KKearns
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2016
- Messages
- 2,210
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One thing to remember when looking at motives.. Things that might be an issue normally, likely won't be here. People in areas like this are generally there for generations. If they don't accept outsiders then everyone becomes loosely related through marriage. Families have known families for generations.
Something that could be a real hot button to the majority might not be here and things that would be nothing things to the majority, could be a big deal here.
Even if Dana and Chris never got back together, Dana's family still being close to Chris wouldn't be weird, their families have probably known each other and been connected before that generation was born. I wouldn't be shocked if almost all the community wasn't related as distant cousins.
How many people know their 5th, 6th and 7th cousins pretty well and see them at least once a year?
I do on one side of my family, the country side. Almost all of them live within 30-40 mins of me, many are neighbors of my aunts. Also my granny had 6 siblings and my grandfather had 14 siblings. In that community where many of them still are, almost the entire community is related to me. All the older people will know me if I'm there and run into them. They will ask me which one of my aunts I'm related to. They see the family resemblance very strongly.
When my cousin divorced, he built his ex-wife and kids a house on his 10 acres. They both remarried but no one moved, the kids stayed close to both parents. At funerals and family get togethers, my cousin's ex-wife and her husband show up and fit right in. They are at every funeral, they are at every reunion, they go to the same church as my cousin. Her mom even shows up for things or comes by if something happens in our family.
That would be hot button issues for most places, but in many small communities, it works and many times is living proof of people doing what is best for kids and co-parenting works.
So when trying to look at motive, remember, these type areas are a real sense of community and big issues to us might not be big issues to them.
Something that could be a real hot button to the majority might not be here and things that would be nothing things to the majority, could be a big deal here.
Even if Dana and Chris never got back together, Dana's family still being close to Chris wouldn't be weird, their families have probably known each other and been connected before that generation was born. I wouldn't be shocked if almost all the community wasn't related as distant cousins.
How many people know their 5th, 6th and 7th cousins pretty well and see them at least once a year?
I do on one side of my family, the country side. Almost all of them live within 30-40 mins of me, many are neighbors of my aunts. Also my granny had 6 siblings and my grandfather had 14 siblings. In that community where many of them still are, almost the entire community is related to me. All the older people will know me if I'm there and run into them. They will ask me which one of my aunts I'm related to. They see the family resemblance very strongly.
When my cousin divorced, he built his ex-wife and kids a house on his 10 acres. They both remarried but no one moved, the kids stayed close to both parents. At funerals and family get togethers, my cousin's ex-wife and her husband show up and fit right in. They are at every funeral, they are at every reunion, they go to the same church as my cousin. Her mom even shows up for things or comes by if something happens in our family.
That would be hot button issues for most places, but in many small communities, it works and many times is living proof of people doing what is best for kids and co-parenting works.
So when trying to look at motive, remember, these type areas are a real sense of community and big issues to us might not be big issues to them.