moonlessnight
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- Nov 18, 2017
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very true. being a victim of DV is very much like being a prisoner of war, except when you're a POW, your abuser doesn't tell you he loves you and is your friend. the dynamics are similar, and you even try to please the abuser to prevent abuse. eventually, bc of their tactics, you lose yourself and think like them. it's a survival tactic and it's also their goal. if you lose yourself they have complete control over you. getting the victim away from the abuser and feeling safe (for yourself and children), educated about control tactics, and having some ability to make decisions and have some control over your own life is the way to start healing. Sometimes the abuse or murder of children is retaliation for some way in which the victim has stood up to the abuser or gone against their control. challenged them in some way.
That's what makes me worry that the boys won't say anything except what they might've been told to say.