FL - Mom tweets while son drowns

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mayfairlight said:
Cubby, I was replying to other messages with that quote, and to the general attitude of the subject. It was not directed at your post (which I very much agreed with) at all.
I can see this thread might very soon turn into a heated discussion about something I won't agree with and I'll just quietly leave before it does...
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thank you for your reply. The only place I read the words psycho mum here within this thread at WS was a poster refering to herself, not this mother.

I don't disagree this was a tragic accident. Imo, this was an accident that could have been avoided if this mother would not have included 'electronics' which caused her to not only be distracted that she missed noticing an older child left a gate open, but also missed her youngest child getting through the gate and falling into the pool. That, imo, doesn't happen in 2 seconds..... as was mentioned back there somewhere. Having come from a marketing and advertising background, the thread title isn't that offensive to me. (JMO)

The fact that something could happen that quickly, imo, is simply reason to leave the distractions away from the pool, while driving.... etc.

If nothing else, it should cause all of us to rethink those 'conveniences' we are used to having attached to our ear or at our finger tips. Especially as those are things we may not realize can cause us enough of a distraction our childrens safety is affected.

JMO respectfully.

:blowkiss:
 
I actually don't have issue with the prayer request. She wanted prayers and it was a quick way to get a lot of them. I can't say that I would have thought to pick up my phone...I would have wanted to be with my son every second. But I can see that part.

The one I have a problem with is her "million dollar baby" post later. Unplug. Seriously. I get the internet. I run a fairly large website and I know what it's like to become almost like family with some of the people who interact with you regularly. But this does seem inappropriate. The Huffington Post story on this referenced a woman who Twittered about her miscarriage as it was occuring and said something like "Thank God, because it takes so long to have an abortion."

It's one thing to want to post your whole life online. It's another to assume people want to read it. People on Twitter probably knew about this child drowning before some of her family! Did she call the husband first, even? We have no way of knowing now, but to Tweet something so huge has ramifications beyond whether you or I or anyone else would Tweet about a fatal accident involving our CHILD.

I do think it's wrong, in a way that's hard to really explain. I know I wouldn't want to receive a Tweet like that, but I can't speak for anyone else. I also know that I would have shut down right after the death. I had to euthanize my horse a few years ago after a bad colic and I was devastated and numb. I can't even imagine what would happen after something like this.
 
Cubby said:
thank you for your reply. The only place I read the words psycho mum here within this thread at WS was a poster refering to herself, not this mother.

I don't disagree this was a tragic accident. Imo, this was an accident that could have been avoided if this mother would not have included 'electronics' which caused her to not only be distracted that she missed noticing an older child left a gate open, but also missed her youngest child getting through the gate and falling into the pool. That, imo, doesn't happen in 2 seconds..... as was mentioned back there somewhere. Having come from a marketing and advertising background, the thread title isn't that offensive to me. (JMO)

The fact that something could happen that quickly, imo, is simply reason to leave the distractions away from the pool, while driving.... etc.

If nothing else, it should cause all of us to rethink those 'conveniences' we are used to having attached to our ear or at our finger tips. Especially as those are things we may not realize can cause us enough of a distraction our childrens safety is affected.

JMO respectfully.

:blowkiss:
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yep, twas me. my mom wont let me live down to this day not letting my older son have sparklers on the 4th when he was three. sorry. I maybe overprotective but....
 
I will not address the Twitter issue during or after the child's death - I do not know the exact details. Except to say the internet would not be my first reaction if some harm came to my family.

My comments are more about watching children. IMO, if she wasn't Twittering, she would have been doing something else (maybe WebSleuthing). There is not parent on earth that has not let their child out of sight for a minute or two. For example, answering the phone, personal bathroom time, checking on cooking, answering the doorbell, ..... And kids can get into things quick. IMO, you need to child proof the deadly areas better.

In this case, have a child proof lock on the pool gate - JUST LIKE THEY SAY YOU SHOULD. In the days before pool gates, I had a sliding glass door lock on the TOP of the door.

Parents need to be smarter than kids. Nuff' said.
 
About 6 years ago I belonged to a forum that was quite different from this one as it did not really have anything to do with missing children or adults, or even crime. There was this other member who was online in the forum and was continually posting about her children and her posts were maybe 3 minutes apart and continued all day long. She was always speaking of the negative things that were happening in her life and about how her children were always having accidents because they were just accident prone. This went on and on until a poster was banned because they out and out accused the mother of constantly being on the computer and not watching her children. This forum was actually a small support group, and shut down not long after because it got so ugly.

I am from the old school. I believe in watching your children every moment they are outside. If you are reading tweets and tweeting as much as this woman was (yes, I have read the whole story), then you have time for little else. I do not like this womans' actions in this. I think she was wrong and I do not apologize for my thoughts amd opinions on it.

I am a grandmother and do not have small children or even children in the home. That is why I am on WS so much. I enjoy it very much but would not be here right now if I were watching small children. And, of course, being a grandmother, I am much older than almost all of the people who tweet or post with this mother. I think she pretty much lived on the forum and lived for tweeting when she should have been watching her children much more closely!

Just my opinion!
 
another 'mother of the year'...........post that to her tweeter!!!
 
sniperacer said:
Again, a good goal, but as I remember, rather impossible. I was out numbered.
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It's hard to say. I think it's very possible, if not mandatory, to watch your children enough so that something like this doesn't happen. I CAN put off going out to get the mail until my husband gets home. I CAN wait to go out to the storage building to get my wrapping paper. I CAN carry my youngest to the kitchen with me to feed the dog instead of leaving him in the nursery.

Do I always? If they're sitting happily in the living room watching Thomas with all the doors and child gates latched, I'll take that opportunity to go to the laundry room and get the laundry, or run the 25 feet to the mailbox. Maybe something freakish could happen, but it's those little risks you take in the moment when you have multiple children and lots of chores.

However, I think it's very possible to watch them all the time. You just prioritize. This woman tweeted from the chicken coop she was cleaning while her son drowned. It's not like she was flying through the chore so she could get back to her child. She very well could have been reading tweets or starting a new one when it happened, but I'm not going to speculate. I think, despite all her tweeting, she probably thought her older son was watching him. I learned early in life, though, that you can't assume that one person is watching someone/something because it's very likely they're thinking the same about you.

I think this death was an accident borne out of negligence no matter how you look at it. I think the tweeting was inappropriate and maybe indicative of just how plugged in she was to the internet. You can't effectively monitor a two year-old if you're tweeting that much. I try to do most of my posting during naptimes and grandma visits and work, LOL, but if I do try to sneak off some FB time or WS time when I'm home, I do have to remind myself that the kids are my priority and I shouldn't shoo them away so I can post "one more thing." The internet does suck you in something fierce.
 
MomofBoys said:
It's hard to say. I think it's very possible, if not mandatory, to watch your children enough so that something like this doesn't happen. I CAN put off going out to get the mail until my husband gets home. I CAN wait to go out to the storage building to get my wrapping paper. I CAN carry my youngest to the kitchen with me to feed the dog instead of leaving him in the nursery.

Do I always? If they're sitting happily in the living room watching Thomas with all the doors and child gates latched, I'll take that opportunity to go to the laundry room and get the laundry, or run the 25 feet to the mailbox. Maybe something freakish could happen, but it's those little risks you take in the moment when you have multiple children and lots of chores.

However, I think it's very possible to watch them all the time. You just prioritize. This woman tweeted from the chicken coop she was cleaning while her son drowned. It's not like she was flying through the chore so she could get back to her child. She very well could have been reading tweets or starting a new one when it happened, but I'm not going to speculate. I think, despite all her tweeting, she probably thought her older son was watching him. I learned early in life, though, that you can't assume that one person is watching someone/something because it's very likely they're thinking the same about you.

I think this death was an accident borne out of negligence no matter how you look at it. I think the tweeting was inappropriate and maybe indicative of just how plugged in she was to the internet. You can't effectively monitor a two year-old if you're tweeting that much. I try to do most of my posting during naptimes and grandma visits and work, LOL, but if I do try to sneak off some FB time or WS time when I'm home, I do have to remind myself that the kids are my priority and I shouldn't shoo them away so I can post "one more thing." The internet does suck you in something fierce.
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While I certainly respect a difference of views on the case, I have to agree with you. I am a bit surprised by the defense of this woman. The pool was a luxury item. That wasn't a necessity. What was the point of the fence if a toddler can make it through? You can't watch them every minute, and that's why I would have drained that pool until they were old enough to know that it was dangerous if I didn't have a solid lock on that fence. The price is too high. You don't get a second chance with your child's life.

That said, babies do learn to swim. One of my friends started her boy as an infant. There are classes for mommy and baby.
 
Cubby said:
.........where did I say she caused her childs death?....
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Cubby, when you posted this in post #14, it certainly sounded to me like you were saying she caused her son's death:

"I still stand by my first post this mother spends too much time on the net, and sadly, it cost her son his life.

just saying......."
 
MomofBoys, what an excellent post! Sounds as if you are a very good mother. The boys are lucky to have you!
 
Cubby said:
My bold. My point exactly. distraction, when small children are around pools. The electronics should have never been outside with mom while her young children were near a pool.
I wonder how long the gate had been opened that mom didn't notice it.

jmo
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BBM: I agree with you, Cubby.

I am also wondering how long the gate had been open!
 
There but for the grace of God, IMHO. There's no indication to me that this women wasn't a good mother. I think when a child dies by accident, we want to blame the caretaker on some level because this makes us feel safer - like it could never happen to us because we would have done things differently. It's a psychological defense mechanism and not necessarily rooted in the "facts" of any particular incident.

However, I think it is cruel to say that out loud to a person in crisis, which is what happened with the whole Twitter thing.

My continued prayers for this mother and her family and I hope she is not reading any of the junk people are posting about her. I have often thought to myself that if some terrible accident happened to my child and made the news, I would never in a million years follow it on the internet because I know a bunch of strangers with limited information would blame me for it. No one needs to read that when they are already in a painfully vulnerable state.
 
prayers for the lady and her family so tragic and sad ... i think mabey she tweets because people answer back and it makes her feel not so socially alone mabey ... sometimes the internet is the only friend you have ... im sure she was a careful mom things do happen, she couldve been doing alot worse things like not being home or doing drugs ..so all im gonna do is pray for her that she can find some comfort somehow .. i can only imagine her grief and heartbreak ..how terrible she must feel.. however tho if my kiera were outside no way would i be on a computer .. its one thing if your in a baby proof house with your child but .. outside i dont go for that ..
 
I'm not sure this is allowed ... hope so ... but if not, mods please feel free to remove.

This is what the mom wrote:

Media outlets: Please leave us alone, stop trespassing onto our property. Yes this includes the private drive you have to turn down to get of our home. Stop calling me my family and friends for comments. WE ARENT GIVING ANY, PERIOD, END OF STORY FOR YOU. Stop posting my information, photos of my home and address.


Those who do not know me, us our family: Find a hobby, get a job, get a clue please. You do not know me us or him. You do not have the right to speak or type his name. He was better than you in every way. Stop slandering my name, stop disrespecting my son and husband with your pitiful pathetic mouths.


There have been NO interviews granted by myself, my husband or my family. There will be no interviews granted, period end of story. So for those who have “covered” this tragedy without learning the facts, and who have miss spoken and have not gotten it right, gee thanks. If it were not for you I could mourn in peace. Let’s try this why don’t we, leave me alone, find your next victim and let my sons memory be one of good and peace and strength.
LEAVE US ALONE

​
Posted from here: http://blog4mom.com/
 
This just shows that pool gates and fences are not enough. Every parent (and grandparent) who has a pool needs to be aware that pool gate alarms are available. This alarm sounds when the gate is not shut properly. Just trying to get the word out...
 
Tweeting aside, in the 21+ years that I lived in Florida children's deaths from drowning in their home pools were an all too common occurrence. I do understand the poster who clarified that the mother tweeted to ask for prayers and the need she felt to reach out for support. We put in a pool when my two daughters were 7 and 10, and even though they were both on a swim team I was a nervous wreck with worry. I would like to relate this story about my oldest daughter. When she was a little over three I took her to a swimming survival course for small children. The last lessons focused on teaching the child to float on their back to get to the side of the pool, while fully clothed. The rationale was that this is most likely the scenario when a child accidentally falls into a pool. Our neighbors had just put in a pool, and it was late November, so it was rather cool. We all went over to the house to see the pool, and began to talk. Suddenly I hear a little voice asking "Would someone get me out of here?" My daughter had fallen in and was holding on to the edge, waiting for an adult to get her out. Anyone who has a pool or especially anyone who lives in states where pools are abundant should look into such a course for their little ones. To this day I doubt she would be here if not for the conditioning ( ala Pavlov's dogs) she received in that course. And because of that incident in my own life I do know just how quickly attention can be diverted from a child with tragic results. May he rest in peace, and God grant peace to that grieving mother.
 
aprilshowers said:
I'm not sure this is allowed ... hope so ... but if not, mods please feel free to remove.

This is what the mom wrote:

Media outlets: Please leave us alone, stop trespassing onto our property. Yes this includes the private drive you have to turn down to get of our home. Stop calling me my family and friends for comments. WE ARENT GIVING ANY, PERIOD, END OF STORY FOR YOU. Stop posting my information, photos of my home and address.


Those who do not know me, us our family: Find a hobby, get a job, get a clue please. You do not know me us or him. You do not have the right to speak or type his name. He was better than you in every way. Stop slandering my name, stop disrespecting my son and husband with your pitiful pathetic mouths.


There have been NO interviews granted by myself, my husband or my family. There will be no interviews granted, period end of story. So for those who have “covered” this tragedy without learning the facts, and who have miss spoken and have not gotten it right, gee thanks. If it were not for you I could mourn in peace. Let’s try this why don’t we, leave me alone, find your next victim and let my sons memory be one of good and peace and strength.
LEAVE US ALONE

​
Posted from here: http://blog4mom.com/
Click to expand...

Good for her.
 
I also wish that all parents that know their child will be exposed to swimming pools (and/or hot tubs) would get their children in swimming lessons. It's really never too early, believe it or not.

My daughter learned to swim as a baby, with a certified swimming instructor. They train the baby/child to flip onto her back and float, if she ever becomes too tired to swim (like after falling/slipping into a pool accidentally, or being left unattended in a pool for whatever reason- which should NEVER happen, of course).

There are so many safety precautions parents and grandparents should look into FIRST, prior to allowing children anywhere near a swimming pool. But, nothing compares to close supervision to begin with.
 
aprilshowers said:
I'm not sure this is allowed ... hope so ... but if not, mods please feel free to remove.

This is what the mom wrote:

Media outlets: Please leave us alone, stop trespassing onto our property. Yes this includes the private drive you have to turn down to get of our home. Stop calling me my family and friends for comments. WE ARENT GIVING ANY, PERIOD, END OF STORY FOR YOU. Stop posting my information, photos of my home and address.


Those who do not know me, us our family: Find a hobby, get a job, get a clue please. You do not know me us or him. You do not have the right to speak or type his name. He was better than you in every way. Stop slandering my name, stop disrespecting my son and husband with your pitiful pathetic mouths.


There have been NO interviews granted by myself, my husband or my family. There will be no interviews granted, period end of story. So for those who have “covered” this tragedy without learning the facts, and who have miss spoken and have not gotten it right, gee thanks. If it were not for you I could mourn in peace. Let’s try this why don’t we, leave me alone, find your next victim and let my sons memory be one of good and peace and strength.
LEAVE US ALONE

​
Posted from here: http://blog4mom.com/
Click to expand...

This says it all. She's found time to spend on the internet! She interrupted the mourning? She should take her own advice to get a clue.
 
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