Found Deceased IL - Benedetta 'Beth' Bentley, 41, Mount Vernon, 23 May 2010 #5

[Cubby]

I have to agree with you Cubby and that might explain the lack of photo's on fb of her children.

A lot of people don't put photo's of their children online for various reasons. Particularly the safety of their children. I do not put my sons photo's on FB. I don't even allow people to use his full first name on FB. His first initial only.

The lack of someone posting their childrens photo's online for any perv or who knows who to steal is normal protective parenting to me. I don't consider myself a 'helicopter' parent. But I would never risk publically posting his photo' on FB.

I don't see how Beth not having pics of her kids online has anything to do with this.

JMO

 

[fullofsecrets]

I understand what you are saying - but when any investigation begins, it's the people closest to the victim that are investigated. You have to find all the dirty secrets to get to the truth of what happened to BB. It could be any one of her "friends" - or business partners - or whatever substance abuse providers there may have been - each of them need to be looked at closely. It isn't just in BB's case - it would be the same if it were any one of us. And in the end, the goal is to bring BB home - so whatever it takes to do that should be okay.

I agree and understand, however IMO allowing the perception that Beth was a party girl that stayed out all night and caroused with a "bad element" is, IMO, leading some people and perhaps LE to not investigate as vigilantly as they should. This woman has been missing for over 10 months, and if she was indeed involved with known criminals IMO LE already knows about it and have probably investigated some of them. She could have slipped and fallen and heaven forbid broken her neck and just not been found yet for all we know.

 

[tarabull]

I can assure you that I know everyone in those pics , exception I dont know RR. And there is only one felon , TY.

EXCUSE ME, & welcome but are you verified????

just curious.

ETA: also curious - have you personally searched their records???

 

[littlesunshine]

I don't understand why you are seeming to be so defensive and if you would have read my post a little closer you would understand that I said that the other men in the photos are either the spouses or boyfriends of Beth's close friends. I do not personally know any of the men or women in any of the photo's. By what you wrote in your following statement you seem to. I take it you are even perhaps maybe someone in these photos and that is why you seem to acting as you are. But that is JMO.




I believe I asked you once earlier if you were verified. IIRC you said you had sent a message to Trica and Cubby has never posted if you are in fact verified or not. Are you?

I am not being defensive , I do not hang out with these people. I am in fact not in any of these photos . I just think that people are assuming that BB did these kind of activities all the time , which is not true . She was a good mother , friend , and also worked non stop . I have sent Tricia several requests and have yet to hear from her .

 

[Cubby]

I don't understand why you are seeming to be so defensive and if you would have read my post a little closer you would understand that I said that the other men in the photos are either the spouses or boyfriends of Beth's close friends. I do not personally know any of the men or women in any of the photo's. By what you wrote in your following statement you seem to. I take it you are even perhaps maybe someone in these photos and that is why you seem to acting as you are. But that is JMO.




I believe I asked you once earlier if you were verified. IIRC you said you had sent a message to Trica and Cubby has never posted if you are in fact verified or not. Are you?

FWIW, I think she was just clarifying what she knows. I did not read anything as being defensive, just replying.

Tricia is behind on verifications but has stated, and this has been posted previously,
once someone has sent Tricia their information she has given them permission to post as being verified.

When Tricia gets caught up and has an updated list for the mods to post we will update. I know she is extremely busy and will get to the verifications as she has time. She's asked us all to be patient with her heavy schedule.

hth

 

[littlesunshine]

EXCUSE ME, & welcome but are you verified????

just curious.

ETA: also curious - have you personally searched their records??? (IMO public access is a wonderful thing.)

Actually yes except for some traffic issues there is nothing . I think Cubby answered yor question concerning verification .

 

[AlwaysThinking]

IMO people are coming down awfully hard on an adult woman who chose to live her life as she did. Perhaps her intake of substances lead her to a dangerous situation, perhaps not. Beyond gathering information that would help find her, what good can come from assuming she was involved with things there is no proof of (i.e. "drug dealers"). Some people like to drink after work, some like to party, some are functional alcoholics that raise families and maintain their jobs. IMO Beth was unhappy with her station or lot in life and chose to explore other worlds looking for excitement. She probably thought she was in control and safe with her friends.

I'm sorry. I respectfully disagree with your post.

Our intentions are not to come down hard on Beth, because she had every right to make the decisions and choices she did in her life. I know Beth, so I'm not speculating when I post information. Yes, I do believe she was unhappy in her life and that is what lead her to make some of her choices. That does NOT make her a bad person, she is in fact, a very sweet and kind person. Despite the fact that she made life choices that I personally wouldn't make, did not affect my friendship with her nor did I judge her.

I think she had ZERO self confidence and that is why she carried herself the way she did, for one purpose, to attract male attention. She confused sex for love. She desperately wanted to be in love. She thought if she had the perfect hair, and the biggest *advertiser censored*, and the nicest clothes, that men would love her. But that didn't work, because she had one sexual partner after another, and I know for a fact that she used to ask them "why don't you love me". When they didn't love her, or stay with her, or moved on, she searched for it again in another guy.

The statements made about sex with many men, affairs with her own girlfriends husband, chronic lying, doing drugs and drug dealers in their "group of friends" are all TRUE. You don't need to know these people to find out information about them. Try the internet, it's amazing what you can find out. Court records ... lots of them. I am not judging her friends, they are free to live their lives however they choose to. My point is, you mentioned in your post that there is no proof, but there most certainly is.

Knowing everything about Beth will possibly lead to this case being solved. That is what we are all doing here. Trying to find Beth! And maybe she did think she was in control and safe with her friends. But she is missing, and IF she is no longer alive, then people that were with her, and anyone with a motive, needs to be looked at. Friends or strangers, it doesn't matter. In the world we live in today, people get killed everyday for a lot less than what Beth's lifestyle choices were. I do not believe she took off and I do not believe she came into harms way by a random stranger. No, I cannot prove that, but I have a strong hunch, call it intuition.

Another thing that really bothers me, there are only a few verified people on WS for Beth's case. Where are all of Beth's close friends and why aren't they on here trying to offer up information and help find her? The silence is chilling quite frankly.

JMO

 

[Cubby]

Something everyone is failing to consider.

SB and BB worked together and lived together. That's at least 16-18 hours a day between work and sleep of being 'connected at the hip'. Why would it be unusual if they sometimes socialized without each other.

My father and his wife are retired and semi retired. Sometimes my father goes fishing for 2-3 weeks with a buddy of his without his wife.
Sometimes his wife flies out of state for a few weeks to visit her adult children. My step mom has taken her grandkids to Europe without my father. Is this suspicious behavior? of course not, imo, it is indicative of a normal relationship where two people don't have to be joint at the hip every given moment of a 24 hour day.

Did Beth have secrets SB was unaware of yes, but to scrutanize every detail of their online FB photo's or how they spent the few hours they were not at home or work together is overstepping the guidelines of being a victim friendly forum.

Please keep in mind Beth is a victim. Regardless of some of the lifestyle choices she made she is STILL a victim. SB is a victim here and so are their children. Please keep that in mind with the manner in which you choose to discuss Beths case.

Thank you!

 

[AlwaysThinking]

I agree and understand, however IMO allowing the perception that Beth was a party girl that stayed out all night and caroused with a "bad element" is, IMO, leading some people and perhaps LE to not investigate as vigilantly as they should. This woman has been missing for over 10 months, and if she was indeed involved with known criminals IMO LE already knows about it and have probably investigated some of them. She could have slipped and fallen and heaven forbid broken her neck and just not been found yet for all we know.

She's been missisng for 10 weeks, not 10 months.

The LE is not going to NOT investigate based on the truths about Beth. You are right, the LE has interviewed many of the friends, and others.

How do you fall and slip and not be found? Unless of course she was standing on a cliff somewhere, miles away from human life, and then yes, maybe she wouldn't be found. She was in Mt Vernon and possibly Centralia, if she slipped and fell, I'm quite sure there are people around who certainly would have spotted her in the last 10 weeks.

 

[Cubby]

I'm sorry. I respectfully disagree with your post.

Our intentions are not to come down hard on Beth, because she had every right to make the decisions and choices she did in her life. I know Beth, so I'm not speculating when I post information. Yes, I do believe she was unhappy in her life and that is what lead her to make some of her choices. That does NOT make her a bad person, she is in fact, a very sweet and kind person. Despite the fact that she made life choices that I personally wouldn't make, did not affect my friendship with her nor did I judge her.

I think she had ZERO self confidence and that is why she carried herself the way she did, for one purpose, to attract male attention. She confused sex for love. She desperately wanted to be in love. She thought if she had the perfect hair, and the biggest *advertiser censored*, and the nicest clothes, that men would love her. But that didn't work, because she had one sexual partner after another, and I know for a fact that she used to ask them "why don't you love me". When they didn't love her, or stay with her, or moved on, she searched for it again in another guy.

The statements made about sex with many men, affairs with her own girlfriends husband, chronic lying, doing drugs and drug dealers in their "group of friends" are all TRUE. You don't need to know these people to find out information about them. Try the internet, it's amazing what you can find out. Court records ... lots of them. I am not judging her friends, they are free to live their lives however they choose to. My point is, you mentioned in your post that there is no proof, but there most certainly is.

Knowing everything about Beth will possibly lead to this case being solved. That is what we are all doing here. Trying to find Beth! And maybe she did think she was in control and safe with her friends. But she is missing, and IF she is no longer alive, then people that were with her, and anyone with a motive, needs to be looked at. Friends or strangers, it doesn't matter. In the world we live in today, people get killed everyday for a lot less than what Beth's lifestyle choices were. I do not believe she took off and I do not believe she came into harms way by a random stranger. No, I cannot prove that, but I have a strong hunch, call it intuition.

Another thing that really bothers me, there are only a few verified people on WS for Beth's case. Where are all of Beth's close friends and why aren't they on here trying to offer up information and help find her? The silence is chilling quite frankly.

JMO

TY for the excellent post AT. To hear that Beth felt that way makes me sad. If I may ask, respectfully, do you think Beth suffered from some type of bipolar disease? I ask because sometimes people suffering from bipolar put themselves in dangerous situations as a result of their risky behavior. Also, sometimes those with untreated depression, bipolar or other forms of mental illness self medicate by using alcohol or drugs.

I've wondered if those closest to Beth were ever concerned that her behavior may put her at risk prior to her going missing.

Thanks.....

 

[AlwaysThinking]

TY for the excellent post AT. To hear that Beth felt that way makes me sad. If I may ask, respectfully, do you think Beth suffered from some type of bipolar disease? I ask because sometimes people suffering from bipolar put themselves in dangerous situations as a result of their risky behavior. Also, sometimes those with untreated depression, bipolar or other forms of mental illness self medicate by using alcohol or drugs.

I've wondered if those closest to Beth were ever concerned that her behavior may put her at risk prior to her going missing.

Thanks.....

Thank you.

No, I do not believe Beth was bi-polar or had mental issues.

I do know she was so very insecure, as I stated in my previous post. I like Beth. She truly was so sweet and kind all the time. I have been to several social events with her, and early on, when I first met her, I watched her closely, trying to figure her out. She needed attention. She loved attention. It made her feel good, and Beth wanted to feel good, because I believe when you are that insecure, you just don't feel good about yourself. When men talked to her, her face would light up. She loved it, again, it made her feel good. And once she started an intimate relationship with a man, she instantly fell in love. I never understood that, because she has a husband that loves & adores her. But, just because he loved her, I know she had issues in the marriage and wasn't happy. So, everything points to - she just wanted to be loved but it had to make her feel good too. She knew SB loved her and she didn't want to hurt him, but I think she just fell out of love with him.

We talk about a lot of not so flattering things on here when it comes to Beth. I want to say that she was kind, sweet, caring, generous and she really did anything she could to help the people she loved. Her friends were very important to her.

I just have a really bad feeling that something awful happened, and that it involves someone she knew. I can't shake that feeling. There is one reason, and one reason only that I think MAYBE she ran away, and that is, if she was pregnant. Maybe she wanted to have the baby and take some time to figure out how she would explain that. The chances of that are slim IMO, and even if she did run away for that reason, she would have called JW by now, or one of her friends. She couldn't possibly be alone for this long. That is why I have such a bad feeling.

JMO

 

[schwabie]

Could SB have been the one holding the camera and taking the photos?

IMO knowing SB, he was probably at home doing breakfast/lunch/dinner & laundry, playing catch with Con/Coo, reviewing his cases, paying bills, sleeping to head back to the courthouse & office, just to do it all again. He's a gentleman, somewhat old fashioned & probably doesn't do cameras, a fancy cell phone or computers. IMO this may have been to his disadvantage. Just speculation and MOO

 

[Joe Friday]

Thank you.

No, I do not believe Beth was bi-polar or had mental issues.

I do know she was so very insecure, as I stated in my previous post. I like Beth. She truly was so sweet and kind all the time. I have been to several social events with her, and early on, when I first met her, I watched her closely, trying to figure her out. She needed attention. She loved attention. It made her feel good, and Beth wanted to feel good, because I believe when you are that insecure, you just don't feel good about yourself. When men talked to her, her face would light up. She loved it, again, it made her feel good. And once she started an intimate relationship with a man, she instantly fell in love. I never understood that, because she has a husband that loves & adores her. But, just because he loved her, I know she had issues in the marriage and wasn't happy. So, everything points to - she just wanted to be loved but it had to make her feel good too. She knew SB loved her and she didn't want to hurt him, but I think she just fell out of love with him.

We talk about a lot of not so flattering things on here when it comes to Beth. I want to say that she was kind, sweet, caring, generous and she really did anything she could to help the people she loved. Her friends were very important to her.

I just have a really bad feeling that something awful happened, and that it involves someone she knew. I can't shake that feeling. There is one reason, and one reason only that I think MAYBE she ran away, and that is, if she was pregnant. Maybe she wanted to have the baby and take some time to figure out how she would explain that. The chances of that are slim IMO, and even if she did run away for that reason, she would have called JW by now, or one of her friends. She couldn't possibly be alone for this long. That is why I have such a bad feeling.

JMO

BBM

Always, when you were with Beth at these social events you mentioned was Beth and SB married or together at that time and if so was SB present with Beth at these events?

 

[AlwaysThinking]

BBM

Always, when you were with Beth at these social events you mentioned was Beth and SB married or together at that time and if so was SB present with Beth at these events?

Hi Joe

There were many social events and no, SB was never at any of them. Yes, they were married at the time. Some of the social gatherings were at my house, and she came alone, because she is a mutual friend with one of my best friends. Other times I saw her quite a bit at my best friends house. Other times I saw her at poker games and a 40th birthday party.

 

[Joe Friday]

Hi Joe

There were many social events and no, SB was never at any of them. Yes, they were married at the time. Some of the social gatherings were at my house, and she came alone, because she is a mutual friend with one of my best friends. Other times I saw her quite a bit at my best friends house. Other times I saw her at poker games and a 40th birthday party.

So each time you did see Beth she was not with SB. I should have also asked if these events were female only events or were husbands of other women that were invited also there?

 

[Cubby]

IF Beth ran off willingly. I don't believe this to be true, but let's explore this possibility for a bit.

Beths oldest sons are close to being legal adults. I think one already is. Hence there would be two children which custody would have to be determined. The teenager is of an age where a family court judge would take into consider the childs wishes IF there were any disagreement between parents. .

IS it possible that Beth left willingly. Needed some time to figure out how she was going to address a seperation and possible divorce while not trying to hurt SB or her kids. IMO this is possible based on what others have shared with us about Beths insecurity. Is is possible she left and would have not fought SB for primary physical custody knowing he could provide for the children much better than she could?

Another thought, IF Beth is pregnant, according to law, (I will find the link if necessary- it is somewhere within the Isabella Miller-Jenkins thread here in the missing located discussion forum) SB would be the legal father of this child whether it was biologically his or not. According to law, a child born into a marriage is a product of the marriage. Is it possible Beth ran away because she knew this - that SB would be the legal father- to any child she bore while married to him, and knew he would know it couldn't possibly he his because he has had a vasectomy?

I'm just thinking outloud here.

 

[t93]

I want to urge posters not to be too upset about the salacious gossip involving Beth's lifestyle coming out. While there are some that pay special attention to a case because the victim is a sweet innocent church going momma, there are also those that love every twist and turn in an unusual case and will pay more attention to this kind of case than the other(I usually am just interested in the over 40 missing women ones). MOO.


The excess weight that led to the pregnancy speculation, remember too, sometimes once a woman gets over 40 hormones cause the waistline to be harder to slim. She could just have over 40 fluctuating hormones.

 

[AlwaysThinking]

So each time you did see Beth she was not with SB. I should have also asked if these events were female only events or were husbands of other women that were invited also there?

No, none of these gatherings were "girls only". At my house, it was my husband and I and all our friends, some are couples but also a lot of my husbands single friends. At my friends house, it was always her and her boyfriend, and other friends, both male and female. Poker games were always mixed males & females as well.

 

[sadnpod]

Is SB a poker player Always????

 

[AlwaysThinking]

Is SB a poker player Always????

Don't know if SB was a poker player. Never met him. I also do not know any of the other friends of Beth's from the Woodstock area. I met Beth through my best friend. I believe Beth had many different circles of friends.