NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 7

[Momoffourboys]

I think it was a lie to get the police to take a missing person's report by saying he is endangered. Otherwise without any evidence of foul play they would have wrote it off as he left on his own accord.

IIRC he was initially listed as missing. A couple of weeks later it was changed to endangered missing on one of the sites. I think it was the NAMUS site. From what posters have said, family members had to have given info convincing enough for the status to have been changed to "endangered missing".
I will go back and try to find links.

 

[SkyAutumn3]

Does the preserve have it's own parking?

I have driven by it numerous times, and I believe it does have a lot out front.
But not a definite fact, just what my memory tells me!!

 

[TravelingBug]

Hello - I have been a member forever, but never post, however, I can no longer resist; I must relay my story, and I will try for an abbreviated version. My boyfriend, (now my husband) and I lived together for about ten years. I went to visit my family in NY and talked to him at least daily, sometimes several times a day, and no indication there was any problems, until I returned home. He was supposed to pick me up at the airport, and was not there. I got a ride and the minute I walked in the door I knew something was wrong. He was gone - no signs of anything that belonged to him, no vehicle, nothing. And, no note. He was gone for about six months, and I could find not one that had a clue, none of his adult children, nor any other family members. It was beyond devastating. So, I am here to tell you, men, they can and do disappear when all seems well. After six months, he called, sent me a plane ticket, telling me he wanted to explain, (and, I must say I was leery about going), but go I did, and he greeted me with a wedding band and we got married the next day. So, I will also testify, that sometimes, even when they leave and you have not a clue, it turns out well in the end. Thanks, you guys, you all post some terrific theories and great ideas.

That must have been QUITE the explanation he had! I'm so glad your story has a happy ending!

(Though I have to say I'm glad I wasn't in your shoes likely getting endless questions from friends and family when you told them he resurfaced AND you were now married! :floorlaugh: )

Having walked through a very, very similar situation with a dear friend (though without the happy ending - but he did end up being alive) I've seen how incredibly difficult it is when someone up and vanishes, by choice or not, and the fallout in all aspects of your life - but also how slim the odds are that all ends up being "well" in any real sense.

My friend's story ultimately has had a happy twist, both for her and her now grown child, and the MIA spouse is no longer alive (though entirely unrelated to his absence for all those years) so it really is a closed chapter in their lives, in most regards.

It's a big part of why I'm on WS. Months into his absence it was sleuthing online on my own that caused us to find out he was at least alive, and years after that, actually locate him.

I hope at some point you share more of your story (whether on this thread or in the basement or wherever) - because it's good for people who may have a loved one go missing see there can be happy endings, whether with the original missing person or not. :smile:

 

[Momoffourboys]

July 5, 2013 by Linda
Filed under CUE Alerts, General
1 Comment

Missing From: Dix Hills, New York
Missing Since:06/14/13
Classification: Endangered Missing
White Male
Age at Disappearance:45
Date of Birth: 12/17/67
Height: 6’0
Weight: 200
Hair:Brown. may have beard now if unshaven
Eyes: Green
Scars, Marks, Tattoos: left hand, middle finger was slightly chopped off tip – has nail, but middle finger is shorter -
Clothing:grey polo shirt, light blue jeans, black work boots, ray ban sunglasses
Nickname:Rob
Details of Disappearance
Robert Mayer went to work June 14, 2013. He was seen at work with his car. He was last seen at a scrap metal yard around 2:15. His car – a 2004 red pontiac GTO- was located the next day, Saturday, June 15 at 8:30 p.m. at the Deer Park Train Station, a few miles from the house. Roberts family states that he never takes the train as he drives to and from work. His car was found abandoned at Deer Park train station His family says that Robert has never stayed away from home.Robert does not have identification on him, as his wallet was found at home. He has not been seen or heard from. His case remains unsolved.
Investigative Agency
Suffolk County Police Department
631-697-6186
If you have any information on this case please contact CUE Center For Missing Persons at (910) 343-1131 24 hour tip line (910) 232-1687
All information submitted to CUE Center For Missing Persons is confidential.

BBM

 

[hot cawfeee]

Why would he go home for 10 mins?

grab personal things-----leave letters for his kids (I know-I am the only one seeing this----I believe it happened)---leave work phone and cash

 

[beachgal7]

Hello All-
I'm new here, I love reading everyone's insight and it has really made me think.
I have an idea that came from a post I think was in thread 3? Regarding gun & the felony.
I was curious and looked into that. <modsnip> He came home to get it, she raced home, noticed it was empty.
I also have been thinking about his job.
RM's job changed every few months, maybe he met someone near an old jobsite?
Just my thoughts so far- but they change almost daily! lol

 

[TravelingBug]

I went through all the links of all the threads, and I can't find it. I am sure I read it in the links posted here. It seams that stories are updated in the meantime. Some links even took me to completely different stories.
Sorry!

That is one of the most maddening changes to online media the last few years!

That rarely happened until more recently...

Having moderated AOL crime boards for years and years and years it was NEVER something that happened back then (in the dark ages of online sleuthing/case following)...and really even just a few years back when the Chelsea King case happened, and I literally was reading everything b/c it was in my own backyard...that didn't happen but rarely.

Soon some smart person will make a mint creating an app or something that forces changes to show in things (like can be done in Microsoft docs!) and then we'll hound them until they use their app to create copies of the original articles or something! ha ha! lease:

Oh will that be the day (or rather the app!) that messes with the media and keep track of both their (at times) poor reporting or attention to detail...and the day that ruins things for people (criminals or those covering for them) that just keep creating variations of their story and it starts making their lies even more blatant. :floorlaugh:

 

[Treelights]

IIRC he was initially listed as missing. A couple of weeks later it was changed to endangered missing on one of the sites. I think it was the NAMUS site. From what posters have said, family members had to have given info convincing enough for the status to have been changed to "endangered missing".
I will go back and try to find links.

Up thread I listed the stats on the NamUs site and it says Missing,
NOT Endangered Missing.

 

[TravelingBug]

Three possible reasons:

1) He was never at the train station
2) Conditions at the train station made picking up a scent difficult
3) Used an air scent dog rather than a ground scent dog. This scenario required a ground scent dog.

The preserve would require both a ground scent dog(s) and cadaver dog(s) along with grid searchers.

I should have quoted your earlier post (from yesterday - or rather I guess that's now Tuesday night or so) about the intentions of (nearly) everyone on here.

It was a great post and so well said!

Thank you!

And thanks for all your contributions on the tracking side of things, as well!

 

[TravelingBug]

There was a FB page started right after the disappearance that was closed down. A lot of what was posted on that first page can no longer be accessed. Those who were interested in this case from the beginning remember a lot of those initial posts. I believe the info you were looking for was stated on that first page.

Isn't that also where the original phone call story we heard came from, too? (Length difference, "I love you" vs dropped call, etc.?)

 

[Treelights]

I haven't found a NamUs flyer that mentions that Robert Mayer is Endangered nor Endangered Missing, Only Missing. Is there another NamUs flyer floating around?

https://www.findthemissing.org/en/cases/20818/0/

Case Information
Status
Missing
First name
Robert
Middle name
M
Last name
Mayer
Nickname/Alias
Rob
Date last seen
June 14, 2013 02:50
Date entered
06/27/2013
Age last seen
46 to 47 years old
Age now
46 years old
Race
White
Ethnicity
Other
Sex
Male
Height (inches)
72.0 to 73.0
Weight (pounds)
200.0 to 210.0

Under Reports, there's a Printable poster to download
and the poster states:
MISSING SINCE: LAST SEEN: HEIGHT: WEIGHT:
Robert M Mayer
MISSING PERSON

Was it at one time posted on NamUs that Robert was Endangered and Missing
and it has been changed? Although when there are changes on NamUs , then the update date is shown, and on Robert's NamUs the date entered is June 27, 2013, and I don't see any other dates of any changes....
IMOO.

Quoting myself about the NAMUS SITE.
Robert Mayer is MISSING, NOT endangered missing. See my post above that I am quoting.

 

[Momoffourboys]

Up thread I listed the stats on the NamUs site and it says Missing,
NOT Endangered Missing.

Upthread i just listed the CUE site and it states "endangered missing"
As of today.

 

[TravelingBug]

Here is another thought!

What if his reason for getting up early was to go to the train station and take the train to meet someone, this someone takes him to work where Robert does his thing for a while and then leaves early....
Nothice his car was never reported as seen at the scrap yard so I believe this same person took him there,,,, then took him home so he could leave his stuff and he exits stage right with mystery person im now thinking he has a GF!!!!

Heck, for that matter he takes the train to work and the other person doesn't factor in until he returns...

The biggest flaw I see with that is the extreme riskiness - especially if he's at the house WITH someone - in the timeline again and risking running into IM, the kids, a neighbor, etc.

I wonder if instead of it being a female (or GF) it could have been another male? Heck, even just for a cover (not necessarily saying I'm taking your scenario and raising the issue of him possibly running off with a male).

He could have had them - especially if it were someone who looked a bit like him - drive his car (or maybe it's a total fluke and it's another red car entirely - I'd be SO curious to know if they can tell from the video and just aren't releasing that info...whether just not to the public or maybe even family) to the house and did a drop off/pick up.

Another guy could: a) even look like RM so it wouldn't arouse suspicion and/or b) could look like he had done something to RM if he did run into IM - meaning make it look like a robbery/abduction/intruder (thereby explaining getting "caught" in the house).

RM himself returning to the house seems SO, SO risky for any possible scenario I come up with (other than unless we're not getting the full story from IM) even if it seems plausible at first.

 

[Treelights]

Upthread i just listed the CUE site and it states "endangered missing"
As of today.

Yes, I understand that, but you mentioned you thought NamUs, and I was showing that he has not been listed as endangered missing on NamUs, and as of today Robert is still listed as Missing on NamUs, not Endangered Missing.
https://www.findthemissing.org/en/cases/20818/0/

 

[McSpy]

If she (or someone) had left her car somewhere else (train station?) - making it look like she wasn't home when he arrived, thereby also catching him off guard - she (or someone) could have driven his car there to leave it and pick her car up and drive right back home...

Thus explaining his car coming/going quickly and her car being seeing quickly afterwards.

And if she was only gone a few minutes, having taken his car and not leaving one there, maybe figuring then they would HAVE to talk about things (or whatever) b/c he couldn't leave (his car wasn't there and he wouldn't know where she put it, and until she got back to the house her car obviously wouldn't have been there either) that really could explain her quick concern over him being missing.

If she thought she could catch him off guard and have him stranded, only to turn around and find him not there a few minutes later, I could see someone getting very panicked quickly.

Especially once it was obvious he didn't just walk around the block to cool off.

And then that could explain LE thinking it isn't foul play - b/c she assumes he left in a huff and would be back sooner or later, after all, how far could he go on foot - but yet her filing the police report quickly. (Heck, even that could have been a 'how dare you' - if he were to have left in a huff)

Do we know the timeline of when the bike was realized to be gone vs. when she found the phone and $ in the garage. Could the latter two have led to realizing the former was missing? Or the former being found missing made the latter two get found?

That definitely was an 'out of the box' theory that I could see explaining most of the little we know and filling in some of the many gaps.

Other than, of course, where he'd have gone to.

Bolded by me

Interesting! It could have been coordinated with someone else. I have to think about this one a bit more . .

 

[TravelingBug]

No. It is not big news here.
In the past three months i think i have seen one flyer...and that was at
A gas station. I live in the immediate area.

Since RM has gone missing, i have mentioned it to at least a dozen people. I would say two or three heard of it. I actually have a friend who is a local politician...never heard about this case.

I find it disturbing an frustrating. Every single local should know about this case and should see a photo. He could be hurt or unable to communicate and right under our noses.

While i know the "search group" has put in hours and hours of hanging flyer and spreading the word...the media has completely ignored the RM case on long island.

Yikes :facepalm: to the bolded.

And absolutely to the italicized!

 

[SkyAutumn3]

Interesting...

So not a huge effort being made to get the word out about him missing...

LE not only doesn't think foul play at this point, but family/friends must not either?

No real "please just come back" - as if they think he's missing by choice?
No "we've got to find this guy he's in danger" - as if he's missing not by choice?
And not even "did anyone see" - as if to be concerned about suicide or...?

Heck, I see signs around town for missing people all the time - plastered everywhere (for the same individual or two) - and they don't have a thread on WS nor have I even really heard it on the news, but I've seen the signs everywhere.

Interesting that it sounds like neither method is really being used (signs or news media) and really it doesn't sound like much urgency from anyone?

In Dix Hills, I often see signs up re: missing pets, & have even had some placed in my mailbox. But none seen by me re: RM, as I noted. Did read that MANY signs have been put up, though. Maybe I don't get around enough???!

 

[McSpy]

If she (or someone) had left her car somewhere else (train station?) - making it look like she wasn't home when he arrived, thereby also catching him off guard - she (or someone) could have driven his car there to leave it and pick her car up and drive right back home...

Thus explaining his car coming/going quickly and her car being seeing quickly afterwards.

And if she was only gone a few minutes, having taken his car and not leaving one there, maybe figuring then they would HAVE to talk about things (or whatever) b/c he couldn't leave (his car wasn't there and he wouldn't know where she put it, and until she got back to the house her car obviously wouldn't have been there either) that really could explain her quick concern over him being missing.

If she thought she could catch him off guard and have him stranded, only to turn around and find him not there a few minutes later, I could see someone getting very panicked quickly.

Especially once it was obvious he didn't just walk around the block to cool off.

And then that could explain LE thinking it isn't foul play - b/c she assumes he left in a huff and would be back sooner or later, after all, how far could he go on foot - but yet her filing the police report quickly. (Heck, even that could have been a 'how dare you' - if he were to have left in a huff)

Do we know the timeline of when the bike was realized to be gone vs. when she found the phone and $ in the garage. Could the latter two have led to realizing the former was missing? Or the former being found missing made the latter two get found?

That definitely was an 'out of the box' theory that I could see explaining most of the little we know and filling in some of the many gaps.

Other than, of course, where he'd have gone to.

When RM's car was seen in the driveway, supposedly, IM was at her parents home, which is in the neighborhood. The cash and dead phone were found 1 week after his disappearance in drawers in the garage. His wallet was also found in a drawer around 4pm on the day he disappeared.

 

[Eileen730]

Because really, if he was going to kill himself, would he make the effort to just drop the $300 off?

I mean, especially given what their lifestyle seems to have been, that's really not THAT much money.

Would it have been worth risking running into IM (or anyone else who might deter him from killing himself if that were what happened?) just to drop the little bit of money off? Heck, with their home, would that have covered utilities even for one hot month of summer?

But then, that really does make the return home odd...

To me, in some ways that actually points away from suicide.

And, really, the returning home period seems really risky if he were leaving voluntarily, too... because it IS afternoon. IM could be home and/or kids coming/going soon - and if not his own family, neighbors/kids coming/going.

I see far more of my neighbors between 3-4:30 or so than any other time of the day. And my neighborhood is far less apt to have had one spouse not needing to work as I'd guess may be the case in their neighborhood, just based on what's been shared by those who know it. So to me, that even ups the odds that that time frame could be pretty 'high traffic' there, too.

Coming home at that time, IMO, put him at a HUGE risk of a suicide plan or a voluntary departure being thwarted by one of his family members or a neighbor (even if it's just that someone would have seen him and which way he went and if he was alone - if he was leaving to be with someone perhaps). I mean, missing IM by 10-ish minutes?

Either one of them was tipped off to the other coming/going, or HE wasn't the one in his car and thus he wasn't risking coming home so briefly and she was (like the theory presented by our new poster) driving it, or he got REALLY lucky timing wise, whatever his reasons.

Right? Or what other options am I missing?

A really lucky criminal, I guess? But LE seems to definitely not think that's the case...

He came home to get something is my guess

 

[TravelingBug]

Have you guys ever heard of the Find your Iphone app? It is very accurate. I sometimes use it to see how close my husband is to home if I need something. lol It's a free app and I can guarantee you any woman who may suspect her husband is doing anything nefarious would have it on their phone! If he had this app he would know exactly where she was and how much time he had.

:floorlaugh: You are SO busted if he happens on this post! So much for any thought that you might just have good timing calling him about stopping for you! Ha ha!

Interesting thought about that. Do we know what kind of phone he has? (I don't recall that?)

It can be disabled though...and would have to be enabled to begin with...

Which would then make me think if it were, it's far more likely he might have left over finding out something about HER up to something, b/c it's much more unusual for a husband to want to/feel a need to track his wife than vice versa.

Unless he was particularly controlling maybe...but that doesn't seem to be the case from the little we've heard? (Well, he seems well liked and they were apparently, happy from what others knew - unless I've missed something in the little we have heard). Not that people can't put up a good front.

The app is an interesting thought.

It still just seems REALLY tight. Unless she were en route the entire time he a) headed home, b) got home and was grabbing/dropping stuff, and c) he was eyes on the phone AND what he was doing all at once, it was still a VERY, VERY, VERY 'near miss' so to speak, timing wise.

She really couldn't have been at a store, I'd not think, or the variable of that would have been a risk, since she clearly wasn't far from home...

Or, he REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to take (or leave) something at the house - something that still may not be known to have been taken...or left... (though something of that significance you'd think she'd look to see if it were MIA - like a weapon or pills or something of great value...heck, missing clothes you'd think she'd notice unless he was a cloths hound!) or that she'd have stumbled on something appearing she wasn't suspecting that he'd have left...but I'd think she'd have turned the house upside down if she truly just basically happened on the phone/wallet in the garage. And, really, I'd think I'd be looking a lot of places before the garage, so if something (else) were left she (at least) would probably have found it by now.

Even tracking her they times coming/going were SO close that it seems like they'd nearly have passed one another - though I guess, if you were correct and he was using an app, that he could have intentionally gone another route to avoid it?