How will Jaycee heal?
- Thread starter LinasK
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agree 100 percent.
and the fact that jaycee was involved with horses before she was kidnapped is an extra special touch.......it shows she wont let this destroy who she was and who she wants to be.
BeenaBobba
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I've just read that Jaycee may be planning to go to college soon, and that her two girls may be going to private school in a year or so. I don't know how true it is, but the article was pretty interesting.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article6879354.ece
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article6879354.ece
my2sisters
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I wonder if their information is directly from Jaycee and Terry or from this forum? It sounds like a compilation of everything we have speculated to be the case.
I agree. They seem a little tabloid-ish. Plus I doubt that Jaycee or the girls would start school so soon with the trial coming up. Thanks to the OP for posting the article anyway.
BeenaBobba
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Granted, I'm not an expert on the English press, but from what I understand, The Times is generally regarded as being pretty reputable. That being said, I know what you mean. It's frustrating when newspapers and magazines list "a family friend" as a source because it's hard to gauge the veracity of what they're saying and whether the person providing the source is credible.
The article also says that all three girls may change their names. I could be wrong, but I got the impression that only Jaycee's daughters would be considering this from the article in People. Either way, I guess that would help them blend in a bit more at school. It does seem like a year would be a bit soon - especially given that high school is hard enough for average teens who don't have to deal with publicity/trials - but they've been doing better than expected so far, so who knows? On the other hand, People said that there's no timetable for reintroducing them to society. Anyhow, whatever happens, I wish them the best.
Granted, I'm not an expert on the English press, but from what I understand, The Times is generally regarded as being pretty reputable. That being said, I know what you mean. It's frustrating when newspapers and magazines list "a family friend" as a source because it's hard to gauge the veracity of what they're saying and whether the person providing the source is credible.
The article also says that all three girls may change their names. I could be wrong, but I got the impression that only Jaycee's daughters would be considering this from the article in People. Either way, I guess that would help them blend in a bit more at school. It does seem like a year would be a bit soon - especially given that high school is hard enough for average teens who don't have to deal with publicity/trials - but they've been doing better than expected so far, so who knows? On the other hand, People said that there's no timetable for reintroducing them to society. Anyhow, whatever happens, I wish them the best.
well couple of weeks ago i stated how stupid it was to believe the ne's story about jaycee "being in love with garrido" still. anyone still think that was a correct story? who knows at this point.
some of these papers take things they hear thru gossip or things that have a slight truth to them (the ne's story about jaycee going back to the crime scene had the 'lice treatment' thrown into the story to make it believable) and exagerrate it or just plain make stuff up.
but i'd love for it to be true that the girls are giong to be in school.
LinasK
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The trial should be at least two years away... I can't imagine them waiting two more years to enroll the girls in school! At minimum, they could homeschool them until the trial if it's the publicity you think is a problem...
i agree i dont think it will take 2 years to get them into school.
i wonder what jaycee is gonna do about school? ged, night school?
txsvicki
Active Member
They could start with online school and online college classes. They could do that without others knowing who they are.
think jaycee is ready for college classes? self education can only do so much over 18 years in a backyard hell.
i know she must have a good reading level because of the books she had there though.
Granted, I'm not an expert on the English press, but from what I understand, The Times is generally regarded as being pretty reputable. That being said, I know what you mean. It's frustrating when newspapers and magazines list "a family friend" as a source because it's hard to gauge the veracity of what they're saying and whether the person providing the source is credible.
The article also says that all three girls may change their names. I could be wrong, but I got the impression that only Jaycee's daughters would be considering this from the article in People. Either way, I guess that would help them blend in a bit more at school. It does seem like a year would be a bit soon - especially given that high school is hard enough for average teens who don't have to deal with publicity/trials - but they've been doing better than expected so far, so who knows? On the other hand, People said that there's no timetable for reintroducing them to society. Anyhow, whatever happens, I wish them the best.
There is some stuff in that article that is wrong though, so they are probably paraphrasing things from other sources.
songline
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Jaycee Lee Dugard calls Phillip Garrido a great man
http://www.theskichannel.com/news/s...-Lee-Dugard-calls-Phillip-Garrido-a-great-man
<<<SNIP>>>
Although deep down she may feel some compassion for Garrido, Jaycee's lawyer has said "Ms. Dugard is fully committed to working with law enforcement to ensure Mr. Garrido is held accountable for his crime". Hopefully she is able to see that this man must face justice, and that what he did is not something to sympathize with.
Jaycee Lee Dugard showed signs of Stockholm syndrome
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...ugard-showed-signs-of-Stockholm-syndrome.html
<<<SNIP>>>
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response in which kidnap victims begin to show sympathy for their abductors. It was named after a robbery in Sweden in which hostages became emotionally attached to their captors.
Knowing that it takes a long time to retrain the mind.
I am always looking for information about JC's well being.
As for her girls there is nothing written, that I can find about cases on how children born out of rape heal. Surly there has to be some very deep guilt (subconsciously) about their existence there for their self worth.
It is their well being that interest me and finding the 2 girls.
IMO Garrido P&NG are not going anywhere, but due to them some laws and CC County needs to be in a total re construct.
http://www.theskichannel.com/news/s...-Lee-Dugard-calls-Phillip-Garrido-a-great-man
<<<SNIP>>>
Although deep down she may feel some compassion for Garrido, Jaycee's lawyer has said "Ms. Dugard is fully committed to working with law enforcement to ensure Mr. Garrido is held accountable for his crime". Hopefully she is able to see that this man must face justice, and that what he did is not something to sympathize with.
Jaycee Lee Dugard showed signs of Stockholm syndrome
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...ugard-showed-signs-of-Stockholm-syndrome.html
<<<SNIP>>>
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response in which kidnap victims begin to show sympathy for their abductors. It was named after a robbery in Sweden in which hostages became emotionally attached to their captors.
Knowing that it takes a long time to retrain the mind.
I am always looking for information about JC's well being.
As for her girls there is nothing written, that I can find about cases on how children born out of rape heal. Surly there has to be some very deep guilt (subconsciously) about their existence there for their self worth.
It is their well being that interest me and finding the 2 girls.
IMO Garrido P&NG are not going anywhere, but due to them some laws and CC County needs to be in a total re construct.
did she really have "compassion" for him or was that part of the brainwashing? or did she just say that stuff cause he told her to put on a good show for the police
amazing how a report about how the parole office messed up ended up beign a critique of jaycee apperently
BeenaBobba
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Maybe all of the above. Not knowing Jaycee, it's hard to say. As hard as it is for us to understand, she may have come to "love" him in a sense. I'd imagine it'd be hard to be in a constant state of fear and hatred for eighteen years, so this would not surprise me one bit. Carl Probyn did say that she had a bond with him and that she felt her relationship with him was "almost like a marriage," so her lying to protect him makes sense in light of that. Mind you, I'm most definitely not blaming her for feeling this way and for her actions. She did what she had to do to survive, and she has nothing to be ashamed of. Had any of us been kidnapped at age eleven, I am quite sure that many of us, if not all of us, would have felt and acted in the same manner. On the other hand, her lying may also have been due to fear.
On a side, slightly OT note, to this day, Natascha Kampusch still feels something of an attachment to her kidnapper. The sad thing is that she has been openly mocked for this from the public at times, and I would hate for the same thing to happen to Jaycee. If she still has "feelings" for Garrido, she deserves compassion and patience while she works through this at her own pace and on her own time.
songline
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With that kind of brainwashing fear is the lining of everything. It is FEAR that guides all of the
victims moves.
But to survive they definitely do bond with their captor, which means that YES compassion as
miss guided as it seems is in there for sure.
Do not forget she was only 11 when she stopped being raised by her family. He was the key to
her staying alive.
YES she said many things because she was trained and indoctrinated to say them thus lie.
The report about the PO is separate. they were losers.
but that does not negate that JC will be deprogramming for a long time to come. So it is
not because of the PO that JC got a critique...
It is totally separate and both are valid, the PO did a lousy job and JC did have a misguided
sort of attachment to PG.
Just because you go back to your original family does NOT mean that your mind is right, or that
she did/does not feel compassion for him. That is all part of the Syndrome. It will take at least
a year to have her deprogrammed.
I have worked with some cult programed people it is not easy to undo, sudden freedom does
NOT resolve everything. There is still much confusion and fear.
MORE then likely, while she is now understanding that what he did is wrong, there is still some
compassion even now....But people do not understand and are sometimes mean,
We will not know of it. because the progress of her healing is not our business it is privet.
ALSO:.....About her kids: We really do not know, and it is not automatic for ALL moms to bond
with their offspring.
She may have also had a closer bond to him then to her own children...
We do not know if he let her bond with them right after birth or NOT, we do not know...
YES that is a huge part of what is real. Bonding is not automatic, not at all.
Since they did live as sisters, I do not doubt that more bonding is happening for all of
them right now. GOD Bless Them All.
Their first year has many changes not only in freedom, but also in how their minds work.
not_my_kids
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I am in an interesting place with this case. I get to see the professional side of it, through talking with dozens of mental health professionals over the course of 11 years. I also get to see the personal side of it.
I have been kidnapped myself, twice (Albeit, the first time, I was 7 months old and only remember that I don't remember anything. I was gone for four days, a very emotionally unstable woman lost her dog and decided I would be a good trade.)
The second time was a little more traumatic...ha, a little. It was a sexually based kidnapping, I was 12, almost 13, without a very good friend that saved my life, it would have been a sexually based homicide. My mother never reported me, and I luckily did not have to live through the media firestorm that Jaycee does. Nor do I have children with my attackers, not was my captivity nearly as long as Jaycee's. So those are things that I can only assume.
I had to live through three months in the hospital, multiple surgeries, necessary and cosmetic, to minimize the physical damage(which will never be corrected fully.) I had to work with teams of counselors, each specializing in a separate area, one in attachment disorders, one in anxiety issues, one in resocialization...I could go on.
And then they diagnosed one of my attackers as a sexual sadist, and the profilers started in. I was a hot psychological commodity, a living victim of a sexual sadist, held in captivity for 8 days...they wanted to pick what was left of my brain very thoroughly. They used me to learn about my attackers and people like them, I used the profilers to learn about me and people like me.
I was going to keep my story where it always is, locked safely away, but I have to let people know that I have a frame of reference, not to mention, it's my life, I can talk about it if I want. ~sticks tongue out at various therapists that said not to talk about it~
However, the details are mine, they will be shared, well, never.
I know how slow the healing will be. I know about the sense of connection and, yes, to a point, even devotion, to one's attacker. I know that when you can't break the attachment and everyone thinks you should be over it, you feel like the most screwed up person in the world. I know about looking at your own skin, and feeling like you are branded, that every scar is a red flag to the world that there is something different about you. I know about being so close to true evil for so long that you feel as if it tainted you, how could it not?
I know the processes and some of the therapies and some of what she feels, though not on the same level. I also know that as time goes on, and Jaycee heals, she will be able to take more control of her healing. When I was out of the hospital, a little girl from my area went missing, I felt that searching for her would be helpful to me, and I was allowed to. And it was.
Now, as you can see, I am a mostly functional human being. I am in college, online, as I can't handle a real college environment yet. I have kids, and it turns out I'm pretty good at raising them. I have my own home, friends, pets, all kinds of things that were up in the air for some time.
But, there were effects, some of them moderate, some quite severe. I take several drugs to help with focus and depression and anxiety and sensory problems. I can't handle crowds, I can't handle people that stand too close to me, I have severe anxiety attacks, and nightmares that are severe enough to wake me up screaming. I am afraid of the dark and afraid of bugs, I believe in home protection in the form of guns, and I own a couple. That's the level that I have to go to to feel safe. (and the dog, and the alarms, and the constant updates from Victims Advocacy.)
Jaycee can be expected to have many of the same problems, and these are the common things that I learned from the psychiatrists. The nightmares, flashbacks and anxiety they cause are likely to be permanent, on some sort of level, although it will be less severe with time. The attachment to PG will be hard to break, very very very hard to break. I have described the attachment as well as I can, and although it has been 11 years, there are days when my very first thought upon waking is of my attackers. And under the anger, which is there, there is also some other form attachment that I still don't have a word for. It is possibly what is referred to as the human connection, a form of attachment born of knowing the intimate details and workings of another person't mind, regardless of how dark those workings and details are. And there are always the odd mix of feelings, anger and sadness and loss, and still thankfulness that the person didn't kill you, or just let you die. That mix of emotions, is indescribable. It goes against everything that we have been taught about reactions and emotion. And it will work itself out to a manageable level with time. To this day, although the men that took me would have killed me, came rather close, and subjected me to things that were pretty much unspeakable, I still have and will tell people that they could have treated me worse, becuase they brought me a blanket, they fed me a sandwich, one of them let me have a flashlight...litle acts of kindness bestowed by monsters, but kindness nonetheless, is how my mind chooses to interpret their acts (although in reality, it was more to protect their investment, can't let the main attraction die before the circus is over.)
So, when I say that she will be living her therapy, actively healing, for probably the rest of her life, I am not talking out my butt, I am talking of true experience.
That's my book, and the backstory that several people now have sent PM's to ask about. I had taken it this far, I figured it was time to stop two stepping around the issue, and share. If anyone has any questions that they figure I am equipped to answer, feel free to ask, not about me, but about my experience as it relates to Jaycee.
I have been kidnapped myself, twice (Albeit, the first time, I was 7 months old and only remember that I don't remember anything. I was gone for four days, a very emotionally unstable woman lost her dog and decided I would be a good trade.)
The second time was a little more traumatic...ha, a little. It was a sexually based kidnapping, I was 12, almost 13, without a very good friend that saved my life, it would have been a sexually based homicide. My mother never reported me, and I luckily did not have to live through the media firestorm that Jaycee does. Nor do I have children with my attackers, not was my captivity nearly as long as Jaycee's. So those are things that I can only assume.
I had to live through three months in the hospital, multiple surgeries, necessary and cosmetic, to minimize the physical damage(which will never be corrected fully.) I had to work with teams of counselors, each specializing in a separate area, one in attachment disorders, one in anxiety issues, one in resocialization...I could go on.
And then they diagnosed one of my attackers as a sexual sadist, and the profilers started in. I was a hot psychological commodity, a living victim of a sexual sadist, held in captivity for 8 days...they wanted to pick what was left of my brain very thoroughly. They used me to learn about my attackers and people like them, I used the profilers to learn about me and people like me.
I was going to keep my story where it always is, locked safely away, but I have to let people know that I have a frame of reference, not to mention, it's my life, I can talk about it if I want. ~sticks tongue out at various therapists that said not to talk about it~
However, the details are mine, they will be shared, well, never.
I know how slow the healing will be. I know about the sense of connection and, yes, to a point, even devotion, to one's attacker. I know that when you can't break the attachment and everyone thinks you should be over it, you feel like the most screwed up person in the world. I know about looking at your own skin, and feeling like you are branded, that every scar is a red flag to the world that there is something different about you. I know about being so close to true evil for so long that you feel as if it tainted you, how could it not?
I know the processes and some of the therapies and some of what she feels, though not on the same level. I also know that as time goes on, and Jaycee heals, she will be able to take more control of her healing. When I was out of the hospital, a little girl from my area went missing, I felt that searching for her would be helpful to me, and I was allowed to. And it was.
Now, as you can see, I am a mostly functional human being. I am in college, online, as I can't handle a real college environment yet. I have kids, and it turns out I'm pretty good at raising them. I have my own home, friends, pets, all kinds of things that were up in the air for some time.
But, there were effects, some of them moderate, some quite severe. I take several drugs to help with focus and depression and anxiety and sensory problems. I can't handle crowds, I can't handle people that stand too close to me, I have severe anxiety attacks, and nightmares that are severe enough to wake me up screaming. I am afraid of the dark and afraid of bugs, I believe in home protection in the form of guns, and I own a couple. That's the level that I have to go to to feel safe. (and the dog, and the alarms, and the constant updates from Victims Advocacy.)
Jaycee can be expected to have many of the same problems, and these are the common things that I learned from the psychiatrists. The nightmares, flashbacks and anxiety they cause are likely to be permanent, on some sort of level, although it will be less severe with time. The attachment to PG will be hard to break, very very very hard to break. I have described the attachment as well as I can, and although it has been 11 years, there are days when my very first thought upon waking is of my attackers. And under the anger, which is there, there is also some other form attachment that I still don't have a word for. It is possibly what is referred to as the human connection, a form of attachment born of knowing the intimate details and workings of another person't mind, regardless of how dark those workings and details are. And there are always the odd mix of feelings, anger and sadness and loss, and still thankfulness that the person didn't kill you, or just let you die. That mix of emotions, is indescribable. It goes against everything that we have been taught about reactions and emotion. And it will work itself out to a manageable level with time. To this day, although the men that took me would have killed me, came rather close, and subjected me to things that were pretty much unspeakable, I still have and will tell people that they could have treated me worse, becuase they brought me a blanket, they fed me a sandwich, one of them let me have a flashlight...litle acts of kindness bestowed by monsters, but kindness nonetheless, is how my mind chooses to interpret their acts (although in reality, it was more to protect their investment, can't let the main attraction die before the circus is over.)
So, when I say that she will be living her therapy, actively healing, for probably the rest of her life, I am not talking out my butt, I am talking of true experience.
That's my book, and the backstory that several people now have sent PM's to ask about. I had taken it this far, I figured it was time to stop two stepping around the issue, and share. If anyone has any questions that they figure I am equipped to answer, feel free to ask, not about me, but about my experience as it relates to Jaycee.
songline
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Hi Not My Kids, thank you for sharing your story.
It was a very brave move on your part.
while it was hard to read, it was far harder to live it.
But everytime you empty out, there is less yuk that lives inside,
so kudos to you for putting it out there. :clap:
The more you spill, the more you empty....
I so sorry you can identify with the violation and the helplessness part, it is indeed very sad.
Thank you for sharing your story and your insights. If you are willing to answer, I would like to ask you this: Based on your experience, how do you think Jaycee is being prepared to testify?