You have a point with that as well.
IMO when kids' families split apart it is traumatic for them. The focus should be on tbe kids for both parents. When a new mate is introduced and possibly step kids or new siblings eventually, this can rock their worlds. They didn't choose to have their family destroyed and they did t choose to have a new family created. The parent did. So the kids are forced to accept people they may not like or want. I think that's problematic. At the least, their needs should take precedence over the parents. They are vulnerable and incapable of protecting themselves or making their feelings known in a rational way.
Aside from that, there are step moms who kill their step kids - Zahra Baker was a victim. Kyron Horman. And many others whose world becomes abusive once "new mommy" steps in the picture.
But the fact is, while it occasionally occurs with women, it is a phenomena with men that has biological roots. In the animal kingdom, males will often kill the young of their new mate so they can impregnate her with their own semen and have resources dedicated to only their own offspring.
The fact is that research shows children are at a higher risk of maltreatment when they live with a male partner of their mother and the male partner is not their biological father:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2845296/
So moms need to be especially cautious. More so than dad's.
Nope. People are just supposed to put their damn kids first once in awhile. Why is the parent's desire for companionship more important than the child's right to not be molested or beaten to death or even just uprooted and maybe treated unfairly?
We are talking about risk. Some people feel that if they know a person well enough and long enough and feel their kids can cope with all that upheaval, they can introduce a significant other to their kids after a time. Some don't think the risk is worth it. I mean people get fooled all the time by a potential or actual mate. Some don't feel it's worth it to involve kids in that.
But why does it have to be so dramatic? Why can't people date and have a social life that doesn't involve moving a new person into their home? Or not leaving a vulnerable child alone with the new deadbeat? Or maybe not moving in a guy with a criminal record or a drug problem or a tendency to commit domestic violence? Or how about not letting the new mate "discipline" your kids?
I mean those might be some good guidelines.
We see far to many cases with outcomes like this. Kids are at higher risk of abuse in homes with mama's new man. That may not be comfortable for us to hear but it is fact.
