https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/plantqueen23/142277859993
"I always get a little emotional and nostalgic on my birthday. I feel like it’s a good time to take the opportunity to appreciate how far I’ve come and how many things I’ve accomplished in the last year, as well as seeing how I’ve better shaped myself as a person and how fortunate I am to be living the life I do.
If you think about it, all of us are so lucky to be here and living right now. There’s always that existential crisis we all have when we realize that, in the context of all of space and time and history, we are essentially meaningless. We are so small compared to this earth, our solar system, galaxy, and beyond. But what makes us so special and lucky is that, to our best knowledge, we are the only creatures that are capable of feeling this raw of emotion and empathy. Think of when you’re the happiest. That moment may be utterly minuscule, yet it’s everything to you. The fact that we are able to experience such ecstasy during that one blink of an eye in all of time is so so so incredible.
I’ve been through a lot in the last year. I went to a ton of amazing cities and festivals and met so many awesome people in music. However, about a month from now a year ago my life really started to turn ******. I had no friends in my hometown and I hated school and I wanted to leave so bad and I felt like no one believed in me and every step forward was two steps back. I remember working at the hotel at this time last year and spending every night looking for colleges and apartments and exploring my options. When I decided I wanted to move my parents were doing everything they could to get me to stay. I lost my good paying hotel job and had to work at the YMCA again.
I had no help and the money wasn’t good enough so I turned to selling drugs in attempt to make money to move faster. Fast forward to October. I’m three months past when I expected to move. I was behind on money. I wasn’t in school. I was very unhappy. I was pulled over with six grams of MDMA and 30 hits of LSD in my car. I prefer not to talk about the rest of this experience, but it’s an absolute ****ing miracle that I’m not in prison right now. My life was almost completely ruined and I had to hide for the remainder of my time in Wichita.
About a month later I moved to Kansas City. Everything has done a complete 180. I have three jobs. I’m in school. I have a new car. I have a loft downtown. I travel and write media for festivals. It’s absolutely crazy to me that only a year ago I was just beginning to formulate the idea of being here in my head. I’m absolutely ecstatic with the way my life is going and I only plan on more awesome things to come. I have a new sense of empathy and gratefulness for life.
I’m so fortunate to be here living the life that I do."
Posted April 14, 2016 on her Tumblr account.
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