NE NE - Tyler Goodrich, 35, left his house to go on a run, Lincoln, 3 Nov 2023

[housewife]

They are scared of MV, imo.

Anonymous was concerned it would get back to MV as to who provided context to LE.

MV is still around. TG is gone without a trace. Nothing to be afraid from TG.


all imo

Sorry, I still don't understand why anyone would fear MV?
In a previous post coercive control was mentioned, is your speculation that MV has a history as an abuser? Why?

I don't think MV called police on false pretenses simply to intimidate and shame TG.

Why would Tyler fear a police call if nothing occurred? Why not stay and explain to the cops they were just having a discussion if nobody's safety was threatened? The 911 call would have evidence of the nature of the discussion.

MV cannot make TG feel shame. TG can feel shameful for his own actions, however.

 

[housewife]

I feel like the police tipped their hand too much when they said the following:

"Typically, investigators can reach back out to people who submit anonymous tips online or over the phone to Crime Stoppers. But that’s not possible with a handwritten letter."

How can they reach back out to tipsters if it is anonymous? If crime stoppers is staffed by civilian volunteers, and it is a small town, I could see leaks happen.

I am also thinking the author was Tyler's coworker. Someone close enough to see his daily moods and chat about family activities on the weekends. They wouldn't know the location of Tyler but could assess his frame of mind if he was feeling hopeless or angry his last day at work.
They would also know that in a small town, no one is anonymous and they would know how to get around crime stoppers.

I hope MV and their children have as much of a support system as Tyler.

Also wanted to mention that if your partner/spouse threatens suicide, it is considered emotional abuse. An abuser can threaten to kill themselves to manipulate their victim to succumb to their demands, often because the victim wants to leave but the abuser wants them to stay. In these cases it would be appropriate to call 911.

 

[Jade]

Sorry, I still don't understand why anyone would fear MV?
In a previous post coercive control was mentioned, is your speculation that MV has a history as an abuser? Why?

I don't think MV called police on false pretenses simply to intimidate and shame TG.

Why would Tyler fear a police call if nothing occurred? Why not stay and explain to the cops they were just having a discussion if nobody's safety was threatened? The 911 call would have evidence of the nature of the discussion.

MV cannot make TG feel shame. TG can feel shameful for his own actions, however.

MV described TG as running away from home in distress. That seems truthful to me.

<modsnip>

My thought that anonymous would be scared of MV was because if the information is unflattering or caused more examination, rightly or wrongly, of MV the person may lose their social standing or friendships for interfering.

MV is defensive and in the linked articles says he keeps an eye on social media.
I believe in some circles it’s small and is going to be fairly obvious who is talking.
The letter writer has to live in that world of TG is gone.

I believe that is why Crime Stoppers is so popular most people don’t want to get involved publicly because they are scared of either social or physical harm for getting involved.

all imo

 

[MTW2011]

The first reactions are to some of the questions here about if a child or teenager wrote the letter, I feel like if so those would not have known things they could’ve done to anonymize the letter in such a way that LE would’ve been stumped several weeks later, right?

Maybe they could have, I’m not sure.
IMOO I could see it being some other adult, colleague or work friend who may know or feel like they know something helpful but also don’t want to implicate themselves, even if it’s not in some criminal type way, into the publicity and media surrounding this case. I don’t know, but hopefully they will reach back out to police.

 

[MyBelle]

I feel like the police tipped their hand too much when they said the following:

"Typically, investigators can reach back out to people who submit anonymous tips online or over the phone to Crime Stoppers. But that’s not possible with a handwritten letter."

How can they reach back out to tipsters if it is anonymous? If crime stoppers is staffed by civilian volunteers, and it is a small town, I could see leaks happen.

I am also thinking the author was Tyler's coworker. Someone close enough to see his daily moods and chat about family activities on the weekends. They wouldn't know the location of Tyler but could assess his frame of mind if he was feeling hopeless or angry his last day at work.
They would also know that in a small town, no one is anonymous and they would know how to get around crime stoppers.

I hope MV and their children have as much of a support system as Tyler.

Also wanted to mention that if your partner/spouse threatens suicide, it is considered emotional abuse. An abuser can threaten to kill themselves to manipulate their victim to succumb to their demands, often because the victim wants to leave but the abuser wants them to stay. In these cases it would be appropriate to call 911.

BBM. LE keeps the identity of the tipster anonymous. The identity is never made public but LE knows it.

JMO

Contact – LINCOLN, NE POLICE DEPARTMENT

 

[Betty P]

Sorry, I still don't understand why anyone would fear MV?
In a previous post coercive control was mentioned, is your speculation that MV has a history as an abuser? Why?

I don't think MV called police on false pretenses simply to intimidate and shame TG.

Why would Tyler fear a police call if nothing occurred? Why not stay and explain to the cops they were just having a discussion if nobody's safety was threatened? The 911 call would have evidence of the nature of the discussion.

MV cannot make TG feel shame. TG can feel shameful for his own actions, however.

Do you have a link to any evidence that TG needs to feel shameful for any of his actions? TIA

 

[imstilla.grandma]

 

[housewife]

Do you have a link to any evidence that TG needs to feel shameful for any of his actions? TIA

Nope. I didn't say Tyler should feel shame.
I do not have evidence of what prompted him to run away.

We feel our own feelings. I can't force someone to feel happy if they are not. I can't force someone to feel regretful of their actions. You can't feel a certain way because someone wants you to.

MV cannot make TG feel shame. TG can feel shameful for his own actions, however.

 

[housewife]

BBM. LE keeps the identity of the tipster anonymous. The identity is never made public but LE knows it.

JMO

Contact – LINCOLN, NE POLICE DEPARTMENT

Boy I feel really ignorant. I thought the whole purpose of Crime Stoppers was to keep your identity anonymous from everyone, including police. Like a suggestion box. I thought the whole point was to avoid incriminating yourself from the law. How else would they get tips?
So I guess Crime stoppers is best if you have a clean record and simply don't want your civilian neighbors/fellow gang members to find out.

 

[Cedars]

Boy I feel really ignorant. I thought the whole purpose of Crime Stoppers was to keep your identity anonymous from everyone, including police. Like a suggestion box. I thought the whole point was to avoid incriminating yourself from the law. How else would they get tips?
So I guess Crime stoppers is best if you have a clean record and simply don't want your civilian neighbors/fellow gang members to find out.

I don't think it's true that police know your identity. You communicate with crime stoppers, they give police your information but they don't give police any identifying info.

True story, because there was testimony about this in court:

There was a BOLO out for a vehicle associated with a missing person. Someone thought he recognized the vehicle. Not knowing what to do, he called crimestoppers, they asked him to give them the Vin# to confirm. He took photos of the vehicle and Vin, which he emailed to them. They begged him to say where it was, but he refused at that point, because it might implicate a family member.

In the end, he didn't have to tell them, police were already onto the perp through other means. They arrested the perp on their other evidence, then found the vehicle elsewhere (it had been moved).

Now, did they maybe analyse the guy's photos and get a GPS coordinate for where the photos were taken? I wouldn't put it past them. But they had other strong eyewitness/ cellphone
information to arrest the guy.

My point is that the tipster interacted with crimestoppers, he didn't interact with police, they never came and knocked on his door, called him into the police station, etc.

You can see how the interaction was important, crimestoppers asked him to get the vin and then confirmed with him it was the stolen vehicle (and he knew the implication, that the missing person was murdered). But they didn't demand he reveal his identity or where he saw it, and left him alone.

The tipster chose to eventually go to police and reveal himself and testify in court, once his family member had been cleared, but he need not have, that was his choice.

The point is that if he'd written an anonymous letter, crimestoppers couldn't respond by asking for the VIN number, etc.

JMO

 

[Jade]

Nope. I didn't say Tyler should feel shame.
I do not have evidence of what prompted him to run away.

We feel our own feelings. I can't force someone to feel happy if they are not. I can't force someone to feel regretful of their actions. You can't feel a certain way because someone wants you to.

I've supplied a couple of the many links available with the facts:

A person can shame a victim and make that victim feel shame whether it is justified or not.

Strict societies successfully use shaming of individuals or classes as a form of social control.


[...]
Emotional abuse and shame go hand in hand—a perfect marriage, so to speak. Shame is a significant factor in emotional abuse since it is the primary damage caused by emotional abuse.

It is also the primary tool used by abusers and the source of emotionally abusive behavior in abusers.

[...]

Shaming slowly whittles away at the victim’s self-esteem and self-confidence and makes her question her perceptions and eventually, her very sanity. Weakened, worn down, and confused, the victim loses her ability to fight back.

[...]

Shame is by far the most destructive aspect of emotional abuse and it can be the most difficult to heal.


Why Shame Is the Most Damaging Aspect of Emotional Abuse


[...]
If you’re told these things often enough, you might start to tell yourself, for example, “I’m not worthy of love.” And holding onto feelings of unworthiness can be very damaging to your mental and physical health.

The Dangers of Toxic Shame

Shame is behind these two common symptoms:

• Withdrawal. You might want to curl up in a ball and disappear when you feel shame. Shame makes us feel like we’re not good enough, and all we want to do is hide away.
• Anger. Because you feel emotional pain, you become angry to try to aim your pain away from yourself.

Toxic shame has also been linked to substance abuse, eating disorders, and self-harm.
These unhealthy coping mechanisms can serve as an escape from your emotional pain or inability to face yourself. ‌

You may also become a perfectionist or have unrealistic expectations in your attempt to avoid being shamed again.

What Is Toxic Shame?



imo

 

[amytothekate]

BBM. LE keeps the identity of the tipster anonymous. The identity is never made public but LE knows it.

JMO

Respectfully, I don't believe this (quoted) is generally accurate. It got me thinking and wondering, so I dug in a bit!

Here are some things I learned:

• Crime Stoppers was founded in 1976 in the US, but has a global network in the following regions:
  • USA, Canada, UK, Netherlands, Ukraine, Australia, New Zealand, Northern Mariana Islands, Caribbean, Bermuda, Latin America and Africa
• Crime Stoppers USA is the national organization that consists of a network of local programs
• Local programs are not government-funded - they rely on community support to fund operational expenses and pay rewards
• Local programs are run by volunteer Board of Directors
• Local programs use various mechanisms to preserve anonymity for the various pathways to submit tips
  • Forms to submit tips via the web do not ask for any personal information regarding the tipster
    • Lincoln / Lancaster County Crime Stoppers online tip submission form
    • Crime Stoppers programs use third-party software to cleanse or de-identify tip submission (e.g., stripping IP addresses, using proxy servers, etc.)
  • Phone lines for tips block caller information, calls are not recorded and call takers should never ask tipsters for identifying information
  • Crime Stoppers will review tips and strip potential identifying information before passing tips on to LE (e.g., if a tipster says "my neighbor", that information will be stripped from the tip)
• Tips can be followed up on by tipsters - whether submitting a tip via phone, text or web, tips generate a code that tipsters can use to log into a portal anonymously or call tip lines back to request updates on the status of their tips
  • From everything I have read, there is no mechanism for Crime Stoppers or LE to reach back out to tipsters, which seemingly contradicts the Lancaster County Sheriff's Office comments that "phone and online tips allow interaction to ask additional questions, clarify, verify tip information"
    • That should only apply to phone call tips, where the Crime Stoppers call taker can certainly ask questions/clarify/verify, etc. I have found nothing in my research to support LE's ability to follow up with web submissions

Sources:

• Crime Stoppers International
• Crime Stoppers USA
• Lincoln Lancaster Crime Stoppers
• VERIFY: Is Crime Stoppers really anonymous?
• PSA: How Crime Stoppers keeps your information anonymous and rewards you for tips
• Crime Stoppers Promise of Anonymity

 

[haggis]

Has anyone seen a social media statement made by MV on December 22? It's mentioned in an article I found on "three men missing in Nebraska." Curious to confirm what I read.

Thanks

 

[MyBelle]

Boy I feel really ignorant. I thought the whole purpose of Crime Stoppers was to keep your identity anonymous from everyone, including police. Like a suggestion box. I thought the whole point was to avoid incriminating yourself from the law. How else would they get tips?
So I guess Crime stoppers is best if you have a clean record and simply don't want your civilian neighbors/fellow gang members to find out.

The whole point is to collect the reward but also to shield your identity from the perp so you and your family/friends won't experience retaliation. If you call police directly, you will not be able to collect any reward.

JMO

 

[Cedars]

The whole point is to collect the reward but also to shield your identity from the perp so you and your family/friends won't experience retaliation. If you call police directly, you will not be able to collect any reward.

JMO

I disagree, a big reason for anonymity is to avoid implicating yourself if you were associated with the crime, or even committed it.
Obviously, you'd then have to reveal yourself to collect the award, if it solves the case.

JMO

 

[Pyrite]

I disagree, a big reason for anonymity is to avoid implicating yourself if you were associated with the crime, or even committed it.
Obviously, you'd then have to reveal yourself to collect the award, if it solves the case.

JMO

From crime stoppers. Bolding their’s.
In order to receive a reward, you must remain anonymous. Do not include your identifying information in your tip.

If you are approved to receive a reward, Crime Stoppers has an anonymous reward system in place so you can receive your cash reward completely anonymously. DO NOT LOSE YOUR TIP NUMBER AND/OR PASSWORDS FOR THE TIPS YOU SUBMIT. THESE NUMBERS ARE THE ONLY WAY FOR US TO CONFIRM YOU SUBMITTED THE TIP AND GET YOU PAID!!!

How it Works - Crime Stoppers of Northeast Florida

Crime Stoppers utilizes modern technology to acquire anonymous online crime tips. You do not have to identify yourself, and may be eligible for a cash reward.

www.northeastflorida.crimestoppersweb.com

 

[amytothekate]

I disagree, a big reason for anonymity is to avoid implicating yourself if you were associated with the crime, or even committed it.
Obviously, you'd then have to reveal yourself to collect the award, if it solves the case.

JMO

Some information around rewards (BBM) from the Texas Crime Stoppers Operational Resource Manual:

Reward Eligibility

1. Any person, except those defined below as ineligible, who directly contacts Crime Stoppers and gives information which leads to the arrest and/or criminal charges filed against an adult or juvenile, or the arrest of a fugitive wanted for a felony crime, is eligible for a reward.
2. Under unique circumstances, where the purpose of Crime Stoppers is best served, and upon the coordinator’s specific, detailed request, a reward may be approved by the board and paid to a tipster prior to arrest, filing criminal charges, or fugitive apprehension.
3. Under unique circumstances, where the purpose of Crime Stoppers is best served, and upon the specific, detailed request of the law enforcement coordinator, a “reward pre-payment” may be approved by the board and paid to a tipster prior to the regular payment date.
4. Under rare circumstances, where the purpose of Crime Stoppers is best served, and has been approved by the board, a reward may be paid to a tipster, who provides information directly to a law enforcement officer. Examples include situations where the tipster was unable to reach Crime Stoppers and the information is of such immediacy that contact was made directly with a law enforcement officer. The tipster must notify the officer that an attempt was made to reach Crime Stoppers.
5. Under rare circumstances, where the purpose of Crime Stoppers may best be served, a reward may be approved by the board for a tipster where no felon’s arrest is, or can be made:
   1. 1.If the tipster is instrumental in property recovery,
   2. 2.If the tipster is instrumental in illegal narcotics recovery, or
   3. 3.If in the solution of a felony crime, the district attorney feels there is not sufficient evidence to file criminal charges, or criminal charges are dropped by a law enforcement officer’s recommendation, the payment is made based upon the coordinator’s specific detailed request.
6. The following persons are not eligible for a reward:
   1. Commissioned law enforcement officer and/or members of her immediate family;
   2. The crime’s perpetrator or co-perpetrator;
   3. The victim and/or his immediate family;
   4. The fugitive;
   5. Law enforcement informants funneled into the program;
   6. Board members, and
   7. Crime Stoppers staff.

If more than one person furnished information about the same crime or fugitive, the cash reward is divided as the board may determine, based primarily upon the tips relative importance.

Payment Methods

1. The board is responsible for approved reward payment method and timing. The treasurer or board designee shall make the payment available for pickup. The law enforcement coordinator or other law enforcement officers assigned to the program should not handle cash rewards or make reward payments.
2. The procedures for identifying a tipster generally include using the tipster’scode number,as well as a code word that is assigned at the time payment is confirmed. After following procedures designed to ensure that the payee is the correct person, the tipster is paid in cash to help preserve anonymity.
3. Generally, payments are not mailed or wired to tipsters within the local Crime Stoppers program’s service area.
4. Suggested procedures for reward payments:
   1. Month’s end serves as the deadline for all cases considered for reward payments.
   2. The board at its regularly scheduled monthly meeting considers the law enforcement coordinator’s recommendations for approval or disapproval.
   3. Once the rewards are approved, a check for the total approved monthly reward amount is issued payable to the financial institution where the reward fund is maintained. The check is given to the treasurer or other board designee immediately after the meeting for payment processing.
   4. The check is cashed and the cash placed in plain envelopes for each tipster.
   5. The envelope is marked with the tipster’scode number and code word. The code word is assigned after the reward is approved.
   6. The envelope for each tipsteris left with a specified supervisor at the bank.
   7. The drive-in teller at the bank is instructed on the specific procedures for making the reward payment.
   8. Reward payments are made on days specified by the board until such time as the board determines, at which time all unclaimed cash rewards are duly noted and re-deposited into the appropriate account.
   9. The law enforcement coordinator and/or law enforcement agency staff instruct tipsters that rewards must be picked up by within a specified time period.
   10. If a reward is unclaimed and is re-deposited in the bank account, the tipster must re-contact the Crime Stoppers program and make arrangements for payment.
5. Prepayment procedures:
   1. Prepayments are made when the tipster’s life is in danger.
   2. Prepayments are made when a tipster is involved in multiple cases and encourages continued information.
   3. Prepayments are made when a tipster has an emergency financial problem (behind in rent, car note due), is giving information on another case, and Crime Stoppers is best served.
   4. Prepayments are recommended by the law enforcement coordinator and approved by the board. The law enforcement coordinator notifies designated board members of all prepayment recommendations.
   5. Prepayments may require at least one full working day’s notice.
6. Procedures for cash reward payments made to tipsters outside the service area:
   1. If payment is made to a tipster in an area where there is not a Western Union office, a cashier’s check is purchased and mailed to the specified address in a registered, return-receipt requested, envelope.
   2. If payment is made to a tipster outside the service area, purchase a money order and deduct the cost from the reward. Note: Under either of the above methods, the tipster may have to reveal her identity and in such cases the tipster is fully advised. Consider in such cases to arrange payment to the tipster through a Crime Stoppers program in closer proximity.

 

[MyBelle]

I disagree, a big reason for anonymity is to avoid implicating yourself if you were associated with the crime, or even committed it.
Obviously, you'd then have to reveal yourself to collect the award, if it solves the case.

JMO

Crime stoppers assigns you a number. You have to call back to see if your tip solved the case and if so, they tell you to go to a bank to collect the reward.

We'll agree to disagree. I think only a fool would call with a tip that will result in their own arrest.

JMO

 

[housewife]

I've supplied a couple of the many links available with the facts:

A person can shame a victim and make that victim feel shame whether it is justified or not.

Strict societies successfully use shaming of individuals or classes as a form of social control.


[...]
Emotional abuse and shame go hand in hand—a perfect marriage, so to speak. Shame is a significant factor in emotional abuse since it is the primary damage caused by emotional abuse.

It is also the primary tool used by abusers and the source of emotionally abusive behavior in abusers.

[...]

Shaming slowly whittles away at the victim’s self-esteem and self-confidence and makes her question her perceptions and eventually, her very sanity. Weakened, worn down, and confused, the victim loses her ability to fight back.

[...]

Shame is by far the most destructive aspect of emotional abuse and it can be the most difficult to heal.


Why Shame Is the Most Damaging Aspect of Emotional Abuse


[...]
If you’re told these things often enough, you might start to tell yourself, for example, “I’m not worthy of love.” And holding onto feelings of unworthiness can be very damaging to your mental and physical health.

The Dangers of Toxic Shame

Shame is behind these two common symptoms:

• Withdrawal. You might want to curl up in a ball and disappear when you feel shame. Shame makes us feel like we’re not good enough, and all we want to do is hide away.
• Anger. Because you feel emotional pain, you become angry to try to aim your pain away from yourself.

Toxic shame has also been linked to substance abuse, eating disorders, and self-harm.
These unhealthy coping mechanisms can serve as an escape from your emotional pain or inability to face yourself. ‌

You may also become a perfectionist or have unrealistic expectations in your attempt to avoid being shamed again.

What Is Toxic Shame?



imo

These are great points.
I'm glad we are both concerned about domestic violence.

 

[Cedars]

Crime stoppers assigns you a number. You have to call back to see if your tip solved the case and if so, they tell you to go to a bank to collect the reward.

We'll agree to disagree. I think only a fool would call with a tip that will result in their own arrest.

JMO

I may have stated it badly.

IMO, the purpose of anonymity is not primarily to protect the informant, it is to generate good quality, accurate tips that will help solve crimes.

The most accurate, high quality info comes from associates in criminal enterprises. Those associates may or may not want protection from the perp. They definately don't want to reveal themselves to police.

For example, who will know someone is operating a drug business, better than a user or associate. Why they make a tip on the guy, whether they need 'protection', police don't care, just give us accurate info so we can bust him.

ETA: some killers want to ensure the body is discovered, for various reasons. Recall, for eg Gypsy Rose's FB posts. She'd have been better off reporting it to crimestoppers
JMO