Found Deceased NJ - Mark Schlegel, 57, Oradell, 13 Aug 2017

[Songbird171]

I remember being very depressed in my 20s and hoping I would get hit by a car. I was in a dark place. I thought about dying a lot. I think these dark thoughts are more common than people speak about

 

[Songbird171]

So sorry songbird 😓 prayers for you

Thanks Faith

 

[Gone Girl]

I remember being very depressed in my 20s and hoping I would get hit by a car. I was in a dark place. I thought about dying a lot. I think these dark thoughts are more common than people speak about

Songbird, I am so sorry. Sometimes these incidents cause us to reflect and become despondent with our own lives. Try not to let this consume you. These things can not be predicted or truly explained. Even if we had the reasons why, it may never make sense. I find that it's never about what it's about. It just is. I think you will understand this. Please go outside and try to enjoy the day. Get away from this for a while. I need to do the same. I will be back later (for what that's worth). Please talk this over with someone if you need to. Anyone.

 

[DAMages]

I'm confused why people think suicide is so far fetched in this case. I figured by this point in the thread we've all come to terms with the fact sometime people hide their struggles and just because we think someone could never do something, they very well may.

I don't think it's the idea of suicide that seems strange -- I've known so many family members and friends that have struggled with severe depression, including some that eventually took their own lives. I know well it can be anyone, at any time, and there but for the grace of God go any of us. My respect and care to all of you in the midst of that struggle.

I think it's just the circumstances that feel unusual -- the busy road, the small stand of bushes, the idea of taking a fatal dose of pills and walking off down a sidewalk to die. Obviously not impossible, and the investigators know best. But still unusual.

 

[esldanmac]

I can only speak for myself bears but the reasons I was surprised with Mark taking his own life were 1. Where is the body? Usually suicide folks tend to do it somewhere comfortable and to not find the body for 11 days is extraordinary. 2. Suicide tends to be an impulsive act. This seems quite well planned. 3. I just didn't read him as suicidal. I didn't see any stressors (divorce, job loss, death of a spouse/child/parent). And of course whenever we see someone we can relate to we think if it could happen to him it could happen to me.

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[cocomod]

I am not positive that this was suicide, but it seems like it is leaning in that direction. RIP Mark

I always have a hard time on suicide pages. I have a hard time on pages where it seems like suicide is a possibility. My ex-husband's brother committed suicide. I remember the call so vividly still today and it was 14 years ago. Then, my ex-husband "disappeared" for 2 days - he also attempted suicide.

My brother-in-law had a stable great paying job, he played golf regularly, he had a wonderful relationship with his wife, he had money in the bank, he had beautiful children, and he was just starting to have beautiful grandchildren. There was NO outward appearance to anyone that he had stressors. What most people outside of his immediately family did not know is that he suffered from depression for 25 years. It all started with a back injury. It was a complete shock to almost everyone when he took his own life. He did leave notes for his wife and children. He had "attempted" 2 other times. NOONE knew but his wife and daughter.

My ex-husband was SO angry at his brother. He NEVER understood how he could do something so terrible, so selfish. Then... he also attempted 12 years later.

I don't think anyone can predict a suicidal person every time. We just can't know what is going on in someone's mind and heart. I pray for his family. It is most devastating for the living. The person's pain is over, but the pain that the family is left with is ever enduring.

 

[LoveXinfinity]

Unfortunately depression and suicide together provide very few answers and leave a lot of questions. Depression is a silent killer and it's hurts my heart to think about people who suffered in silence. One thing I've learned in life is outward appearances can be very, very deceiving. Society is quick to assume if you're attractive, your spouse is attractive, you have beautiful offspring, a great career, money in the bank and is well respected in your community that those things equate happiness. This is probably one of the top reasons depression is "missed" by friends & family because it was assumed based on what people "saw" that the person was happy. As much as I don't want to believe it was suicide too much points to suicide, I do believe it was suicide brought on by depression he successfully concealed for years. May he R.I.P.

 

[Songbird171]

I live in the neighboring town and the buzz is that while it is going to be ruled a suicide something isn't sitting right. You must understand he wasn't in the WOODS. He was in BUSHES on the side of one of the busiest roads in Bergen county very close to a bus stop where people walk. We had a heat wave. Locals (myself included) do not understand how he went undetected for 11 days (though newer reports say he was there several days or longer so he may not have been there at first).

The police did an extensive search with dogs on August 15th and missed him?

Hmm

 

[Songbird171]

This whole thing has made me want to reach out to people and tell them I love them. So I did I texted a few friends the past two nights. And nobody writes back. Sad. We are all connected in our phones and Internet but utterly alone.

 

[esldanmac]

Xo to you Songbird. I've been thinking of you and can feel your pain through the phone. You have made the case personal for us and have local information that we don't often get here at websleuths. I hope you will keep us updated with info you hear through the local grapevine. I am especially interested in toxicology reports. Ok, here is my new theory. Mark had a pain pill problem. His doctor, realizing this, cut him off and he had to look elsewhere for his fix. Unknowingly he bought fentanyl and misjudged and took too much, passed out and fell into the bushes.

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[Spider92]

I live in the neighboring town and the buzz is that while it is going to be ruled a suicide something isn't sitting right. You must understand he wasn't in the WOODS. He was in BUSHES on the side of one of the busiest roads in Bergen county very close to a bus stop where people walk. We had a heat wave. Locals (myself included) do not understand how he went undetected for 11 days (though newer reports say he was there several days or longer so he may not have been there at first).

The police did an extensive search with dogs on August 15th and missed him?

Hmm

It seems to me, having read way too many mystery novels, that a decent ME would be able to tell if the body had been moved post mortem - something about pooling of the blood due to gravity and so forth.
We had a case in MA - I think it was May - where a college aged kid went missing after a party - they did an exhaustive search with dogs and turned up nothing. Days later he was found something like 200 feet from the party house. Speculation was that the body was moved but that did not turn out to be the case.
I do agree this is odd. Is the area where he was found residential? I.e. Would people have been waliking their dogs in the area? To me, that's when he would have been discovered - a dog walker going right by.

 

[Songbird171]

It seems to me, having read way too many mystery novels, that a decent ME would be able to tell if the body had been moved post mortem - something about pooling of the blood due to gravity and so forth.
We had a case in MA - I think it was May - where a college aged kid went missing after a party - they did an exhaustive search with dogs and turned up nothing. Days later he was found something like 200 feet from the party house. Speculation was that the body was moved but that did not turn out to be the case.
I do agree this is odd. Is the area where he was found residential? I.e. Would people have been waliking their dogs in the area? To me, that's when he would have been discovered - a dog walker going right by.

It is a residential area but a main road heavily trafficked. The police did a search with dogs in that area a few days after he disappeared. The dogs only alerted to a bus stop half a block away.

 

[bears10]

<modsnip> I understand this is a very hard time for the community, and that it's probably easier to blame foul play as opposed to suicide, but I really see no proof of foul play. He could have not committed suicide right away and that's why his scent wasn't picked up right away. Or, the dogs just aren't that reliable.

Maybe he left a note and that's why LE was quick to say suicide.

 

[cutter99]

I think what people need to remember is that the police know a whole lot more about what has gone on in this case than what has been released to the public. They would not have made a statement concerning suicide if they were not fairly certain that was the cause.

I also don't believe it was released to the public initially that he and his wife had an argument before he left the house. For all we know, he could have had a history of depression that was not made public to save face.

Until we can combat depression successfully on a large scale, we will continue to loss valuable people to suicide. Until we talk about suicide openly, it will continue to happen. I say this as a person who has experienced depression and as someone who has lost a family member to suicide.

 

[Songbird171]

I think what people need to remember is that the police know a whole lot more about what has gone on in this case than what has been released to the public. They would not have made a statement concerning suicide if they were not fairly certain that was the cause.

I also don't believe it was released to the public initially that he and his wife had an argument before he left the house. For all we know, he could have had a history of depression that was not made public to save face.

Until we can combat depression successfully on a large scale, we will continue to loss valuable people to suicide. Until we talk about suicide openly, it will continue to happen. I say this as a person who has experienced depression and as someone who has lost a family member to suicide.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are so right. The stigma of depression needs to be lifted.

 

[Sweetgrits]

http://paramus.dailyvoice.com/polic...t-found-near-home-in-apparent-suicide/719906/

Given the body's condition, an autopsy by the Bergen County Medical Examiner would have to officially determine the cause of death.
However, the veteran investigator said: "We're not sure if it was pills or what, but it isn't suspicious."

1) Given the body's condition Bergen County Medical Examiner would have to officially determine the cause of death. (Meaning there was NO obvious signs of trauma no gunshot wounds, and he was not hit by a car).

2) "We're not sure if it was pills or what, but it isn't suspicious." (No one seems to know what he had in the bag when he left, there could have been pills in that bag, we don't know only the investigators know. If the veteran investigator mentioned pills, then it must be based on something they found with the body and I am assuming they did find empty pill bottles. The veteran investigator stated not sure if it was pills or what because until they do an autopsy and tissue sample they won't know for sure).

Otherwise off the bat if no pill bottles were there they would have said looks like natural causes or something else but we won't know yet.

You have to read between the lines of what the authorities mentioned. Like it or not a Veteran Investigator is not pulling the pills out of the sky. It is based on years of his experience. Maybe his wife also told authorities he left with a bag of pills, we do not know that either.

My neighbor a successful business man made 300k a year, a beautiful wife with a career 3 grown educated gentlemen sons. His wife went to breakfast with her mother called her husband asked he wanted her to bring a sandwich home for him, he said yes Turkey, 20 minutes later she came home he hung himself from the staircase, Who knew? People that suffer from depression problems snap on a dime and kill themselves. I never saw it coming he had everything to live for, he was charming, outgoing and successful.

Actually a veteran investigator shouldn't have speculated on a manner of death. He really should have just stated the medical examiner would determine COD and left it at that. Of course JMO

 

[Songbird171]

I live in the area and most of us still can't shake the feeling that something is amiss. They did an extensive search with dogs two days after he disappeared in our neighborhood and he wasn't deep in woods he was in a (slightly) wooded area off of a main road. They say he died on August 13th (the day he disappeared) in one article. There's no way the dogs wouldn't have found him them or even a person walking by or walking their dog it wasn't the woods. Furthermore...who walks three blocks from their house, hides in the bushes, and takes pills and waits in bushes until they take affect? Trust me when the town believes either he hasn't killed himself yet and did not die on August 13th or his body was dumped there and he was mirdered and it was made to look like a suicide. A veteran investigator in that town doesn't have much experience with shady cases so years of experience in this sleepy town means nada. Something is not right. And I'm not the only one who feels this way.

 

[esldanmac]

I live in the area and most of us still can't shake the feeling that something is amiss. They did an extensive search with dogs two days after he disappeared in our neighborhood and he wasn't deep in woods he was in a (slightly) wooded area off of a main road. They say he died on August 13th (the day he disappeared) in one article. There's no way the dogs wouldn't have found him them or even a person walking by or walking their dog it wasn't the woods. Furthermore...who walks three blocks from their house, hides in the bushes, and takes pills and waits in bushes until they take affect? Trust me when the town believes either he hasn't killed himself yet and did not die on August 13th or his body was dumped there and he was mirdered and it was made to look like a suicide. A veteran investigator in that town doesn't have much experience with shady cases so years of experience in this sleepy town means nada. Something is not right. And I'm not the only one who feels this way.

So glad to hear from you Songbird but sorry to hear you haven't found any peace regarding Mark and his passing. [emoji26]

This case has stuck with me. I was so sure he was a walk away that would be found in a couple of days.

The one thing I cannot explain is why he wasn't detected for 10 days. It was hot and humid in that area and the longest he would go without really smelling would be 3-4 days. I have looked at the location online and while its not 5th Avenue its not a country road either. There is a sidewalk and the area looks like it would have many families with dogs who have a sensitive sense of smell. I cannot explain it.

I really only want you to read this Songbird because its just speculation and his family seems so good and normal but if I were watching an episode of Dateline I would suggest foul play. And that tends to be someone close to the person. So he would have to have been killed and kept in one place and then dumped at a later date which is possible but awfully risky.

I have to believe there will be an autopsy and certainly there will be rumors going around in that small town of yours. If there is foul play I am sure they will find it. LE must know more than they are saying. The thing I would be most interested in knowing was the tox report. Please let us know if you hear anything and stay positive. Xo

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[njdna]

So very sad. Just learned this morning of this sweet man's death. I have been traveling and missed this news which I had followed. His disappearance was so mysterious.
My thought is that the victim took a significant amount of pain medication or even an anti-anxiolytic like Xanax at his home and in the little bag was a bottle of water, additional meds and potentially, notes to his wife and children (hopeful). I AM NOT INFERRING AT ALL THAT HE HAD AN ADDICTION ISSUE. I think it was an intersection of depression or anxiety and opportunity, with medication in a cabinet, available to him.
People need to get rid of all pain meds, in particular. My relative and his 3 best friends from high school....all athletes and student leaders from intact families, with involved parents, ....have all been to rehab and relapsed...and it all started with one of the boys taking an abundance of pain pills left over from his mother's breast cancer treatment.....and bringing them to a party to share. They started with those.... and ended up where you can imagine....with the most heartbreaking addiction out there, all too common these days. I digress, and apologize, but only to remind people to get rid of or hide meds that can be problematic, just as you would a gun. Of course no one in his family, IF my hypothesis is accurate, would ever think to put them away, with his sunny and positive personality. They are not to blame. I have just lived the nightmare that pain meds can cause, when used inappropriately and suggest safeguarding them with a vengeance. We have them in our house, but they are very well hidden.
Anyway, if someone in the family had shingles, an outpatient surgery....just about anything....and even something that seems as innocuous as Percoset was prescribed, it's possible the victim took a # of them in a moment of desperation/decline/impulsivity and left the house and got as far as those bushes and just lay down and died. That would explain walking with purpose. He wanted to get somewhere where he could do just that. Lie down in a spot where he could end his pain privately and just go to sleep. Perhaps the timing was off and he could not get to the private spot he planned, because he became too sedated. I hope it would be a relief and balm to his family, if this was a non-violent suicide. Looking for something comforting in this terribly painful story.
I do hope he left notes; the unknown is so much more painful. I am heartbroken for his family and friends. I think his decision has absolutely nothing to do with his family and his love for them or even his love of life. Suicide is what it is: an impulsive act (even if it seems planned), when one is overcome with anxiety/stress/depression/hopelessness. It has nothing to do with love, commitment, devotion, etc. Rest in peace. I am so sad for his wife and children and parents.

 

[FaithHope]

So very sad. Just learned this morning of this sweet man's death. I have been traveling and missed this news which I had followed. His disappearance was so mysterious.
My thought is that the victim took a significant amount of pain medication or even an anti-anxiolytic like Xanax at his home and in the little bag was a bottle of water, additional meds and potentially, notes to his wife and children (hopeful). I AM NOT INFERRING AT ALL THAT HE HAD AN ADDICTION ISSUE. I think it was an intersection of depression or anxiety and opportunity, with medication in a cabinet, available to him.
People need to get rid of all pain meds, in particular. My relative and his 3 best friends from high school....all athletes and student leaders from intact families, with involved parents, ....have all been to rehab and relapsed...and it all started with one of the boys taking an abundance of pain pills left over from his mother's breast cancer treatment.....and bringing them to a party to share. They started with those.... and ended up where you can imagine....with the most heartbreaking addiction out there, all too common these days. I digress, and apologize, but only to remind people to get rid of or hide meds that can be problematic, just as you would a gun. Of course no one in his family, IF my hypothesis is accurate, would ever think to put them away, with his sunny and positive personality. They are not to blame. I have just lived the nightmare that pain meds can cause, when used inappropriately and suggest safeguarding them with a vengeance. We have them in our house, but they are very well hidden.
Anyway, if someone in the family had shingles, an outpatient surgery....just about anything....and even something that seems as innocuous as Percoset was prescribed, it's possible the victim took a # of them in a moment of desperation/decline/impulsivity and left the house and got as far as those bushes and just lay down and died. That would explain walking with purpose. He wanted to get somewhere where he could do just that. Lie down in a spot where he could end his pain privately and just go to sleep. Perhaps the timing was off and he could not get to the private spot he planned, because he became too sedated. I hope it would be a relief and balm to his family, if this was a non-violent suicide. Looking for something comforting in this terribly painful story.
I do hope he left notes; the unknown is so much more painful. I am heartbroken for his family and friends. I think his decision has absolutely nothing to do with his family and his love for them or even his love of life. Suicide is what it is: an impulsive act (even if it seems planned), when one is overcome with anxiety/stress/depression/hopelessness. It has nothing to do with love, commitment, devotion, etc. Rest in peace. I am so sad for his wife and children and parents.

I can't seem to get this poor man and his family/friends out of my mind... I keep replaying him walking from his house with a sense of determination and focus over and over in my mind and now knowing the tragedy of where he was headed with such focus and the pain he must have been carrying in his heart and the desperation and tragic desire he had to be free from that pain... I've been in his place, but thankfully never followed through.
I agree with you njdna... suicide can seem planned but really it is rather impulsive - a sudden desperate need to be free from the pain. I've been thinking the same thing, that he had taken some sort of pills before he left his house and had a planned endpoint and that he wasn't able to arrive at and had to just walk into those bushes in confused exhaustion to lay down. And I, too, have been thinking the bag contained pills, water and hoping it had notes for his family. So they know it's not their fault, that what he chose to do didn't change his love for them. He just tragically chose to escape.
This world makes talking openly about mental health a very awkward thing. It makes those suffering with depression want to stay quiet. Especially if you LOOK HAPPY and put together and successful on the outside. Happiness isn't found in material things of this world. We need to be able to speak as openly about depression and suicide as we do cancer and heart disease. Because there is treatment and suicide and further loss of friends and family can be avoided. imho