Found Safe NC - CAB, 15, Winston-Salem, 4 May 2017 *Arrests*

[TeaTime]

Oh for Pete's sake! She is 15 and one of these guys is her boyfriend according to her mother. So, her boyfriend is either 20 or 24 years old!

I get so disgusted with people sometimes.

 

[cmlegend99]

Oh for Pete's sake! She is 15 and one of these guys is her boyfriend according to her mother. So, her boyfriend is either 20 or 24 years old!

I get so disgusted with people sometimes.

I've been hearing a lot about her situation and it isn't the best home environment [emoji849] As you view her FB you can gather most of it.


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[1&2&3]

It sounds like this girl is a true problem child.

With a history of running away, and gone for two months one time, what caused such concern this time? I do not mean this to be snarky. However, given her history, pictures on FB, and goodness knows what we haven't heard, CAB is in dire need of help.

Glad she was found safe.

 

[Kapua]

Oh for Pete's sake! She is 15 and one of these guys is her boyfriend according to her mother. So, her boyfriend is either 20 or 24 years old!

I get so disgusted with people sometimes.

That's what I said. :notgood:

My parents would have never tolerated me dating a 20-year-old at age 15, yours? :notgood:

I hope she has a responsible aunt or grandmother who will step in and help her because this poor girl is going down the wrong path.

 

[GigTu]

About CAB, could her "boyfriend" be her pimp? That's usually what the girls claim when they've been indoctrinated into the sex trafficking system. By viewing her FB, she does seem quite demonstrative in this regard. Her live videos made me feel really sad and I wonder what kind of home life she has that she would have this sort of need in her life.

What can be done to stop this repeating itself after they find her?

I'm so glad she was found safe.

My thoughts above bear repeating. I feel this will behavior repeat for reasons noted, until it ends very badly, with finality.

 

[possumheart]

I'm so glad she was found safe.

My thoughts above bear repeating. I feel this will behavior repeat for reasons noted, until it ends very badly, with finality.

Hopefully there will be some sort of intervention

 

[Elle*Bee]

Totally agree...why do "kids" even had SM accounts? I know I'm old-school, but my daughter would never have a SM account - If she did, I would have access to it.

Some kids are sneaky. My friend doesn't allow her 12 year old daughter to have social media accounts. She (the mother) learned that her daughter does have Facebook and Twitter accounts (who knows what else). She regularly searches the daughter's phone for apps - none there. Turns out the daughter accesses social media via web browser, posts what she wants, then deletes her browsing history.

 

[cvaldez1975]

According to her family, CAB has a history of running away:


http://www.journalnow.com/news/crim...cle_da7353e1-a208-50eb-9567-a5c63e09350b.html

BBM

I think the 20 year old was her bf and she ran off w him. It's possible the older guy parted ways when he found out she was young and that there was an amber alert. She ran away for two months before. This is a candidate for what NYC calls a PINS warrant. She needs more supervision.


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[inmyhumbleopinion]

Huffing! My goodness! That is frightening. Maybe alarm systems are next. Ugh. I don't have enough hugs to share with you. You need more hugs.

:grouphug:

ETA: The big box store should be accountable for sellers no aerosol cans to juveniles - in the middle of the night even! C'MON!

I'm super scared for your daughter. Is it that she self sabotages and hurts herself because she is hurting? I can't even understand it, and I have zero advice other than getting her into therapy asap.

It sounds like your ex and you work cordially together, but maybe you also need a team of family around at all times. Is that possible?

CAB is also engaging in self harm behavior, of a different sort. In both cases, a need is not being met and each girl seems to be trying to fill that gap, albeit in different ways.

Thank you so much, GigTu, for your thoughtful advice and caring encouragement (and virtual hugs!).

As a parent, I take full responsibility for my daughter's actions, but yes, I must say it would help tremendously if retailers were a little more concerned about their customers' safety and well-being than the bottom-line. There have also been a couple of instances where she would leave the house at six, seven o'clock in the morning on a non-school-day to buy cough syrup (she was never even remotely interested in drugs until her online predator told her about the the hallucinogen-like effects of DXM, the main active ingredient in many cough syrups). Walgreen's flat-out refused, but apparently she had no problem getting it in the pharmacy section of a nearby grocery store. This was another reason why both my ex-husband and I decided to have alarm/security systems installed at both our residences. Without it, I realized, she could sneak out at any time of the day. I would try to get some rest while she was at school because I was getting very little sleep at night.

She has been under the care of a pediatric psychiatrist and a therapist since she was eleven, which was when she first started showing signs of depression (i.e., declining grades, isolation, etc.). That was also when she started cutting.

Last summer -a few months after everything with the 18-year-old happened-, she and I traveled to Massachusetts, where she spent three weeks being treated through an adolescent residential treatment program at McLean Hospital (though made infamous in the Michelle Carter case, our experience with them has been nothing but fantastic). Though they would not officially diagnose her as per diagnostic guidelines, we were told she is showing many of the early signs of borderline personality disorder: Something her outpatient therapist already suspected. She absolutely thrives on crises and definitely engages in self-destructive -as well as self-sabotaging- behaviors (i.e., one of the symptoms of BPD is described as "impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating").
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml

At least in my daughter's case, it certainly has not helped that I have suffered from clinical depression for most of my adult life, and probably as long as she can remember. And because of this, she really had to grow up fast as I wasn't always there to take care of her and her younger brother. This also meant my then-husband was also often tasked with looking after them while working a full-time, demanding job. Fortunately, through a lot of therapy, she has been able to address her feelings about this, which has helped me be a better mother to her and her brother. I am most definitely not looking for pity ; rather, I wanted to share my perspective as a parent of a child like my daughter, CAB (I suspect) and perhaps the kids -especially those who fall victim to the so-called men and women, who prey on them both online and in real life- in some of the cases we try to help resolve here on WS.

According to this article -not sure if it has been posted yet-, there are six children in CAB's family.
http://www.journalnow.com/news/crim...cle_da7353e1-a208-50eb-9567-a5c63e09350b.html
I hope that her mom is getting all the help she can whether familial or professional. Fortunately, my 12-year-old son is quite a social butterfly and likes to keep himself busy -whether playing pickup basketball with the neighborhood kids or with soccer practice-, and his friends' parents often come to the rescue if my daughter is having a particularly hard day. Also the student advocate at my daughter's school has been fantastic, especially since she found out about the 18-year-old being charged here. He has done a great job of -compassionately and tactfully- explaining to her that the individual must be punished, and that he is the one who is responsible for what has happened, while also discussing the importance of not engaging in reckless or risky behavior herself.

As to yesterday's pre-exam conference, it was determined that the prosecution and defense will try to reach a plea agreement, in which the 18-year-old would plead guilty to two felony charges, each carrying maximum of four years, likely to be served concurrently. They hope to make this happen before Thursday, when his prelim is scheduled to take place; if they cannot, then my daughter -along with her father and I- may be subpoenaed to testify during the prelim (humbly asking for all prayers and positive vibes lease.

I am so relieved that CAB has been found. I hope that she gets all the help she needs and sticks with it. Hopefully, this incident will be a wake-up call to her, as well as the adults in her life.

Once again, I am sorry for the lengthy post - and thank you all for your love, support ... and patience!!

 

[inmyhumbleopinion]

"Investigators with the sheriff’s office traveled to Sanford on Friday night to interview Bottoms and Cutler, Stanley said.

Based on those interviews, investigators will decide whether to file charges in connection with Bottoms’ disappearance." (BBM)
http://www.journalnow.com/news/crim...cle_da7353e1-a208-50eb-9567-a5c63e09350b.html

Trying to think of a situation in which they would decide not to file charges ... I mean, she is 15 and he is 20 ...??

 

[BIC]

"Investigators with the sheriff’s office traveled to Sanford on Friday night to interview Bottoms and Cutler, Stanley said.

Based on those interviews, investigators will decide whether to file charges in connection with Bottoms’ disappearance." (BBM)
http://www.journalnow.com/news/crim...cle_da7353e1-a208-50eb-9567-a5c63e09350b.html

Trying to think of a situation in which they would decide not to file charges ... I mean, she is 15 and he is 20 ...??

Too many grey areas with these types of cases. IMO

 

[Gardener1850]

[h=1]2 men face charges in connection to Amber Alert of Forsyth County teen[/h]

Joffee Lee Cutler, 20 of Cameron, N.C. and Deshawn Dante Townes, 24, of Sanford, N.C. face charges in connection to the disappearance of CAB.

Cutler faces charges of statutory rape, kidnapping and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He was jailed in Forsyth County under a $250,000 secured bond.

Townes was charged with one count of felonious restraint and released on a written promise to appear in court on May 25, which is the court date for both suspects.
The investigation is ongoing and additional charges are expected, the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office said in a press release.

http://myfox8.com/2017/05/06/2-men-face-charges-in-connection-to-amber-alert-of-forsyth-county-teen/

 

[Harmony 2]

mod note: To protect the victim's privacy I have gone back and redacted her name and photos. Please refer to her by using initials from this point forward.

:tyou:

 

[cvaldez1975]

Honestly, Townes looks slow and easily led.


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[EA18G]

http://www.wxii12.com/article/amber...r-old-girl-last-seen-in-winston-salem/9602940

As a result of the evidence collected and statements obtained during the course of the investigation and after consultation with the Forsyth County District Attorney’s Office, Mr. Cutler was charged with Statutory Rape, Kidnapping and Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor.

Mr. Cutler is at the Forsyth County Law Enforcement Detention Center with a secured bond in the amount of $250,000.00. He's due for a preliminary hearing scheduled on May 25, 2017.
Mr. Townes was also charged in connection with this investigation with one count of Felonious Restraint. He was released on a Written Promise to Appear in court on May 25, 2017.

Ms. was returned to her family. Deputies say the investigation is on-going and additional charges are expected.

 

[msphilosopher]

Just saw CB was found!

Now hopefully healing and getting help can begin.

Something tells me she really was in serious danger... not just a runaway with her BF scenario...