Nancy Cooper, 34, of Cary, N.C. #27

[raisincharlie]

Having taken more time to review the ADA's motion to quash, hmmmmm. K & B should be careful what they ask for. ADA Cummings is apparently open for the judge to conduct an in camera inspection of the investigative files.

I don't think K & B really wants the judge to be able to see those files before ruling. OUCH.

 

[RaleighNC]

Upon scrutiny, Ms. Ball's actions appear inconsistent. A clear thinking, emotionally stable person does not agree to cohabit with and subsequently become engaged to someone who is emotionally abusive. If someone is emotionally abusing you, you immediately restrict contact, terminate the relationship, seek counseling, and/or report the abuse to a third party. Were any of these done "throughout the relationship"?
Snip

Well - you sure have it all figured out, don'tcha?

People are not robots - there are not set and singular reactions to every action. Emotions are involved. We're inconsistent creatures!

It's not "simple" like reporting a mugging or a street fight. And it's behind closed doors. Words don't leave a mark - so what do you do - report emotional abuse? to whom?


Skepticism is fine - categorizing anyone who has suffered emotional or physical abuse as somehow "flawed" (i.e. not a clear thinking or emotionally stable person) or that you can sit outside and pass judgment on what "should have" been done is really, really ugly.

 

[Bob&Bob]

Regarding the name:

At least he remembered her first name.

The 2-3 year person he couldn't remember,
he didn't remember the first or last name.

I don't think the name thing is that important.

 

[SleuthyGal]

Wonder what witnesses K&B have compelled to sit for depositions that we are unaware of... (item #23 in the Motion to Quash)

Good catch RC...can you imagine if the judge opts for Door #2?

 

[ncsu95]

It may even be she has been following the case like we have been and read all the affidavits of others and drew on the same pattern of behavior to highlight.

It seems when the friend from Calgary informed her her name was dropped (albeit BC botched her prior last name -- he really may have as he forgot his nephews name) then she decided to go on record with her story. I can only imagine how many times she has thought to herself, "that could have been me and I'm so sorry it was NC."


Fishing Trip

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/3734923/

From the article:

Responding to three subpoenas from Cooper's attorneys for Cary police to turn over all evidence in the murder case, Assistant District Attorney Howard Cummings said in a motion to quash that the request is "not for the purpose of showing his fitness and suitability as a custodial parent of his minor children."


This is BS. How can it not be for the purpose of showing his fitness as a parent, when the judge has indicated she will use this very thing to determine his fitness. This is crap. The CPD got involved in the custody case, so they need to provide the information.

 

[RKAB]

I don't think the name thing is that important.

Maybe it's not critically important but I definately think it shows deceit. He couldn't remember the names of people he'd had intimate, long term relationships with but could pull out the names of two "high school friends" who he really wasn't close with. One of the people he named, he would have known through one of his ex's - not on his own, and probably has not talked to him since he moved to Calgary in the early 90's. I'm pretty sure he didn't strike up a friendship all on his own with the other guy that he named either - that was probably a friend-of-a-friend and he just went out with them at times. Not anyone he called up and they went out on their own.

I think he has a very selective memory and he deliberately tried to mislead.

 

[Bob&Bob]

Maybe it's not critically important but I definately think it shows deceit.
<snip>.....

I think he has a very selective memory and he deliberately tried to mislead.

Well I just talked with someone who lived with someone
more than 10 years ago and he didn't remember her
last name. He barely remembered her first name.

 

[MoonFlwr]

No one starts out like a complete jerk. The early part of the relationship is GOOD. In fact, usually the extra attention of someone that is controlling is "flattering" - and it's that honeymoon part of the relationship that you WANT to spend all the time together anyway - so it's looked at as commitment.

Then - there's an argument, usually followed by a huge flourish for the make up part - flowers, dinner, sincere apology. Also apparently sincere.

No one says these abusers are not charming - they are. In a way, they are relationship scam artists. Scam artists get away with things because they earn trust, because they are "likable" and emotional abusers are the same.

they don't start out calling you a (fill in the blank here) it happens gradually. And over the course of that time, they've slowly isolated you from your friends (and of course - you were somewhat willing in the beginning) and really dinged your confidence. There HAS to be some personality trait of these women, too - perhaps another form of perfectionism ("I can make this work" or something), but when it happens, it's a perfect storm.

So - someone being emotionally abusive, and having long term relationships is not exclusive. We haven't found a way to either make them wear a t-shirt or be branded - so it's not always easy to spot them because they can be quite charming, especially at first.

Great post!

(Sorry about delayed response - it's a time zone thing!)

 

[runr]

Source: healthyplace.com
(a referral source for people in emotionally unhealthy relationships)

Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical or sexual abuse and sometimes even more so because the damage is so deep and all encompassing.

When you are hit, the pain will subside a lot faster than emotional abuse, which continues to go around and around in your head endlessly. There is nothing worse you can do to a person than make them doubt their sanity or their perceptions.

Emotional abuse damages your self-esteem and sense of self to such a degree that many women are unable to leave the situation for fear they cannot make it on their own. If you are told every day that you are stupid, that no one else will ever want you, that you are making things up you will not have the strength and courage to believe in yourself. Soon you'll feel like the only option you have is to stay with this abusive person.

(more on this topic when the server stops locking up)

 

[RKAB]

Well I just talked with someone who lived with someone
more than 10 years ago and he didn't remember her
last name. He barely remembered her first name.

Hmmmm....his name wasn't Brad was it? :crazy: Just kidding.

Seriously though, I knew you'd know someone who couldn't remember someone's name. I'm sure it's more common than I think it is. Let's agree to disagree.

 

[raisincharlie]

Wonder what witnesses K&B have compelled to sit for depositions that we are unaware of... (item #23 in the Motion to Quash)

Good catch RC...can you imagine if the judge opts for Door #2?

They better hope the judge doesn't opt for Door 2 ! K & B doesn't get to peek behind door 2.

As to the depositions, I would think the majority of those who gave an affidavit for Tharrington Smith. To me the most important aspect of that comment is that the ADA said the depositions were used to ascertain what those people told LE - not Tharrington Smith, but what they said to LE, and the ADA knows this - holy cow!

 

[Bob&Bob]

Hmmmm....his name wasn't Brad was it? :crazy: Just kidding.

Seriously though, I knew you'd know someone who couldn't remember someone's name. I'm sure it's more common than I think it is. Let's agree to disagree.

Hmmm...I wonder how you'd know that?

<---laughing

Anyway, I'd love to agree to disagree with you.
Expecially since we're all so agreeable here

 

[jmflu]

I was just wondering... how many watched all the depositions and made notes?

 

[raisincharlie]

A hearing on the issue of the three subpeona's is set for Wednesday at 2pm. Should be interesting, sure are tying up a lot of the court's time.

 

[Bob&Bob]

I was just wondering... how many watched all the depositions and made notes?

I thought we were supposed to?

Isn't that what the lady said on here before we
got started?

 

[Skittles]

Ms. Ball states she decided to end the relationship, but as I understand BC's statements in his deposition, he left to be with NC. Objectively determining who ended a particular relationship is often difficult, as I am sure we have all experienced in other situations.

Ummm...... in his deposition Brad stated that JWB was his most recent relationship prior to Nancy, that Nancy asked him out three times, and he turned her down the first two times because:

I had just gotten out of a relationship and I didn't want to get into another one at that time.

Could you explain how you derived your interpretation that he left JWB for Nancy?

 

[jilly]

Oh, and I'm also insanely jealous of her moving from Calgary to Hawaii!! As we get ready for yet another miserable winter, she'll have beautiful weather! Lucky!

Hey! At least you get those chinooks!:crazy:Lucky!:crazy: I get what you're saying though!

 

[ncnative]

Maybe it's not critically important but I definately think it shows deceit. He couldn't remember the names of people he'd had intimate, long term relationships with but could pull out the names of two "high school friends" who he really wasn't close with. One of the people he named, he would have known through one of his ex's - not on his own, and probably has not talked to him since he moved to Calgary in the early 90's. I'm pretty sure he didn't strike up a friendship all on his own with the other guy that he named either - that was probably a friend-of-a-friend and he just went out with them at times. Not anyone he called up and they went out on their own.

I think he has a very selective memory and he deliberately tried to mislead.

:clap::clap:I agree with you RKAB. I've already commented several times that Brad Cooper has Selective CRS. If they don't have that diagnosis in your area, it's Selective Can't Remember Sh_t. :shakehead:He is playing a game with his "I don't recall" answers and his selective "memory problems". I bet he could spout off his Ironman qualifications, or his work related intricacies. He thinks he is fooling people. (People who are not fools.)

 

[jmflu]

-- The mother of missing Florida toddler Caylee Anthony has been indicted on a first-degree murder charge, prosecutors say.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27184822/

So if you can't get on the forum for the rest of the night, you'll know why!!!

 

[jilly]

-- The mother of missing Florida toddler Caylee Anthony has been indicted on a first-degree murder charge, prosecutors say.

I thought something like that must have happened - this place is so slooow and a ton of people on! Thanks for letting us know!