...I understand how drugs can over-power your mind and actions.. but what i dont understand is the amount or LACK of amount of actions. I mean just nothing... Drugs or no drugs... JUST NOTHING... It's not like Dad and Darleen died in a car crash... or fell from the sky. They were murdered - AND in the very home. The evidence was everywhere you look..turn your head.... the evidence of loss and horror. to party there.. to sleep.
I really can't imagine drugs to over power your human mind and ALL your emotions - and NOT feel the emotions for THAT KIND OF loss. I guess I just cant understand the overpowering drugs can do to a mind and soul...
- so quickly after the murders?? THEY WERE MURDERED - a tornado didnt kill them.. but feelings were portrait (IMO) as if this was the case. It was said from XBF to 'move on and forget-get over it'.
It's almost like it was never there even before the murders. I mean.. the day we arrived. Just NOTHING as far as help or wanting to help. Late for appointments... lack of interest w/family and TV reporters. Even that poster on topix mentioned the visit days after to the lake house/trailer and all that was spoken was regarding money and insurance. NOT about how there will be JUSTICE for Dad and Darleen - NO just about money.
Just can't stop assuming the worst cuz of the 'down right' forward actions to the selfishness and greed.
The behavior makes me believe that there was so much more (? feelings, anger, disconnection, selfishness ) before the murders occured. There apprears to be no loss. I know that drugs can put you in that situation - lack feelings and longing for more drugs and only drugs.... but truly - if BOTH parents are murdered... SOMETHING would appear? SOMETHING??? NO??
I just have NEVER been in this kind of situation ... not until Oct 21 2005. It's impossible to begin as a normal everyday working class person on Oct 20, 2003 and then throw your's and everyone's life around you (your job, friends, other family members) in your life - into this nightmare. You just don't know how to think and feel almost every moment! Your emotions get divided and you question everything/everyone.
Alright - going outside. It's nice and DH is getting back from Webster Lake today. Him and a friend went to help out the musky club and get some water-time in..LOL.
All my love -
Rosco
Indiana Statewide VINE
VINE Service Number : (866) 959-8463
Search Results
We found the following 1 offender(s).
NOTE: Names in italic are alias names.
Register/
Details Last Name First Name Date of Birth Age Custody Status Facility/Reason Reporting Agency ANDERSON AMANDA ELLA 02/22/1985 23 Out of Custody Bonded out LaGrange County Jail
So she failed to show for court, is arrested on a warrant and then allowed to bond out again right away????
Does that make any sense? So how are they going to guarantee that she won't flee? She already failed to show for court, so that should tell them something.
What a complete let down.
It could be possible the cops/courts know she won't flee, at least not to anywhere that they can't find her.
They found her to pull her in and I would say they pretty much know all of her hangouts and is being watched.
I just dont have any words anymore... Such a dissapointment.
Why can't these 'get out of trouble free cards' ever happen to me?
Rosco
Just how much trouble have you been in? :crazy:
I've sent you an e-mail, BTW.
Hi Rosco
So glad to hear your weekend was nice & enjoyable. Wow, that's good exercise you get.. but to do it in the freezing cold.. wow! ;-) Oh next weekend sounds fun!! I know what you mean about him staying that age - they're soooo much fun at that point. My boy is 13 now and tho still fun (at times, lol) I still miss the "baby" cheeks and the little boy voice. Time goes way too fast. Extra hugs are always called for, lol, for those times when, like mine is getting to be .. "I'm too big for that now mom" -- bah.. never, I say!! :crazy:
Had friends that had a pot-belly pig. She was a hoot! And to my surprise got much bigger than I thought they did! LOL
You know, Rosco, I'm right there with ya on not understanding the lack of action and emotions. I really am. I don't know whether to lean toward attributing that to the particular drug (meth) or perhaps the person or a combination of those two particulars - that person + that drug... or is it within that person to begin with to do such a thing?! It's so hard to say. I would be willing to bet that there feelings, and situations, and drugs, perhaps even altercations that you weren't aware of beforehand. Altho I think meth tends to take hold a little faster and a little harder than some other drugs, I do think it was not a brand new thing in her life. I want to add here something I'm sure many are aware of already - meth is something that is ferocious to a persons internal organs, mind, etc. It's man made with chemicals and cleaners that I'd be leary of using in a project or task... I'd certainly never think it'd be ok to ingest any of them! I have to think it has a severely damaging affect on the brain almost immediately.
That said, many people abuse it for years! That boggles my mind. But it takes over and they live to ingest it and get the fix the body is craving at that point. But I do think there was a great deal of selfishness and a huge disconnect somewhere - the beginnings of which could probably be traced back to beginnings of certain relationships and friendships.... and drifting away from previous ones as well perhaps.
The quickness of her xbf in guiding her to that callous thinking of "getting over it" is bewildering. A loving bf would be a soother & help the grieving process not be impatient to move on to the next ordinary day! That raises the flag of drugs or involvement in my mind (and I know in others too). I think he helped keep her in a stupor to keep her from saying something that shouldn't be said.
The actions directly after the loss of your parents... the party, the renter moving in... completely incomprehesible to those of us with a non-foggy mind and even a modest amount of compassion. And that is why some of it you will never understand - none of us will - we may end up knowing more details or facts... but some of it is just beyond us to understand. We're not built that way. It's heavy and burdening and frustrating, I know, but in reality you don't want to be the kind of person who could understand some of it! I thank God that you're not. :blowkiss:
Hope it's looking like an awesome week for ya!
Justice for Terry & Darleen in 2008!!
Love ya,
snowme