Loss of control - the tumultuous swing between violence and contriteness. It was when I read the article about the altercation Matthew had with the Charlottesville lawyer in 2009 (see quote below) - the anger and swift act of violence (the pendulum swings) followed by complete remorse. In my mind......2 people lived in Jesse Matthew's head and this is why some saw the "teddy bear" and others saw the monster.
per
http://wvtf.org/post/charlottesville-journalist-sheds-light-jesse-matthew
"Wilke contends that no sooner had the violence ended that his aggressor suddenly became contrite and remorseful. And Matthew returned the phone and drove him to the hospital, where, Wilke says, he received two stitches to close a cut on the inside of his lip.
Matthew allegedly told Wilke that he had been feeling angry about getting stiffed by two fares that night and that he was sorry for what he'd done."