And usually the borderline diagnosis is something is that has been undiagnosed for years, my own diagnosis was 15 odd years in the making, it's not something that is easily diagnosed due to comorbid conditions.
Yes there is a huge difference between undiagnosed and diagnosed BPD sufferers and severity.
But I still respectfully disagree with the walking/abandonment that your saying, my eldest is a daddy's boy and yet I don't feel abandoned..
I believe your next paragraph is due more to drug/issues that would come with custody more than BPD and AS was known to be heavy handed with kylee and Elaina.
I'm not disputing she could be borderline, I'm more prone to her issues stemming from drugs
I agree. Some are obviously borderline; others are harder to diagnose.
The walking/abandonment issue is just a theory. I'm guessing it came about as a means to explain how the shame/false self bits come about and/or how environment in the nature/nurture debate plays out. The first time I heard about this theory, I found it far-fetched. The second time I read about it on this website on the Baby Gabriel/Elizabeth Johnson thread, pertaining to EJ's mental state. Since then, I've taken notice of how so many of these seemingly loving moms are diagnosed as borderline and how they dispose of their toddlers without a whole lot of thought or emotion. I was wondering if there may be some truth to the theory. (Obviously, these moms are much sicker than diagnosed, insightful and higher functioning types.)
The abandonment associated with the baby first learning to walk was explained to me as a continuum of behavior, at the mild end a subtle emotional pulling away or failing to be emotionally present...to leaving the child with others to raise (maybe a nanny)...to physically leaving a child...to failing to protect the child from known dangers/predators...to actually abusing/killing a child.
From what I was told, most borderlines wouldn't be conscious of their abandonment fears/triggers, especially if they hadn't undergone therapy, acknowledge their issues, and want to change.
Sometimes, people diagnosed as borderline don't have the full-blown personality disorder, but merely borderline traits. Also, sometimes former borderlines get better, and no longer meet the diagnostic criteria.
I don't know if this theory is true. Just throwing it out there since I do see a trend in moms hurting babies and shrinks say BPD is on the rise in our society.
With the drugs/custody disputes...it's hard to know if they are a cause of her behavior or a symptom of BPD. Borderlines have a higher incidence of substance abuse, partner-hopping, and terminating relationships prematurely, which can lead to custody disputes.
