Importance of women carrying pepper spray, a stun gun, etc.
This may seem OT, but it seems like it could be very related to Vanessa's case.
I'd guess many of you have read about the gruesome story of Kim Wall, the Swedish journalist who it appears was killed by a well-known Danish inventor aboard his submarine. While there is a possibility it could have been an accident that he unwisely (the understatement of the year) tried to cover up, it appears more likely that he killed her. Two reasons are being bandied about: 1. He made advances and she rebuffed him and he went berserk (there is no shortage of narcissistic men who don't take romantic rejection well); or 2. Something she was going to write set him off. Folks who have dealt with him are saying that he’s quite volatile in general and particularly s in such circumstances. (Though I'd doubt that she'd tell him if she was going to write something not so flattering, especially while alone with him. Besides, most journalist don’t work that way – one needs to let things saunter…
Anyway, the common denominator with what happened with Vanessa (and WAY too many other women): A woman alone with a male stranger in a remote area ends up dead. Again, we can't be sure what happened with Kim yet -- and we may not ever know.
The bottom line is that women should always carry something like pepper spray or a stun gun on them when they will be or could be in a remote area. Having a weapon *might* have saved them both. Having a weapon plus being more aware that there are bad men even in nice areas would *probably* have saved Vanessa, IMO.
I hope all of you woman will make sure to carry something on you whenever you expect to be in a remote area (or any area for that matter, it's as easy as pie to slip pepper spray into one's pant pocket, jacket pocket, or pocketbook). For the men out there, I hope you will encourage your female relatives and friends to do the same -- heck, buy it for them -- it's the best $10-$15 you could spend on someone you care about.
AO might have gotten me, too, when I was in my 20s -- at least my young 20s/college aged. However, soon after that, his charade would not have worked with me. At some point, I began turning around when I see a man -- any man -- I do not recognize ahead on my running/walking path when there is nobody else around. (Same holds true of a two men together.) I'd also have my pepper spray – now in my hand -- in case he started after me as I turned around. This isn't to blame Vanessa at all. I, too, was a very bright 20-something who worked in a big city, etc., and didn’t have pepper spray until I was 27ish. (A thoughtful male colleague bought one for me and the other young women who worked in his department within a skyscraper in a big city, as there was a series of rapes of young women in parking garages in the very nice area of the city where I worked. Some of them occurred in broad daylight, if I recall.) Moreover, I didn’t carry my mace with me while running until sometime after that. With age comes the realization that a woman must consider
any teen/adult male stranger in a remote area a potential attacker if she wants to be safe. Unfortunately, this becomes more clear with age, but younger women are those ones most in need of this message because attackers usually target younger women.
I hope all of you will teach this lesson to your daughters, sisters, etc. This is a lesson that can be taught without scaring them. Realizing this truth doesn't make one feel like a potential victim. Quite the contrary, it feels empowering to have pepper spray (or something that helps equalize or at least narrow the strength differential between men and women) on you. At least, that’s how I feel and I’ve heard from other women who carry pepper spray or a stun gun on them at times that they feel the same way.
Yes, this is a topic I feel passionate about because at least some of the horrendous crimes against women could be prevented or at least lessened in severity.
