Huffing! My goodness! That is frightening. Maybe alarm systems are next. Ugh. I don't have enough hugs to share with you. You need more hugs.
:grouphug:
ETA: The big box store should be accountable for sellers no aerosol cans to juveniles - in the middle of the night even! C'MON!
I'm super scared for your daughter. Is it that she self sabotages and hurts herself because she is hurting? I can't even understand it, and I have zero advice other than getting her into therapy asap.
It sounds like your ex and you work cordially together, but maybe you also need a team of family around at all times. Is that possible?
CAB is also engaging in self harm behavior, of a different sort. In both cases, a need is not being met and each girl seems to be trying to fill that gap, albeit in different ways.
Thank you so much, GigTu, for your thoughtful advice and caring encouragement (and virtual hugs!).
As a parent, I take full responsibility for my daughter's actions, but yes, I must say it would help tremendously if retailers were a little more concerned about their customers' safety and well-being than the bottom-line. There have also been a couple of instances where she would leave the house at six, seven o'clock in the morning on a non-school-day to buy cough syrup (she was never even remotely interested in drugs until her online predator told her about the the hallucinogen-like effects of DXM, the main active ingredient in many cough syrups). Walgreen's flat-out refused, but apparently she had no problem getting it in the pharmacy section of a nearby grocery store. This was another reason why both my ex-husband and I decided to have alarm/security systems installed at both our residences. Without it, I realized, she could sneak out at any time of the day. I would try to get some rest while she was at school because I was getting very little sleep at night.
She has been under the care of a pediatric psychiatrist and a therapist since she was eleven, which was when she first started showing signs of depression (i.e., declining grades, isolation, etc.). That was also when she started cutting.
Last summer -a few months after everything with the 18-year-old happened-, she and I traveled to Massachusetts, where she spent three weeks being treated through an adolescent residential treatment program at McLean Hospital (though made infamous in the Michelle Carter case, our experience with them has been nothing but fantastic). Though they would not officially diagnose her as per diagnostic guidelines, we were told she is showing many of the early signs of borderline personality disorder: Something her outpatient therapist already suspected. She absolutely thrives on crises and definitely engages in self-destructive -as well as self-sabotaging- behaviors (i.e., one of the symptoms of BPD is described as "impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating").
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml
At least in my daughter's case, it certainly has not helped that I have suffered from clinical depression for most of my adult life, and probably as long as she can remember. And because of this, she really had to grow up fast as I wasn't always there to take care of her and her younger brother. This also meant my then-husband was also often tasked with looking after them while working a full-time, demanding job. Fortunately, through a lot of therapy, she has been able to address her feelings about this, which has helped me be a better mother to her and her brother. I am most definitely not looking for pity
![Smile :) :)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
; rather, I wanted to share my perspective as a parent of a child like my daughter, CAB (I suspect) and perhaps the kids -especially those who fall victim to the so-called men and women, who prey on them both online and in real life- in some of the cases we try to help resolve here on WS.
According to this article -not sure if it has been posted yet-, there are six children in CAB's family.
http://www.journalnow.com/news/crim...cle_da7353e1-a208-50eb-9567-a5c63e09350b.html
I hope that her mom is getting all the help she can whether familial or professional. Fortunately, my 12-year-old son is quite a social butterfly and likes to keep himself busy -whether playing pickup basketball with the neighborhood kids or with soccer practice-, and his friends' parents often come to the rescue if my daughter is having a particularly hard day. Also the student advocate at my daughter's school has been fantastic, especially since she found out about the 18-year-old being charged here. He has done a great job of -compassionately and tactfully- explaining to her that the individual must be punished, and that he is the one who is responsible for what has happened, while also discussing the importance of not engaging in reckless or risky behavior herself.
As to yesterday's pre-exam conference, it was determined that the prosecution and defense will try to reach a plea agreement, in which the 18-year-old would plead guilty to two felony charges, each carrying maximum of four years, likely to be served concurrently. They hope to make this happen before Thursday, when his prelim is scheduled to take place; if they cannot, then my daughter -along with her father and I- may be subpoenaed to testify during the prelim (humbly asking for all prayers and positive vibes
![Stick Out Tongue :p :p](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
lease
![Smile :) :)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
.
I am so relieved that CAB has been found. I hope that she gets all the help she needs and
sticks with it. Hopefully, this incident will be a wake-up call to her, as well as the adults in her life.
Once again, I am sorry for the lengthy post - and thank you all for your love, support ... and patience!!