MA - Bella Bond, 2, found dead, Deer Island, Boston Harbor, June 2015 - #6

[heartgoesout]

I am going to ask a question here. You suspect there is something "not right" going on next door.. down the street or maybe in your own family. Things dont add up.. or you know one of the parents is a druggie or whatever.. HONESTLY, what would YOU do? Child looks sad and dirty and ..you fill in the blanks.

Would you call the police? Dcys? You really cant remain anonymous when you call the police..they tape the calls..can see your phone # etc. DCYS isnt very responsive..

Who among us would really call? That is a question we need to honestly think about. We can all wax poetic about the poor abused children, the rotten people in Bella's life who never did anything about the abuse.. but what would WE do? i am a mandatory reporter in my professional capacity.. not sure if being a neighbor, for example, i have to call it in, though. Would you risk a rock through your window, a bullet?

If you see something, say something.. but would you?

Anything i write is just my opinion

I wrote about two experiences I had with DCF a couple of pages back. Both were shocking to me. The most shocking, and I'll summarize, is when the mother was out of the country to get a boob job and no babysitter or adult showed up for weeks, no electricity in the house and animal feces everywhere, when I called DCF to tell them I had the child and he would be staying with me, they said ok. When I pressed and said would you like my name and address the women said "uh ok" and halfheartedly took my info. I even said to her I could be a child rapist for all you know. The grandmother tried with all she had but was told she had no rights. This kind of stuff has gone on for years in this "upscale" home. We've all called and continue to call. Yet nothing happens. Three children live there. Two of them have been arrested, one of them with an ankle bracelet. The file on that house must be inches thick yet nothing happens.

I really believe the general populations thought process on DCF is that they will let you down and really are no help unless there is blood all over the place. Every state, every income level. Despite some great people who really do care about what their job, they simply cannot function and really help within this defunct system.

 

[kimi_SFC]

Justice for Bella!
:rose:
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[kaen]

Who among us would really call? That is a question we need to honestly think about. We can all wax poetic about the poor abused children, the rotten people in Bella's life who never did anything about the abuse.. but what would WE do? i am a mandatory reporter in my professional capacity.. not sure if being a neighbor, for example, i have to call it in, though. Would you risk a rock through your window, a bullet?

If you see something, say something.. but would you?

Anything i write is just my opinion

I am also a managed reporter. I carry my sense of duty to my neighborhood and family. I have made and will make a report if I think it is necessary. Yes, I would risk the repercussions. IMO, not enough people remember that we have a duty to protect children even if it makes us uncomfortable.

 

[Confusion]

I am going to ask a question here. You suspect there is something "not right" going on next door.. down the street or maybe in your own family. Things dont add up.. or you know one of the parents is a druggie or whatever.. HONESTLY, what would YOU do? Child looks sad and dirty and ..you fill in the blanks.

Would you call the police? Dcys? You really cant remain anonymous when you call the police..they tape the calls..can see your phone # etc. DCYS isnt very responsive..

Who among us would really call? That is a question we need to honestly think about. We can all wax poetic about the poor abused children, the rotten people in Bella's life who never did anything about the abuse.. but what would WE do? i am a mandatory reporter in my professional capacity.. not sure if being a neighbor, for example, i have to call it in, though. Would you risk a rock through your window, a bullet?

If you see something, say something.. but would you?

Anything i write is just my opinion

I not only, but I have.

 

[katydid23]

It would be good if we started treating kids differently in schools. Problem solving techniques taught instead of shame and punishment.

Mental health services at school, Right on site. Many parents want treatment for kuds but they cannot leave work to get their kids to the office.

Parenting classes in schools. We could do a lot in schools.

As I always say, the Columbine killers could pass the high stakes testing for reading and math. So what!

I don't know if it is that good to have mental health services right on the school grounds. I think it is hard for the students to feel comfortable seeing a mental health worker on the campus because they don't want the other students to see them coming and going. We had that problem in the school where I worked. It was supposed to be 'top secret' but kids see everything. And they talked and rumors got started. It made some kids drop out of much needed services. JMO

 

[Sonya610]

The most shocking, and I'll summarize, is when the mother was out of the country to get a boob job and no babysitter or adult showed up for weeks, no electricity in the house and animal feces everywhere, when I called DCF to tell them I had the child and he would be staying with me, they said ok.

Were there animals left alone too? Starving in the house?

 

[BUF]

Were there animals left alone too? Starving in the house?

From the sound of it, I'm guessing food wasn't left for anyone in that house. Pathetic!

 

[BUF]

Just an FYI...I posted an updated timeline with entries from the new article. This morning I noticed that one of the entries was out of order...oooops. I have fixed it on my file & will be reflected next time.

 

[human]

I am going to ask a question here. You suspect there is something "not right" going on next door.. down the street or maybe in your own family. Things dont add up.. or you know one of the parents is a druggie or whatever.. HONESTLY, what would YOU do? Child looks sad and dirty and ..you fill in the blanks.

Would you call the police? Dcys? You really cant remain anonymous when you call the police..they tape the calls..can see your phone # etc. DCYS isnt very responsive..

Who among us would really call? That is a question we need to honestly think about. We can all wax poetic about the poor abused children, the rotten people in Bella's life who never did anything about the abuse.. but what would WE do? i am a mandatory reporter in my professional capacity.. not sure if being a neighbor, for example, i have to call it in, though. Would you risk a rock through your window, a bullet?

If you see something, say something.. but would you?

Anything i write is just my opinion

Yes. I have and that is when I realized that you have to be more assertive, Hubby and I watched a 13 year old neighbor boy and his friend hit the four year old sister and 3 year old brother,

We called CPS and all they did was call the mother at work. I would call the police the next time. Maybe they would have come out.

There is not enough money and workers. Calls are triaged.

But I can see being worried about retaliation.

 

[human]

I don't know if it is that good to have mental health services right on the school grounds. I think it is hard for the students to feel comfortable seeing a mental health worker on the campus because they don't want the other students to see them coming and going. We had that problem in the school where I worked. It was supposed to be 'top secret' but kids see everything. And they talked and rumors got started. It made some kids drop out of much needed services. JMO

That is a good point but this was at an elementary school.

How can services be provided when many parents have jobs that do not allow for time off to bring their kids to appts? There are only so many hours after school with dinner and bedtime. And some parents have no car.

What can be done?

 

[Sonya610]

From the sound of it, I'm guessing food wasn't left for anyone in that house. Pathetic!

Well I certainly hope LEO or animal control was notified so the animals could be saved.

 

[human]

I wrote about two experiences I had with DCF a couple of pages back. Both were shocking to me. The most shocking, and I'll summarize, is when the mother was out of the country to get a boob job and no babysitter or adult showed up for weeks, no electricity in the house and animal feces everywhere, when I called DCF to tell them I had the child and he would be staying with me, they said ok. When I pressed and said would you like my name and address the women said "uh ok" and halfheartedly took my info. I even said to her I could be a child rapist for all you know. The grandmother tried with all she had but was told she had no rights. This kind of stuff has gone on for years in this "upscale" home. We've all called and continue to call. Yet nothing happens. Three children live there. Two of them have been arrested, one of them with an ankle bracelet. The file on that house must be inches thick yet nothing happens.

I really believe the general populations thought process on DCF is that they will let you down and really are no help unless there is blood all over the place. Every state, every income level. Despite some great people who really do care about what their job, they simply cannot function and really help within this defunct system.

Try calling some politicians in your area and describe what is hapoening, Call the police and tell them you are documenting so that if anything happens you have proof that someone called

 

[Scarlett1127]

I am going to ask a question here. You suspect there is something "not right" going on next door.. down the street or maybe in your own family. Things dont add up.. or you know one of the parents is a druggie or whatever.. HONESTLY, what would YOU do? Child looks sad and dirty and ..you fill in the blanks.

Would you call the police? Dcys? You really cant remain anonymous when you call the police..they tape the calls..can see your phone # etc. DCYS isnt very responsive..

Who among us would really call? That is a question we need to honestly think about. We can all wax poetic about the poor abused children, the rotten people in Bella's life who never did anything about the abuse.. but what would WE do? i am a mandatory reporter in my professional capacity.. not sure if being a neighbor, for example, i have to call it in, though. Would you risk a rock through your window, a bullet?

If you see something, say something.. but would you?

Anything i write is just my opinion

Recently from postings I saw on a fb page I felt compelled to get in touch with a local authority over here in the UK regarding a woman who had a young child but had already lost custody of an older child (similar to RB only this woman struggles with mental health issues and not drug addiction as far as I can tell).

Like you say how many of us would call? When I looked to see how I could contact them regarding this no option was anonymous. An online submission required my email and any call to them wasn't anonymous as they said they would log your number to call you more about the situation. While some people might have been comfortable to do that I really didn't feel like I was. As you say anything could happen to you in retaliation and as pathetic as it sounds it did give me pause for thought. This woman had made claims on social media about social workers being a presence in their lives so I thought to myself she is probably already known to them so I won't call. It kept eating away at me so in the end I did get in touch and I was told they were aware of this situation. I didn't have to leave my name because I declined but I'm sure they have my number. I think there should be more guarantee of anonymity when it comes to reporting neglect or abuse because some people do feel threatened from those they are reporting.

 

[wondering25]

I have called in an elder situation. The bar is pretty low. The poor person lived in a lovely home but was obviously suffering from intermittent dementia. The neighbors were kind of "managing" it. The police came. They looked around and left. This is our other big crisis. Children move far from their parents.. our population is now going to be overwhelmed with baby boomers who are old and sick themselves and yet charged with the duty of caring for parents who live into their 90s due to improved medication and healthcare.

In my state they tell you, even if you leave your name, they will not keep you informed whether it is an elderly person or a child.

I could tell you stories about inpatient children psychiatric services.. almost without exception, even when hit or emotionally abused.. even with the state and the police involved.. the kids go home after a week.

Anything I write is just my opinion.

 

[human]

I have called in an elder situation. The bar is pretty low. The poor person lived in a lovely home but was obviously suffering from intermittent dementia. The neighbors were kind of "managing" it. The police came. They looked around and left. This is our other big crisis. Children move far from their parents.. our population is now going to be overwhelmed with baby boomers who are old and sick themselves and yet charged with the duty of caring for parents who live into their 90s due to improved medication and healthcare.

In my state they tell you, even if you leave your name, they will not keep you informed whether it is an elderly person or a child.

I could tell you stories about inpatient children psychiatric services.. almost without exception, even when hit or emotionally abused.. even with the state and the police involved.. the kids go home after a week.

Anything I write is just my opinion.

Really though. Where can they go? There are not enough foster homes so what happens?

 

[watergirl62]

Not sure if this has been brought up.

Here is a summary of Colton's law, which passed earlier this year in Texas. http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2015/07/19/coltons-law-kept-3m-but-not-child-protection-measures/

This was a horrible local tragedy, with several similarities to Bella's story. Colton's aunt pushed to get a bill passed to prevent kids like Colton from falling through the cracks. It passed, but ultimately the bill was diluted significantly by the legislature. Sigh.

There is an active FB page dedicated to Colton's Law. Bella's sweet face is on there too. These poor babies.

 

[wondering25]

Really though. Where can they go? There are not enough foster homes so what happens?

I think it might be time for the Catholic church ( or something similar) to reopen their "orphanages".. yes, i know it is not a perfect solution.. but there would be many people involved, lots of eyes to monitor the situation, charitable people to contribute and , like convalescent homes, there would be stricter regulations and ombudsmen and oversight. Have these facilities be answerable to the Dept. of health like a convalescent home and make the atmosphere as home-like and welcoming as the elder facilities strive to be. We wont have sick, bedridden "clients" and a lot of support staff can be enlisted whether it is salaried or volunteer.

We need to take a second look here.. Boys town worked and continues to work as far as i know..

 

[Katerz]

In regards to calling CPS and whether you would or wouldn't.. Here is my opinion. Off topic of Bella but..

The man who lives across the street from me has a now 15 year old. the 15 year old.. We'll call D.. Has issues. Some mental, mostly behavioral. His father (J) has a girlfriend (N). J's mother (B) lives across the street from him. Anyway.. D is very abusive, both verbally and physically, to N and B. And even gets in his father's face when he is in a mood (as his grandmother calls it). I've witnessed some moods, just never the physical abuse aspect of it as he wont do it when I'm around because he knows I'd whoop his behind. Have I reported it to the police? No. Have I called CPS? no. Why?? Because I'm afraid of the repercussions of calling. There is no being anonymous. I fear that D will end up killing either his grandma or his dad's gf.

But have I called on him? No. Because I am scared of what will happen to me if I do. It's a tough situation to be in. Do I blame RB's friends and neighbors for not calling? No. Because I understand. Do I blame CPS? no. there simply are not enough case workers for each case. Do I blame RB?? Hell yes. Bella was her child. When Bella was born it became RB's DUTY to care for Bella and make sure she was safe.

 

[joypath]

I am going to ask a question here. You suspect there is something "not right" going on next door.. down the street or maybe in your own family. Things dont add up.. or you know one of the parents is a druggie or whatever.. HONESTLY, what would YOU do? Child looks sad and dirty and ..you fill in the blanks.

Would you call the police? Dcys? You really cant remain anonymous when you call the police..they tape the calls..can see your phone # etc. DCYS isnt very responsive..

Who among us would really call? That is a question we need to honestly think about. We can all wax poetic about the poor abused children, the rotten people in Bella's life who never did anything about the abuse.. but what would WE do? i am a mandatory reporter in my professional capacity.. not sure if being a neighbor, for example, i have to call it in, though. Would you risk a rock through your window, a bullet?

If you see something, say something.. but would you?

Anything i write is just my opinion

BBM:

Excellent points! My profession "makes" me a mandated reporter, my position in it's strictest sense doesn't have me interacting with an "at risk" population as my patients have left the trials & tribulations of life BUT it does have me serving as a "watch dog" for others in the patients' society! Fancy words for watch & witness the dynamics AND intervene as needed.

I have questioned & reported both abnormal behaviors toward children & seniors, calling both LE & DCF but I often wonder if the subsequent actions taken are because of my professional interactions with both agencies! Nobody seems to want the OCME on their "bad side" and NOBODY wants me to receive a case where I called for an evaluation BEFORE the individual(s) hit my table! (Can't you just imagine my scathing comments on the autopsy report!!!)

In a situation where one feels that a DCF call is needed, I'd be prone to announce to the DCF worker that my next call is to the local LEO, usually that gives the DCF worker an incentive to evaluate the call immediately. Nope, no every call made results in a "full scale" investigation but a well person check/or drive-by or drop in can happen ASAP.

On another note of this issue......I HAVE noticed that the skill set & educational requirements have changed dramatically in the years I've been in practice. Today an individual can have a title as a "case manager" without an educational background beyond HS! In fact, a local federally funded agency has positioned individuals as case managers without any formalized education or continuing education, just having the system experience as a position prerequisite, rather like a famous medical teaching facility's motto, "See one, Do one, Teach one"!

 

[heartgoesout]

Try calling some politicians in your area and describe what is hapoening, Call the police and tell them you are documenting so that if anything happens you have proof that someone called

Great tip! My latest was calling the township because their grass was about 5 feet high. Now the garage door is hanging by the hinges, broken windows and alcohol glass bottles scatter the lawn.
Awful picture. So many red flags. And in a gorgeous neighborhood. The multitude of people that come and go and live there must help with the high mortgage.
There's only the one teenage son that still lives there. The other two are somewhat old enough to move out.