MI - 13-year old girl stabs 7-year old sister to death - September 28, 2024

[SMK777]

I can't imagine how devastated the parents must be. If my older child had stabbed my younger child to death, then I am grieving that loss but still have to try and help my older child through that ? What a stress on that marriage too. My prayers go out to them.

ETA: I can totally understand why they might not be ready for the older child to come home. I'd be so angry and hurt if I was in that position. And profoundly sad.

It’s a horrifying position for them to be in, and since they never saw it coming, they must feel like they’re in a nightmare they can’t wake up from. I hope they receive some counseling and support because they are really going to need it.

 

[katydid23]

The impression I got from doing a little fb search for Jessie Jane's name would be angry (understandably) and also done. But that's just my opinion from reading some posts.

That would probably be my first impulse----I'd be so angry at the offending child. How hard it might be to forgive them easily for such a brutal action.

 

[sunspun]

That would probably be my first impulse----I'd be so angry at the offending child. How hard it might be to forgive them easily for such a brutal action.

Yes, it would be really hard when it's true that society in general might not blame you for not being able to forgive her, and that there are legitimate options set up for you to essentially give her up (like let her finish growing up in a state girls' home, for example). You're allowed to basically disown her and start over again. Everyone would understand. It could be as close as you could get to as if it never happened. It would be tempting, hard to resist that available option, in your pain and sorrow. That's probably why the stats on divorce are so high among couples who suffer the loss of a child. So much that reminds you of your loss. I don't know, maybe it is a better idea to not let her go back home. But that's a solution for the parents' sake, not hers. For her, that would probably make her turn out worse in the end. I truly wouldn't know what to do.

 

[Kemug]

There's been a lot of discussion here about baby-sitting. Was it really baby-sitting though? Wasn't it more like "We're just popping out for a while, now you two behave yourselves"? At least that's how it was in "my day"

 

[katydid23]

There's been a lot of discussion here about baby-sitting. Was it really baby-sitting though? Wasn't it more like "We're just popping out for a while, now you two behave yourselves"? At least that's how it was in "my day"

When my son was 12, he'd watch his 8 yr old sister at home, while I did errands sometimes. They usually wanted to stay home instead of being dragged to do boring errands after school. The rules were they needed to stay home and couldn't have any friends over until I returned. It never occurred to me that they would have a physical fight while I was gone.

 

[sassyblue]

I was often left in charge of my younger siblings from age 11 and on. When I was 13 a tornado came thru and my parents were on one side of the major path of destruction and us 4 kids on the other side. But I had known from a young age what to do in a tornado and kept my siblings safe.

My mom was a sobbing mess by the time they finally made it home that day. She would not leave us alone at home for a couple of years after that.

So I keep thinking about that tornado day while thinking about this case and I just can't even begin to grasp the horror those parents walked into on their return home. I just don't even know how you would begin to heal or even manage to live a normal life after such an unbelievable, devastating event such as that.

 

[SMK777]

I was often left in charge of my younger siblings from age 11 and on. When I was 13 a tornado came thru and my parents were on one side of the major path of destruction and us 4 kids on the other side. But I had known from a young age what to do in a tornado and kept my siblings safe.

My mom was a sobbing mess by the time they finally made it home that day. She would not leave us alone at home for a couple of years after that.

So I keep thinking about that tornado day while thinking about this case and I just can't even begin to grasp the horror those parents walked into on their return home. I just don't even know how you would begin to heal or even manage to live a normal life after such an unbelievable, devastating event such as that.

I don’t either. It’s not something you could ever get over or make peace with.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

it would be really hard when it's true that society in general might not blame you for not being able to forgive her, and that there are legitimate options set up for you to essentially give her up (like let her finish growing up in a state girls' home, for example). You're allowed to basically disown her and start over again. Everyone would understand.

Respectfully disagree. I have kids of similar age. I think most people would not completely disown their 13-year-old, even after something like this. It might take time, but they would still want a relationship. I think I would be flipping out blaming myself and husband (along with some anger toward the 13.y.o.) but would definitely eventually visit my 13-year-old wherever he ended up and taking a role in making sure he received major help.

 

[SMK777]

Respectfully disagree. I have kids of similar age. I think most people would not completely disown their 13-year-old, even after something like this. It might take time, but they would still want a relationship. I think I would be flipping out blaming myself and husband (along with some anger toward the 13.y.o.) but would definitely eventually visit my 13-year-old wherever he ended up and taking a role in making sure he received major help.

Agreed.

 

[seasideForest]

There's been a lot of discussion here about baby-sitting. Was it really baby-sitting though? Wasn't it more like "We're just popping out for a while, now you two behave yourselves"? At least that's how it was in "my day"

I think that might depend on the age difference between the oldest child and the rest. You would probably leave either a 13 yo or an 11 yo at home alone at least in the daytime. Would you leave a 7 yo on their own? If not, the elder child is babysitting imo.

We didn't have adult babysitters too often, my parents thought we were well capable on our own. We weren't unfortunately due to bullying from eldest sib especially towards me, especially with fists etc. I'd err on the safe side with leaving children alone, they're not always as well-behaved as parents think or as brave. We were sometimes frightened when it was dark outside.

 

[SMK777]

I think that might depend on the age difference between the oldest child and the rest. You would probably leave either a 13 yo or an 11 yo at home alone at least in the daytime. Would you leave a 7 yo on their own? If not, the elder child is babysitting imo.

We didn't have adult babysitters too often, my parents thought we were well capable on our own. We weren't unfortunately due to bullying from eldest sib especially towards me, especially with fists etc. I'd err on the safe side with leaving children alone, they're not always as well-behaved as parents think or as brave. We were sometimes frightened when it was dark outside.

Yes, back in the early ‘70s my sisters and I would be left alone as the oldest of us was 12-13. Things were not always as great as our parents assumed, and there actually was an incident where our fighting was so loud that an older neighbor woman complained later to my parents about it.

 

[Rolypolyoly]

When my son was 12, he'd watch his 8 yr old sister at home, while I did errands sometimes. They usually wanted to stay home instead of being dragged to do boring errands after school. The rules were c needed to stay home and couldn't have any friends over until I returned. It never occurred to me that they would have a physical fight while I was gone.

There's 4 years between my eldest 2 boys too and I never would have been concerned about them fighting, mostly because natter how hard the younger one tried the older one wouldn't be drawn in, but I did have to expressly forbid any wrestling moves as both loved WWE and would happily try out pile drivers and clothes lines if you didn't catch them in time

 

[Laura456]

I think that might depend on the age difference between the oldest child and the rest. You would probably leave either a 13 yo or an 11 yo at home alone at least in the daytime. Would you leave a 7 yo on their own? If not, the elder child is babysitting imo.

We didn't have adult babysitters too often, my parents thought we were well capable on our own. We weren't unfortunately due to bullying from eldest sib especially towards me, especially with fists etc. I'd err on the safe side with leaving children alone, they're not always as well-behaved as parents think or as brave. We were sometimes frightened when it was dark outside.

I grew up in Eastern Europe and I was left alone at 7 for several hours at a time, I was fine but I wouldn't do that to my own child.

 

[GoBuckeyes]

Fair enough if there was a mental health issue, but I wonder what it would be and whether there were any prior symptoms or red flags.

And just because someone may suffer from a mental health issue, certainly doesn't mean they are not responsible for their actions. Usually, they are.

 

[GoBuckeyes]

Respectfully disagree. I have kids of similar age. I think most people would not completely disown their 13-year-old, even after something like this. It might take time, but they would still want a relationship. I think I would be flipping out blaming myself and husband (along with some anger toward the 13.y.o.) but would definitely eventually visit my 13-year-old wherever he ended up and taking a role in making sure he received major help.

I think for most people it would depend on the relationship they had with the 13 y.o., prior to the her stabbing her young sister 10 times with a large knife.

 

[Dotta]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1843906398230401072

 

[Trebor5591]

Bbm.
That is certainly true.
However, if the perp is released in a few years, I wouldn't want her anywhere near me or mine.
This attack sounded pretty calculated and beyond vicious.
Omo.

She murdered her sister, in a horrible way. It sounds like she is already a danger to society. I can imagine this will only get worse as she gets older. IMO

 

[Dotta]

I guess
jealousy was stewing for a long time.

The little girl seemed sweet, cuddly and possibly a favourite child.

PS
I'm not sure who left a "toilet flushing" note

Small children (even 7 year olds) notoriously forget to do it.
As a teacher, I should know

I guess it was a teen who left it.
(And then flew into rage when the toilet was not flushed.)

Because why should a little girl remind adults and a teen to perform such an obvious task?

I suspect serious communication problems in the family.

RIP to the victim

JMO

 

[SMK777]

I guess
jealousy was stewing for a long time.

The little girl seemed sweet, cuddly and possibly a favourite child.

PS
I'm not sure who left a "toilet flushing" note

Small children (even 7 year olds) notoriously forget to do it.
As a teacher, I should know

I guess it was a teen who left it.
(And then flew into rage when the toilet was not flushed.)

Because why should a little girl remind adults and a teen to perform such an obvious task?

I suspect serious communication problems in the family.

RIP to the victim

JMO

I had originally thought that the 7 year old left the toilet flushing note and the 13 year old got offended, but now that you mention it, maybe it was the other way around!

Yes, the 7 year old seems to have been the cuddled one and jealousy may have been brewing.

Tragic all around, and it’s too bad it couldn’t have been avoided, but the parents claim there were no red flags and that the 13 year old had never been in therapy and never been in any kind of trouble at school or elsewhere.

But yes, communication problems had to have been part of the dynamic which broke down horribly.

 

[Dotta]

Tragic all around, and it’s too bad it couldn’t have been avoided, but the parents claim there were no red flags and that the 13 year old had never been in therapy and never been in any kind of trouble at school or elsewhere.

But yes, communication problems had to have been part of the dynamic which broke down horribly.

Hmmm...
I remember you wrote upthread about "being in denial".
Agree 100%

JMO