I have not seen it reported how long Louise was in the relationship for my understanding is that she LIKED a tweet that said "it don't matter if your in a relationship for 1yr or 12 yrs your courage to leave is commendable " trauma bonding is usually when two people have gone through the same bad experience together or have had very similar experience to each other also in relationships that have not been established for a long time where there is unhealthy attachment it is usually because there has been lovebombing and being made feel special and your the only one that i want etc and any free time is spent with each other I'm am not a psychologist and don't want to insinuate or profile but maybe because Louise spent her teens studying and building up a business she was inexperienced in relationships and it has been quoted in daily mail that her boyfriend was too immature for the army this has been linked in thread at some point so maybe the relationship was immature too definitely by the resulting car accident after the break up meaning to me that she was that upset she couldn't focus or maybe she was upset for herself for having allowed herself to be in a dysfunctional situation and nothing to do with the ex boyfriend at all and with the end result being murdered it was most likely extremely dysfunctional and possession based ,I don't think calling out whether the victim was right or wrong is the route to go down this is a horrendous way to go no matter the behaviour of the victim I feel if anything positive can come of this tragedy perhaps parliament and schools will look at teaching teens about dysfunctional relationships and what a healthy relationship looks like for example having a circle of friends first so your not always available as a perpetrator of domestic violence will most likely always want you isolated so your dependent on them and you have limited emotional support from others and its easier to keep the abuse secret and tighter controls on crossbows and other recreational weaponsI think this and Louise's last tweet speak of trauma bonding imo. I don't think it's a sign of a normal relationship to be caught up so much on what is not a long time to be in a relationship. I don't think I would be that attached to someone who I had been with for such a short time, barely even know each other at that point imo.
"Neighbour Glyn Nicholas, 77, told MailOnline the split deeply affected Louise. "Louise was a very nice girl. She ran a dog grooming business from the house. I heard that she split from a boyfriend last week and WAS VERY UPSET about it. So much so that she was driving home at some point last week and drove into a wooden telegraph pole not far from the house.""
Sisters and mum made 999 call and text as horror details emerge of Bushey crossbow killings
The wife and two daughters of BBC commentator John Hunt were found dead in Busheyuk.news.yahoo.com
bbm"Neighbour Glyn Nicholas, 77, told MailOnline the split deeply affected Louise. "Louise was a very nice girl. She ran a dog grooming business from the house. I heard that she split from a boyfriend last week and WAS VERY UPSET about it. So much so that she was driving home at some point last week and drove into a wooden telegraph pole not far from the house.""
Sisters and mum made 999 call and text as horror details emerge of Bushey crossbow killings
The wife and two daughters of BBC commentator John Hunt were found dead in Bushey
It's just a metaphor. "Snuff out" is a term for extinguishing a candle; there is an implement called a candle snuffer which is used in churches and places where there are a lot of lit candles.
I'm not sure 'drove into' can be correct considering the damage sustained was a caved in drivers door. That would suggest sliding sideways out of control at speed (possibly while being chased) or a cover story told to friends and family to explain away some deliberate damage done to the door (a violent sociopath kicking it repeatedly for instance) MOO.
Thank you so much for your wonderful explanation ,I really appreciate your time and clarification this explains a lot, I will remind myself not to jump to conclusions in futureThat's not quite right. Trauma bonding is where an individual or individuals in a relationship create a inner sense of turmoil within someone that creates a kind of "if your saying Im Bad then I need to fix it for you". It's based on a punishment/reward type dynamic where someone will go back to something that isn't good for them. It can be and is usually initiated by someone but it can happen spontaneously as well. The difference between an equally dysfunctional relationship and an abusive one. If an abuser realises that that mode of manipulation can be used to obtain a greater sense of control and dependency then they will.
I wasn't at all saying it's anything to do with her choices at all. That timeframe leaves me in no doubt that he was the initiator in that dynamic. She probably didn't know him very well at any point and it takes time to realise what he is about and leave. The extended time in inflicted turmoil is what makes that person react the way she did with being very upset. Without the stress she probably would have just cut ties but I can almost guarantee he has put allot of effort into making her think she is doing something wrong when she isn't. Going from high stress to low stress can in itself be a traumatic experience that leads to depression and anxiety.
"Trauma bonds are based on terror, dominance, and unpredictability. As the trauma bond between an abuser and a victim strengthens, it can lead to cyclical patterns of conflicting emotions. Frequently, victims in trauma bonds do not have agency, autonomy, or an individual sense of self. Their self-image is an internalization of the abuser's conceptualization of them.[7]"
Traumatic bonding - Wikipedia
en.m.wikipedia.org
, when it comes to abusive relationships I want men and women who may be suffering abuse and if one of them is looking at these messages that there is messages of hope as when news breaks of horrible tragedies like this it can instill further fear in someone who is thinking / trying to leaveIMO you wouldn’t need to be followed. If someone unwanted was to bombard you with texts or phone calls whilst driving that would be an obvious distraction especially if you were worried about being late (by their imposed curfew)
I think the accident happened after the breakup. I do suspect he was harassing her on the road, but it also could be she was simply a bundle of nerves because of him.
I think they had been an item for less than a year.Thank you so much for your wonderful explanation ,I really appreciate your time and clarification this explains a lot, I will remind myself not to jump to conclusions in future
Yes, and I think a good test of character for a partner or even a friend or teacher is if they encourage your growth.I think they had been an item for less than a year.
"Louise Hunt, 25, is understood to have introduced Clifford to her family at the start of the year and had taken him to a cousin's birthday party in April."
Crossbow killer suspect 'controlled' ex for six months, friends reveal
Louise Hunt, 25, is understood to have introduced Clifford to her family at the start of the year and had taken him to a cousin's birthday party in April.www.dailymail.co.uk
One key aspect of abusive relationships is the period of time it takes a controlling person to start the method. There is as you say normally a period of "lovebombing" or in other words "grooming" but once the purpose of that conditioning is achieved then the mask of "nice person" comes off and its time to "consolidate" the control. The" honeymoon period" can be a big warning. Be carefull when things seem too quick or too good to be true.
The way I Interpret that behaviour is its a play on the idealism that's a feature in the minds of many, it may be a certain naivety that can happen to anyone. The abuser plays on the whole "I'm your dream" we all want from a partner and then when it comes to the control its a huge and sudden drop from the top of the ladder they put them on. "I'm going to build you up high and then drop you off a cliff".
