Lori Ruff Identified as Kimberly McLean of PA

[bessie]

:modstop:

STOP sleuthing the family.

Thank you.

 

[Laughing]

So did anyone ask during the Q & A if Kim was a vegetarian when she was young? Am I the only one who wants to know how she became a vegetarian who liked Cuban food growing up in an apparently Irish Catholic family?

At least two of us, Gardener1850, at least two of us!

The transition from Catholic to Baptist, too. BTW were the assorted Baptist churches LEK attended Southern Baptist or other Baptist churches? I expect that there are more American Baptist churches around Philadelphia and a wide variety in East Texas.

One of the three pastors mentioned in LEK's obit was from a Disciples of Christ church (now merged with the Congregational Church.)

We're still all over the map, literally & figuratively!

 

[EllieBee]

Honestly I'm in Illinois and I only came across this case a week ago. It happened to come up on my facebook newsfeed. If it hadn't I'm not sure I would have known about it either.

Yup. I am in NW Louisiana (3 hrs from Leonard and 1 hr from Longview) and only recently heard about Lori Ruff.

And I am probably more savvy to missing/ murdered/ unsolved cases than the typical person. Still, nothing about Lori Ruff....

 

[EllieBee]

So did anyone ask during the Q & A if Kim was a vegetarian when she was young? Am I the only one who wants to know how she became a vegetarian who liked Cuban food growing up in an apparently Irish Catholic family?

I am not sure those preferences mean much if anything.

I grew up in a traditional Southern, meat-eating, Episcopalian, Scot-Irish/Anglo family.

I was a vegetarian for many years. I also adore Cuban/Carribean cuisine and Indian and Thai foods. Because they are delicious. I never lived in Cuba, India or Thailand. I like the food nonetheless.

I also no longer attend church but when I last did, it was as a Southern Baptist who was baptized by immersion as an adult.

I am not living a secret life. I have no secrets. I am just a woman who made various choices during my life.

Yes, Lori/Kim is not typical in that she led a secret life and also killed herself. But I think we may be reading way too much into every little thing. Just because a person grows up in an Irish Catholic family does not make it weird that she liked Cuban food....

JMO

 

[Philigumbo]

So, does anyone think her father or stepfather (whichever one was the stockbroker) could have written the notes page?
Stockbrokers need to know time zones right? Maybe all these people were potential clients he was researching?

Maybe it was his handwriting and that's why she kept it? I kept notes, letters, doodling, etc, from my brother, mom, and dad, just because I like seeing their handwriting sometimes...one note is just a little "hangman" game but it makes me smile.
Maybe that's why the notes page survived the shredding.

 

[Gardener1850]

At least two of us, Gardener1850, at least two of us!

The transition from Catholic to Baptist, too. BTW were the assorted Baptist churches LEK attended Southern Baptist or other Baptist churches? I expect that there are more American Baptist churches around Philadelphia and a wide variety in East Texas.

One of the three pastors mentioned in LEK's obit was from a Disciples of Christ church (now merged with the Congregational Church.)

We're still all over the map, literally & figuratively!

I believe all the the churches Lori attended in Texas were Southern Baptist with the exception of possibly the one where her funeral was held (I'm not sure if that one is SBC). Anyone who want to look them up can. Many have non-demon names but were SBC when I looked them up.

In 1998 She worked at Highland Meadows Christian Church in Colleyville, TX (no longer exists but you can look up their old website on the wayback machine)
In 2003 She met Blake at Northwest Bible Church in Dallas, TX
In 2004 they were married by the pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Farmersville, TX
In 2010 they went to marriage counseling at First Baptist Church of Leonard, TX
In 2010 her funeral was at First Christian Church in Longview, TX
According to her obituary she was a member of Cornerstone Baptist Church of Trenton and had attended First Baptist Church of Leonard

 

[Owutatangledweb]

The comments on the FB interview has the reporter saying that a few people sent in old yearbook photos of Kim and that the ST had them on an article today. I can't find this. Has anyone seen these photos or the article Maureen is referring to?

 

[Gardener1850]

I am not sure those preferences mean much if anything.

I grew up in a traditional Southern, meat-eating, Episcopalian, Scot-Irish/Anglo family.

I was a vegetarian for many years. I also adore Cuban/Carribean cuisine and Indian and Thai foods. Because they are delicious. I never lived in Cuba, India or Thailand. I like the food nonetheless.

I also no longer attend church but when I last did, it was as a Southern Baptist who was baptized by immersion as an adult.

I am not living a secret life. I have no secrets. I am just a woman who made various choices during my life.

Yes, Lori/Kim is not typical in that she led a secret life and also killed herself. But I think we may be reading way too much into every little thing. Just because a person grows up in an Irish Catholic family does not make it weird that she liked Cuban food....

JMO

It's not weird at all but I am curious where in the country she got exposed to Cuban food in the 1980's/1990's. Was there a pocket of Cuban immigrants in the Philly area? Was there a popular Cuban restaurant in her neighborhood? I always thought the Cuban food would indicate she had a connection to Florida where a large number of Cuban Americans call home. We have always studied all these little things hoping they would be clues to her identity. I know that sounds really funny but when you have so little info to build a profile of someone those are the details you end up studying.

 

[Laughing]

I am not sure those preferences mean much if anything.

I grew up in a traditional Southern, meat-eating, Episcopalian, Scot-Irish/Anglo family.

I was a vegetarian for many years. I also adore Cuban/Carribean cuisine and Indian and Thai foods. Because they are delicious. I never lived in Cuba, India or Thailand. I like the food nonetheless.

I also no longer attend church but when I last did, it was as a Southern Baptist who was baptized by immersion as an adult.

I am not living a secret life. I have no secrets. I am just a woman who made various choices during my life.

Yes, Lori/Kim is not typical in that she led a secret life and also killed herself. But I think we may be reading way too much into every little thing. Just because a person grows up in an Irish Catholic family does not make it weird that she liked Cuban food....

JMO

I figure that since LEK/KML needed to let go of so many things, she would hold very tightly to others.

Seems she let go of Catholicism. You know, with experience i the SBC, that adults join be baptism or be letter. IF LEK joined an SBC church, did she make a profession of faith & receive baptism by immersion, or perhaps provide a letter of transfer from a church next door to the Mandarin Oriental? Difficult to explain a baptismal certificate from the Diocese of Philadelphia, I think.

(Somewhat OT: Concerns me that you may have been baptized twice.)

 

[FrankieB]

1) I'm confused about comments I've read in a few different places implying that what we learned was Lori's actual identity is anticlimactic. I don't understand that. In fact to me, this revelation is a more perplexing and fascinating scenario than what I had narrowed down in my mind as plausible theories. She's more interesting to me now than she was a week ago. Am I the only one?

2) How in the world, I mean how in the WORLD, was Lori not recognized by someone who knew her as Kimberly? I understand the low profile Lori kept when she was alive and while it's a little surprising, I can see how she managed to keep her new life separate from her old life. However, the last few years with all of the publicity her case has had, it's unimaginable to me that not one person from her Kimberly life saw the Lori Ruff story and thought, "She kind of looks like that Kim girl" enough to check it out. I know this hasn't been Brangelina divorce level coverage but all it would take would be one superficial glance at a news story to catch the attention of just one person who spent time with her when she was Kimberly. I just can't believe that in all these years, that never happened, especially in the beginning when her story was widely published.

1. I found the conclusion to be one of those "reality is stranger than fiction" cases. I simply don't get it.

2. I stumbled upon the case by mere coincidence and it stuck with me. Even a guy who met her years ago found a youtube video and commented on her personality. When I shared the conclusion on facebook friends I had no idea even followed the case commented. In two very distant countries from each other and from me as well. I find it quite peculiar as well no family member EVER stumbled upon the case at all...

 

[Tony1902]

Trying to come to grips with this, never having followed the thread(s) closely. This reads like a Jane Whitefield (Thomas Perry) mystery novel. As someone asked up-thread, no one in PA ever reported her missing? Or searched?

 

[MizKim]

The comments on the FB interview has the reporter saying that a few people sent in old yearbook photos of Kim and that the ST had them on an article today. I can't find this. Has anyone seen these photos or the article Maureen is referring to?

Don't have links to actual FB posts but here's these that others have found.

What do you all think??

View attachment 101880 View attachment 101881

Posting the 3rd grade photos that were found of her and posted on FB.

 

[Philigumbo]

Y

I understand, and I'm not saying that it's weird that there are tons of people unfamiliar with the case. I'm saying that it's weird that in these years this has been going on, out of all of the people who came in contact with her through her young life as Kimberly, not one caught a glance at the story and the pictures and made a connection.

For instance, let's say you were to select some random adult American's Facebook who has, let's say 300 friends - I'll bet at least one person on that list would recognize the story and would have at some point heard about it and seen a picture of Lori.

Weyden, I understand what you are saying. For years, if you searched Jane Doe or Unidentified Woman, etc; the story of "FLEK" eventually showed up. In a family with a missing member, it would seem someone would eventually become curious, search, and stumble across a FLEK site.

Strange as it is, it didn't happen with Jason Callahan (Grateful Doe), Suzanne Sevakis (Sharon Marshall), or Tammy Alexander (Caledonia Jane Doe), and others either. 20 years went by before casual acquaintances recognized Jason's pictures but didn't remember his last name. Suzanne had a book, and I believe a movie, written about her story that was a best seller and her kidnapper had been her stepfather. She was missing 40 years and her story was everywhere! Tammy was missing almost 40 years when an old school friend started trying to look her up. These cases were all over the Internet for years!

Some have said they thought their family member was off living their life happily somewhere. Some said they didn't know what to do. Some have said they were told their family members were adults so leave them alone. Some tried searching and ran into dead ends. Anyway...tools are advancing, just look what DNA and genealogy did in this case! I only wish Kimberly/Lori had had someone to reach out to before she ended her life.

 

[SavetheQueen]

Now that this news has finally sunk in, I have a couple of questions/thoughts and I think this group has invested the most in this case, so I'd be interested if you all have input. These have been talked about a little, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.

1) I'm confused about comments I've read in a few different places implying that what we learned was Lori's actual identity is anticlimactic. I don't understand that. In fact to me, this revelation is a more perplexing and fascinating scenario than what I had narrowed down in my mind as plausible theories. She's more interesting to me now than she was a week ago. Am I the only one?

2) How in the world, I mean how in the WORLD, was Lori not recognized by someone who knew her as Kimberly? I understand the low profile Lori kept when she was alive and while it's a little surprising, I can see how she managed to keep her new life separate from her old life. However, the last few years with all of the publicity her case has had, it's unimaginable to me that not one person from her Kimberly life saw the Lori Ruff story and thought, "She kind of looks like that Kim girl" enough to check it out. I know this hasn't been Brangelina divorce level coverage but all it would take would be one superficial glance at a news story to catch the attention of just one person who spent time with her when she was Kimberly. I just can't believe that in all these years, that never happened, especially in the beginning when her story was widely published.

So having said that, it puzzles me greatly in sort of a "what are the odds?" way but I guess I accept the moderately suitable explanation that she seemed to be an introvert who probably didn't collect friends by the dozens. BUT I can't even come close to comprehending how this happened with her family. In fact, I don't believe it. I honestly believe it's next to impossible that not one family member had figured it out. I know people keep asking why the family didn't search for her and the answer that is given, correctly, is that she left voluntarily so she wasn't "missing". However, I can't accept that not one sibling, cousin, aunt, or uncle hasn't sat at the computer in the last few years, thought about her, gotten curious and started googling. Of course googling her as Kimberly wouldn't bring anything but for anyone whose family member left a few decades ago and hasn't been heard of since, stories like Lori's are going to at least merit a glance. Even with a small amount of curiosity and the most basic search skills, Lori's face would likely appear. She didn't undergo any huge changes in her appearance that would make her unrecognizable. And it was SO weird to me that her mother didn't react until a more recent photo of her was shown.

I am praying for both families and hope the adjustment is as smooth as possible. Lori's story remains a mystery even now.

This.

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise specified.*

 

[SavetheQueen]

Respectfully snipped:

For instance, let's say you were to select some random adult American's Facebook who has, let's say 300 friends - I'll bet at least one person on that list would recognize the story and would have at some point heard about it and seen a picture of Lori.

That's how I found it. I used to live in Leonard, TX. My sister lives the next town over. Someone posted it a link to the story in a comment on her Facebook where they were talking about a cold case in the area that's being looked into. Drawn to it because these are people who lived where we did (at different times than I did).

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise specified.*

 

[Harriet]

HI Harriet !!:seeya:

Oh...there you are...yes~~now I remember it was you Harriet~~~you were right at least about the Irish part...LOL Great job!!

😃 Hi back. Only thing I was right about! I have spent so long down rabbit holes that my eyes are still adjusting to the light.

My bad luck was changing my internet provider and being without internet for two days when this broke. I have used a months data up on my phone just catching up.

It mentions in the article that being visited a relative at work to tell them this story. This suggests to me her sister. Personally I think the bio dad helped her financially for a few years and his death provoked a name change.

I also think that leaving and never contacting again suggests huge levels of a anger towards her family and that may have caused some mental health issues not the other way round. Lots of her behaviour could be caused by the sadness she felt and the trauma she may have suffered. Many mental health problems can be traced back to unresolved anger that has never been addressed and this then turns inwards. Many mental health professionals think depression is actually anger turned inwards on oneself.

 

[SavetheQueen]

The comments on the FB interview has the reporter saying that a few people sent in old yearbook photos of Kim and that the ST had them on an article today. I can't find this. Has anyone seen these photos or the article Maureen is referring to?

I saw several school pictures today here, but I didn't know that there was another article.

*All statements are that of my own opinion unless otherwise specified.*

 

[BigCityAccountant]

I figure that since LEK/KML needed to let go of so many things, she would hold very tightly to others.

Seems she let go of Catholicism. You know, with experience i the SBC, that adults join be baptism or be letter. IF LEK joined an SBC church, did she make a profession of faith & receive baptism by immersion, or perhaps provide a letter of transfer from a church next door to the Mandarin Oriental? Difficult to explain a baptismal certificate from the Diocese of Philadelphia, I think.

(Somewhat OT: Concerns me that you may have been baptized twice.)

Hi Laughing!! :seeya:

I was baptized twice. Once as a baby in the Catholic faith and another when I got older (adult) in the Christian faith. When I was a baby I wasn't able to make the decision to accept Christ in my life, however when I became an adult I was.

With that said, I was listening to the song Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave. It is so fitting to this case~~it made me cry.

Gardener1850~~I'm so sorry to hear about people stealing your posts and posting them elsewhere. I hope they start giving you credit. This seems to be a common occurrence. On the Missy Beaver thread, someone made a map~~and it was shown on the Nancy Grace show. Even in other threads, I've seen people take things as their own, when others have first posted it. Please be sure to give credit to the original poster. :gaah:

 

[rainwater]

This question is more for the mods: Should the forums on Lori/Kimberly and the Grateful Doe forums be moved to the archives on WS?

 

[Hank36]

So Agent Velling was actually retired? And he took the story to a Seattle reporter because he already knew her? No wonder the whole "investigation" seemed like something straight out of the Little Rascals.

When he was in Pennsylvania, was Velling shocked to learn that some people out there speak without an accent, just like people from the West Coast?

Also, O'Hagen's article--which I read after McAfee pleaded me not to click on it--failed to answer the most essential question: how was the connection made between "Lori" and her family?

More importantly--after insisting that she was only interested in interviewing people who knew "Lori" prior to 1988, why is O'Hagen now claiming that there is much we can't know about her disappearance because "all of these events happened a long time ago?" Is this woman the laziest jourrnalist alive or what?