldn't control it.
It's been used by them as a deliberate smear tactic IMO. And they are still doing it.

I don't know if the McCanns killed Madeleine. I hope not, and still don't think so.
I have yet to see or hear any confirmed and damning evidence against them.
The police keep backtracking on the strength of the supposed evidence.

So far they are guilty of leaving their children alone.
The rest is just rumor and inuendo which has had the effect of hindering or even stopping the search for Madeleine.
The police have admitted they don't know if Madeleine is still alive.
Do you think they are, or should still be still searching for her?

 

[april4sky]

. If my diary was published in a paper today, I'd be suspected of the deaths of anyone who had ever once ticked me off, I am sure.

I sometimes lose patience with my DD even though I adore her, and I only have her to worry about - no other child. But some days I need quiet and I can't get it, not matter what I do. Motherhood is so much more demanding that anyone can ever explain to you, and I find it cruel the way some people mock other mothers with comments of, "it's harder than she thought it would be and she can't handle it." Damn right it's harder than any of us thought it would be! When we're with people we trust & we're being honest, all parents admit it's harder than we thought it would be when we were young & foolish & didn't have little lives depending on us. Some of us handle that stark reality better than others, but we all had to face it.

This is a mother of three children under the age of four, a mother who works part-time, who is writing that her daughter is difficult for her to handle, sometimes hysterical, hyper, etc. A mother whose husband,the father of those children is on his butt by the pool, not helping one bit. She had cause to be upset and I can see why she might have needed to vent in a diary.

Do I think she killed her child, either on purpose or by accident? I have no idea, and I don't think there's nearly enough evidence to prove anything at this point. I do think, as someone else said, it's amazing how many perfect mothers this story has brought out on this board and others, though. You'd think Kate Mccann was the only stressed mother with a useless husband this world has ever seen

Shrinky

Great post.:clap:

You said it better than I could and I love the part I highlighted. :laugh:

 

[Jdee]

Totally agree with all you said in your post, but Im wondering are they leaking information to the press, as we dont have prove of that, I think maybe the media are just writing whatever they can to sell papers.

I COMPLETELY AGREE with your statement. Very porfoundly said and I for one will remember that when I read the next huge headlines about the McCann's murdering their child.

 

[christine2448]

Do I think she killed her child, either on purpose or by accident? I have no idea, and I don't think there's nearly enough evidence to prove anything at this point. I do think, as someone else said, it's amazing how many perfect mothers this story has brought out on this board and others, though. You'd think Kate Mccann was the only stressed mother with a useless husband this world has ever seen

Shrinky

:woohoo: well said. IMO.

I lean towards parents/friends involvement, if any reports we hear are accurate, subject to change my mind at the momemt we learn the real evidence... LOL...but, I don't know.


I do know I am not a perfect parent, and parenting is sometimes very difficult. I have 2 boys, 14 and 2 (yeah, what was I thinkin'??) and my best friend has 6 kids, have another friend w/4 one autistic, my neighbor has one, he is autistic.....it's not all misery, but it certianly isn't always a bed of Roses....if you heard some of the conversations WE have...I think this is the wrong tree to climb..I am more interested in what evidence they REALLY have, where the heck is Maddie?? Who is responsible? Could the parents have done this??

Her diary, I'm not too interested.

 

[april4sky]

Sorry if this has already been posted.


DNA pioneer casts doubt on evidence

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/2/story.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10463657

 

[KOOL LOOK]

KL, I totally agree. There were interviews with family members early on in the case about how Kate needed help with the children for the few days she was home with them every week. One of the grandmothers would come down on a regular basis to assist in their care. She strikes me as a woman who, in order to project a picture of the perfect can-have-it-all lifestyle, wanted children and then didn't know what to do with them.

I see this thread has taken a new twist and turn. Very interesting, I like the inputs, brings new things to light. Let's see, now if I can express my thoughts concerning a few posts that caught my eye.


I believe Kate had adequate an support system in the home most would only dream of. All mothers and fathers deserve this type of support, but we know that's not reality, but it is a Blessing to have it. I agree with this post. Pride Pride Pride is a hateful thing. I see plenty of that in this family dynamic. I don't just blame Kate though. I don't understand why she had to have elected fertilization, their health appears fine, but I know that doesn't mean anything concerning their ability to naturally have children. This just goes to show the (I want, I want I want), it's all about me isn't always the best case scenerio, especially when you bring children in this world. Kate and Gerry aren't the only one's guilty of this selfishness, I do have mercy for them. For some reason, nothing to substantiate these thoughts, feel they had the un-natural fertilization trying to have the perfect child. I hope I'm wrong, and I very well could be. As I learn more about them, unfortunately I see an image of character full of pride.

What is written in our diarys is our private thoughts- everyone has days where they are stressed out and not handling things as well as other days.

Hi Narla, thanks for posting. I agree, in a normal non criminal situation of course it should be private, but that's not realistic here. We are dealing with a life that has disappeared under suspicious circumstances under the direct care and charge of her parents. They shouldn't be offended or hesitant to be an open book, their daughter is gone. They proclaim publically to be doing everything within their ability. This diary is relevant. Gerry's computer is relevant, they are officially and legally declared suspects, they should be investigated fully within the proper legal means.

Are you saying the diary is more paramount because of Kate's rights as a private citizen moreso than solving this heinous un-thinkable crime? For we know a crime has been committed, just not how or by whom. We also know several crimes have been solved due to a diary being obtained by law enforcement. We have to either investigate this case or close up and go home. Which is what some has done, right? Thanks for your input.

I've never seen so many perfect parents as I have on this board!

I'm not perfect, but I'm as darn close as they come. My children trained me well. :dance: I am a product of them. My children aren't gone and dead, nor were they ever left alone so I could party, I have more love in my heart for their safety, my fun wasn't more meaningful to me than their safety in a foreign place.

And a BIG AMEN to that narlacat.

I feel we should want to take apart each and every detail of any suspects life if we have a missing child that was under their care goes missing, even if it's the Pope or Mrs. Mommy Susey Homemaker.

Amen to that indeed.

Thank you for the inputs, ya'll are some praying christians, I'm flattered, I'll Amen it too! So be it. We're in agreements, I feel so warm inside. :innocent:

Yes, but being stressed out and not handling things well shouldn't mean a parent has the right to be aggressive towards their children. We've all seen moms like this- screaming at their toddlers in the grocery store, swatting their little behinds because the children are overtired and annoying the mommies. I'm not saying I'm a saint; I've gotten frustrated with my kids too. But I don't go out and sedate them because I'm having a bad day.

Absolutely. We never have the right to loose it on our children. I did it though. But as I continue in my motherhood, I learned how to control it, manage it and over the years I mastered my behavior in that I don't do it anymore. But it took work and desire. We all have bad days. But for the ones that brought it up, we're not talking about a bad day. You know that. That's a way to distract from what is obviously being touched on in these conversations within the posts. No one has a problem with a parent having a bad day per say. We're human.


I don't know why this woman wanted children. She went out of her way to give birth, but it was a lot more work than she bargained for. Even the help family members provided wasn't enough- she was still stressed out by her "hysterical" daughter.

I feel the same way. Why was her daughter hysterical? That's not normal darn it. I want to know, I want to get to the bottom of it.

Are you saying that if someone admits in their diary to a motive for hurting someone it shouldn't be used against them? Incredible!

I feel like my other christian friends here, so here goes Amen Sister!

As it stands, there is no proof the Mc's did.

Source please- for Kate admitting in her diary a motive for hurting her child - I haven't read that.

It does stand that the Mc's is the most likely killers. Their more likely than not. Their moreso than a stranger. Narla, we all know here we haven't been given the contents of Kate's diary, yet! Like Shazza said, she probably didn't write it down if she is the guilty person. But then again, we have seen in other criminal cases where actually the perp has done some pretty dumb, insane things. Expecting society to believe every tither that comes out of their mouths. Remember, Scott Peterson? He was an absolute poster perp.

I agree diary's contain our private thoughts.
It would be outragious of the Portugese police if they have actually leaked some of her diary. Though par for the course!!!
If the quotes are "true"......as leaks up to now have been embellished and later played down....Nobody's life is perfect.
You can also take something out of context and make it sound bad!!!
I doubt its all positive, whose diary would be!!! It sounds more normal than not that she would think her husband didn't help her as much as she would have wished. Makes them both sound normal in fact!!!

I agree sweet April. I don't want to take anything out of context, I'm trying to put it in context. Write the story of the events of Maddy's life. Find out what happened to her. Just like I know all that is here wants. To find little Maddy, thanks for posting, their interesting and we will know one day what happened to her.

Having three young children so close in age I think most mums would feel occasionally frazzled and be grateful for her families help.
Again sounds perfectly normal to me.

Amen!

Maybe some people here are superwomen.
Well not me, I'm sure I would be only to grateful of the occasional help if I had twins and a toddler.

Yes, moms should be referred to as superwomen, and society and children shouldn't ever forget that either. I wear my crown. I earned it.

Not ever, ever?

Were you always with her?

I know mothers who haven't, I'm just not one of them. But I'm as close to perfect as they come, because I have such a great love for them, I trained myself to be the best mother I could be for them. I had my eyeball on the prize, seeing them grow up happy, healthy and loving their mommy.

Occasionally losing your temper with your children doesn't nessasarily make someone a bad parent. And it's usually when you are feeling tired, frazzled and very human. Even the most loving parents!!! IMO.
And I don't mean losing your temper to the point of being in any way violent.
And I doubt that Kate said in her diary that she was violent to her children or it would have definately been a headline...in extra large print!!

I think we would be lying if we said we never lost out tempers with our children.

And superwoman is not the word I would use.

I would!

Great post.:clap:

You said it better than I could and I love the part I highlighted. :laugh:

Mothers should be set on a pedestal. As women, we should uplift one another continuously. Most mothers don't have it like Kate. Some mothers don't even know where their little babes milk will come from tomorrow. Some mothers take beatings in order to protect their children and to provide.
Mothers are the backbone of this world.

 

[Brefie]

I don't know why this woman wanted children. She went out of her way to give birth, but it was a lot more work than she bargained for. Even the help family members provided wasn't enough- she was still stressed out by her "hysterical" daughter.

Are you saying that if someone admits in their diary to a motive for hurting someone it shouldn't be used against them? Incredible!

Can anyone really say that they were FULLY prepared?? Personally, having no children getting a flipping PUPPY was a LOT more than I bargained for.

Narla's post (to me, anyways) was ABSOLUTELY NOT saying if someone admits to motive it shouldn't be used against them. I cannot imagine how you even thought that. What I took it to mean was even if it was CHOCK FULL of how she was stressed out by the kids, but nothing more sinister, i.e. 'I will drug and kill her later', is absolutely NOT proof that she MURDERED her daughter. Can't remember how many times I have thought "I will kill him when he gets home" referring to my hubber, who is still alive and kicking and will absolutely NOT meet his demise at my hands.

If Kate McCann is being nailed to the cross for saying her daughter was 'hysterical', well, get a rope and tree ready for me, too. I'll let you know when I am pregnant, because you can bet your bottom dollar that if I kept a diary, 'hysterical' would be the tame end of the words I would use when I am stressed out. The whole point of a diary is for the thoughts you know you cannot let out during the day. An outlet where you can say whatever you like to get it out and re-group, ready to start fresh the next day.

 

[Brefie]

Mothers should be set on a pedestal. As women, we should uplift one another continuously. Most mothers don't have it like Kate. Some mothers don't even know where their little babes milk will come from tomorrow. Some mothers take beatings in order to protect their children and to provide.
Mothers are the backbone of this world.

All except for Kate McCann, who had 3 three and under? This woman only has to smile while with her twins and she is the worst in the world.

 

[shrinkydink]

Can anyone really say that they were FULLY prepared?? Personally, having no children getting a flipping PUPPY was a LOT more than I bargained for.


If Kate McCann is being nailed to the cross for saying her daughter was 'hysterical', well, get a rope and tree ready for me, too. I'll let you know when I am pregnant, because you can bet your bottom dollar that if I kept a diary, 'hysterical' would be the tame end of the words I would use when I am stressed out. The whole point of a diary is for the thoughts you know you cannot let out during the day. An outlet where you can say whatever you like to get it out and re-group, ready to start fresh the next day.

LOL! I forgot about the dogs. We have two, and they ARE a pain some days!

Seriously, what kills me about this is that I don't know how people can not feel sympathy for stressed mothers, especially after having been one. Its like some people are saying, Well, she got more than she bargained for, and that *proves* what a piece of crap human she is, so crap, she's probably capable of murder.

I suspect the same people would be blaming KM for everything had she hired a nanny and Madeleine had been kidnapped while the nanny napped or was out for a smoke. It's always the mother's fault, either because she didn't take a break and couldn't take the pressure anymore, or because she did allow herself a break & something bad happened while the nanny was supposed to have been watching the child.

I suspect there's a little jealousy there, based on the "she had more help than most" kind of comments. How do we know what help she had? Maybe she had more, maybe less. Maybe Kate suffers depression, or her marriage was falling apart because her husband is such a bloody narcissist and she can't take much more. This idea that just because a woman has the money to hire help, her life is super-easy kind of presupposes she doesn't feel the same pressures all mothers feel. It's nonsense. No matter how much money a woman has, she still is The Mom, and that is something that isn't something that just stops in your head, no matter how many servants you can hire.

Just my opinion.

Shrinky, servant-poor, but looking to hire

 

[KOOL LOOK]

All except for Kate McCann, who had 3 three and under? This woman only has to smile while with her twins and she is the worst in the world.

You know what Brefie, as educated as she was, with all the help and support, money available to her and resources, I don't have empathy for her concerning the children. I do have empathy being she could never have possibly known what it's like to be a parent because no one else or a book can educate you or prepare you until you actually have one. That, I can have mercy for. But admit it, don't be so prideful to the expense of the innocence of your children and their well being.

Smiling with the twins immediately after the disappearance of Maddy, yes, as a mother I do find it hard to swallow. You would have to be one to know Brefie. But I am glad you see the importance of knowing it's a big undertaking for I read your puppy post. It is a responsibility to be in charge of a living breathing thing.

I don't hate Kate at all. Kate needs to get real.

 

[Olivia77]

I haven't had much of a chance to catch up, but last time I was here we were asking for a link where Gerry or his father admitted to sedating the children in an interview. Was that ever located? I would like to read it.

Thanks!