The victim shaming I’ve seen with Orsolya’s murder unfortunately isn’t surprising but it’s definitely disgusting and I’m having real difficulty dealing with the way that this case has been handled thus far. We have all followed enough true crime cases to know how badly stories get botched in the first few weeks of a sensationalized investigation. Just a few days ago, people were insisting that her innocent sons were to blame, based solely on erroneous opinions. Now I’m supposed to believe that the victim brought her death upon herself by engaging in an alleged 2 year “affair” but I call BS on that too. It is in the killer’s best interest to implicate her but it is more probable than not that he is lying.
First, this is still a DEVELOPING story because the only story we have to go with is that of a knife wielding stalker, claiming to be a jilted lover. However, it has been confirmed that David Bonola is known to several other women for repeatedly making unwanted advances, to the extent that the cops have had to be called more than once. (NY Daily News) He made some comments on her FB page that she “liked” but so what? Is that supposed to be proof of a 2 year relationship?
I would also like to add that the NYPD isn’t infallible, and conflicting stories coming from them aren’t helping anything. One officer says that the victim unwittingly let her killer into the house, while another officer has stated that he let himself in with a key found in her barbecue. So which is it? Because it does make a difference.
This story is being covered mostly by tabloid journals like the NY Post and papers like it that make their money in being gossip rags. Just try googling “Orsolya Gaal/NYTimes and see what you get. NOTHING. The NY Times won’t touch this story though this murder happened in Queens. That is because what we know so far isn’t fit to print.
Maybe Gaal did at one point have something to do with Bonola, but I highly doubt it is anything akin to the incendiary scenario that had been painted. I don’t know what really went on, but I do know that the general public don’t know either. In the meantime,victim shaming isn’t a good look and speculation is very different than malicious character attacks.
IMO there's been no victim shaming of Orsolya here at WS. I'm not on social media so I don't know what is being said out there. I know it's crazy in places, which is why I choose not to engage with it.
I agree that our NYPD is not infallible, but I disagree that the "only story" they have is Bonola's word. I know a lot of NY cops, and am related to two NYC detectives. Not one, from the day they graduate from the Police Academy until the day they retire, would accept as gospel the word of a criminal. I'm confident that they have digital information such as texts, emails etc., and perhaps video evidence of the unfortunate last encounter, that has led them to state there was an off-and-on relationship for two years. It's also possible that this poor family knew about it, and perhaps some friends, and they related this to the police.
The police were mistaken when they handcuffed the 13-year old, but at that point all they had was a body and a blood trail leading to the home, in which they found one person, so they took him in because they didn't yet know if he was a threat.
The NY Times is published here in NYC, but is not truly a local paper. You've given attribution to the NY Daily News regarding Bonola's harassment of other women. That newspaper is a tabloid, the same as the NY Post, which you scorn as unreliable. However, you state Bonolas's unwanted advances on women as "confirmed," citing the NY Daily News.
I recall one poster here who pretty much slammed Orsolya for the affair leading to her murder, and quite a few who believed it was definitely the son, but the mods will always shut that down and reiterate that no one is to be blamed until LE informs us of the suspect.
My issue with Orsolya having an affair is not that she brought her own murder on herself. Not at all. My issue with it is only as it adds any more pain to her husband and sons, which they now cannot talk to her about and get healing and closure.
She did not merit being annihilated by this man. No matter if it was a one-time frolic or if they thought they were in love.
However, we must face that the truth is true. I pray for her family to find peace somehow.