NJ - Sean Goldman: Abducted and living in Brazil UPDATE: Coming Home

[Linda7NJ]

"Thursday's ruling, written by Justice Marco Aurelio Mello, found that "at stake is a fully formed life. At stake is the right to come and go, the right of opinion, expression and human dignity."
Mello told reporters afterward that the Supreme Court will "question the necessity of Sean, the boy, who is almost 10 years old, to be heard directly by a judge."
Silvana Bianchi, Sean's maternal grandmother, told the privately run Agencia Estado news service she was elated with the decision. According to her, Sean, who has dual citizenship, has said he wants to remain in Brazil.
"His testimony has never been heard," she said. "As a Brazilian citizen, he deserves it. He is a child of nearly 10 and he knows quite well what he wants."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091218/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/lt_brazil_us_custody_battle_30

I happen to totally agree.

Let the boy be heard.

 

[southcitymom]

"Thursday's ruling, written by Justice Marco Aurelio Mello, found that "at stake is a fully formed life. At stake is the right to come and go, the right of opinion, expression and human dignity."
Mello told reporters afterward that the Supreme Court will "question the necessity of Sean, the boy, who is almost 10 years old, to be heard directly by a judge."
Silvana Bianchi, Sean's maternal grandmother, told the privately run Agencia Estado news service she was elated with the decision. According to her, Sean, who has dual citizenship, has said he wants to remain in Brazil.
"His testimony has never been heard," she said. "As a Brazilian citizen, he deserves it. He is a child of nearly 10 and he knows quite well what he wants."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091218/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/lt_brazil_us_custody_battle_30

I happen to totally agree.

Let the boy be heard.

I agree that Sean should absolutely be heard. It would be dumbfounding were he not allowed to "officially" speak up in the midst of all this legal wrangling. The sad thing from his father's perspective with that is that I think it is almost certain that his son will say he wishes to stay in Brazil....which again takes me back to the place where I wish the families could work together to determine their own best course of action regarding this child.

 

[colette]

I figure the Brazilian family has had plenty of time to influence the boy's opinion of his father and where he wants to live.

 

[stilettos]

Like it or not, that child loves the man whose been his psychological father for that last 5-6 years. It would be in the boys best interest to see him from time to time. That child will have had his "family" ripped apart too many times.

If you want that boy to ever have a good loving relationship with his biological father, his father should do whatever he can so the boy can have some sort of contact.

The issue I have with that is this: Shall we say that a young child is abducted by strangers.(step Dad was a stranger when the child was abducted) they keep the child 6 years...the police find said child and you would have them share custody with the parents after commtting the crime. redjustment is one thing...abduction is a crime....relative-step-Dad who is no relation or not. I do not believe in rewarding criminal behavior and the child should get counseling. Truth and Justice are great expamles for children to learn from. I have personal experience with this issue and the child involved received counseling..once told by the psychiatric experts what atually happened..never wanted to see the criminal party again. It was 7 years.

 

[Bree0372]

What's even worse, Fran, is that the Brazilian courts begin Christmas vacation tomorrow and won't reconvene until February.

As Judge Napolitano on Fox said, this kidnapping, plain and simple. Who here at Websleuths advocates kidnapping??

I'm really upset for David Goldman. How many trips he's taken. How many times his hopes have been raised, only to be let down yet again. It's very sad.

He's made more than a dozen trips to Brazil. Sad, huh? However, the AGU and David's Attorney's filed separate motions (the AGU's was 25-pages long) on Friday against Minister Marco Aurelio Mello's "stay". We are awaiting a ruling for these 2 motions. Please Lord let the President overturn Mello's stay.

"Thursday's ruling, written by Justice Marco Aurelio Mello, found that "at stake is a fully formed life. At stake is the right to come and go, the right of opinion, expression and human dignity."
Mello told reporters afterward that the Supreme Court will "question the necessity of Sean, the boy, who is almost 10 years old, to be heard directly by a judge."
Silvana Bianchi, Sean's maternal grandmother, told the privately run Agencia Estado news service she was elated with the decision. According to her, Sean, who has dual citizenship, has said he wants to remain in Brazil.
"His testimony has never been heard," she said. "As a Brazilian citizen, he deserves it. He is a child of nearly 10 and he knows quite well what he wants."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091218/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/lt_brazil_us_custody_battle_30

I happen to totally agree.

Let the boy be heard.

I'm sad for you, Linda, that you can agree with this "judge". Spend a few minutes doing some research on Judge Aurelio Mello and you will find that he was appointed to the SC by a President who was impeached for corruption. This President is his cousin. Corruption runs deep in the family from what I have gathered from speaking with other Brazilians. Read some of what people say about this "judge". This same "judge" is a family friend, runs in the same social-circle as the Brazilian family, lawyers etc. Is it a coincidence that he once again (first time in June) decided to issue a "stay" on a matter that the Supreme Court stated in July that they didn't need to hear because SEAN GOLDMAN SHOULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN RETURNED TO THE US, or is it another favor to the family friends? (JMHO) BTW, the President of the Supreme Court had already rejected a HC from the grandmother in July...so she tried again.

I wouldn't praise this "judge" in the least. In fact, he is known to vote against the other Supreme Court Judges. However, in July when the case regarding the constitutionality of the Hague came before the SC (as required because of Mello's first stay), he voted with the Supreme Court - going against what he issued the stay for to begin with. :waitasec:

I agree that Sean should absolutely be heard. It would be dumbfounding were he not allowed to "officially" speak up in the midst of all this legal wrangling. The sad thing from his father's perspective with that is that I think it is almost certain that his son will say he wishes to stay in Brazil....which again takes me back to the place where I wish the families could work together to determine their own best course of action regarding this child.

4 Federal Judges and 3-court appointed psychologists have ruled that Sean has been mentally abused by his Brazilian family. Brainwashing, Parental Alienation Syndrome (which has just been ruled as a crime in Brazil)....once abused using this treatment, you don't give a child a right to make a life changing decision. Would you allow your 9 year old son to make such a life changing decision? Stockholm Syndrome may even come into play. Not to mention, Paulo Lins e Silva (the father of the step-father) is an expert who gives speeches on PAS....he has said himself when giving the speeches that a child's wishes SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED when they are a victim of child abduction because they will be subjected to PAS. Amazing how he feels the opposite when it directly affects him. Imagine that! :waitasec:

Furthermore, if your child were to be kidnapped (as Sean was nearly 6 years ago) and he got along well with his kidnappers, would you allow him to continue with them rather than you or would you do like most and fight till the bitter end to be with him? I pray that you are never faced with the decision. I never knew that families tried to make arrangements with kidnappers to remain a part of their life??? FWIW, David has never said that the Brazilian family can't have contact with Sean upon his return to the US, he only wants his God-given right to raise HIS SON! Why is that wrong?

Speaking from first-hand knowledge: my husband was kept from his paternal family for 23 years (he didn't know how to contact them, but I found them). I can assure you that at the ripe age of 9, he would have said he wanted to stay with his mother too - given the crap she told him about his paternal family. Now that he knows the truth (that she lied about them and that they are good people), I can tell you that the relationship he once had with his mother is STRAINED. He doesn't trust her, but he loves her. He hasn't seen her in 3 years; however, he has a close bond with his paternal family now.

Also, if you have followed the story lately, then you will notice the stepfather hasn't shown his face. Must be busy with his new girlfriend....:waitasec:

I could go on and on, but I will spare you...for the moment.

 

[momtective]

I'm wondering just exactly what's in this for the Step father...Why does he insist on raising this child who is not even his? Is there life insurance money involved? There just has to be a reason and I don't believe it's love for the child. Anyone who has a 10 year old, anyone who has raised a child, can tell you, it's difficult when it's your own biological child. Anyone who has ever fostered or adopted can tell you it can be very difficult raising someone else's child. So again I ask, what is in it for the Step father...Someone enlighten me please :crazy:

With that said; I also believe the bio father had better be careful what he wishes for. Sean is not a baby, toddler, or 6 year old anymore. If he does come home he will bring with him tons of baggage...behaviors...attitude and I would imagine a lot of anger.

I think it is criminal what the Brazilian courts have done to this poor man, the child should have been returned to him years ago...immediately following the mother's death. My heart goes out to him and I pray he will be able to have a relationship with his son, if not now then when his son is an adult.

 

[southcitymom]

I figure the Brazilian family has had plenty of time to influence the boy's opinion of his father and where he wants to live.

Without question - also, just the fact that the child has been there for such a long time now - it would be hard to imagine that he would want to leave.

 

[southcitymom]

He's made more than a dozen trips to Brazil. Sad, huh? However, the AGU and David's Attorney's filed separate motions (the AGU's was 25-pages long) on Friday against Minister Marco Aurelio Mello's "stay". We are awaiting a ruling for these 2 motions. Please Lord let the President overturn Mello's stay.



I'm sad for you, Linda, that you can agree with this "judge". Spend a few minutes doing some research on Judge Aurelio Mello and you will find that he was appointed to the SC by a President who was impeached for corruption. This President is his cousin. Corruption runs deep in the family from what I have gathered from speaking with other Brazilians. Read some of what people say about this "judge". This same "judge" is a family friend, runs in the same social-circle as the Brazilian family, lawyers etc. Is it a coincidence that he once again (first time in June) decided to issue a "stay" on a matter that the Supreme Court stated in July that they didn't need to hear because SEAN GOLDMAN SHOULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN RETURNED TO THE US, or is it another favor to the family friends? (JMHO) BTW, the President of the Supreme Court had already rejected a HC from the grandmother in July...so she tried again.

I wouldn't praise this "judge" in the least. In fact, he is known to vote against the other Supreme Court Judges. However, in July when the case regarding the constitutionality of the Hague came before the SC (as required because of Mello's first stay), he voted with the Supreme Court - going against what he issued the stay for to begin with. :waitasec:



4 Federal Judges and 3-court appointed psychologists have ruled that Sean has been mentally abused by his Brazilian family. Brainwashing, Parental Alienation Syndrome (which has just been ruled as a crime in Brazil)....once abused using this treatment, you don't give a child a right to make a life changing decision. Would you allow your 9 year old son to make such a life changing decision? Stockholm Syndrome may even come into play. Not to mention, Paulo Lins e Silva (the father of the step-father) is an expert who gives speeches on PAS....he has said himself when giving the speeches that a child's wishes SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED when they are a victim of child abduction because they will be subjected to PAS. Amazing how he feels the opposite when it directly affects him. Imagine that! :waitasec:

Furthermore, if your child were to be kidnapped (as Sean was nearly 6 years ago) and he got along well with his kidnappers, would you allow him to continue with them rather than you or would you do like most and fight till the bitter end to be with him? I pray that you are never faced with the decision. I never knew that families tried to make arrangements with kidnappers to remain a part of their life??? FWIW, David has never said that the Brazilian family can't have contact with Sean upon his return to the US, he only wants his God-given right to raise HIS SON! Why is that wrong?

Speaking from first-hand knowledge: my husband was kept from his paternal family for 23 years (he didn't know how to contact them, but I found them). I can assure you that at the ripe age of 9, he would have said he wanted to stay with his mother too - given the crap she told him about his paternal family. Now that he knows the truth (that she lied about them and that they are good people), I can tell you that the relationship he once had with his mother is STRAINED. He doesn't trust her, but he loves her. He hasn't seen her in 3 years; however, he has a close bond with his paternal family now.

Also, if you have followed the story lately, then you will notice the stepfather hasn't shown his face. Must be busy with his new girlfriend....:waitasec:

I could go on and on, but I will spare you...for the moment.

I do respect your opinion, Bree. I just don't think it's a black and white case - it's a very difficult case to resolve wisely, IMHO. No matter how it is resolved at this stage in the game, the child loses something. The child is young and humans are resilient, so I hope he will come out on the other side (whatever side that might be) okay.

I spoke earlier in the thread about my BIL who lives in Germany (completely against his personal wishes) because that is where his son lives and has lived since he was an infant. I know it is not easy for anyone to up and move to another country in order to be with their child, but I have the deepest respect for my BIL - his own hard decisions have granted him a fantastic, regular relationship with his now 12 year old son.

I'm sure Sean's Dad never thought this would go on so long and turn into such a legal mess, but I wonder if there ever would have been a point in all this when he might have just said - screw it and moved to Brazil and started to see his son.

On TV, Sean's Brazilian family invited his Father to Christmas. Sean's Dad said he didn't buy it. But gosh, he's in Brazil - his child is there - I'd show up for dinner. What's the worst thing the stepfather can do? Send him away, I guess. But still - all this legal posturing in the face of a chance to spend Christmas with his son.....bleh! Maybe he would just feel too strange around those folks since they have been at battle for so long, but does he hate the thought of being around them more than he loves the thought of being around his son?

Yes, I think a child Sean's age should be able to say in Court to the people who are deciding his fate, "This is what I want." I don't think that means the Court should necessarily DO what Sean wants....his desires should obviously be interpreted through his situation as well as the legal rights of his father. But, absolutely, he should have a voice, IMHO.

I hope no one will read this post to think I am blaming Sean's father for any of this. He is in a terrible situation and I feel for him. But for me - nothing about this case is clearcut.

 

[southcitymom]

......... There just has to be a reason and I don't believe it's love for the child. ........

(respectfully snipped)

I do. And probably love for the child's Mom as well as his Mom's family who are involved in Sean's life - all flavored with a bit of nationalism. But yes, the underlying issue at the heart of this case is love and family.

Some will continue to believe that the step-Dad is just fighting to win and doesn't have a care for the child, but I think he does care for the child and, rightly or wrongly, he believes it is in the child's best interest to stay where he is.

 

[Cubby]

I do respect your opinion, Bree. I just don't think it's a black and white case - it's a very difficult case to resolve wisely, IMHO. No matter how it is resolved at this stage in the game, the child loses something. The child is young and humans are resilient, so I hope he will come out on the other side (whatever side that might be) okay.

I spoke earlier in the thread about my BIL who lives in Germany (completely against his personal wishes) because that is where his son lives and has lived since he was an infant. I know it is not easy for anyone to up and move to another country in order to be with their child, but I have the deepest respect for my BIL - his own hard decisions have granted him a fantastic, regular relationship with his now 12 year old son.

I'm sure Sean's Dad never thought this would go on so long and turn into such a legal mess, but I wonder if there ever would have been a point in all this when he might have just said - screw it and moved to Brazil and started to see his son.

On TV, Sean's Brazilian family invited his Father to Christmas. Sean's Dad said he didn't buy it. But gosh, he's in Brazil - his child is there - I'd show up for dinner. What's the worst thing the stepfather can do? Send him away, I guess. But still - all this legal posturing in the face of a chance to spend Christmas with his son.....bleh! Maybe he would just feel too strange around those folks since they have been at battle for so long, but does he hate the thought of being around them more than he loves the thought of being around his son?

Yes, I think a child Sean's age should be able to say in Court to the people who are deciding his fate, "This is what I want." I don't think that means the Court should necessarily DO what Sean wants....his desires should obviously be interpreted through his situation as well as the legal rights of his father. But, absolutely, he should have a voice, IMHO.

I hope no one will read this post to think I am blaming Sean's father for any of this. He is in a terrible situation and I feel for him. But for me - nothing about this case is clearcut.

I respect and agree with your opinion to an extent. However, we have to remember Sean was taken illegally, hidden from his father and the crime of kidnapping occured. I think, if I were Seans father, I would have a real hard time with attempting to co-parent and bond with a step father who clearly broke the law. Trust is earned. Could Seans father be the bigger person and step up to the plate, yes he can. However, imo, it should occur with Sean and his father living in the US, and step dad and the brazilian family- who apparently have money- can come here to the states and visit Sean. Imo, it is THEY who have broken the law and need to come clean and make the concessions.

There are SO very many children who are parentally kidnapped and denied access to a parent, I don't think it is up to the 'left behind parent' to be the one to make the concessions and compromises for the sake of the childs best interests. Besides, these left behind parents have such a hard time fighting with the courts to not just dismiss these cases thinking the kids are safe because they are with a family member......

JMO.

 

[Openmind]

Sorry, this case truly frustrates me. As the biological parent of a child, I should have first say on how that child is raised and where. What th[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]is[/FONT] Brazilian family has done to David is outrageous. That airplane flies both directions and the Brazilian family obviously ha[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]s[/FONT] the means to afford whatever they need or want to support this child -- even to the point of illegally keeping this father and son apart. At this point, I would not say the Brazilian family has Sean's best interest in mind at all but see him as a object to be possessed. I would not trust these people to raise my child in an ethical or healthy environment, or that they would actually tolerate any influence from David in a parental role. They have not respect[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]ed[/FONT] his rights as Sean's parent so far[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]. They have ac[/FONT]ted like he just a a nuisance in their lives.

This is a very scary situation[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]. N[/FONT]o matter how much [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]this man has tried to [/FONT]work within the system, there are those with power and influence that [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]have [/FONT]circumvent[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]ed[/FONT] the laws and bull[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]ied [/FONT]that system into getting their way.

 

[Salem]

~respectfully snipped and bolded~

Yes, I think a child Sean's age should be able to say in Court to the people who are deciding his fate, "This is what I want." I don't think that means the Court should necessarily DO what Sean wants....his desires should obviously be interpreted through his situation as well as the legal rights of his father. But, absolutely, he should have a voice, IMHO.

South - this post is not directed to you specifically, but is just a jumping off spot for me. Hope you don't mind.

I really want to address this issue of the child going to court and telling the judge what he would like to see happen. I am strongly against this. It is very difficult for a child to speak against the person/people he loves. AND no matter what, the child does end up speaking against at least one person that loves him/her.

Even an abused child or young teen will often NOT choose to live away from their abuser if the abuser is their mom or dad. No matter how bad the abuser is, if the child is asked and given a choice, often they will choose to stay. I am NOT saying Sean is being abused. I have not followed this case closely enough to have an opinion on that. I am saying, I agree 100% that this child should NOT go to court.

I know, I know a child of 10 should know his mind, blah, blah, blah. NOT SO! This is an emotionally devastating thing to ask of a child and it is often complicated through the years with thoughts of "did I do the right thing?" The adults in the child's life need to do the right thing for the child.

Salem

 

[Liz]

Snippet from:
Brazil top court to rule Monday on U.S. custody case


The U.S. government regards the case as a child abduction.

A spokeswoman at the Supreme Court told Reuters that chief justice Gilmar Mendes is expected to decide the case on Monday, agreeing to issue a ruling despite the court being in a holiday recess.

Praying and getting my hopes up that David regains custody of his son today.

Although I hear there may be another appeal even if this judge does rule in David's favor. This is really getting beyond ridiculous, imo!

 

[momtective]

Professor Lins De Silva (Father of Sean's Step Father) speaks on Parental Alienation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mncRUT8Q-4g

 

[southcitymom]

~respectfully snipped and bolded~

South - this post is not directed to you specifically, but is just a jumping off spot for me. Hope you don't mind.

I really want to address this issue of the child going to court and telling the judge what he would like to see happen. I am strongly against this. It is very difficult for a child to speak against the person/people he loves. AND no matter what, the child does end up speaking against at least one person that loves him/her.

Even an abused child or young teen will often NOT choose to live away from their abuser if the abuser is their mom or dad. No matter how bad the abuser is, if the child is asked and given a choice, often they will choose to stay. I am NOT saying Sean is being abused. I have not followed this case closely enough to have an opinion on that. I am saying, I agree 100% that this child should NOT go to court.

I know, I know a child of 10 should know his mind, blah, blah, blah. NOT SO! This is an emotionally devastating thing to ask of a child and it is often complicated through the years with thoughts of "did I do the right thing?" The adults in the child's life need to do the right thing for the child.

Salem

No offense taken, Salem. And you make excellent points. I actually agree with a lot of what you are saying.

I think in this case Sean should be allowed to speak to the Court if he wishes to. If he doesn't wish to, I certainly don't think he should be forced to.

At 10, I would have been furious if I had not been able to have my voice heard.

This doesn't mean I think the Judges should make their decision solely based on the wishes of a child. But the child should be respected enough to be offered the chance to speak his mind.

 

[southcitymom]

Snippet from:
Brazil top court to rule Monday on U.S. custody case


The U.S. government regards the case as a child abduction.

A spokeswoman at the Supreme Court told Reuters that chief justice Gilmar Mendes is expected to decide the case on Monday, agreeing to issue a ruling despite the court being in a holiday recess.

Praying and getting my hopes up that David regains custody of his son today.

Although I hear there may be another appeal even if this judge does rule in David's favor. This is really getting beyond ridiculous, imo!

Well that's great that they will hear it before Christmas - I think February 2010 was the date I read earlier for when a decision was expected.

Liz, what other Court could this case be appealed to after Brazil's Supreme Court makes a decision?

 

[Openmind]

Professor Lins De Silva (Father of Sean's Step Father) speaks on Parental Alienation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mncRUT8Q-4g

My assumption, based on the behaviors of the Brazilian family so far, is if the situation was reversed, and Sean was the biological son of Paulo Lins e Silva, hell and high water would not prevent him from regaining full custody his son. Lins e Silva would not be satisfied with visits and would not allow another man to raise his child while he is pushed to the side[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] with[/FONT] an invitation only relationship with h[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]is [/FONT]child[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]. [/FONT]My opinion, if David ever willingly walks into that situation, they will assert that is all he needs to be a part of Sean's life.

 

[Linda7NJ]

I'm wondering just exactly what's in this for the Step father...Why does he insist on raising this child who is not even his? Is there life insurance money involved? There just has to be a reason and I don't believe it's love for the child. Anyone who has a 10 year old, anyone who has raised a child, can tell you, it's difficult when it's your own biological child. Anyone who has ever fostered or adopted can tell you it can be very difficult raising someone else's child. So again I ask, what is in it for the Step father...Someone enlighten me please :crazy:

With that said; I also believe the bio father had better be careful what he wishes for. Sean is not a baby, toddler, or 6 year old anymore. If he does come home he will bring with him tons of baggage...behaviors...attitude and I would imagine a lot of anger.

I think it is criminal what the Brazilian courts have done to this poor man, the child should have been returned to him years ago...immediately following the mother's death. My heart goes out to him and I pray he will be able to have a relationship with his son, if not now then when his son is an adult.

I've adopted. I find absolutely NOTHING difficult about raising my ADOPTED son. I am a little stunned at the level of ignorance that still persists.........blood has nothing to do with love for a child. True love for a child doesn't require a biological link. :banghead:

 

[momtective]

I've adopted. I find absolutely NOTHING difficult about raising my ADOPTED son. I am a little stunned at the level of ignorance that still persists.........blood has nothing to do with love for a child. True love for a child doesn't require a biological link. :banghead:

I've adopted as well...9 to be exact and I as well find nothing difficult about raising my children. I have also fostered for 21 years (well over 125 children) and we have had one failed adoption. My point was that raising children period requires endless love, patience, and commitment and at times it can be very trying, especially with teenagers, biological or otherwise.
Poor Sean has been caught up in this tug-of-war for years now and for anyone to think that this boy isn't going to be angry, resentful, and difficult at some point is just foolish.
My question is WHY is the step father and his family doing this? What is in this for them? I'm in a situation right now where my granddaughters are concerned, one is not my biological granddaughter but my love for all of them is more than I can even put into words. I would take them and raise them in a heartbeat because I love them and I want the best for them. Their mother is an alcoholic and drug user and life for them is pathetic. Why does she want the children? Because she draws a check every month from Social Security. There are specific reasons why they should not be with their mother, reasons of safety and health and lifestyle. For Sean there is no reasonable cause that I've heard why he should not be with his biological father. Sean was kidnapped! He needs to be returned to his father but I still say the boy is going to have some issues regardless of who raises him.

 

[Salem]

No offense taken, Salem. And you make excellent points. I actually agree with a lot of what you are saying.

I think in this case Sean should be allowed to speak to the Court if he wishes to. If he doesn't wish to, I certainly don't think he should be forced to.

At 10, I would have been furious if I had not been able to have my voice heard.

This doesn't mean I think the Judges should make their decision solely based on the wishes of a child. But the child should be respected enough to be offered the chance to speak his mind.

I agree the child should be asked what he/she wants - but it should be done through the child's lawyer or GAL or CASA. The child should NOT have to say anything directly. I understand about being furious at 10, 11, 12, and 17 about not getting the chance to have your say. And it is true, some kids can handle it under some specific circumstances. But generally speaking - when it is a custody issue and the child is being asked to CHOOSE - the child should NOT have to.

I am currently watching 2 separate cases where children are being asked to do this. The children range in age from 14 to 6 (5 kids; 2 separate families) and I can not tell you how all 5 of these kids are suffering. It is so sad. Especially the 14 year old - who knows what is best for him. Having to say outloud what he wants is very, very difficult - having to say it in a courtroom with both parents there would really have a negative impact on him. My heart really hurts for this young man, as it does for Sean. I really hope his dad gets to bring him home today. And I also hope that Sean will be able to continue some sort of contact with his maternal grandmother. I believe she is the driving force behind this custody battle. I'm not sure I blame her - I would hate to be separated from my child's child, especially if I lost my child. I do believe Sean belongs with his father and I think it was horrible that Sean was taken from his father to begin with.

Salem