Are you meaning in your second sentence that the " presumed closeness" of those around Ray and their statements about him don't ring true or are incongruous to you? I mean, I don't THINK you are speaking about case posters, right? One sentence kind of flows into another but I think the second refers to Ray. Please clarify this, because 3 years from now I don't want people reading this to say " Hmm, what were those two at cross purposes about?"
Well, J.J., it all boils down to understanding human behavior, IMO.
( AND you left out the female ADA's online RANT at the entire Internet in general and at you in particular.. Karen Arnold..What the HECK was she so scared of to call many people out whom she didn't know, and to label strangers with some very unflattering monikers??)<<< Rhetorical question, of course.
Let's look at the people close to Ray 12 years ago, OK?
1) Bob B. is the one who is a talking head in a few short snippets in the bios about Ray's missing case. Is it he who said " Ray absolutely would LOVE to show the local cops up? He can outsmart them, and they know it?" or was it the red headed guy who was a cop? (can't recall his name now). The " Z" guy?
Anyway, a person I'd consider to be " in a position to KNOW"
said, in so many words, that Ray was mischievous, that he had a playful side to him because any DA who decides to maybe deliberately vex the police with their innocent leave- taking ( if that's what happened) is smart as a fox and as wily as a coyote.
2) Patty played up her own helplessness, IMO. That's the major emotion I got from her the entire time- helplessness. I didn't see huge sorrow, maybe some anger turned inwards which is called " depression".
3) IF SPS is Steve Sloane, we know Ray was a very good friend to Steve. However, Steve may not have been able to be a " very good" friend to Ray in the last part of Ray's time as DA. Steve had been hurt in a car accident, we all know how badly he was hurt, so much so that Ray " came and read to him in the hospital" many times, we are told.
What Steve was when Ray went missing-- was injured, trying to recover, and apparently still in great pain or on high doses of narcotics in any event.
What Steve was when he was spouting off some stuff about how he really hoped Ray was off leading a good and happy life, laughing and all, was at least physically dependent on the pain meds. by that time. ( It only takes about 2 weeks to develop a physical tolerance, less in some people, regardless of the pain levels).
But, we know that he was not above board with his life at that time. He was already doing some " not great" things when some of the shows were filmed. I am thinking of the " Missing" segment most of all.
4) Lara's statements. She was a college student, then a young working professional, a wife and a mom. Her mother was there to support her at the first press conference, Ray's first wife, and really the ONLY long term relationship that we know of. The marriage to EG was 2 years or so, in terms of living together and sharing a marriage, and the live in situation with Patty had been going on for around 16-18 months at the MOST.
So, Lara was likely reacting as any daughter who didn't " hate" her father would act. I didn't see much demonstrative feelings from her or Barbara, I think it's just the way they are.
Also, I think Patty was " the favored one" with the press for all the recorded media reports on the case because her local resident status and her job at the courthouse caused her to KNOW the LEOs and the press, most likely to some extent, if not closely know them. Also, Patty may have known many members of the State Police through Ray. I can't be sure, but it seems possible.
Lara never seemed extremely emotional, and I never thought she
played up to the cameras, either. She seems straight- forward and honest. Not given to tears on national news feeds, or really " all that involved' in life in PA.
She had moved on. I think she did exactly what she had to do, what she was told by her MOTHER and her attorney to do, and that's it.
Her attorney represented her interests later on, which is likely what I'd do IF I had been instructed to stay out of the picture.
Maybe she had either a worried mom, or a worried attorney, or both regarding the issue of repeated returns to the town where Ray had lived with Patty, and then disappeared..
Also, she might not have exactly loved Patty... No doubt she saw what we saw- Patty was an almost clone of her own mother, just younger. Because both women are what I would call " unusual looking" in that they were not feminine looking, really, both very slight women in size, with very short dark hair and bone structure that caused you to think they were related, and me to gasp at the huge resemblance of the two women he chose. It might have really freaked her out to know that her dad ended up with a younger lookalike to Barbara.
Or maybe she didn't care. I think Lara was so young that her statements are likely to be
THE MOST HONEST.
She had NOTHING to gain by lying, and she doesn't seem to be anything but a straight- talking young woman in the short video I've seen of her.
Patty had an agenda for saying Ray was depressed, was unusually tired, etc. She wanted the medical records released- remember?
We both have agreed that because of this, some of the people in Ray's inner circle may have played up the very symptoms which would lead to a medical records review, and a statement issued about his known general health. I'm sure that Lara had to OK that, unless Ray had given Patty some sort of legal power of attorney or whatever concerning medical decisions.
I think that now, 12 years later, Lara likely has the life she wants and is happy, and has made peace with her father's absence, or knows more than she can ever tell, and has no reason to grieve. We can only speculate, but I don't see " grieving" when Ray was declared legally dead. There has never been any final services or memorial to Ray, with a date of death.
There could be a reason for this. We just don't know, but I think my opinion of " why not" has drastically changed and morphed.
I think almost all of the friends' impressions they gave to the press were likely manipulated.. If someone said" He was as steady as a rock. He never showed much emotion, and that didn't change", what kind of media statement is that? BORING.and not likely to motivate LE to worry about where he was, either.
If someone hints around and says " I don't really know what was BOTHERING Ray, but he slammed doors, seemed curt, and off his game for a few weeks" that will likely get LE to go out beating the bushes for the man, you know?
You've been a part of the media, so ask yourself, " What makes for better press and also would likely cause the police to have more concern for him being missing?" It's the sensationalized, even though it is so minimally sensational. No one said," We found small sized black lace panties which Patty said aren't hers in his belongings" or " A pretty blonde girl had lunch with him for 3 days in the past 2 weeks in this secluded restaurant in Lewisburg and I think she's related to Ivy B." or " There was a souped up red Jeep following him wherever he went".. Nothing alarming, nothing that was a blatant lie- just ENOUGH innuendo that he might have been" worried or concerned" to get LE motivated that this MIGHT be foul play.. or suicide..
Unlike you, I'm on Lara's side this time.
She had NOTHING to lose or gain by being honest. Would Ray hide things from her that he was " acting out" in his own very professional life and office? I don't think so. I think, if anything, that very intelligent people can be under ENORMOUS personal stress and function extremely well professionally. I'd certainly think Ray falls into the " very intelligent" category easily. He'd been a DA for 20 years there. The door slamming and the curtness- I just don't buy it, plus if he was that worried or angry, WHY did he take off and go to Raystown Lake one mid- day for a few hours, and the next day, go on a road trip to Lewisburg? Those are leisurely activities, aren't they? Sure, there's likely a secondary reason behind them, but if he was agitated, I don't think he'd be out and about, but trying to solve the problem that caused the agitation..
However, if the problems were at home, with Patty, this would explain it all. 1) Agitated and curt at work because she was right there in his face, almost day in and day out. 2) He came home to more of the same. 3) Maybe he was wanting out and was impatient to get out. Frustration at how slowly time passes when we have plans made might have caused a few of the office behaviors.
They would NOT affect his relationship with Lara adversely, I don't think. If anything, I think he'd tell Lara how much he loved her more emphatically, knowing that he might not be able to make phone calls to her and maintain his separate new life he had waiting for him. That's not to say Lara hasn't had communication from him in other ways. We just don't know, but I know what you think could have transpired, and I agree with the person whom you think he would have/ might have/ did trust.).
