Philigumbo
Verified registered nurse
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2012
- Messages
- 733
- Reaction score
- 1,276
The more details that were discovered during the search for Raul, the more heightened my "bad feelings" about everything became. At this point, I do now lean towards this being accidental. However, taking into consideration those details we learned along the way, so many things don't sit right with me in terms of whether that household is truly a safe, happy, healthy environment for the remaining 7 children.
- Raul was a habitual wanderer. He wandered often enough that authorities had been involved previously due to his wandering off and getting lost, as recently as THE DAY BEFORE. It had happened enough times that the one detective was familiar with not only Raul, but his typical wandering habits as well.
-The first time police needed to be involved should have been considered a serious warning to the parent & caregiver that precautions needed to be set in place to ensure that Raul remained safe and in the home. Extra/higher deadbolts, locks or an alarm on the door are easy to install and very inexpensive. Adults in the home should have also been extra diligent about keeping their eyes and ears open for Raul. None of those things seemed to happen.
- It was 11:00/11:30 am on a weekday and he was still dressed in mis-matched pajamas and left the house without shoes. Not a large issue on its own by any means, but when taking all other things into consideration, it does make me wonder if the household was simply more laid back or not morning people and they take longer getting ready in the mornings or if no one noticed or took the care or consideration to get him properly dressed and presentable every day.
-He didn't speak to the neighbor that day.
He was a regular visitor to the cookie/candy lady and according to her, he didnt say a word to her that day, which was unusual. Why wasn't he talking?
The mother said he and his sister had an argument while playing as the reason. How does she know this? Obviously the 6 year old sister would know about the argument, but the sister didn't know he had left the house. He always wandered. But normally his sister isn't home sick from school to even argue with. And obviously, no one saw Raul after that to ask him. I got the impression that reason was given simply to give a reason. An attempt to make it seem as though it was an isolated incident? Was there some other reason he wasn't talking? 4 year olds are usually more than happy to tattle on one of their siblings to anyone who will listen. Not a word. Why? What really happened?
- Mom and Dad's arrests for sexual abuse. In fact, dad was also charged in 2007 for sexually abusing a child in the home. (I'm guessing/hoping this was a different home/family???!!!)
He at the very least, had a past. Yet, he was brought into these children's lives/the family home. Once a woman brings a man like that into the home, I wonder about all sorts of things. Is there a history of choosing bad men/bad relationships? Why? Did they have a troubled or unsafe home life growing up as well? What about their family and friends? Do they have a history of arrests or violence or abuse too? Are the children around these types of people regularly? Have other people with a shady or criminal past been allowed around the family home or have lived/are living in the home? (You gotta dig......)
And according to msm reports, the children had been removed from the home before, more than once. Again, why? If it was because of the sexual abuse charges against both the father and mother (which were later dropped for the mother) that would account for one removal, correct? So, what were the reasons for the additional removal(s)? I believe the MSM article also stated that the abuse charges were brought to police following an investigation by DSS/DFS/DHS. What was the reason for them being involved originally?
I could go on, but this post has already been far lengthier than I originally intended. (Sorry!) Basically, this is my overall perspective;
When it gets to the point that going out and searching your property, going door to door to ask neighbors if your child is there, and calling the police (again) because you can't find your wandering child (again), has become not only somewhat routine, but shamelessly less of a hassle than spending QUALITY time with them and actually investing in them while they are in your care, well, it's a sad existence for everyone under that roof. Loving a child simply isn't enough. You have to invest in them. Your time, your energy, your wisdom, your knowledge, your best judgements, your patience, your care.
In one article linked here, Mom also said Raul begged her not to go to work that day.