April, you are singing a familiar tune to me! My thots however, given my personal exp with bpd, are that it is Cindy who has the disorder. I felt this way from very early on as she reminds me of my mother who has bpd.
There are some narcicisstic traits that go along with the disorder and a preoccupation with getting ones needs met. In my family, my mother would feign suicide attempts and call the local psyche unit to report she was having a nervous breakdown. These episodes occured as we were growing from extensions of her, to our own persons and hence the temper tantrum because she could no longer manipulate us. In social circles she is loved, is a bit of a rescuer, high energy, helpful. But in the home there are bouts of rage and anger and emotional manipulation.
We were 4 kids, all grown now, and our family is a mess. The eldest, my brother, is a compulsive liar. You can't confront him or he becomes enraged, veins stick out, he gets loud, can't reason with him. He believes his own lies.
The second eldest brother is the comedian...emotional disconnected but harmless. Then there's me. I was the scapegoat until my baby sister rebelled and left home, then I was the chosen one, now I am probably just all bad. My younger sister was the princess.
I have 3 children. I experienced post-partum depression after each birth that got exponentially worse. The last one put me on meds and therapy and I realize that I am the product of a borderline mother and was carrying her burden for her. I struggle daily with feelings of wanting so badly to coddle her to feeling like I need to be released.
Recently my father developed altzheimer's and my mother started physically abusing him...hitting, punching, pushing, verbal abuse. I hit a brick wall here. I felt like I had lived through this once and I couldn't do it again, so I disengaged from my family. No one has attempted to contact me in over 3 years. They have all fallen in line with the mother. There is much animosity from my younger sister towards me, we may never speak again.
All this to say, in my case, is that the borderline mother produced children with personality disorders including one with compulsive lying, depression, and perhaps another bpd (my sister?) Perhaps one with bpd could produce a sociopath because a child just cannot be the container of all the parents emotions, anger, and needs. Just a thot. You never really know what goes on behind closed doors.
I have good days and bad days, but being the product of a borderline parent has made me acutely aware of being a better parent myself. Thanks for your post, all my best to you.
- let it go. People are ignorant. People tend to judge others so quickly. 
