debs
Former Member
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We studied KC and others as a sociopath, liar etc...........
Now we should look close at Misty, plus bring in molestation (IF IT HAPPENED)
and being on her own since she was 14?
any shrinks here???
Misty isn't a sociopath. The sexual abuse isn't alleged; a man is serving time in prison for having molested her. She states that her cousin (the one who was there visiting) also molested her. She has been living virtually on her own since she was 14. She has relationships with older men. She has now married her latest "older man" for reasons as yet really clear, but most agree that because they "truly love one another" is not among the reasons.
Misty's life has been one of victimization. She was preyed upon by adults in her life, and even family members around her own age. She was devalued early on. Her survival technique has been to transform the commodity that predators wanted from her (her body) into her only asset. She looks for "love" and finds quickly that it really is just about being a throw-away again and again. I would bet that before she met Ron, she'd had quite a few throw away relationships. Ron would look like a hero to her and any verbal abuse we've witnessed will hardly register in someone whose value has been so reduced already.
She does not like competition and would more than likely be aggressive to protect what she sees as her own. She smokes (a sign that she's tough). She is street smart and book dumb. There are rules in her life that the rest of us thankfully don't typically know. Sex isn't a problem, it's a pattern. People got what they wanted off her body for years, she's in control now and gives it (though it ends up still to older men who in the eyes of the law would be committing a crime). Her family support is not that of a protective mother and father. Her mother is more than happy to sign over her daughter to Ron and Misty views this as a loving act. Misty gets her man and her mother gets rid of a responsibility she never stepped up to anyway. How it is that Misty convinced Ron that this was the time to get married is beyond me, but she certainly had EVERYONE'S support (at least in the family): TN, her own mother, GGMA. Her recently very sick father even walked her down the aisle. Maybe Ron really IS the hero and was rescuing Misty from a family that was so happy to throw her to anyone and he figures at least with him her life will be a little more stable. I'll hope that's what it is. But.
As to whether Misty had anything to do with Haleigh's disappearance, I can only come up with one angle for a motive: competition. Haleigh is no doubt at about the age when Misty's own molestation began. We all see how much Ron loves his daughter (no, I am not implying he was molesting his daughter; far from it.) and how much she loves him too. No one denies that Haleigh was the center of his universe. Well, with Misty's background, there really is no room for sharing that, and especially with someone that close to HER only "protector."
Could she have arranged to give Haleigh off to one of the predators she knows in order to have Ron to herself, figuring she survived it and so will Haleigh? That's a sick but very real possibility but one that cannot be dismissed. Misty is a survivor, that is for sure. But surviving is not living, and being a victim is no way of life. She IS a victim of molestation, and I doubt very sincerely she has ever dealt with it, instead taking it as a natural course of events. We can see she has no problem now that she's in control of her life in putting herself into relationships where she can be victimized again. Now she's got her man, she could think she no longer has to be the victim, and in order to assure that, someone else has to be.
All this is speculation. The only facts are that Misty is a throwaway teenager who has been on her own for 3 years, who moved in with a man with two children (maybe 3) whose own parents signed off on her life legally so she could marry this man, whose early victimization resulted in at least one arrest for her rapist, but certainly doesn't address others. She is a victim of incest (she says her cousin did things to her). There appears to have never been any counseling to show her that she has a value as a person beyond her body. She lost any innocence or belief in "older men don't go after young girls" and firmly demonstrates that because older men DO go after her that it means she's got something women the men's age don't. When Misty talks about Haleigh wanting to be "just like her" and going so far as to say they got similar outfits, shoes, wanted to do their hair the same way, I get a distinct queasy feeling in my stomach. What else could Misty think is okay to teach Haleigh then in order to be just like her.
Anyway that's my armchair analysis, neither in depth nor with any credentials. I am not making any allegations that any of this is fact (beyond what I have stated specifically as being so). However, I am also not attempting to start a rumor. Patterns of human sexual molestation are pervasive in our society and the victims OFTEN become a victimizer, viewing it in a way that "normal" people wouldn't: I survived, so will they. It is simple and it gives them some legitimization that what they went through is "normal and okay" when in fact, it is not.
Survivors and victims are not all like this and many many many many overcome their own abuse and go on to not only change their lives for the better but become advocates for children. They are to be heralded and supported. But there are those who perpetuate the abuse, and this possibility should at least be explored. That is not to say it is what happened in this case.