NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 6

[VeryCleverGirl]

Talula ....Really not trying to be antagonistic here I just don't understand all the secrecy when people are trying to help find rm

 

[VeryCleverGirl]

Ah, gotcha! LOL My brain is getting fuzzy. When talking about FB and "cover" I was thinking the cover photo.

P.S. I'm on day 3 of paleo eating, so I'm blaming it on carb flu & sugar detox :blushing:

Lol....completely understand I cannot function w/o caffeine

 

[talula]

I read the thread you're talking about... and he was not hostile or making it about him. He wanted answers to simple questions and got ambushed by at least one admin who didn't read his initial post about being a reporter and then some others just joined in and he left. To give him credit he tried again and was run off again. They made it clear IM was off limits imo

I disagree, respectfully. A man comes online, says -why do you guys call yourselves a search page? that's first thing out of his mouth. and this was after a day full of people criticizing. then he asks where Rob liked to vacation. This has been answered before and could have easily been answered again - why didn't he just ask the question and leave his snarky opinion aside? as soon as an admin realized he was a reporter, she asked everyone to back off and many people asked him to take it to PM, hoping he would do a story.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

There is such minimum info on RM and I'm sorry but I would have posted videos of him at this point. Let us hear his voice, people can easily change their appearance, he could be sitting in his favorite restaurant and we wouldn't know it's him. O wait, we don't know his favorite restaurant, sorry : (

 

[talula]

Talula ....Really not trying to be antagonistic here I just don't understand all the secrecy when people are trying to help find rm

I can only speak for myself. When someone asks me a question, I have to go ask IM first. I am not just going to throw out a response, its an active investigation and its not my family member either. If she doesn't have time to respond, sometimes I ask a second or third time. If she still doesn't respond, I assume for whatever reason she does not want or can not discuss that fact. It drives me crazy too sometimes, as human beings we want all the answers! now! I see IM as being very private person and not used to people asking all kinds of questions. She wants the help, but - as has been proven lately on other unmentionable sites - people can turn on her quick.

 

[talula]

There is such minimum info on RM and I'm sorry but I would have posted videos of him at this point. Let us hear his voice, people can easily change their appearance, he could be sitting in his favorite restaurant and we wouldn't know it's him. O wait, we don't know his favorite restaurant, sorry : (

That has been answered before, but it gets lost in the endless threads/posts. Sometimes she answers 30 questions in an evening. And I look at the FAQ and go - someone should really update that. sigh.

 

[talula]

There is such minimum info on RM and I'm sorry but I would have posted videos of him at this point. Let us hear his voice, people can easily change their appearance, he could be sitting in his favorite restaurant and we wouldn't know it's him. O wait, we don't know his favorite restaurant, sorry : (

I would love to see a video, too

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

I read the thread you're talking about... and he was not hostile or making it about him. He wanted answers to simple questions and got ambushed by at least one admin who didn't read his initial post about being a reporter and then some others just joined in and he left. To give him credit he tried again and was run off again. They made it clear IM was off limits imo

They made it very clear IM wasn't interested. I wish I took a picture of that conversation because I can't possibly remember word for word. I do remember him getting attacked. Ya know what??? IM may not have even been aware the administrators and others were saying things to this man. I saw IM post many times that she welcomes all questions and will try to answer them if she can. She was very nice and never attacked anyone on there. It was mostly the administrators and of course the members who "say" they are speaking for IM.

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

That has been answered before, but it gets lost in the endless threads/posts. Sometimes she answers 30 questions in an evening. And I look at the FAQ and go - someone should really update that. sigh.

They just updated it the other day with the new information.
Thank you, I will go back there and see if I can find his favorite restaurant.
I remember questions about mannerisms, quotes he says, is he quiet or loud, all I know is he's a family man and he loves his family and BBQing.

 

[VeryCleverGirl]

I disagree, respectfully. A man comes online, says -why do you guys call yourselves a search page? that's first thing out of his mouth. and this was after a day full of people criticizing. then he asks where Rob liked to vacation. This has been answered before and could have easily been answered again - why didn't he just ask the question and leave his snarky opinion aside? as soon as an admin realized he was a reporter, she asked everyone to back off and many people asked him to take it to PM, hoping he would do a story.

I'm guessing because he wasnt getting the responses he was used to in a case where someone is missing and needs to be found

 

[MomWhoLovesDragons]

That has been answered before, but it gets lost in the endless threads/posts. Sometimes she answers 30 questions in an evening. And I look at the FAQ and go - someone should really update that. sigh.

Do you recall RM favorite restaurant?

 

[windstorm]

I wish NCNY would come back and just answer a few questions that we all have, like:

Is there a particular place on the planet that would be good to check out - because RM loved that place or missed that place or always dreamed of going to that place.

Is there anything he talked about wanting to do? Like parasailing, rock climbing, fishing (deep sea or bass boat on a river?)

Did he love seafood? Steak?

Whatever can be told about him that makes him more personable and keeps people vested in his case......and could possibly aid in solving the case.

 

[CatFancier]

I know it has been helpful to have Talula and Relay here to explain their roles on the FB page. However, please don't bicker about how that site was run and again, that drama needs to stay off of this site.

 

[hot cawfeee]

Hi to everyone. I have been following this case from the beginning as one of the "guests" that have just been lurking, reading. I have also been following the insanity on the fb page. I had typed up a very very long post the other day and then the "news" broke about the phone and wallet. I had always leaned towards NCNYs post being truth that he had been by home that afternoon. I think that the scrap yard is insignificant. He probably went regularly and if anything that company is a victim of a crime in terms of slander. On July 2 someone had posted a response on a post on IMs personal fb page stating "I thought the phone was found turned off for the weekend" That made me start to think that he wasn't a texter, wasn't a phone chatter and maybe did shut his phone off every Friday afternoon when he got home for the weekend. If that's the case it makes sense why it was found off at home, probably in the same drawer in the garage that he always kept it. I also believe that he left his wallet there when he came home that afternoon and that it wasn't forgotten in the morning. In terms of the bike I believe that it may have nothing to do with this and very well may have been missing prior to his disappearance. When this first started I found myself looking for RM everywhere I would go. Then over time I started to feel that he left on his own and wasn't going to be anywhere local. As time progressed though the inconsistencies started to seem much more shady to me. Like why did the phone call initially end with "goodbye I love you" and then turn to a dropped call. If he was really planning on leaving why would he show up home at a time that she was normally there? Why wasn't she there that one day if she is usually home at that time every day?? Were her phone records checked? Or just his? Did she receive a phone call before or during that time period? Or a text? He's home or he's gone. When I went over this whole thing with my friend the other day she had the same reaction.. He either left on his own.. Or maybe "someone" had something to do with his disappearance. I'm not sure if I can explain theories here that may include a "victim" as a suspect. I have a lot more thoughts but ill start there

Morning Deepinthought---welcome and great first post----

The wallet in the garage has me a little stumped--I wonder how secure the garage actually is---I am tho a belt and suspenders kind of person so that may be just me. And great questions about all phone records in general.

 

[hot cawfeee]

This guy looks like an innocent family man who would not leave on his own. However, I wonder if Ida's phone records and credit card charges (not Rob's) were scoured over. What kind of work does Ida do? Who does she communicate with? Even if she is not involved, someone close to her might be. She does not really answer alot of questions and has her protectors on FaceBook fending off questions. She desires support and avoids questions. I found some of her behavior to be strange after the fact, particularly right after the news reports. Ida needs to speak up and throw some possibilities out there because that is what I would be doing. I would answer every question, divulge every secret, do anything to find my husband. Perhaps she feels that if she leads the police to what happened, that she will be implicated. The everything is pefect in our lives claim puts up a big, waving red flag for me - always.

Great post--Curious Cathy--welcome---good idea-to widen the circle.
Questions about R's quirts, habits, personality, likes and dislaikes ahs been asked but never answered much to my personal frustration.
And yes--that happy family claim--sent up a flag to me too.

 

[hot cawfeee]

I don't think LE has put that much effort into this case. She reported him missing, he appeared in many ways to have left on his own, no crime scene, etc. I would think they would need more than that combined with her history to get a subpoena for her phone records.

The fact that she isn't shouting it from the rooftops does make it seem like she's looking for sympathy over "her" situation. It is also possible that her experience with LE isn't positive and she's trying to keep a positive spin on things.

But doesnt IM or RM have family in LE???

 

[hot cawfeee]

And fathers day, is not?

I think that Father's Day being 2 days away was a coincidence OR the day was something agreed upon in that that was when RM would leave----mid-month for an apt. lease.

Oh guys----this family thing has gone off the rails and it is sad.

 

[hot cawfeee]

From Windstorm. I read this post to mean we were close to figuring out what happened. Did I mis-read?

am re-reading it-------I take it as WS (b/c we are awesome) is parsing thru all facts and re-facts (lets call them) and the inconsistencies and patching things together. Also we bounce questions around alot. ANd we have alot of folks looking at the threads.
The other side of that coin----we just may be really close here.

 

[hot cawfeee]

The Decker page is gone. No tears lost on that one.

who was he/she????? Were they a friend of RM??????

 

[hot cawfeee]

Hello everyone,
I'm at such a standstill right now I don't even know what to say. At first I thought that RM just left. After weeks of going over everything I'm not so sure anymore. Besides IM portraying their perfect marriage and life, I just can't see a man who is stabile at a good job leaving his 2 children and his mother. My mind keeps heading back to foul play. It's easy to think he left, I do understand that. In all honesty everyone has some problems in life, whether its money, health, fighting, stress, etc. it's still not a valid reason to leave your kids behind and your family. Those photos show a happy face! Anyways, IMO, is it possible that RM was going home and went inside his home and somebody threatened him? Told him to empty his pockets and get in his car and drive. I'm thinking it would have to be 2 men one in the front seat and one in the backseat which would explain the seat being pushed forward. My mind keeps going back to that darn scrap yard, especially knowing that IM found out from his co workers 2 weeks after to go check there. I'm so confused and I'm probably way off base but that place just creeps me out. Nobody knows what time the car was parked at DP train station. No cameras working at the "yard" very shady. I keep thinking it has something to do with his job and copper?.. Getting caught?..
The car is still with LE. Did they find something in that car???
The trunk being broken could have been temporarily fixed with some wire. To my understanding his tools would be locked up at work?? I don't know if it is known for a fact that he took his tools home everyday, but I guess it would be fine if he did, just an inconvenience lugging them in and out of the car.
I hope he's fine and like other theories he just left and was planning on coming home the next day but was embarrassed because the police were already called.
So odd for a man to just disappear????

Good questions Mom-Dragons------I think there is a secure place on the job-site for RM's tools. Its alot of stuff to lug back and forth on a daily basis.
I posited different scenarios in my head--and believe he left voluntarily. (I have a recent thought that I am still working thru.)

I think he has been in touch with his mom, siblings and children. I think its between the spouses and it went public when it should have remained private.