Found Deceased NJ - Mark Schlegel, 57, Oradell, 13 Aug 2017

[LoveXinfinity]

So strange that he was found right off a main road when a more wooded area was right behind the Care One building

http://www.northjersey.com/story/ne...ent-agent-found-oradell-police-say/599459001/

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If there were indeed pills in the gift bag he was seen with, which hasn't been confirmed then it's possible he had started taking pills before he left his home and proceeded to take pills wherever he eventually ended up and died. For the sake of his family, I hope somewhere down the line they find a suicide note because I cannot imagine the pain knowing a loved one took their life, but having no idea why they did.

 

[esldanmac]

If there were indeed pills in the gift bag he was seen with, which hasn't been confirmed then it's possible he had started taking pills before he left his home and proceeded to take pills wherever he eventually ended up and died. For the sake of his family, I hope somewhere down the line they find a suicide note because I cannot imagine the pain knowing a loved one took their life, but having no idea why they did.

Only about 1 in 3 people who commit suicide leave notes and I am not sure there is anything anyone could say to make someone feel better. Just sad.

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[bears10]

As much as I'd like to say law enforcement dropped the ball, they did the best to their abilities. I was telling my boyfriend who lives in the south about the story and he was astonished how law enforcement missed the body in the search. He mentioned maybe during the initial search the body wasn't there which is possible, but let's be real, how often does the Oradell PD or any other PD in a surrounding jurisdiction deal with legit missing person cases? I'm sure with the low crime rate the most they deal with is a routine traffic stop.

I totally agree that LE didn't necessarily drop the ball. I grew up in a NJ town a bit more populated and affluent than oradell, but upper middle class small towns in NJ are all pretty similar. I can say with confidence, personally knowing many of the officers in said town, they have basically zero experience trying to locate missing persons. It's not like NYPD who has to deal with this type of situation all the time. Instead, they are used to pulling people over for going 10 MPH over the speed limit, or breaking up loud teenage parties. I don't think they necessarily "dropped the ball", I just don't think they have much field experience in this type of situation.

 

[flute4peace]

I am so sad about this. He was so kind and had this beautiful energy about him. I hope he is at peace now and I pray for his family.

So sorry. Sending prayers for his family.

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[DAMages]

I feel unconvinced that this is definitely suicide. I mean, who crouches in the bushes by the side of a busy road and kills himself? It seems equally likely that he had a medical event and collapsed there. Either way, it seems odd that no one saw him fall or crawl into the bushes on a busy street in the middle of the afternoon. Can anyone share street view images of the spot?

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[LoveXinfinity]

I feel unconvinced that this is definitely suicide. I mean, who crouches in the bushes by the side of a busy road and kills himself? It seems equally likely that he had a medical event and collapsed there. Either way, it seems odd that no one saw him fall or crawl into the bushes on a busy street in the middle of the afternoon. Can anyone share street view images of the spot?

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Can we share pics from google maps? I have pics. Or is that taboo on this site. I'm a newbie.

 

[LoveXinfinity]

Only about 1 in 3 people who commit suicide leave notes and I am not sure there is anything anyone could say to make someone feel better. Just sad.

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True, but I'd rather know than to speculate the rest of my living days why. It wouldn't make the pain & anguish easier, but it would answer the big why? We're assuming it's depression but it could have been a reason he was depressed: financial woes, an affair, failing business, troubled marriage, homosexuality.

 

[chinacat67]

I feel unconvinced that this is definitely suicide. I mean, who crouches in the bushes by the side of a busy road and kills himself? It seems equally likely that he had a medical event and collapsed there. Either way, it seems odd that no one saw him fall or crawl into the bushes on a busy street in the middle of the afternoon. Can anyone share street view images of the spot?

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Took pills at home. 6 blocks. Felt sleepy, found dense enough bushes that may have been already scoped out as place "to lie down"... just one plausible explanation. Very sorry about the outcome [emoji17]

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[bears10]

True, but I'd rather know than to speculate the rest of my living days why. It wouldn't make the pain & anguish easier, but it would answer the big why? We're assuming it's depression but it could have been a reason he was depressed: financial woes, an affair, failing business, troubled marriage, homosexual.

That's very true. It might not have been depression at all. Others noticed the change in his looks on social media recently. Stress is a mother and can take a major toll. It might not have been depression, it could have been many other issues and he felt like this was the only way to deal with the struggle. Very sad. There are always ways to get through things, but in the midst of it sometimes it's hard to remember that everything will all be okay eventually.

 

[bears10]

I feel unconvinced that this is definitely suicide. I mean, who crouches in the bushes by the side of a busy road and kills himself? It seems equally likely that he had a medical event and collapsed there. Either way, it seems odd that no one saw him fall or crawl into the bushes on a busy street in the middle of the afternoon. Can anyone share street view images of the spot?

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I have a strong feeling LE has a reason they mentioned pills and suicide. Like another poster said, I doubt he crouched in a bush and ODed right there. He could have went off to a peaceful area to think, took the pills, and wandered off towards the bush.

I'm confused why people think suicide is so far fetched in this case. I figured by this point in the thread we've all come to terms with the fact sometime people hide their struggles and just because we think someone could never do something, they very well may.

 

[esldanmac]

I am sure we will never know the why and we probably won't hear the results of the autopsy but one theory I had from almost the begininng was if it could be a Robin Williams situation. I know nothing but it would make sense for this man who seemed to have everything going for him. I don't think he just dropped dead in the bushes hidden from people for 11 days. Xo to you bears and remember to take time for you. You are worth it.

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[bears10]

I am sure we will never know the why and we probably won't hear the results of the autopsy but one theory I had from almost the begininng was if it could be a Robin Williams situation. I know nothing but it would make sense for this man who seemed to have everything going for him. I don't think he just dropped dead in the bushes hidden from people for 11 days. Xo to you bears and remember to take time for you. You are worth it.

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Robin Williams is a really good comparison. It seems weird to say that bc it's a tragedy but it was so unexpected in the eyes of the public.

Thank you sweetie. I am good, just sometimes exhausted with dealing with everyone's stress. I have zero intentions of making a permanent solution to temporary problems. Life is good, I am so fortunate 😊

 

[pamelado2]

I feel unconvinced that this is definitely suicide. I mean, who crouches in the bushes by the side of a busy road and kills himself? It seems equally likely that he had a medical event and collapsed there. Either way, it seems odd that no one saw him fall or crawl into the bushes on a busy street in the middle of the afternoon. Can anyone share street view images of the spot?

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It's 600-660 kinderkamack rd oradell nj 07649
Between those 2 businesses.
If you look at the article I posted there are a lot of street pics.

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[pamelado2]

Also he may have chosen that spot thinking he would have been found fairly soon - so his family wouldn't be going crazy looking for him. And then it turns out it was not that well traveled of an area. (Even though a bus stop is just yards away)

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[FaithHope]

I hate it too. I think a lot of times families say that because 1) they don't want to believe that could be the outcome and 2) they don't want people to take the case less seriously if they think it's a suicide

I could be depressed, a drug addict, in an abusive situation, etc and my coworkers, clients and neighbors wouldn't know if I'm good at putting on a show - which many people in those situations are pros at doing. People can be very good at putting on a happy face even when their lives are less than happy. I urge everyone to please never assume that someone would "never do that"- be it suicide, abandoning their family, committing a crime, etc.

First, I am just so heartbroken for Mark's family and friends, such devastating news.
Second, thank you so much bears10 and gonegirl for your words! I was raised in an abusive home and then married an abusive man. And I thought it was all normal. So it was my "duty" to put on a happy face for the world even though something felt very broken. I didn't recognize any of it as abuse until I was 26 years old. I have had major clinical depression my entire life and had been very suicidal as a child and as an adult. Finally in the past 5 or so years, the suicidal notions have thankfully left me and my depression is being controlled with medication and is something I battle every day. Friends and family and new acquaintances are always shocked about my reality, because I am an absolute expert with putting on a happy face, yet most people in my life have no idea of the intense emotional pain I experience every day. Depression is a scary place to be and it can cause you to do irrational things to escape the pain. It's a daily battle and friends and family are essential.
So, folks, please, pay attention to friends, family, strangers... ask questions.... don't be afraid to reach out to someone to offer some comfort or encouragement or simply your presence. Don't be afraid to speak up about or report a situation that doesn't seem right. It took a brave co-workers persistent daily questioning to break down my walls and reveal the abuse that reigned in my life. If it wasn't for her persistence 12 years ago, I wouldn't be here today. She is the reason why I sought out counseling and a doctor to help me.
So prayers to Mark's family and the Hope that this tragedy will open our eyes to others who may be suffering... you just might save a life, like my friend saved mine.

 

[bears10]

First, I am just so heartbroken for Mark's family and friends, such devastating news.
Second, thank you so much bears10 and gonegirl for your words! I was raised in an abusive home and then married an abusive man. And I thought it was all normal. So it was my "duty" to put on a happy face for the world even though something felt very broken. I didn't recognize any of it as abuse until I was 26 years old. I have had major clinical depression my entire life and had been very suicidal as a child and as an adult. Finally in the past 5 or so years, the suicidal notions have thankfully left me and my depression is being controlled with medication and is something I battle every day. Friends and family and new acquaintances are always shocked about my reality, because I am an absolute expert with putting on a happy face, yet most people in my life have no idea of the intense emotional pain I experience every day. Depression is a scary place to be and it can cause you to do irrational things to escape the pain. It's a daily battle and friends and family are essential.
So, folks, please, pay attention to friends, family, strangers... ask questions.... don't be afraid to reach out to someone to offer some comfort or encouragement or simply your presence. Don't be afraid to speak up about or report a situation that doesn't seem right. It took a brave co-workers persistent daily questioning to break down my walls and reveal the abuse that reigned in my life. If it wasn't for her persistence 12 years ago, I wouldn't be here today. She is the reason why I sought out counseling and a doctor to help me.
So prayers to Mark's family and the Hope that this tragedy will open our eyes to others who may be suffering... you just might save a life, like my friend saved mine.

Major hugs faith. I am always here if you need to talk or vent. You are very strong.

Like you said in your post - it's ok to ask someone if they are having a hard time. Depression and suicide are very stigmatized, and this thread has proven that. You can't say someone would never commit suicide bc they are such a great person and are always on point. Even great people have mental struggles. We need to get rid of that stereotype because all that does is make people hesitant to seek help in fear of being weak.

 

[Songbird171]

I'm really really not handling this well. I drove past where his body was last week. I'm so sad it took 11 days to find him. Poor sweet soul.

 

[FaithHope]

Major hugs faith. I am always here if you need to talk or vent. You are very strong.

Like you said in your post - it's ok to ask someone if they are having a hard time. Depression and suicide are very stigmatized, and this thread has proven that. You can't say someone would never commit suicide bc they are such a great person and are always on point. Even great people have mental struggles. We need to get rid of that stereotype because all that does is make people hesitant to seek help in fear of being weak.

Thanks so much bears! ... you are so right... the stereotype and stigma associated with depression and suicide and all mental health is suffocating for those suffering with it... it's something that needs to be talked about more in a way that doesn't judge the person ... it makes it very difficult to ask for help.... I'll never forget that first phone call I made to my counselor 12 years ago- my heart was racing and I was trembling - because of the stigma associated with mental health and my fear of being judged. Of course it was one of the most important phone calls I've ever made, but at the time I didn't know that. I worked at a major pharmaceutical company at the time as a scientist, and I was actually terrified that people could tell just by looking at me that I was being treated for depression and that it would affect my career! I felt like I had to hide my face in shame as I walked down the hallways and into laboratories and conference rooms. That is how negatively powerful the stereotype is.

 

[FaithHope]

I'm really really not handling this well. I drove past where his body was last week. I'm so sad it took 11 days to find him. Poor sweet soul.

So sorry songbird 😓 prayers for you

 

[Gone Girl]

Faith hope, what you say is so true. Thank you for sharing your story. It is inspirational. Bears- you are right about the stigma. Faith- I also worried about my job finding out. I hate when people talk about "those people" who "need" medication as though we are some substandard entity. It's nice to find support here. I wish MS found support. I hope his family realize it is not their fault.