I don't pick apart language very much b/c here, what we say, is sometimes viewed as quite odd. Living where I do, there's sayings/words, that are unique to this region (with the exception of a couple places that Appalachian folk resettled in, that are not in Appalachia). I agree that Mom, as well as Dad, have made some very poor life choices, but, I don't know what went on inside those four walls of that trailer. I know my friend suffered the brunt of the physical abuse, so her kids did not, but the emotional abuse, she couldn't absorb for them, and the scars seem to be still there, for her, and at least one of hers, after all of these many years. Knowing her story fairly well, and reading the stories of those who have used our shelter, it's not black and white. I've often wondered why my friend just didn't kill her spouse, in his sleep, one night, after he'd beaten her to a bloody pulp, for the umpteenth time, but, I didn't live in that home, and he wasn't inside my head.