Missouri Man Denied Adoption Because Of His Weight

[Marstan]

"A Missouri man claims he's being discriminated against due to his weight, according to MyFoxKC.com.
Gary Stocklaufer said he and his wife, Cynthia, were asked to adopt Gary's cousin's 3-month-old son because the relative couldn't care for the boy anymore."

Please remember this says it is Mr. S's opinion on why the adoption was denied. I cannot imagine that this denial, if appealed, would be overturned in the Appelate Court of his state.

That being said, there is probably more to it than we know (as another poster has stated). I won't get into the smoking/non-smoking, fat/thin issue, been there done that and it sucks equally for each different person.

Hopefully Mr. S's attorney is smart enough to realize that this is or is not the case - the appeal will seal the deal and I believe they have 30 days in which to make the appeal, which if done fast enough could prevent the child from being removed from their home, unless the child is not safe. JMOO

PS I worked as a CASA for five years and one couple was pretty big that were foster parents for a group home - I can't say enough about how good they were to the children in their care, they were fantastic. We need more people like them.

 

[txsvicki]

My husband is half dead and CPS still placed 4 kids with us and wanted us to adopt them. I know a man who is an elderly foster dad with one lung. He got lung cancer the first week he started foster parenting with his wife. If social services will place kids with ill and elderly relatives and foster parents, then by george a relative should be allowed to adopt a relative if it is agreed on by the family, especially if he already adopted one child and passed criminal checks. I'd like to know if the man passed a family study before this went to the judge. I would think that a person would have to pass one of those before even getting in front of a judge. Like I said, the cousin can't care for this baby, and this man and his wife will most likely be raising the child anyway. Maybe this judge wants the baby to go to strangers and never see his biological family or ever get to occasionally visit with his parents.

 

[southcitymom]

My husband is half dead and CPS still placed 4 kids with us and wanted us to adopt them. I know a man who is an elderly foster dad with one lung. He got lung cancer the first week he started foster parenting with his wife. If social services will place kids with ill and elderly relatives and foster parents, then by george a relative should be allowed to adopt a relative if it is agreed on by the family, especially if he already adopted one child and passed criminal checks. I'd like to know if the man passed a family study before this went to the judge. I would think that a person would have to pass one of those before even getting in front of a judge. Like I said, the cousin can't care for this baby, and this man and his wife will most likely be raising the child anyway. Maybe this judge wants the baby to go to strangers and never see his biological family or ever get to occasionally visit with his parents.

txsvicki,

I don't know why, but that first line made me chuckle. I hope your husband is okay, though, and I think it's awesome what y'all do for kids in need!

SCM

 

[deanws]

This is realllllly ridiculous. The man is family, the baby needs parents, and the man has a wife who also can take care of this baby and be it's mom. If they aren't allowed to adopt, they could still be raising the child anyway, and if he does die due to his weight or even in some accident while out on the road, the wife won't even be able to collect social security benefits for the child.

TX and South...I agree with you both. It sounds like this judge is not considering the whole picture. The family loves the baby or they would not consider taking over as his parents. Some things in life seem so unfair!

 

[deanws]

The problem is,this guy is a failure in life--He is hardly a good role model and that recent study shows the more fat people in the house,the higher chance everybody will gain weight--At 500 pounds, to put it indelicately, this guy can't even wipe himself after a bowel movement--The Judge did the right thing

Give me a break Peter! To say he is a failure because he has a problem THAT HE IS ADDRESSING is totally unfair.:furious:

 

[deanws]

A loser in life because he's obese? Hardly. This guy has a wife, a job, a son he plays with. Doesn't sound like a loser to me...."Fat" is the new thing to openly discrimnate again - and it's total BS.

You go sister!!!!:blowkiss: It IS BS!

 

[sherri79]

i would think judging people based on their weight would make you a failure in life. i would hope a child raised in a home with people who love you no matter your size would come out better than a child raised to look down on others. the values this family can teach this child out weigh the risk imo.

 

[Tristan]

The problem is,this guy is a failure in life--He is hardly a good role model and that recent study shows the more fat people in the house,the higher chance everybody will gain weight--At 500 pounds, to put it indelicately, this guy can't even wipe himself after a bowel movement--The Judge did the right thing

Wow! That was really mean. Being fat doesn't make one a failure at life.
I usually agree with much of what Peter Hamilton says, but this was just over the line.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

The judge is an @zz. IMO (waiting on the judge gods to come down and hit me with a gavel at any moment now.)

 

[kazzbar]

I think the guys weight is of little issue if he is working and providing. Now if he was flat on his back on oxygen and Kentucky Fried Chicken all day it would be.... yep, give the kid to a skinny parent because we all know that a 'skinny' parent will not die of cancer, heart disease or be run over by a truck...
What a stupid ruling this is...
A kick up the harse is needed for this judge..

 

[wildTrose]

The man is a truck driver, therefore his wife is the one who will be with the child probably 90% of the time, nothing was mentioned about her in the denial of adoption.
the judge should be happy someone stepped up and wanted to give this child a home and pay of it instead of the baby becoming a ward of the state and living its life growing up in foster care, or worse the momma keeps it and sells it or kills it!
they are alot more lenient on foster homes then adoptees, yes you have to be approved but when cps takes a child from their families and puts them in a foster home, they dont always go to a good one, their main role is to stick the kid somewhere....they can always move them again, and again, and again....etc
This baby has a chance of a normal life with this couple, if the man passes he will still have a momma. If this baby had be born to this couple the same thing could have happened!
I hope they appeal or at least ask for another judge.....if there is no other judge then have the adoption delayed one year and give the man a chance to loose more weight if it truly is an issue!

 

[SewingDeb]

I like the idea of giving him a year to lose weight. It would be a real incentive and spur him on. He has already lost 35 pounds so I believe he could do it.

If not, I hope his wife has a lot of life insurance on him. That probably sounds cold, but it would help her care for the children left behind.

 

[Gina_M]

I think this guy could be a great parent to this baby. They see his weight as such a big risk, but the thing is, you just never know what might happen. I have a friend who was adopted, but then his adoptive parents divorced. Could the judge have predicted that? This judge should give the guy a chance.

 

[SewingDeb]

I wish someone would link this man with the one in this article for inspiration:

Man Loses 340 Pounds To Save Life, Family

http://www.newsnet5.com/health/2827445/detail.html

 

[SewingDeb]

I think this guy could be a great parent to this baby. They see his weight as such a big risk, but the thing is, you just never know what might happen. I have a friend who was adopted, but then his adoptive parents divorced. Could the judge have predicted that? This judge should give the guy a chance.

You are so right Gina. My ex husband and I adopted and later divorced. I didn't see it coming. None of us know the future.

 

[Peter Hamilton]

Here's an update on this story from MSNBC: Today this 500 pound guy is undergoing gastric-bypass surgery(for free) in order to lose hundreds of pounds--well done I say and the Judge wil nowl allow him to adopt after he gets the surgery--so we have a happy ending here apparently

 

[Jeana (DP)]

A Missouri man claims he's being discriminated against due to his weight, according to MyFoxKC.com.
Gary Stocklaufer said he and his wife, Cynthia, were asked to adopt Gary's cousin's 3-month-old son because the relative couldn't care for the boy anymore. But a judge — the same judge who approved Gary's adoption of his now 7-year-old son — denied the adoption on the grounds of Gary's weight, Stocklaufer said.
Stocklaufer said he weighs roughly 500 pounds — though he's lost 35 and is working to lose more — and that his weight hasn't stopped him from working as a truck driver or playing with his son.
The couple said their attorney has filed a motion for a new hearing.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,290849,00.html


This sounds very prejudicial to me. I agree this man is severly over-weight and it is certain to cause health issues eventually if he maintains that weight, BUT he did say he's lost weight and is continuing to do so. If his weight is not interfering with everyday tasks, like working and playing with his son, then why would anyone think he would be unable to care for a baby?

Sorry. I agree with the decision.

 

[SewingDeb]

Here's an update on this story from MSNBC: Today this 500 pound guy is undergoing gastric-bypass surgery(for free) in order to lose hundreds of pounds--well done I say and the Judge wil nowl allow him to adopt after he gets the surgery--so we have a happy ending here apparently

Great! It's a win-win situation.

 

[SadieMae]

Sorry. I agree with the decision.

You do? I agree his weight is a health issue, but if a judge can deny him adopting because of that, what next? Denying adoptions because a parent is diabetic, epileptic, an amputee, or has some physical deformity? Even at 500#'s he's employed and has already adopted a child and is a good parent. I would rather see the child go to him than be put in the foster care system.

There are way too many cases of children of "able bodied", normal weight parents that are horribly mistreated and killed. I don't think a parents appearance has anything to do with their ability to parent a child.

I am happy he's getting bypass surgery and wish him the best.

 

[txsvicki]

I hope this man really truly wants this surgery and isn't just doing it in order to lose lots of weight in one year. What if there are complications and he's no longer able to eat correctly or be able to work. The fact that he's doing this ought to show the judge how far he is willing to go to take this baby.