Found Deceased NC - Maddox Ritch, 6 w/Autism, Gastonia, 22 Sept 2018 #2

[MsFacetious]

I don't think it's offensive. It probably IS rude to scrutinize someone to look for signs of being neurologically different.

But I will say that being on the spectrum isn't a bad thing. To me it's not a put down to suggest. It's just a possible explanation for someone acting differently from what most would consider typical.

I definitely think being on the spectrum is far less offensive to explain his lack of urgency, than the other options people have presented.

 

[Charlot123]

Very Insightful post.

To offer another perspective;

I think this can be individually based on each person's idea of what that title (in this case, Father) means or is based on individual feelings/emotions vs. their mental development or mental abilities or medical diagnosis of anything.

There are people who no longer consider themselves as having a specific title (mother, father, sister, brother, niece, nephew, cousin, etc) if there is a loss of the family member whose existence gave the person the title. I don't believe you have to be anything but neurotypical to feel as though, for example, that you once were, but are no longer a brother if you are a male who lost your only sibling.

Also, I'm not sure how to word this without being offensive, but I'm going to try my very best, because I feel it at least might deserve mentioning (no one else has said it yet though, so I am open to fully accepting that I may be very wrong here)
But, I noticed that some who are attempting to defend or at least give a possible explanation as to different things about the father (lack of emotion, lack of urgency, etc) are suggesting that he may also be on the Autism Spectrum as well. It may be worth considering that just as it is hurtful to point fingers at someone as being possibly guilty of something when LE hasn't named them as a POI, it may also perhaps be offensive to point out reasons you think someone is also on the spectrum when they haven't disclosed any information about their medical history in regards to being anything other than neurotypical.
Again, I'm willing to accept that I may be incorrect, and there are not any WS policies regarding this specifically (to my knowledge anyway) just felt it might be something to think about.....
(If mentioning this has offended someone, so my sincere apologies in advance)

I feel sorry for this dad and unless something new pans out, believe his story. I feel that he is grieving, and some of the things people post on his FB are offensive. It tells me a lot that he does not remove these comments. Many commented on his lack of emotions, this is why I offered the most obvious explanation.

I would like to know how many times before dad has been in the park with Maddox and the new girlfriend. If it was his first time in the park with the two of them together, this might offer an additional explanation of his slow reaction. He used to play with Maddox, "his buddy", as he said, but now it was coupled with a date. Too much to handle,so he felt overwhelmed.

 

[Steelslady]

I have been reading everyone's posts and as always am so impressed by how many clever, clever WSs there are here!
One fact that really disturbs me is why neither the Dad or the GF didn't attract attention by shouting/screaming that a child is missing to alert and rally those other people in the park to immediately begin looking for him!
I know the panic I have felt on those rare occasions that I could not see my child and add to that that they were near a body of water! I would want as much help as quickly as possible!!
I hope we hear some news tomorrow.

All you said above and more!!!!!!! If this was me, even if it was a friend's child, a relatives, boyfriend, etc and most especially, my own at that age, I would be screaming from the rooftops for people to help search for him. We lost our youngest daughter, had no idea what direction she went in, and believe me, I had about 20 adults willingly help us search for her, thank God.

Even if the father didn't react in that way, I know I sure as heck would. If a child got lost while under my watch as well as his, I would not take this lightly- that child is more important to me than anything else. Speaking just for myself only, I would not be able to live with myself if I was with someone else and their child and I didn't try and grab folks attention along the way to help find the child. Maybe she did, and we just don't know about it right now. I won't judge her, as we haven't heard much about her or her reaction to when Maddox went missing. Maybe she can't run either, who knows. I just know that I am not one to stay quiet if a child is missing. I spring into action, even today, and my kids are all adults now.

 

[Charlot123]

I'm not an act fast kind of person either. When one of mine fell in the pool, I was standing right there and before I could move my SIL was in the pool, fully dressed. And when one of them throws up? Forget it! I freeze for at least 10 seconds. I've cleaned a lot of carpets due to my slow action.

I should not be an act fast person, but twice when it took my family members, I acted fast. Only I remember a strange dichotomy, time starts literally flowing slow in these situations, I had the time to think through and do everything, and thought it took me ten minutes, and later people standing around said it was only one. But it happens only with my family members, in other situations I am not fast.

 

[mickey2942]

Poor little guy. I know this much, if I see any child alone, any where, I ask them where their Mama is...most kids will trustingly hold my hand, and especially little ones, are happy to have found someone help them. Most of the time, they don't even know they are lost.

Usually, within a minute, a frantic Mama shows up.

Which just makes me wonder how long this little tyke had wandered off...and were the police/park officials alerted immediately?

 

[Steelslady]

I got the impression from the FBI press conference after Maddox was found that there's something more than is being said right now. On average two children die per day due to accidental drownings. It is always a tragedy and I know there are ongoing and increasing efforts to stress how quickly this can happen. If Maddox ran off into the creek and accidentally drowned while his dad and LE were looking for him at the park and in the lake, it's really sad but not a criminal matter IMO. Given both what's swirling (fairly or unfairly) about the family and the general unease for parents in the area due to an unknown possible kidnapper, I just think LE would have worked as quickly as possible to announce the COD was accidental drowning.

This is totally IMO MOO but I also felt like the LE officers just looked too sad and disturbed at the press conference. If it looked like an accidental drowning and there was no evidence or injuries on Maddox, I would think most reactions would be sadness and anger that LE didn't find him sooner. Instead they struck me as surprised and horrified? I don't know if I was reading too much into it but I expected more of a PC with the theme that LE was disappointed they couldn't have found him sooner to have possibly saved his life. Instead they focused on that the investigation was just getting started and they have a lot more work to do. Would you have a lot more work to do with an accidental drowning? I don't know.

I hope I'm wrong and they just want to tie up loose ends.

ETA: CDC report on accidental (non-boating) drownings Unintentional Drowning: Get the Facts | Home and Recreational Safety | CDC Injury Center

Here's another thing that is puzzling to me- they announced Maddox's obituary today, so I would imagine that by now, they have an idea about the COD. Yet, they are still asking for people who were at the park to call in? They mentioned that they got over 150 leads- where did those leads come from? Why didn't the police stop people from leaving the park when it was first known that Maddox was missing, just in case someone did try to attempt to kidnap him?

I know what you mean about the comments swirling about certain folks, and with some digging, I see why, but it can't be discussed here because no one is considered a suspect or POI at this time. The female FBI lady mentioning that the mother is under the care of a victim counselor stands out to me- this was right after he was reported missing, so it seemed odd to me that this was brought up so quickly, as he wasn't found yet and it was day one of him not being found.

Hence this is why I have stepped back a bit and am questioning things on my own without trying to hurt or offend folks here who may take it the wrong way. I am totally sympathetic to those who have lost sight of children, it happens to the majority of parents, if not all, at least once. Anyone who has lost a child through a God awful drowning or accident has my total compassion and understanding- I don't care a whiff if your child is autistic, special needs or not- to me, every child is important- yours, mine- all.

I, too, got the same vibe from LE and FBI about their reactions after Maddox was found- a couple of them looked totally horrified. If I remember correctly, didn't they say during one of the press conferences that counseling would be available to all LE that needed it, or am I thinking of another case?

 

[Steelslady]

Very Insightful post.

To offer another perspective;

I think this can be individually based on each person's idea of what that title (in this case, Father) means or is based on individual feelings/emotions vs. their mental development or mental abilities or medical diagnosis of anything.

There are people who no longer consider themselves as having a specific title (mother, father, sister, brother, niece, nephew, cousin, etc) if there is a loss of the family member whose existence gave the person the title. I don't believe you have to be anything but neurotypical to feel as though, for example, that you once were, but are no longer a brother if you are a male who lost your only sibling.

Also, I'm not sure how to word this without being offensive, but I'm going to try my very best, because I feel it at least might deserve mentioning (no one else has said it yet though, so I am open to fully accepting that I may be very wrong here)
But, I noticed that some who are attempting to defend or at least give a possible explanation as to different things about the father (lack of emotion, lack of urgency, etc) are suggesting that he may also be on the Autism Spectrum as well. It may be worth considering that just as it is hurtful to point fingers at someone as being possibly guilty of something when LE hasn't named them as a POI, it may also perhaps be offensive to point out reasons you think someone is also on the spectrum when they haven't disclosed any information about their medical history in regards to being anything other than neurotypical.
Again, I'm willing to accept that I may be incorrect, and there are not any WS policies regarding this specifically (to my knowledge anyway) just felt it might be something to think about.....
(If mentioning this has offended someone, so my sincere apologies in advance)

Well said and great post, as always.

I really think we need to focus on what we know about the father and not what we don't know (whether or not he is autistic himself). LE has their reasons for not naming him as a POI or suspect, so until he is named as such, we'll have to assume that if something sinister happened to Maddox, that they either have someone else in mind (or maybe someone they don't know about yet) or they don't have enough evidence just yet to name a POI or suspect.

 

[Steelslady]

Im safety team leader for several Walmart stores and this is one of the things we teach our new employees as soon as they are hired. We tell them exactly what to do should a code Adam come over the intercome, what places to look, what information to put out on the intercome, in no way do we ever say the childs name when we give out the info for a code Adam. We also teach them to always always look at the childs shoes if they have been given a description of what the child is wearing, being a store with lots of clothing in it a kidnapper might change the childs clothes to get away but most likely they wont think about the childs shoes.

It is a great safety feature that you have implemented in your stores- I commend you for it. My son has taken part of one Code Adam, and he said it was amazing to see everyone spring into action while helping to find the missing child. It also scared him, too, as well as several employees, and they were all relieved when the child was found safe and returned to their mother.

I love how no one can leave the store until they are found, it is a great precautionary measure to ensure that the child doesn't leave with an adult they don't belong with.

 

[TeaTime]

Seriously, I thought this was a victim friendly place but there are pages upon pages of discussions questioning this father, his actions and his mental status. Shameful.

May God protect you all from the horror he is experiencing and may YOU not find yourselves being unfairly judged by internet sleuths whom you have never met.

 

[MyTinkieGirl]

Seriously, I thought this was a victim friendly place but there are pages upon pages of discussions questioning this father, his actions and his mental status. Shameful.

May God protect you all from the horror he is experiencing and may YOU not find yourselves being unfairly judged by internet sleuths whom you have never met.

And Maddox? My opinion is not in any way blaming the father for doing anything to hurt his child. Maddox was a victim.
Maddox was in the care of an adult. His father. Someone who loved him. Someone who was, PERHAPS, not paying close attention to his son. Someone who was ,PERHAPS, paying attention to his new GF, as opposed to his son. Someone who, being as his son is 6 years old, is autistic and non verbal, should have been giving his son his undivided attention. Someone who KNEW, as he has stated, this was the FIRST time Maddox was at this park.
The father's interview to the media on Thread 1, Page 45, Post 888 - I have that in memory by now. There exists some somewhat inconsistent and some somewhat hard to believe statements.
I know this dad is hurting. I believe he will live with this all his life. The mother is more than broken because of this. I pray for them.
How do we think Maddox felt as he was wandering about a place he had NEVER been to? How did Maddox feel when he couldn't find his way back to the person who was entrusted with his care? Confused? Scared? Wondering how to get home?
That's what it's about for me. This child, who had no idea of where he was. Didn't even know how to get back to where the person, who brought him there, was.
IMO, again, IMO, the father was paying more attention to his girlfriend than his son. Maddox needed someone to be sure he was safe. Safe at ALL times.
Again. IMO

ETA: I keep hoping people don't think I'm questioning IF Maddox was at the park. I believe he was at the park. I whole heartedly believe his father let his son down. Plain and simple.

 

[imstilla.grandma]

 

[Alleykins]

I'm not an act fast kind of person either. When one of mine fell in the pool, I was standing right there and before I could move my SIL was in the pool, fully dressed. And when one of them throws up? Forget it! I freeze for at least 10 seconds. I've cleaned a lot of carpets due to my slow action.

I'm a "freezer", too, sometimes, in that it takes me a few moments to wrap my head around a scary situation and believe what I'm seeing, then react. "This can't be happening" plays in my head over and over, I will see a flash of light and go momentarily blind, and my heart will pound in my ears, drowning out any sounds. It's like I've been zapped with a freeze ray.

When it clears up, I can usually take action, and the freezing doesn't happen each and every time I face something frightening, but I can totally relate.

Also, I had a similar situation at a public pool when my son was five. All I could do was stand there, pointing and grunting pathetically, my legs like lead, while my son was over his head, under water.
A lifeguard went and fished him out and he was fine, but I was useless.

 

[MissMalowe]

Not sure if this article had been posted yet.

It's very lengthy, but good as it touches on main events/happenings from each day and includes many photos etc.

MISSING 6-YEAR-OLD MADDOX RITCH: 'Just a sweet innocent child': Memorial grows for 6-year-old Maddox Ritch

 

[mickey2942]

Seriously, I thought this was a victim friendly place but there are pages upon pages of discussions questioning this father, his actions and his mental status. Shameful.

May God protect you all from the horror he is experiencing and may YOU not find yourselves being unfairly judged by internet sleuths whom you have never met.

We all know accidents happen. Children can disappear in a heartbeat. That is why we are trying to figure out how this happened, what led up to this, and immediately after. As we theorize, we are not "victim blaming", we are sleuthing, and reviewing.

This could happen to anyone. The goal is to see how it happened here, and what interventions could have been done to change the sad outcome. Sorry if our speculation is offensive. We care deeply about children, especially ones that need extra TLC.

 

[Cartie]

Seriously, I thought this was a victim friendly place but there are pages upon pages of discussions questioning this father, his actions and his mental status. Shameful.

May God protect you all from the horror he is experiencing and may YOU not find yourselves being unfairly judged by internet sleuths whom you have never met.

Well said teatime
People react in different ways. I for one never show emotion due to lots of things that I experienced in life. And just because a patent doesn't go round everywhere with rains on a child does not make them a neglectful parent. You can only truly sleuth with fact and we are been given very little so until then I respectfully reserve judgement

 

[lorieaster]

All you said above and more!!!!!!! If this was me, even if it was a friend's child, a relatives, boyfriend, etc and most especially, my own at that age, I would be screaming from the rooftops for people to help search for him. We lost our youngest daughter, had no idea what direction she went in, and believe me, I had about 20 adults willingly help us search for her, thank God.

Even if the father didn't react in that way, I know I sure as heck would. If a child got lost while under my watch as well as his, I would not take this lightly- that child is more important to me than anything else. Speaking just for myself only, I would not be able to live with myself if I was with someone else and their child and I didn't try and grab folks attention along the way to help find the child. Maybe she did, and we just don't know about it right now. I won't judge her, as we haven't heard much about her or her reaction to when Maddox went missing. Maybe she can't run either, who knows. I just know that I am not one to stay quiet if a child is missing. I spring into action, even today, and my kids are all adults now.

My family was at the beach a month ago and I noticed a group talking and pointing in one direction. I told my daughter must be a missing child! It was obvious before we actually knew. A couple went to the life guard stand and told him a little girl was missing. We asked for a description and my daughter immediately said I believe I saw her chasing birds. She was found! Yes she had been chasing birds but my point is so meaning people instantly knew and word was spread quickly and she was found. Yes, and a very crowded labor day weekend on the beach.

 

[imstilla.grandma]

“WTVD) -- Gastonia police received confirmation Monday from the medical examiner's office that the body found in a park last week is that of 6-year-old Maddox Ritch.”
Body found in Gastonia park officially ID'd as Maddox Ritch

“We are deeply saddened to learn the body found by searchers Thursday is confirmed to be Maddox Ritch,” Gastonia Police Chief Robert Helton said in a statement.
Authorities confirm body found in creek is Maddox Ritch

Gastonia Police have received confirmation on the identity of Maddox Ritch from the Mecklenburg County Medical Examiner’s Office. Autopsy results are not yet complete and when autopsy results will be complete is not known at this time.
Police confirm body found was Maddox Ritch - News - The Fayetteville Observer - Fayetteville, NC

 

[Lillymac]

Well said teatime
People react in different ways. I for one never show emotion due to lots of things that I experienced in life. And just because a patent doesn't go round everywhere with rains on a child does not make them a neglectful parent. You can only truly sleuth with fact and we are been given very little so until then I respectfully reserve judgement

I agree totally. Very little facts have been given. All our information is after the fact. Eg. What we would have done, or what should have been done. And to say a person is on the "spectrum", based on an interview of a man whose only son is missing....and who went missing on his watch. I have a friend whose son was treated for years for ADS. Only after many hours of testing and years of psychologist and gallons of Ritalin, did they come to a diagnosis of AS.
I know we all want a quick resolution to what happened to this precious little boy Maddox. But, unfortunately we have to wait on facts not suppositions.

 

[Steelslady]

I'm still hoping and praying that this was just a fun game of chase that father and son played during their outings, but instead of Maddox tiring out or getting bored with the game, he just kept going.

“WTVD) -- Gastonia police received confirmation Monday from the medical examiner's office that the body found in a park last week is that of 6-year-old Maddox Ritch.”
Body found in Gastonia park officially ID'd as Maddox Ritch

“We are deeply saddened to learn the body found by searchers Thursday is confirmed to be Maddox Ritch,” Gastonia Police Chief Robert Helton said in a statement.
Authorities confirm body found in creek is Maddox Ritch

Gastonia Police have received confirmation on the identity of Maddox Ritch from the Mecklenburg County Medical Examiner’s Office. Autopsy results are not yet complete and when autopsy results will be complete is not known at this time.
Police confirm body found was Maddox Ritch - News - The Fayetteville Observer - Fayetteville, NC

Ugh.. the ME should by now know if it was an accidental drowning. If that did indeed happen, they should say something so folks minds don't keep wandering where they shouldn't be. This really is unnerving. I really am hoping and praying that this poor child just had one hell of a fun run and adventure, went to get a drink of water or explore the creek and fell and hurt himself by accident.

This thread has become so hostile.

 

[mickey2942]

"The investigation is not over". From Fox news today. That is chilling.

Apparently, Maddox was missing for an HOUR before his Father went to a park employee for assistance.

An hour. Silence. An hour.