FL - Mom tweets while son drowns

[Kateyes]

I just wanted to say that the swim lessons that my child(ren) had were survival lessons done at a very early age. In fact, the oldest one went at a later age than the younger one. During the lesson many children, toddlers cry and scream, and some people think that it is cruel to put them through that. But, as an RN and a mother I firmly believe that it is a much better alternative than the child not knowing what to do if they accidentally fell into a pool.

The survival lessons operate on the principle as operant conditioning, and are not meant to be for fun, but for the chld to learn certain necessary survival skills. I also wanted to clarify that when my older daughter fell into the pool at my neighbors house we were all around the pool at a distance less than 10 feet away. Yet, no one actually saw her fall in. It is only too easy for a moment's distraction to result in tragedy.

 

[smart blonde]

Also, not all babies cry and scream while learning to float and swim. My daughter is now 24 years old, but when she was given her lessons, she would flip around and smile and laugh- she was having a great time. She was a little human tadpole.

But, I remember the instructor telling us it was actually preferable for a baby to scream when they flipped over, because you want to be able to hear their cries of distress, so that you become more quickly aware that they need help.

My daughter is still quite the oddball, even to this day! (But, you know I love her)!

 

[Disguiseduser0308]

I just wanted to say that the swim lessons that my child(ren) had were survival lessons done at a very early age. In fact, the oldest one went at a later age than the younger one. During the lesson many children, toddlers cry and scream, and some people think that it is cruel to put them through that. But, as an RN and a mother I firmly believe that it is a much better alternative than the child not knowing what to do if they accidentally fell into a pool.

The survival lessons operate on the principle as operant conditioning, and are not meant to be for fun, but for the chld to learn certain necessary survival skills. I also wanted to clarify that when my older daughter fell into the pool at my neighbors house we were all around the pool at a distance less than 10 feet away. Yet, no one actually saw her fall in. It is only too easy for a moment's distraction to result in tragedy.

I'll admit, the video was a bit difficult to watch. As parents we're supposed to panic and react to that kind of a scene. I don't see it as a cruel at all. I think the method it shows is a great way to condition the panic response to promote survival. Very much like self defense classes. If you know how to respond it can save your life.

I would definitely take these kinds of lessons for my children if we had a pool. I much rather them learn to handle the water with me watching than having a horrible accident when my back is turned.

 

[Melanie]

Well, it made CNN today: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2009/12/19/trenkmann.fl.mom.tweet.cnn

A Florida mom is under scrutiny for posting a tweet shortly after her son drowned. WKMG reports.

Interesting introspect about the internet world.

Mel

ps: 12:44 and my son is sound asleep in bed (in response to Soccermom's comment)

 

[oh_gal]

I haven't read all the posts, so forgive me if mine is totally off base here.
There seems to be a lot of disdain for this woman who (from what little I read) asked for prayers (via a Tweet, or whatever it's called) for her son (before he passed away).

The fact that she used Twitter, to me, is just a sign of the times. Would we be less hostile, I wonder, if she'd called her church's prayer line from a pay phone in the hospital, to make the same prayer request?

(ETA: I've gone back to read some of the earlier posts. Apparently, this lady spent a lot of time on Twitter. I think that fact has come out since the original story, which is what I was commenting on -- that some were incredulous that she would tweet while her son was dying. FWIW, I'm thinking that while he was being worked on in a seperate room that she was not allowed to be in, she found herself sitting alone (probably) and coped the best way she knew how. As to how she spent her time, and did it or did it not contribute to the accident that caused his death, that's a different matter entirely, and not the subject of my post.)

 

[LCoastMom]

I checked in on http://blog4mom.com/ tonight, I had found her early blogging odd when she lost her toddler - and was also taken aback by the Million Dollar baby comment. I agree with most of the comments here, the loss was tragic and preventable - but I'm a psycho mom too, who just can't leave the kids alone for a minute.

That doesn't mean this woman should have been vilified. Her mistake caused her an unbearable loss and she has to live with that.

So anyway shortly after losing little 2 year old Bryce, Shellie was back to the fertility docs and is due to give birth in January 2011.

ONE, yep we are expecting one baby 2 be! So this is the first of many more ultra sounds to come, and to be shared. Thanks for joining us on this journey.

No mention if she still tweets.

 

[Melanie]

Yup, she still tweets:

Ross has a presence online, with a blog called "Blog4Mom" and a Twitter account, Military_Mom, with over 5,000 followers

Matter of fact - 5 hours ago.

ok family just came in from soccer, time to catch up and relax. emails and tweets again tomorrow

linky:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/17/shellie-ross-moms-tweets_n_395833.html

To refresh memory, this is from ABC News:

Thursday, December 17, 2009Shellie Ross Continues To Twitter After Death Of Son
ABC News reports that Shellie Ross was tweeting about the fog rolling in and her chickens going back to the coop while 911 was called by her middle son @ 5:23 to report that his 2 year old brother was floating in the pool. Ambulance arrives at 5:38 to find child in cardiac arrest. At 6:12 pm Shellie tweeted and asked for prayers for her son. She had been tweeting from 8:37 in the morning, right on thru while her son fell into the pool, and continued to tweet even after his death - which I find ironic because maybe if she wasn't tweeting, her son might still be alive.

That linky: http://girlarsonist.blogspot.com/2009/12/shellie-ross-continues-to-twitter-after.html

Don't know, but after that incident, I'm suprised she never cancelled her twitter account.

Odd...

Mel

MOO

ETA: look like she still tweets A LOT. Does anyone want to hear that she's doing chores and will be back in an hour. Doesn't look like much has changed -- so sad...

 

[Lovejac]

Yup, she still tweets:

Ross has a presence online, with a blog called "Blog4Mom" and a Twitter account, Military_Mom, with over 5,000 followers

Matter of fact - 5 hours ago.

ok family just came in from soccer, time to catch up and relax. emails and tweets again tomorrow

linky:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/17/shellie-ross-moms-tweets_n_395833.html

To refresh memory, this is from ABC News:

Thursday, December 17, 2009Shellie Ross Continues To Twitter After Death Of Son
ABC News reports that Shellie Ross was tweeting about the fog rolling in and her chickens going back to the coop while 911 was called by her middle son @ 5:23 to report that his 2 year old brother was floating in the pool. Ambulance arrives at 5:38 to find child in cardiac arrest. At 6:12 pm Shellie tweeted and asked for prayers for her son. She had been tweeting from 8:37 in the morning, right on thru while her son fell into the pool, and continued to tweet even after his death - which I find ironic because maybe if she wasn't tweeting, her son might still be alive.

That linky: http://girlarsonist.blogspot.com/2009/12/shellie-ross-continues-to-twitter-after.html

Don't know, but after that incident, I'm suprised she never cancelled her twitter account.

Odd...

Mel

MOO

ETA: look like she still tweets A LOT. Does anyone want to hear that she's doing chores and will be back in an hour. Doesn't look like much has changed -- so sad...

BBM

Sadly, about 5000 people do. :waitasec:

 

[mom2six]

I haven't read all the posts on this thread yet, but this is soo sad. It is too bad there was not an alarm on the gate to sound when opened. I am paranoid scared about kids and water. I couldn't live in a house with a pool. I have a four year old who has been an escape artist since he could walk, and these things happen too quickly.

On the other hand, I cannot relate to being on the internet so soon after a tragedy. We lost my father-in-law to cancer last year and I think it was almost a month before I got online again. My family needed me, and I didn't have the emotional energy to spare to go online.

 

[Chewy]

I really dislike moms that act as if they are better than another mother who accidentally lost their child. Is it so important for you (this is dropping at random) to point out all the great things you do with your child and how you would never make this mistake? Congratulations. Do you want a medal? I've had close calls with my kids due to one of my kids running away from me while I was pregnant. It happened in a split second on a subway here in NYC once when I was trying to lug a stroller down the stairs at 7 months pregnant and no one helped me. Usually my son stayed behind me but for some reason he ran down the steps and all the way out to the edge of the subway platform to lean out and look for the train. If a train had been coming he would have been dead. It can suprise you at any time.

As to the twittering, some people really believe in the power of prayer. I can totally see a desperate mother calling out for people to pray for her baby through the internet.

 

[LCoastMom]

I really dislike moms that act as if they are better than another mother who accidentally lost their child. Is it so important for you (this is dropping at random) to point out all the great things you do with your child and how you would never make this mistake? Congratulations. Do you want a medal? I've had close calls with my kids due to one of my kids running away from me while I was pregnant. It happened in a split second on a subway here in NYC once when I was trying to lug a stroller down the stairs at 7 months pregnant and no one helped me. Usually my son stayed behind me but for some reason he ran down the steps and all the way out to the edge of the subway platform to lean out and look for the train. If a train had been coming he would have been dead. It can suprise you at any time.

As to the twittering, some people really believe in the power of prayer. I can totally see a desperate mother calling out for people to pray for her baby through the internet.

If you had bothered to read past the first post or so everyone agreed with what she did in reaching out for prayer. It was the 70 other tweets during the day in question that people were questioning.. not looking for a medal because anyone here feels superior.

While what you describe is a terrifying example of how accidents happen in the blink of an eye - had the worst happened to your son and you instead of lugging a stroller and a 7th month of pregnancy belly down the stairs - been tweeting and oblivious to the danger your son was in - would have been another story. It is very easy to cross the line from an accident to neglect - when you are not watching what is happening under your nose.

If a child dies from an unknown internal infection, that is a tragedy - when a child dies from an infected diaper rash that the parents ignore - that is a tragedy caused by neglect.

 

[Chewy]

This child didn't die of a diaper rash caused by neglect so I'm not sure what your point it.

 

[tapu]

her point was:

tweeting equal neglect


does that help?

 

[Chewy]

So if you are sitting on the computer and your young teen falls down the steps in front of your home we can post "Mom sits on computer chatting while teen falls to death."

If you are home watching a Will Ferrel movie and your husband is killed in a car accident we can post "Wife laughs and watches movie while her husband dies"

Just curious? The wording of this title suggests that the mother deliberately ignored her child to sit and tweet while he drowned. That's not what happened.

A proper title would be "Child drowns while mother is on twitter"

 

[KeyboardCat]

I can only assume this woman feels miserable and eaten alive with guilt, no matter if she was tweeting when this happened, or had to answer the phone. She didn't know the pool gate was open, she probably assumed all would be well.

But to think that other people sent her tweets or whatever, saying that it was her fault, that is disgusting. I'm willing to bet she feels its her fault already, whether that is accurate or not.

Maybe her social networking or whatever was the only people had to reach out to... I don't know. But in any tragedy people look to others for reassurance and support. The last thing she needed was gut wrenching accusations.

Our society is filled with distractions that weren't present decades ago. The internet, video games, satellite TV with a billion channels, texting, cell phones.... On demand entertainment is available 24/7. If this did have something to do with this child's accident, it wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last. But we don't know exactly what happened or why this happened, so until then, for this one woman's sanity, it may be best to avoid assuming she is some tweet addict and killed her child.

 

[Angels_Not_Forgotten]

So if you are sitting on the computer and your young teen falls down the steps in front of your home we can post "Mom sits on computer chatting while teen falls to death."

If you are home watching a Will Ferrel movie and your husband is killed in a car accident we can post "Wife laughs and watches movie while her husband dies"

Just curious? The wording of this title suggests that the mother deliberately ignored her child to sit and tweet while he drowned. That's not what happened.

A proper title would be "Child drowns while mother is on twitter"

We're not talking about a 13 plus adolescent. We are not talking about the at least 30 year old plus husband. We are speaking of a 2 year old. And her need to update her twitter rather than peek her head around and check on her children. JMO though.

 

[Chewy]

The title should be "Child drowns while mom is on twitter" not the other way around. Wording it the other way is just being melodramatic and vicious.

 

[LCoastMom]

The title should be "Child drowns while mom is on twitter" not the other way around. Wording it the other way is just being melodramatic and vicious.

If it would make you feel better contact a mod, they are very accommodating when it comes to the title of threads being correct. It makes no difference to me what the title reads - the truth of the matter was a 2 year old child died because he was not being supervised, whether she was tweeting, cleaning a chicken coop, making supper for her family or "powdering her nose".

Does she feel horrible? I'm sure she does - Do I feel bad for her? Of course I do. But in truth I feel worse for her two sons, the one who died and the one who left the gate open - since it was tweeted or blogged or whatever... that her young son was the last one thru that gate and she didn't know it was left open, that IMO sounds like it was somehow more the responsibility of an 11 year old and sorry, I'm not buying. She was the adult on the property, she knew there was a two year old running around and a pool in the yard. I hope the next child fares better, while mom tweets her life -

 

[LadyL]

I had asked that the title be changed way back when I first posted this and realized it was perhaps misleading. It never got changed and perhaps wasn't so misleading after all.

The point that some are making, which I happen to agree with, is that focusing on your computer or i-phone might be considered neglectiful if your children are able to access a swimming pool and die as a result.

If this happened and a babysitter was tweeting while a child drowned, I doubt people would be so forgiving of the babysitter.

ETA: I should say I *think* I had asked that the title be changed because after thinking about it, I don't exactly remember and I sure as heck don't want it to look like I was ignored by mods. (-;

 

[LadyL]

You can thank the MSM for being melodramatic and viscious. The title came from them IIRC.