Kyron's General Discussion Thread for 2012-13

[Donjeta]

Awesome work Donjeta! xo

So was Terri Desiree's friend or what? It sounds like Terri and Kaine met at the restaurant and started a fling while Desiree was still pregnant with Kyron. JMO

IIRC Desiree denied the claim that Terri was her friend first but that's just going from memory, I've no idea how to locate a link to say so.

EDIT: Scratch that... while I wrote that I actually already had an open tab that says so...

And Kyron's mother, Desiree, has provided more details. There have been reports in the Portland press that Desiree and Terri were old friends, but Desiree insists that couldn't be further from the truth. She says she only learned of Terri in 2002, when Desiree, while eight months pregnant with Kyron, says she found out that Kaine had started a relationship with Terri.

While Kaine disagrees about the degree of his infidelity he apparently agrees that Terri was his date and not Desiree's friend.

Kaine, however, insists that he and Desiree had broken up before he stated seeing Terri, agreeing to live separate lives under the same roof just until their baby came along. In any event, Kaine and Desiree eventually divorced. At first Desiree moved into a new place near Kaine's home in Portland. Little Kyron lived with her for the first two years of his life. But Desiree was sick with severe kidney problems.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/38420266/ns/dateline_nbc-crime_reports/t/little-boy-lost/#.UlL_MFVX-pg

 

[matou]

Wow, so he's with Terri while Desiree is home and preggo. wow. Sorry, I know it's a bit O/T but still pisses me off. JMO This also happened to a friend of mine too but she moved out before having her baby.

 

[Pocono Sleuther]

But neither parent in any household with healthy children has to stay home. IMO this is a choice, and a bit of a luxury, not a necessity, for the household to be supported by one income so the child/ren can have a stay at home parent. It's weird to say Kaine wasn't "willing to" stay home with Kyron - if he hadn't worked, who would have paid the mortgage? And Desiree didn't have custody and lived hours away, on top of her medical condition, so she had no choice to stay home with a child who didn't even live in her home.

Snipped for space.

We'll have to agree to disagree here. Personally, raising your own children is your responsibility. It's not a luxury. You make sacrifices in order to be a stay at home parent. I had children to raise them myself. Not to send them off for 9 or 10 hours a day as babies. Daycare isn't free. It's rather expensive.

Anyway, what exactly was DY's medical condition? Do we know for sure what it was that caused her to not only give up custody of her young son but to move hours away? In TMs eyes, she sacrificed and was betrayed. That's my unwavering opinion. Maybe TM didn't think DYs condition necessitated giving up her son and she also had anger about that. You have to understand these women. They go into relationships thinking it's going to be all fun like the beginning. Then when reality hits and she's left with a young son and an infant Ky to care for, things changed for her. She wanted the life she had with KH prior to Ky being their full responsibility. When things changed, she got ticked off and it snowballed for years. There were signs she was at the end of her rope: the drinking every day til she passed out, the weight gain, sending her son to live with her parents, the emails to DY. She finally cracked and Ky paid the price.

 

[Donjeta]

I tried to reply earlier and screwed up. ITA. So TH owes nothing toward the household? Wacko. This line from her email sums up her 'owe me' attitude.

“I have no money because I stayed home with Kyron at birth since his natural mom wouldn't - spent all of my 30k to do so.”
Just sayin’. TH be bitter. IMO. IMO.

She knew what she was signing up for at marriage, right? Or did this happen after they were married? (Having to take care of Kyron).

*IF* Terri stayed at home with Kyron "at birth" it was in 2002. He was born in September. (however, he lived with Desiree for the first two years of his life)
Kaine and Terri got married in early 2007. That was the year that Kyron started school so he would not have needed a full time carer at home after that.

In August 2002 Desiree filed for divorce.
September 2002 Kyron is born.
Mid-December 2002 Terri moved in with Kaine.
2003 Kaine and Desiree are divorced officially
By early 2003 Kyron is in day care and spends two hours in the afternoons with Kaine.
Terri is on the substitute teachers call list from 2003 up until 2006. No long term positions but I can't find info on whether she had short term positions.
2003 or 2004 she gets her master's degree. (conflicting info on the date)
2004 Desiree goes to Canada, Kaine gets full time custody. Kyron is in day care.
2005 January - April Terri spends a lot of time buffing herself up for the bodybuilding contest in April. I'm guessing that Kyron is either in day care or the gym day care.
2005 July: The DUI incident
2005 December: Terri starts a restaurant job.
2006 August: the restaurant job ends.

2007 Kaine and Terri move and later got got married.
March 2007 her teaching licence expires.
Kyron starts school before his fifth birthday.
Somewhere around this time Terri gets another restaurant job.

Early 2008 Terri gets pregnant
Late 2008 she gives birth to a daughter.
-----

There's not really that much of a window of opportunity for her to be a stay-at-home parent for Kyron for very long, if you define stay-at-home not only as unemployed but taking care of the child full time.

Sooo... in 2010 she writes that she's broke because she spent some time with Kyron after he was born. (Let's assume that is true for a moment.)
Kyron was born in 2002. She is still broke 8 years later, after holding several jobs. Why?

Oh yeah, because her hubby makes her pay for some household expenses. How disgusting and unfair of him. (I suppose she thought if she hadn't been married to Kaine she could have lived somewhere completely free of charge??)

 

[Donjeta]

Anyway, what exactly was DY's medical condition? Do we know for sure what it was that caused her to not only give up custody of her young son but to move hours away? .

She had kidney failure. See the nbcnews link I posted a while ago.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

Snipped for space.

We'll have to agree to disagree here. Personally, raising your own children is your responsibility. It's not a luxury. You make sacrifices in order to be a stay at home parent. I had children to raise them myself. Not to send them off for 9 or 10 hours a day as babies. Daycare isn't free. It's rather expensive.

Anyway, what exactly was DY's medical condition? Do we know for sure what it was that caused her to not only give up custody of her young son but to move hours away? In TMs eyes, she sacrificed and was betrayed. That's my unwavering opinion. Maybe TM didn't think DYs condition necessitated giving up her son and she also had anger about that. You have to understand these women. They go into relationships thinking it's going to be all fun like the beginning. Then when reality hits and she's left with a young son and an infant Ky to care for, things changed for her. She wanted the life she had with KH prior to Ky being their full responsibility. When things changed, she got ticked off and it snowballed for years. There were signs she was at the end of her rope: the drinking every day til she passed out, the weight gain, sending her son to live with her parents, the emails to DY. She finally cracked and Ky paid the price.

You can raise your children and still work. One does not have to be home to do that. That would be an opinion and not one that applies to others just ourselves.

I think that there is a lot of minutia in this case about the relationships between everyone that we still don't have the full scoop on.

 

[ladonna]

She had kidney failure. See the nbcnews link I posted a while ago.

Why go to Canada for *kidney Failure*? Wouldn't one have to spend some time there for residency requirements? If I had kidney failure, the best in the world would be right here in the US. How would health insurance up there help DY? This doesn't make any sense to me at all.

 

[MissJ]

You can be sick and raise your children also. My mother had cancer when my baby brother was about 18 months. She didn't give him up. JMO.

 

[Donjeta]

JMO but if you're a single mother and are ill enough to have to spend long stretches of time in hospital, leaving your child with his perfectly capable father who has always been a part of his life is not called "giving him up", it's called, "thinking of what's in the best interests of the child" (although this presumes that no one in the father's family is a future child killer but I suppose you can't always tell). The divorced parents who don't live with the child full time but have regular visitation and other contacts are still raising the child imo.

I don't recall it ever being reported why DY went to Canada for treatment but perhaps it was an insurance issue if the treatment she required wasn't covered by her insurance, if any, and it would have been cheaper to get it in Canada. IIRC the kidney problem was something about having taken a non-FDA approved herbal drug or something like that. It says here that some US citizens get their prescription medicines in Canada because it costs less.
[ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_care_in_Canada"]Health care in Canada - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/ame]

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/newcomers/after-health.asp
According to this there is some variation between provinces in Canada, regarding on how long do you have to be a resident in order to be eligible for health care.

 

[MissJ]

As it turns out though, Kaine ended up with custody of Ky. Not just doing care taking of his child while DY couldn't.

 

[Donjeta]

As it turns out though, Kaine ended up with custody of Ky. Not just doing care taking of his child while DY couldn't.

While it might have turned out to be unfortunate for Kyron in this case (assuming that things got tense at the Horman household, Terri got resentful, eventually snapped and is guilty of his disappearance which is still to be proven) I'm not sure why fathers should be assigned just doing caretaking duties in case the mother is unable to. Fathers are equally capable of being parents in their own right and not just babysitters.

 

[human]

If Terri did not like her situation, she could------divorce.

Or, she did not have to marry. How long did they live together before the wedding? I can't remember.

If she did not want to raise someone else 's child then get out. Don't cry about it.

I still say she had a pretty nice life and did not want to give up the cash and cush

 

[Donjeta]

Hm. She does all of the yard work. So where does the landscaper fit in?

How does she manage to collect unemployment? When was the last tine she worked? Was she actively looking for a job like you are supposed to on unemployment?

Kaine got her a hot Mustang, but she could not go anywhere in it?

Terri says she had to mow the lawn, James says he had to mow the lawn...

James said he had to mow the lawn, take the trash down the quarter-mile driveway and help his mom wash the dishes.

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/08/terri_horman.html

 

[blefuscu]

Why go to Canada for *kidney Failure*? Wouldn't one have to spend some time there for residency requirements? If I had kidney failure, the best in the world would be right here in the US. How would health insurance up there help DY? This doesn't make any sense to me at all.

It really has no bearing on the case though. DY was very sick, she needed treatment. If she was in the USA Kyron would have had to live with someone as DY would have been in hospital. It's obvious to anyone that DY regrets allowing Kyron stay with Kaine and Terri. She's devestated.

 

[human]

For some reason she needed to go to Canada. No insurance?

I have seen medical costs on a chart on the net somewhere. We are super high in cost and something like 33 in quality of health care. I doubt if there is any residency requirement if you are paying. The residency would be if you were trying to get free health care.

Just because you want to move to another country does not mean you can. Other countries have rules as well about who can move there and how long they can stay

 

[Knox]

I thought Desiree had Canadian citizenship and the treatment she needed was considered experimental in the US. She talked about this in a television interview, I'll see if I can find a link (unless someone else finds it first).

 

[human]

I thought Desiree had Canadian citizenship and the treatment she needed was considered experimental in the US. She talked about this in a television interview, I'll see if I can find a link (unless someone else finds it first).

That would be great! I have never heard that!

 

[La Louve]

I think that while Desiree was in Canada for her illness, it would have been legally sound for Kaine to have full legal custody. I'm sure this was advised by the family law attorneys, possibly to protect Kyron in case he fell ill and needed medical treatment requiring parental signoff.

People in the US travel to foreign countries more and more for medical treatment. If Desiree has relatives in Canada, it would have been a logical option for someone in her situation.

It's interesting to me again how the end of the school year would have been a time of stress for Terri. She'd be losing whatever teaching job she may have had, with the attendant pressure to find other employment. And if she couldn't find a job, she'd be stuck at home for the summer with a child about whom she didn't feel warmly.

 

[human]

I do not think Terri had a teaching job. For me, there is the question if she could have a teaching job with a child endangerment on her record from the time she drove drunk with James in the car.

I do agree that she probably was not looking forward to a summer with Kyron.

 

[Cherry]

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/...-pebble-toads-biodiversity-evolution-science/

I know Kyron would be excited to see this news this morning...if only he could be found.:banghead: