Nicole Kidman

[angarella]

I have not one doubt in my mind that the "church" and/or Tom have threatened Nicole with something.. they are hanging something over her head, that is why she has just more or less handed over her children to Tom.

Flame me, choose not to believe me, hate me, call me an idiot who has no idea what I'm talking about but I'd bet my home AND my land on it.

I agree.

 

[Amraann]

I have not one doubt in my mind that the "church" and/or Tom have threatened Nicole with something.. they are hanging something over her head, that is why she has just more or less handed over her children to Tom.

Flame me, choose not to believe me, hate me, call me an idiot who has no idea what I'm talking about but I'd bet my home AND my land on it.

That probably makes the most sense of all.

 

[dolceaura]

I would like to add two points: In Nicoles interview she also stated that "Tom was a force to be reckoned with.." That leads me to believe that he is somewhat powerful either mentally or financially or both and that is why she does not fight him about the religion the children are raised in.. and in regards to adopted children, I do believe that in some families, if children of natural birth are born after a child/children have been adopted, if you are close enough to the person to find out the truth, you may learn that the parent or parents do have more of an emotional tie to the biological child. I am not saying this is the case with all, I am only saying this because I have first hand knowledge of two different mothers who have told me in the strictest confidence that after believing they could not have children naturally they adopted and then years later got pregnant naturally and find themselves feeling guilty because they really do love their biological children more...

 

[eve]

I have not one doubt in my mind that the "church" and/or Tom have threatened Nicole with something.. they are hanging something over her head, that is why she has just more or less handed over her children to Tom.

Flame me, choose not to believe me, hate me, call me an idiot who has no idea what I'm talking about but I'd bet my home AND my land on it.

I agree with this. I think if you read between the lines you can see it. I think Nic had to love and let go to a great degree, for the children's sake, and as I said before, she did so to keep some peace with that manic/maniac (mo) Tom, aka the Controller. I feel sad for her over this.

Also, the idea that a woman should forsake relationships for children and use children as her primary emotional sustenance is bunk, imo. Some women do this and I cringe for the children. When they leave, heaven help the woman.

Eve

 

[ljwf22]

I agree with this. I think if you read between the lines you can see it. I think Nic had to love and let go to a great degree, for the children's sake, and as I said before, she did so to keep some peace with that manic/maniac (mo) Tom, aka the Controller. I feel sad for her over this.

Also, the idea that a woman should forsake relationships for children and use children as her primary emotional sustenance is bunk, imo. Some women do this and I cringe for the children. When they leave, heaven help the woman.

Eve

I also agree. I've read where tom's sister (who lives at his house) home-schools Bella and Connor. But they attend the Scientology Center daily for 'socialization'.

 

[wildTrose]

Why does she NEED TO DATE? Why can't she raise her kids. WHY is she SO needy she HAS to have a man? She had a man, didn't want him...got another one. She should have gotten that all worked out BEFORE she had children. This is why kids are so screwed up today. Their parents think with their genitals.

Lonely you say? SHE HAS KIDS.
Needs affection? SHE HAS KIDS
Needs someone to tell her she's beautiful? READ HER FANMAIL.

why does she need to date? because she is an adult! Adults need adult conversations, adult friendships, romance etc.
Most everyone today has had a divorce, with and without children, when you marry someone you hope it is forever, but these days it rarely is. you cannot predict what will happen in the future. Im sure when she and tom adopted the kids they thought they would be together forever, they lasted 10 years which is a lifetime in hollywood years. things happen, people grow apart, people change for the worse...its worse to have the kids in an unhealthy relationship between mom and dad then it is to get them out of all the stress and see mom and dad happy alone or with someone else.

 

[Amraann]

why does she need to date? because she is an adult! Adults need adult conversations, adult friendships, romance etc.
Most everyone today has had a divorce, with and without children, when you marry someone you hope it is forever, but these days it rarely is. you cannot predict what will happen in the future. Im sure when she and tom adopted the kids they thought they would be together forever, they lasted 10 years which is a lifetime in hollywood years. things happen, people grow apart, people change for the worse...its worse to have the kids in an unhealthy relationship between mom and dad then it is to get them out of all the stress and see mom and dad happy alone or with someone else.

I am sorry but I respectfully disagree with most of the above.

People should not rush into marriage or have children if its not forever.
Mom's and Dad's need to stop thinking about marriage as a temporary situation and work harder to make it work IMO.
Of course not if there is abuse but short of that people in general need to work harder to make the commitment work.

I do think Nicole as a mother and like waaay to many rushed into marriage as did Tom.
Parent's can divorce but their social lives and needs after having children needs to take a back seat.
I am sorry if as an adult Mommy feels like she needs a life to freakin bad then she should not have had kids.
I don't think women should bring strange men into a home with children for a very long time until after they know them very very well.

 

[narlacat]

I am sorry but I respectfully disagree with most of the above.

People should not rush into marriage or have children if its not forever.
Mom's and Dad's need to stop thinking about marriage as a temporary situation and work harder to make it work IMO.
Of course not if there is abuse but short of that people in general need to work harder to make the commitment work.

I do think Nicole as a mother and like waaay to many rushed into marriage as did Tom.
Parent's can divorce but their social lives and needs after having children needs to take a back seat.
I am sorry if as an adult Mommy feels like she needs a life to freakin bad then she should not have had kids.
I don't think women should bring strange men into a home with children for a very long time until after they know them very very well.

Am Am Am!

God help you if you ever separate or divorce!

*advertiser censored* happens ya know- what? because someone has kids and has gone through divorce they should never date again??
That's totally ridiculous!!!
You may find kids stimulating and the be all and end all- but for alot of people hanging out with kids all the time is just not enough- and to say a person shouldn't date if they are divorced and has kids is a naive and unrealistic point of view.

 

[wildTrose]

Am Am Am!

God help you if you ever separate or divorce!

*advertiser censored* happens ya know- what? because someone has kids and has gone through divorce they should never date again??:doh:
That's totally ridiculous!!!
You may find kids stimulating and the be all and end all- but for alot of people hanging out with kids all the time is just not enough- and to say a person shouldn't date if they are divorced and has kids is a naive and unrealistic point of view.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Most people do take time after a divorce before they are ready to move on and start dating, others had already left the marriage emotionally before it ended and start sooner.
I think anyone who wont move on and all they do is stay focused on the kids until they are out of high school, and then they make the excuse well they are still in college they still need me, and then another excuse after college, im too old to date, or by then its the grandkids need me, so they never find out what true happiness is because they were afraid to try again.
how healthy is that for their kids? seeing mom and dad happy, make the kids happy, healthy, and better adjusted to have their own healthy, long marriage.

 

[Amraann]

Am Am Am!

God help you if you ever separate or divorce!

*advertiser censored* happens ya know- what? because someone has kids and has gone through divorce they should never date again??
That's totally ridiculous!!!
You may find kids stimulating and the be all and end all- but for alot of people hanging out with kids all the time is just not enough- and to say a person shouldn't date if they are divorced and has kids is a naive and unrealistic point of view.

I believe you misunderstood my post.

Where is it I said they should never date?

What I actually said was their social life needs to take a back seat.. NOT stop.
Furthermore there is more to socializing with other adults then dating or shacking up with some guy you don't really know.
To many rush into such things and the results are often not good.
The reality is that parents need to stop being selfish..
Once you commit to having a child then its really no longer about your own wants and needs and desires its about whats best for their children.
I really don't care if that makes for a lack luster social life or it is inconvenient .... too bad....
If a guy is worth it and a decent person I would think he would totally understand a mom's inability to go out all the time and her desire to not expose him to her children until they know each other well.

 

[sandraladeda]

I cannot comprehend being a mother yet living in another country from my children. Owning real estate in the US is not the same as making the US her home.

I am Canadian. If I married an Aussie and made a home there with my husband, had children together, then divorced, there is no level of homesickness for Canada that would make me move back to Canada and away from my children. I would be in their lives, daily or at least weekly (subject to custody orders, of course) I have flown between Sydney and LA, it was about a 15 hour flight. When you live on the other side of the world, you are not able to get to your children's side when they need you. Children always need their parents!

I find it a very odd decision for a parent to move to the other side of the world from her children. It doesnt appear to me to be a decision that puts the children first.

imo

 

[eve]

I believe you misunderstood my post.

Where is it I said they should never date?

What I actually said was their social life needs to take a back seat.. NOT stop.
Furthermore there is more to socializing with other adults then dating or shacking up with some guy you don't really know.
To many rush into such things and the results are often not good.
The reality is that parents need to stop being selfish..
Once you commit to having a child then its really no longer about your own wants and needs and desires its about whats best for their children.
I really don't care if that makes for a lack luster social life or it is inconvenient .... too bad....
If a guy is worth it and a decent person I would think he would totally understand a mom's inability to go out all the time and her desire to not expose him to her children until they know each other well.

Well I waited six years post-divorce to marry again. My 3 kids were ready and so was I. It would not have been best for them for me to get my emotional sustenance strictly from them. They love their dad and they love their step-dad. Two different roles. Both are important to them. They are glad I am happy and have a life mate. It takes a lot of pressure off them! I could sometimes see my oldest struggle with me being alone. He did feel very protective and we joke now that he wanted to kill every man who asked me out in the beginning! However, he was inadvertantly taking on the role of "man of the house" at 16 - not healthy. I always dated on weekends they were with their dad and didn't introduce them to a man until it was a steady thing. There were only 2 steadies - the second one, I married after 2 years of dating. Their dad has not remarried and imo the kids worry about his loneliness all the time. He also micromanages them - I think he needs a life and so do they!

Also - who says Nic's kids don't know Keith well - how do we know how careful Nic was about introducing the kids to him? Just because he had a relapse, he is condemned as a step-father? Maybe the kids will learn from it and admire him at the same time - for overcoming a tough addiction.

Also, Tom dumped Nic! I feel for her. Tom has somehow restricted her access to her kids, I think it's obvious. She's trying to make the best of it and move on with her life. Tom's the jerk in this, if you ask me.

Eve

 

[Amraann]

Well I waited six years post-divorce to marry again. My 3 kids were ready and so was I. It would not have been best for them for me to get my emotional sustenance strictly from them. They love their dad and they love their step-dad. Two different roles. Both are important to them. They are glad I am happy and have a life mate. It takes a lot of pressure off them! I could sometimes see my oldest struggle with me being alone. He did feel very protective and we joke now that he wanted to kill every man who asked me out in the beginning! However, he was inadvertantly taking on the role of "man of the house" at 16 - not healthy. I always dated on weekends they were with their dad and didn't introduce them to a man until it was a steady thing. There were only 2 steadies - the second one, I married after 2 years of dating. Their dad has not remarried and imo the kids worry about his loneliness all the time. He also micromanages them - I think he needs a life and so do they!

Also - who says Nic's kids don't know Keith well - how do we know how careful Nic was about introducing the kids to him? Just because he had a relapse, he is condemned as a step-father? Maybe the kids will learn from it and admire him at the same time - for overcoming a tough addiction.

Also, Tom dumped Nic! I feel for her. Tom has somehow restricted her access to her kids, I think it's obvious. She's trying to make the best of it and move on with her life. Tom's the jerk in this, if you ask me.

Eve

Well obviously you felt that best for your children and your description does not imply that you rushed .... 6 years?
Why is it that people take offense to the notion that one should not rush into a relationship or protect their children first and foremost???

 

[eve]

Well obviously you felt that best for your children and your description does not imply that you rushed .... 6 years?
Why is it that people take offense to the notion that one should not rush into a relationship or protect their children first and foremost???

Am, I don't take offense at all! I just don't understand the Dr. Laura point of view that remarriage is virtually always awful for the children. Rushing is foolish, I agree. But in Nic's case, Tom brought Katie in first, didn't he? The kids seem to be with him more. He didn't even marry Katie until after she gave birth. That's more an issue for me, if you're thinking about the example he set for his children. But that's another issue about which I suppose I am a dinosauer. I don't think children should be the center of their parents' world. It is not in their best interests. I believe in family-centered, not children-centered, if that makes sense.

Eve

 

[narlacat]

I believe you misunderstood my post.

Where is it I said they should never date?

What I actually said was their social life needs to take a back seat.. NOT stop.
Furthermore there is more to socializing with other adults then dating or shacking up with some guy you don't really know.
To many rush into such things and the results are often not good.
The reality is that parents need to stop being selfish..
Once you commit to having a child then its really no longer about your own wants and needs and desires its about whats best for their children.
I really don't care if that makes for a lack luster social life or it is inconvenient .... too bad....
If a guy is worth it and a decent person I would think he would totally understand a mom's inability to go out all the time and her desire to not expose him to her children until they know each other well.

Am, I did not misunderstand your post lol- I know what you said

<<I am sorry if as an adult Mommy feels like she needs a life to freakin bad then she should not have had kids>>

If a woman has a kid and is divorced, she shouldnt have a life is what that sentence says- that is ridiculous.

 

[michelle]

Am, I did not misunderstand your post lol- I know what you said

<<I am sorry if as an adult Mommy feels like she needs a life to freakin bad then she should not have had kids>>

If a woman has a kid and is divorced, she shouldnt have a life is what that sentence says- that is ridiculous.

As sad as it is, crap does happen. People get divorced ALL THE TIME, they should be able to have a life after divorce. However as long as the children come first, I think that its great!

 

[narlacat]

As sad as it is, crap does happen. People get divorced ALL THE TIME, they should be able to have a life after divorce. However as long as the children come first, I think that its great!

Yes, the kids need to come first always but not so much that they rule your life.

Kids are adaptable and there is aboslutely nothing wrong with having another relationship if you have kids and are separated or divorced.

 

[fundiva]

Well obviously you felt that best for your children and your description does not imply that you rushed .... 6 years?
Why is it that people take offense to the notion that one should not rush into a relationship or protect their children first and foremost???

I don't believe Nicole rushed either. It was about 6 years after her divorce that she remarried. Also, in all the interviews I have heard of her recently, she describes her home as Nashville, where Keith had a house. I don't believe she lives in Australia for long lengths of time.

 

[pedinurse]

Katie Holmes was also a catholic... and I remember when she was coverting (I consider it converting) that she said "well, you can be catholic and scientologist at the same time!"

Tell that to your parents, honey!

I think that they probably had a prenup in the beginning that she signed saying "I agree that the kids will be Scientologists". I also agree with the previous poster who brought up the "Tom is a force to be reckoned with" quote and that they MUST have something over her head or she would have put up a fight. Gosh, I just think he did her wrong through that breakup. But I guess if the kids are well adjusted... which I hope they are... it's all for the best.

 

[michelle]

Yes, the kids need to come first always but not so much that they rule your life.

Kids are adaptable and there is aboslutely nothing wrong with having another relationship if you have kids and are separated or divorced.

I agree, however I think kids should come first no matter what. JMO
Narla, should I correct your Grammar? LOL, or Grammer????