BBM
I think you were perhaps directing this question to me?
I really enjoyed reading your tactic. It was well thought out and I thought the reasoning(s) behind your ideas were very good too since stepmom does like to be emotionally controlling or at least control emotional situations and also has a history of not being able to control herself in certain situations. Really good post and ideas!
*Please keep in mind that my angle is not necessarily based on my own thoughts, feelings, or opinions of the situation but rather is based on what I think stepmom would be most receptive to in order to elicit the information we all want*
In a short, very condensed explanation, my angle is to be sympathetic to her situation leading up to Lucas's disappearance, and to have dad admit and accept his role in the situation.
Stepmom, whether she regrets her actions or not, is unlikely to see herself as just a monster but rather a good person who made a terrible mistake. Confronting her in a way in which you are in agreement with that, is likely going to wear her down sooner. The more she is convinced that family (particularly her parents) and close friends still love her regardless, the better the wearing down.
If we take a moment to look at her situation:
She is "just" a girlfriend. Not a fiance, not a wife. Her boyfriend is working out of state for extremely long periods of time and during that time, she is responsible not only for the child they share together, but also his son. She, in essence, is the sole adult who does all of the heavy lifting of the parenting. That is a highly stressful situation even for a married couple who were established many, many years prior and don't have the added complexities of a blended family and a volatile relationship. She was stressed and because they had cut ties with family members, she lacked additional familial support while alone. She was stressed and obviously lacked the coping skills. Dad either didn't recognize this or didn't care enough to put a plan into place to alleviate her of these stresses. [Parameters set into place for more abuse]
Dad needs to regretfully admit to how this played an enormous role into the way things unfolded and accept the bulk of the responsibility. Dad needs to express an enormous amount of guilt and regret and in turn, a small amount of understanding for stepmom and a willingness to make things right moving forward. WE have to fix this. WE have to make this right. WE HAVE TO GIVE LUCAS A PROPER BURIAL.
*Some of that was difficult to even type and was a VERY simplified explanation of my ideas and the reasons behind them for using that approach. And again, these are things that aren't my opinions but rather what I think could be a possible approach or dialogue with stepmom that SHE would be receptive to. (Poor you, no wonder you were stressed and things got out of control. Boo hoo BS basically) Stepmom doesn't get my sympathy, Lucas does*
