Peaches Geldof 25 found dead

[spamelope]

http://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle...-my-son-freddy-by-james-mcconnel-9315194.html
After his son Freddy died of an overdose, James McConnel found a diary entry: ‘Peaches is coming and I’m going to inject for the first time.’ Here he tells how addiction destroyed them

A few days after our son Freddy died from a heroin overdose in 2011, we came across the following entry in one of his last diaries: “Peaches is coming over later and I am going to inject for the first time. Perhaps I will die. I hope I don’t.”

In the days after the equally tragic death of Peaches Geldof, calls and emails I received from friends went along the lines of: “So sorry, it must be a painful reminder ...”

Yes, it certainly was — but I was touched by the sentiment. However, the unspoken subtext within one supposedly sympathetic call from a journalist was very clear: “Do you feel a sense of poetic justice?”

No. Of course I don’t. To the contrary, I feel desperately sorry; not just for Peaches herself and how dreadfully unhappy she must have been for so long, but obviously for those left behind; her family and close friends. They are survivors in what is essentially an addiction-fuelled train wreck and their lives will have been shattered.

 

[badhorsie]

IMO and IME drug dealers don't turn up on your doorstep trying to sell you stuff unless you invite them. I have been doing a bit of research and it seems that PGC might have been using for years.
This is so sad, I keep thinking of that poor baby. How long was he alone? Did he cry for his mum? I hope he was safe in his cot.
Poor Peaches, she never had a chance really.
NA is the best resource ever IMHO, I wonder if she was ever directed there?
I am the same age that her mum would have been, I hope this cycle of grief and addiction can be broken and I pray that those boys are protected and kept out of the public eye as they grow up.
In the photos of her husband he looks almost relieved, addicts can cause life to be he!!.

Police are hunting for a drug dealer who gave heroin to Peaches Geldof before she died.

Detectives launched a criminal inquiry into the supply of drugs after it emerged recent heroin use is "likely to have played a role" in her death last month.

http://news.sky.com/story/1253693/peaches-geldof-death-police-hunt-drug-dealer

 

[CanManEh]

when i read the topic here i was thinking well to be tottally honest im not surprised most likely a heart attack because i was thinking it was the girl from the movies that is called prescious. Then i seen the picture and still dont know who she is thou but wow she was pretty.

 

[pinkshoemama]

I am so over the media romanticizing heroin use and treating people who OD as some sort of tragic helpless victim of addiction.

Peaches was found dead with an 11 month old baby. She was NOT this incredibly "devoted loving mother" because no devoted loving mother would even once use heroin after they had a baby. Why? Because once you have a baby that should reset the priorities in your life to "baby first me second."

Like Philip Hoffman Seymour who died on the eve of supposedly picking up his kids the next day, they decided that their feelings, addictions and drug habits were more of a priority than their own children. If someone doesn't love and respect their own children you can tell what kind of narcissitic ruin they really are.

Bottom line all the kids involved in these stories are sadly, better off with the parent dead. One can only imagine what kind of dysfunction they would have endured in their lives.

It's not "sad" or "tragic" etc etc etc. It's selfish irresponsible pathetic loser behavior.

/rant

I have to respectfully disagree with you in regards to the thinking and logic behind individuals who battle addiction & whom are also parents. Specifically children who do have parents or family that fight addiction, they are definitely NOT better off with the parent dead, they are better off with a parent (the addict) recognizing and/or hitting their bottom & than obtaining the help & recovery both the parent & the children need. There are at least 1000 stories to 1 of an addict (who is also a parent) who has found help, hope & is in recovery & able to be the active, healthy parent that their children need & deserve.

I do agree with you that an addicts behavior is absolutely selfish & irresponsible. More times than not, the self medicating mentality begins when they are fighting a very deep, dark pain that they are trying so desperately to fix or feel better from. Sadly, even becoming a mother or father & having every intention of being clean & healthy for their child/children, may be an initial driving force & a true intention, but ultimately the pain that is still there, finds some way or another to seep & creep back to the surface. In Peaches' case, growing up in the environment that she did & having a mother who also used, unfortunately seems to have not been as outrageous of behavior as maybe you or I would consider.

In my opinion only, the "pathetic, loser behavior" you speak of comes from those that chose to judge others so harshly, as to jump to judgement, especially when we do not know the whole story, we do not know specifics of their background, i.e what has been taught as to right or wrong, internal thoughts, reasoning & instead we simply turn a blind eye & blame the media for addressing a very strong, fast & LARGE growing epidemic that latches on & holds on TIGHT with most, just ONE use. In MOO, open judgement only keeps the addict away from getting help. It adds to the already mounting shame & guilt, you may be surprised to know they are TRULY carrying. Addiction favors no one. Race, age, gender, economic status, profession, parent or not. Personally when I see the media's reports or hear about someone in my community who has succumb to addiction, it not only saddens me deeply for those that love the person, but it opens my eyes to, what i feel, is at the root of stopping the progression of this awful epidemic - acceptance that it is out there & it is there. acceptance that 9/10 times it is fueled by a strong metal illness or deep, dark pain. But opening our eyes as a society & stopping the stereo typing & the judging & asking what we can do to HELP.

I could go on & on. I have someone very close to me who has battled addiction. She has won that battle, but it has definitely NOT been an easy road, however, she is also a mother to 2 darling kids. I would rather have stood by her & fought this tooth & nail as we have, than to have turned a blind eye, stereo typing & judging her as a loser or pathetic & than watch those kids loose a woman, who if anything, is made to be a Mother. Its just not a simple cut & dry, loser or winner battle. My heart hurts for Peaches' babies, that they have to loose their MOTHER to a ravaging & ugly disease. If one ounce of good can come of this, may it be those in Peaches' life, children or not, learn & if needed, make drastic changes from this awful tragedy of 2 babies growing up without their own Mother.

 

[Simply Caustic]

I am so over the media romanticizing heroin use and treating people who OD as some sort of tragic helpless victim of addiction.

Peaches was found dead with an 11 month old baby. She was NOT this incredibly "devoted loving mother" because no devoted loving mother would even once use heroin after they had a baby. Why? Because once you have a baby that should reset the priorities in your life to "baby first me second."

Like Philip Hoffman Seymour who died on the eve of supposedly picking up his kids the next day, they decided that their feelings, addictions and drug habits were more of a priority than their own children. If someone doesn't love and respect their own children you can tell what kind of narcissitic ruin they really are.

Bottom line all the kids involved in these stories are sadly, better off with the parent dead. One can only imagine what kind of dysfunction they would have endured in their lives.

It's not "sad" or "tragic" etc etc etc. It's selfish irresponsible pathetic loser behavior.

/rant

I'm a recovering addict. Painkillers, to be specific.

I'm a Mom.

I find your post offensive and incredibly harsh to those who've struggled with, and overcome - because I'm alive by the grace of God and support of a wonderful family/friends.

Sincerely,
A real addict.
3 1/2 years sober.
And damned lucky and proud to have made it.




Via Kindle, like a true Amazon junkie

 

[pinkshoemama]

I am so over the media romanticizing heroin use and treating people who OD as some sort of tragic helpless victim of addiction.

Peaches was found dead with an 11 month old baby. She was NOT this incredibly "devoted loving mother" because no devoted loving mother would even once use heroin after they had a baby. Why? Because once you have a baby that should reset the priorities in your life to "baby first me second."

Like Philip Hoffman Seymour who died on the eve of supposedly picking up his kids the next day, they decided that their feelings, addictions and drug habits were more of a priority than their own children. If someone doesn't love and respect their own children you can tell what kind of narcissitic ruin they really are.

Bottom line all the kids involved in these stories are sadly, better off with the parent dead. One can only imagine what kind of dysfunction they would have endured in their lives.

It's not "sad" or "tragic" etc etc etc. It's selfish irresponsible pathetic loser behavior.

/rant

I'm a recovering addict. Painkillers, to be specific.

I'm a Mom.

I find your post offensive and incredibly harsh to those who've struggled with, and overcome - because I'm alive by the grace of God and support of a wonderful family/friends.

Sincerely,
A real addict.
3 1/2 years sober.
And damned lucky and proud to have made it.




Via Kindle, like a true Amazon junkie

You are inspiring to me. You are honest & forthcoming & i congratulate you on your 3 1/2 years of sobriety. Your words have given me courage to also now, step forward & join you.

I was the "someone very close to me" that i spoke of in my previous post. I also am a recovering addict. I too am a Mother. However, I continue to stand behind my long winded, gently put defense & explanation that addiction & the battles surrounding do not discriminate. It is never as simple as winners vs losers. Period. I am a part of this example from one end of the spectrum to another, a celebrity & Mom to young children in the UK to a young Mom also to young children living in Utah. I do consider Peaches a tragic victim of addiction. But I do not consider her continuous battle (nor myself) as one that deserves a judgement so harsh as to be called "irresponsible pathetic loser" behavior.

Most importantly, my heart HURTS for her babies, Husband & those who loved her. I continue to respectfully disagree that she was not a devoted, loving Mother. I continue to STRONGLY disagree that they are better off having a dead Mother. Nor is she or any other human-being who is or has battled addiction, considered in any regard, a "narcissistic ruin".

/second rant

 

[Simply Caustic]

You are inspiring to me. You are honest & forthcoming & i congratulate you on your 3 1/2 years of sobriety. Your words have given me courage to also now, step forward & join you.



I was the "someone very close to me" that i spoke of in my previous post. I also am a recovering addict. I too am a Mother. However, I continue to stand behind my long winded, gently put defense & explanation that addiction & the battles surrounding do not discriminate. It is never as simple as winners vs losers. Period. I am a part of this example from one end of the spectrum to another, a celebrity & Mom to young children in the UK to a young Mom also to young children living in Utah. I do consider Peaches a tragic victim of addiction. But I do not consider her continuous battle (nor myself) as one that deserves a judgement so harsh as to be called "irresponsible pathetic loser" behavior.



Most importantly, my heart HURTS for her babies, Husband & those who loved her. I continue to respectfully disagree that she was not a devoted, loving Mother. I continue to STRONGLY disagree that they are better off having a dead Mother. Nor is she or any other human-being who is or has battled addiction, considered in any regard, a "narcissistic ruin".



/second rant

^this. You put it perfectly. I agree wholeheartedly.

As to sobriety, congratulations...I'm so glad you decided to tell your story, because your post just might make someone open their eyes to a different point of view. I know it made me smile, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Love WS, it's an eclectic group of critical thinkers, and that's why I dig it so much.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Littlegreenlady]

Thank you so much for putting into words much more elequontly than me what I wanted to respond.

I know of people who have battled addictions and are now living happy and healthy lives and play a strong part in their children's lives - children who are happy and healthy.

Addiction is selfish - but most people are addicted to something - what about smokers? Or people with eating disorders? Depression? Self Harm? Deep down most people have addictions and coping mechanisms that are not healthy. Does this mean they shouldn't have children? No. A lot of people have found strength through having children to be able to give up their addiction. Others struggle. Possibly one of the reason that Peaches struggled was that people told her she *should* give up because of her children. She knew all too well the effects of addiction on a family and possibly beat herself up every day for bringing her children into a similar environment. Maybe... maybe not.

We shouldn't judge other people, and there's nothing pathetic about alcoholism, drug addiction or any other form of addiction. People suffer and people struggle to cope in this world. Some people manage to get on and have "healthier" forms of coping. Others turn to drugs or alcohol and they should be supported and helped, not judged.

Simply Caustic and Pinkshoemama - thank you for having the courage to tell us your stories. Well done for overcoming your addictions and I have nothing but respect for you. :loveyou::loveyou:

I have to respectfully disagree with you in regards to the thinking and logic behind individuals who battle addiction & whom are also parents. Specifically children who do have parents or family that fight addiction, they are definitely NOT better off with the parent dead, they are better off with a parent (the addict) recognizing and/or hitting their bottom & than obtaining the help & recovery both the parent & the children need. There are at least 1000 stories to 1 of an addict (who is also a parent) who has found help, hope & is in recovery & able to be the active, healthy parent that their children need & deserve.

I do agree with you that an addicts behavior is absolutely selfish & irresponsible. More times than not, the self medicating mentality begins when they are fighting a very deep, dark pain that they are trying so desperately to fix or feel better from. Sadly, even becoming a mother or father & having every intention of being clean & healthy for their child/children, may be an initial driving force & a true intention, but ultimately the pain that is still there, finds some way or another to seep & creep back to the surface. In Peaches' case, growing up in the environment that she did & having a mother who also used, unfortunately seems to have not been as outrageous of behavior as maybe you or I would consider.

In my opinion only, the "pathetic, loser behavior" you speak of comes from those that chose to judge others so harshly, as to jump to judgement, especially when we do not know the whole story, we do not know specifics of their background, i.e what has been taught as to right or wrong, internal thoughts, reasoning & instead we simply turn a blind eye & blame the media for addressing a very strong, fast & LARGE growing epidemic that latches on & holds on TIGHT with most, just ONE use. In MOO, open judgement only keeps the addict away from getting help. It adds to the already mounting shame & guilt, you may be surprised to know they are TRULY carrying. Addiction favors no one. Race, age, gender, economic status, profession, parent or not. Personally when I see the media's reports or hear about someone in my community who has succumb to addiction, it not only saddens me deeply for those that love the person, but it opens my eyes to, what i feel, is at the root of stopping the progression of this awful epidemic - acceptance that it is out there & it is there. acceptance that 9/10 times it is fueled by a strong metal illness or deep, dark pain. But opening our eyes as a society & stopping the stereo typing & the judging & asking what we can do to HELP.

I could go on & on. I have someone very close to me who has battled addiction. She has won that battle, but it has definitely NOT been an easy road, however, she is also a mother to 2 darling kids. I would rather have stood by her & fought this tooth & nail as we have, than to have turned a blind eye, stereo typing & judging her as a loser or pathetic & than watch those kids loose a woman, who if anything, is made to be a Mother. Its just not a simple cut & dry, loser or winner battle. My heart hurts for Peaches' babies, that they have to loose their MOTHER to a ravaging & ugly disease. If one ounce of good can come of this, may it be those in Peaches' life, children or not, learn & if needed, make drastic changes from this awful tragedy of 2 babies growing up without their own Mother.

 

[Chewy]

I'm a recovering addict. Painkillers, to be specific.

I'm a Mom.

I find your post offensive and incredibly harsh to those who've struggled with, and overcome - because I'm alive by the grace of God and support of a wonderful family/friends.

Sincerely,
A real addict.
3 1/2 years sober.
And damned lucky and proud to have made it.




Via Kindle, like a true Amazon junkie

Good for you. I would wager however you don't have the means that Peaches and PSH had to get the help you need.

And my priority is the child, not the feelings of the parent. Anyone using heroin with a baby in the home, addict or not, is a danger to that child and IMO the children should be immediately removed from the home.

The 11 month baby in this situation could have died while she was trying to get her fix. Even addicts know the potential danger of heroin.

Some addictions I can understand. But not heroin and not around babies. It's one thing to be doing such things around kids but babies are at the complete mercy of their caregivers. I don't care if it sounds "mean and judgmental" because the fact that the focus is still on the "feelings of the poor addict" rather than the safety and well being of a BABY is really twisted in my mind.

And I'm tired of the media spinning these stories about the victimhood of heroin addicts instead of saying the truth. "You shouldn't be using heroin around babies. If you are you should hand those kids over to someone immediately and go get help. If you are using heroin in the house with a baby you aren't a loving mother at all."

Congratulations on your success. I hope that you continue to stay sober. Pain killers are an unfair addiction to have to deal with, they sneak up on you. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I wouldn't wish it on anyone and you should really be proud of yourself that you beat them. It is a very hard thing to do. Sending you love and positivity.

 

[Chewy]

I have to respectfully disagree with you in regards to the thinking and logic behind individuals who battle addiction & whom are also parents. Specifically children who do have parents or family that fight addiction, they are definitely NOT better off with the parent dead, they are better off with a parent (the addict) recognizing and/or hitting their bottom & than obtaining the help & recovery both the parent & the children need. There are at least 1000 stories to 1 of an addict (who is also a parent) who has found help, hope & is in recovery & able to be the active, healthy parent that their children need & deserve.

I do agree with you that an addicts behavior is absolutely selfish & irresponsible. More times than not, the self medicating mentality begins when they are fighting a very deep, dark pain that they are trying so desperately to fix or feel better from. Sadly, even becoming a mother or father & having every intention of being clean & healthy for their child/children, may be an initial driving force & a true intention, but ultimately the pain that is still there, finds some way or another to seep & creep back to the surface. In Peaches' case, growing up in the environment that she did & having a mother who also used, unfortunately seems to have not been as outrageous of behavior as maybe you or I would consider.

In my opinion only, the "pathetic, loser behavior" you speak of comes from those that chose to judge others so harshly, as to jump to judgement, especially when we do not know the whole story, we do not know specifics of their background, i.e what has been taught as to right or wrong, internal thoughts, reasoning & instead we simply turn a blind eye & blame the media for addressing a very strong, fast & LARGE growing epidemic that latches on & holds on TIGHT with most, just ONE use. In MOO, open judgement only keeps the addict away from getting help. It adds to the already mounting shame & guilt, you may be surprised to know they are TRULY carrying. Addiction favors no one. Race, age, gender, economic status, profession, parent or not. Personally when I see the media's reports or hear about someone in my community who has succumb to addiction, it not only saddens me deeply for those that love the person, but it opens my eyes to, what i feel, is at the root of stopping the progression of this awful epidemic - acceptance that it is out there & it is there. acceptance that 9/10 times it is fueled by a strong metal illness or deep, dark pain. But opening our eyes as a society & stopping the stereo typing & the judging & asking what we can do to HELP.

I could go on & on. I have someone very close to me who has battled addiction. She has won that battle, but it has definitely NOT been an easy road, however, she is also a mother to 2 darling kids. I would rather have stood by her & fought this tooth & nail as we have, than to have turned a blind eye, stereo typing & judging her as a loser or pathetic & than watch those kids loose a woman, who if anything, is made to be a Mother. Its just not a simple cut & dry, loser or winner battle. My heart hurts for Peaches' babies, that they have to loose their MOTHER to a ravaging & ugly disease. If one ounce of good can come of this, may it be those in Peaches' life, children or not, learn & if needed, make drastic changes from this awful tragedy of 2 babies growing up without their own Mother.

I have NO SYMPATHY for any heroin addict that continues to use after they have a baby. You can try to convince me six ways to Sunday that they are a victim but I don't agree. Especially when they continue to have babies when they know they struggle with addiction. The question was asked "Does this mean they shouldn't have children?" And the answer is OF COURSE. Of course they shouldn't continue to have children if they are addicted to heroin. What kind of sick sense does it make to justify putting a baby in this situation because not only does the mother want to do heroin, she also wants to have a baby? That's the height of selfishness right there. You don't put innocent babies in helpless situations like this. You grow up and face reality and get the help you need because the child is more important than you.

A friend of mine has a daughter who at the moment is going through heroin recovery. She and her husband both got addicted and they are both trying to get sober.

They have a 1 year old baby and a five year old child. They shared a story about how sweet it was when "mommy was going through withdrawal" the five year old came and laid his head on her chest while she was shaking and said "I love you mommy, feel better"

Apparently this moved the mother to tears an she was overwhelmed with how tough and loving her little boy was.

I wanted to slap her across the face. A five year old should not be in the position of giving "love" to recovering mommy. She shouldn't have taken heroin in the first place. She started using recreationally AFTER she had her youngest child.

Like I said before, some addictions I can understand. Painkillers can sneak up on you. But heroin? No freakin' way. There isn't a person on the planet that doesn't know how dangerous heroin is.


I finally told my friend that she needed to stop telling me the stories because I wanted to call child protective services immediately.


I said HEROIN. I didn't say any other addiction. I said HEROIN so please stop parading the NA and AA stories through the thread as if I said "addicts"

I said HEROIN. And I stand by my comment. I believe children of heroin addicts in these situations are better off with the parent out of their lives forever. I've already witnessed my friends kid, break an arm in the house while mommy was "sleeping." He was 4 and half years old and fell off the counter while he was trying to cook eggs because he was hungry. He's the kind of kid you can look at and just read NEGLECT all over him. Constantly gaunt with hollowed eyes. A few weeks ago she called to ask if I would go over and watch her kids for her while she "ran to the store to get baby food" I agreed but said since it was so cold that my husband would drive me over, I'd go upstairs and he'd take her to the store and bring her back. She balked stating she wanted to "walk." I said, OK (thinking maybe she needed some fresh air or felt uncomfortable in the car with my husband) he'll wait outside, I'll just wait upstairs and then when you come back he'll bring me home. She refused again. Then I offered to go pick up the baby food for her. She refused again. She was going to meet her dealer. She didn't want to be committed to having to quickly come back home to her kids. That's what heroin addiction looks like. Not victimhood.

Everyone knows the danger of heroin. It isn't an "accidental" addiction that arises, you need to go out and break the law to get it it. You need to actively seek out this drug. You need to be doing this while you are sober getting to get your next fix. Someone who does this when they have small children is indeed a pathetic selfish loser. Not a victim.



The two stories don't line up in a victim way. How does the mother of an infant "fall into heroin abuse?"


Other addictions are difficult to overcome as well. I know alcoholic moms and other types of addicts (like painkillers) that were basically able to stay functioning and keep it from their kids. But heroin? Sorry. No sympathy here.


Here's what happens when you take heroin

Heroin side effects have a physical impact on the user’s central nervous system. There are also many psychological side effects of heroin. When a person takes heroin, the initial feeling they experience is a rush or euphoria. The user’s mouth will become dry and they often begin to nod in and out of consciousness. Additionally, their arms and legs will begin to feel very heavy. Users will experience diminished mental capacity and dulled emotions. The effects of this drug typically last 3 to 4 hours from the time of the user’s last dose.

This isn't "getting high" or "righting the ship" or "mellowing out." This is nodding in and out of consciousness with an infant in the house. Absolutely NO justification will make this make sense to me. Anything could go wrong in the home while mom is unconscious.

Peaches was alone, in the house with an 11 month old baby and she did this.

 

[pinkshoemama]

I have NO SYMPATHY for any heroin addict that continues to use after they have a baby. You can try to convince me six ways to Sunday that they are a victim but I don't agree. Especially when they continue to have babies when they know they struggle with addiction. The question was asked "Does this mean they shouldn't have children?" And the answer is OF COURSE. Of course they shouldn't continue to have children if they are addicted to heroin. What kind of sick sense does it make to justify putting a baby in this situation because not only does the mother want to do heroin, she also wants to have a baby? That's the height of selfishness right there. You don't put innocent babies in helpless situations like this. You grow up and face reality and get the help you need because the child is more important than you.

A friend of mine has a daughter who at the moment is going through heroin recovery. She and her husband both got addicted and they are both trying to get sober.

They have a 1 year old baby and a five year old child. They shared a story about how sweet it was when "mommy was going through withdrawal" the five year old came and laid his head on her chest while she was shaking and said "I love you mommy, feel better"

Apparently this moved the mother to tears an she was overwhelmed with how tough and loving her little boy was.

I wanted to slap her across the face. A five year old should not be in the position of giving "love" to recovering mommy. She shouldn't have taken heroin in the first place. She started using recreationally AFTER she had her youngest child.

Like I said before, some addictions I can understand. Painkillers can sneak up on you. But heroin? No freakin' way. There isn't a person on the planet that doesn't know how dangerous heroin is.


I finally told my friend that she needed to stop telling me the stories because I wanted to call child protective services immediately.


I said HEROIN. I didn't say any other addiction. I said HEROIN so please stop parading the NA and AA stories through the thread as if I said "addicts"

I said HEROIN. And I stand by my comment. I believe children of heroin addicts in these situations are better off with the parent out of their lives forever. I've already witnessed my friends kid, break an arm in the house while mommy was "sleeping." He was 4 and half years old and fell off the counter while he was trying to cook eggs because he was hungry. He's the kind of kid you can look at and just read NEGLECT all over him. Constantly gaunt with hollowed eyes. A few weeks ago she called to ask if I would go over and watch her kids for her while she "ran to the store to get baby food" I agreed but said since it was so cold that my husband would drive me over, I'd go upstairs and he'd take her to the store and bring her back. She balked stating she wanted to "walk." I said, OK (thinking maybe she needed some fresh air or felt uncomfortable in the car with my husband) he'll wait outside, I'll just wait upstairs and then when you come back he'll bring me home. She refused again. Then I offered to go pick up the baby food for her. She refused again. She was going to meet her dealer. She didn't want to be committed to having to quickly come back home to her kids. That's what heroin addiction looks like. Not victimhood.

Everyone knows the danger of heroin. It isn't an "accidental" addiction that arises, you need to go out and break the law to get it it. You need to actively seek out this drug. You need to be doing this while you are sober getting to get your next fix. Someone who does this when they have small children is indeed a pathetic selfish loser. Not a victim.



The two stories don't line up in a victim way. How does the mother of an infant "fall into heroin abuse?"


Other addictions are difficult to overcome as well. I know alcoholic moms and other types of addicts (like painkillers) that were basically able to stay functioning and keep it from their kids. But heroin? Sorry. No sympathy here.


Here's what happens when you take heroin



This isn't "getting high" or "righting the ship" or "mellowing out." This is nodding in and out of consciousness with an infant in the house. Absolutely NO justification will make this make sense to me. Anything could go wrong in the home while mom is unconscious.

Peaches was alone, in the house with an 11 month old baby and she did this.

Chewy, your opinion is respected. I just choose to disagree, more specifically with the labeling your original post included. Because of being on both sides of the coin, I simply do not believe it is a winner or "loser" battle. We still do not know the specifics in regards to Peaches' fight with addiction. Saying a child is better off with a dead parent just does not sit well with me.

Peaches story is so terribly sad. The experience that you shared is just as terribly sad. Your initial threat to your friend to call CPS is one option to a solution. The fear or reality of this woman loosing her children may be just what is needed to shake her to her rock bottom AND than allow her to get the help she so desperately needs. Help comes in all forms, free to tens of thousand of dollars.

Once again i could go on & on. But i have a feeling this specific thread is not the time or place to try to bring about an difference of vantage point & try to open your eyes of such. I will continue to feel great sadness for children specifically who have lost a parent to addiction. I will also continue to feel immense joy for children who have gained a parent back from the throws of addiction. Including my own. Lessons can be learned on all sides.

 

[SapphireSteel]

I have NO SYMPATHY for any heroin addict that continues to use after they have a baby. You can try to convince me six ways to Sunday that they are a victim but I don't agree. Especially when they continue to have babies when they know they struggle with addiction. The question was asked "Does this mean they shouldn't have children?" And the answer is OF COURSE. Of course they shouldn't continue to have children if they are addicted to heroin. What kind of sick sense does it make to justify putting a baby in this situation because not only does the mother want to do heroin, she also wants to have a baby? That's the height of selfishness right there. You don't put innocent babies in helpless situations like this. You grow up and face reality and get the help you need because the child is more important than you.

A friend of mine has a daughter who at the moment is going through heroin recovery. She and her husband both got addicted and they are both trying to get sober.

They have a 1 year old baby and a five year old child. They shared a story about how sweet it was when "mommy was going through withdrawal" the five year old came and laid his head on her chest while she was shaking and said "I love you mommy, feel better"

Apparently this moved the mother to tears an she was overwhelmed with how tough and loving her little boy was.

I wanted to slap her across the face. A five year old should not be in the position of giving "love" to recovering mommy. She shouldn't have taken heroin in the first place. She started using recreationally AFTER she had her youngest child.

Like I said before, some addictions I can understand. Painkillers can sneak up on you. But heroin? No freakin' way. There isn't a person on the planet that doesn't know how dangerous heroin is.


I finally told my friend that she needed to stop telling me the stories because I wanted to call child protective services immediately.


I said HEROIN. I didn't say any other addiction. I said HEROIN so please stop parading the NA and AA stories through the thread as if I said "addicts"

I said HEROIN. And I stand by my comment. I believe children of heroin addicts in these situations are better off with the parent out of their lives forever. I've already witnessed my friends kid, break an arm in the house while mommy was "sleeping." He was 4 and half years old and fell off the counter while he was trying to cook eggs because he was hungry. He's the kind of kid you can look at and just read NEGLECT all over him. Constantly gaunt with hollowed eyes. A few weeks ago she called to ask if I would go over and watch her kids for her while she "ran to the store to get baby food" I agreed but said since it was so cold that my husband would drive me over, I'd go upstairs and he'd take her to the store and bring her back. She balked stating she wanted to "walk." I said, OK (thinking maybe she needed some fresh air or felt uncomfortable in the car with my husband) he'll wait outside, I'll just wait upstairs and then when you come back he'll bring me home. She refused again. Then I offered to go pick up the baby food for her. She refused again. She was going to meet her dealer. She didn't want to be committed to having to quickly come back home to her kids. That's what heroin addiction looks like. Not victimhood.

Everyone knows the danger of heroin. It isn't an "accidental" addiction that arises, you need to go out and break the law to get it it. You need to actively seek out this drug. You need to be doing this while you are sober getting to get your next fix. Someone who does this when they have small children is indeed a pathetic selfish loser. Not a victim.



The two stories don't line up in a victim way. How does the mother of an infant "fall into heroin abuse?"


Other addictions are difficult to overcome as well. I know alcoholic moms and other types of addicts (like painkillers) that were basically able to stay functioning and keep it from their kids. But heroin? Sorry. No sympathy here.


Here's what happens when you take heroin



This isn't "getting high" or "righting the ship" or "mellowing out." This is nodding in and out of consciousness with an infant in the house. Absolutely NO justification will make this make sense to me. Anything could go wrong in the home while mom is unconscious.

Peaches was alone, in the house with an 11 month old baby and she did this.

Peaches herself was born to a heroin addict.

Her mother OD'd on heroin - clearly, no recovery there.

How on earth is Peaches supposed to rise above something that is as common as mud, in her social arena, used while she was in the womb, then later when she was in the room?

Being born addicted with lots of money and grief and chitty parenting by drug addicts, means that statistically, Peaches didn't have a chance.

Poor kid.

 

[Simply Caustic]

I have NO SYMPATHY for any heroin addict that continues to use after they have a baby. You can try to convince me six ways to Sunday that they are a victim but I don't agree. Especially when they continue to have babies when they know they struggle with addiction. The question was asked "Does this mean they shouldn't have children?" And the answer is OF COURSE. Of course they shouldn't continue to have children if they are addicted to heroin. What kind of sick sense does it make to justify putting a baby in this situation because not only does the mother want to do heroin, she also wants to have a baby? That's the height of selfishness right there. You don't put innocent babies in helpless situations like this. You grow up and face reality and get the help you need because the child is more important than you.

A friend of mine has a daughter who at the moment is going through heroin recovery. She and her husband both got addicted and they are both trying to get sober.

They have a 1 year old baby and a five year old child. They shared a story about how sweet it was when "mommy was going through withdrawal" the five year old came and laid his head on her chest while she was shaking and said "I love you mommy, feel better"

Apparently this moved the mother to tears an she was overwhelmed with how tough and loving her little boy was.

I wanted to slap her across the face. A five year old should not be in the position of giving "love" to recovering mommy. She shouldn't have taken heroin in the first place. She started using recreationally AFTER she had her youngest child.

Like I said before, some addictions I can understand. Painkillers can sneak up on you. But heroin? No freakin' way. There isn't a person on the planet that doesn't know how dangerous heroin is.


I finally told my friend that she needed to stop telling me the stories because I wanted to call child protective services immediately.


I said HEROIN. I didn't say any other addiction. I said HEROIN so please stop parading the NA and AA stories through the thread as if I said "addicts"

I said HEROIN. And I stand by my comment. I believe children of heroin addicts in these situations are better off with the parent out of their lives forever. I've already witnessed my friends kid, break an arm in the house while mommy was "sleeping." He was 4 and half years old and fell off the counter while he was trying to cook eggs because he was hungry. He's the kind of kid you can look at and just read NEGLECT all over him. Constantly gaunt with hollowed eyes. A few weeks ago she called to ask if I would go over and watch her kids for her while she "ran to the store to get baby food" I agreed but said since it was so cold that my husband would drive me over, I'd go upstairs and he'd take her to the store and bring her back. She balked stating she wanted to "walk." I said, OK (thinking maybe she needed some fresh air or felt uncomfortable in the car with my husband) he'll wait outside, I'll just wait upstairs and then when you come back he'll bring me home. She refused again. Then I offered to go pick up the baby food for her. She refused again. She was going to meet her dealer. She didn't want to be committed to having to quickly come back home to her kids. That's what heroin addiction looks like. Not victimhood.

Everyone knows the danger of heroin. It isn't an "accidental" addiction that arises, you need to go out and break the law to get it it. You need to actively seek out this drug. You need to be doing this while you are sober getting to get your next fix. Someone who does this when they have small children is indeed a pathetic selfish loser. Not a victim.



The two stories don't line up in a victim way. How does the mother of an infant "fall into heroin abuse?"


Other addictions are difficult to overcome as well. I know alcoholic moms and other types of addicts (like painkillers) that were basically able to stay functioning and keep it from their kids. But heroin? Sorry. No sympathy here.


Here's what happens when you take heroin



This isn't "getting high" or "righting the ship" or "mellowing out." This is nodding in and out of consciousness with an infant in the house. Absolutely NO justification will make this make sense to me. Anything could go wrong in the home while mom is unconscious.

Peaches was alone, in the house with an 11 month old baby and she did this.

If you can "read NEGLECT All over him", as you wrote, then it would be, imo, unwise, not to report it. An absolute travesty to pass on the opportunity to be a saving grace for that child.
I'm not judging you or your decisions, but that sentence broke my heart.
And that's just my opinion, of course. With respect to all posters.

Via Kindle, like a true Amazon junkie

 

[Chewy]

Chewy, your opinion is respected. I just choose to disagree, more specifically with the labeling your original post included. Because of being on both sides of the coin, I simply do not believe it is a winner or "loser" battle. We still do not know the specifics in regards to Peaches' fight with addiction. Saying a child is better off with a dead parent just does not sit well with me.

Peaches story is so terribly sad. The experience that you shared is just as terribly sad. Your initial threat to your friend to call CPS is one option to a solution. The fear or reality of this woman loosing her children may be just what is needed to shake her to her rock bottom AND than allow her to get the help she so desperately needs. Help comes in all forms, free to tens of thousand of dollars.

Once again i could go on & on. But i have a feeling this specific thread is not the time or place to try to bring about an difference of vantage point & try to open your eyes of such. I will continue to feel great sadness for children specifically who have lost a parent to addiction. I will also continue to feel immense joy for children who have gained a parent back from the throws of addiction. Including my own. Lessons can be learned on all sides.

I'm not telling anyone else how to feel. I just think it's time to be honest about heroin. Years ago it was a huge shock if you did heroin. Nowadays since you can snort it, it's turned into a regular habit.

And part of the problem IMHO is the way the media spins it as some casual recreational drug when the fact is, it's pretty much guaranteed that someone is going to get hurt if they start using.

Peaches herself was born to a heroin addict.

Her mother OD'd on heroin - clearly, no recovery there.

How on earth is Peaches supposed to rise above something that is as common as mud, in her social arena, used while she was in the womb, then later when she was in the room?

Being born addicted with lots of money and grief and chitty parenting by drug addicts, means that statistically, Peaches didn't have a chance.

Poor kid.

She's not supposed to have kids then. That's the problem. If she was just a heroin addict ala Amy Winehouse, I'd have more sympathy. But why at 25 do you have TWO kids knowing that you are struggling with heroin. That's what pisses me off. Don't keep having babies if you are addicted to heroin.

If you can "read NEGLECT All over him", as you wrote, then it would be, imo, unwise, not to report it. An absolute travesty to pass on the opportunity to be a saving grace for that child.
I'm not judging you or your decisions, but that sentence broke my heart.
And that's just my opinion, of course. With respect to all posters.

Via Kindle, like a true Amazon junkie

The only reason I didn't is because he has two very involved grandmothers who have stepped in. The mother lied to them and I think they felt at first, that they were being too "judgmental" if they stepped in. But once he broke his arm and her boyfriend told them she was using, they stepped in and told her to get help.

I'm not going to call while she's trying to get help. And interestingly, I found out that her dealer came around again and she told him she was trying to get clean. He said she should as a mother and that he would never try to sell to her again. Which frankly, I think is an incredibly decent thing for a drug dealer to do.

 

[Sarahlou]

Peaches herself was born to a heroin addict.

Her mother OD'd on heroin - clearly, no recovery there.

How on earth is Peaches supposed to rise above something that is as common as mud, in her social arena, used while she was in the womb, then later when she was in the room?

Being born addicted with lots of money and grief and chitty parenting by drug addicts, means that statistically, Peaches didn't have a chance.

Poor kid.

I think this is incorrect. Paula didn't use Heroin until she dated Michael Hutchence. Peaches was already born then.

 

[spamelope]

I think this is incorrect. Paula didn't use Heroin until she dated Michael Hutchence. Peaches was already born then.

I read that Paula died because she wasn't used to it. From Wiki: The coroner ruled that it was not a suicide, but a result of "foolish and incautious" behaviour.[15][16] A friend disclosed during the inquest, that Yates hadn't taken illegal drugs for nearly two years, and the coroner, Paul Knapman, concluded that though the amount Yates had taken would not have killed an addict, as "an unsophisticated taker of heroin" Yates had no tolerance to the drug.[17] [ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paula_Yates"]Paula Yates - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/ame]

Peaches had been told she wouldn't be able to have children. She was pretty far along when she found out, iirc.
Addiction knows no socioeconomic boundaries. It appears she was trying to get help and so I will not fault her for having been unsuccessful. I'm thankful that though I've suffered from many other addictions, I was warned long ago never to even try this once, or I would be an addict. Thank you to the folks on here who shared their stories. I am so glad you're here with us! You are an inspiration.

 

[tezi]

I'm a recovering addict. Painkillers, to be specific.

I'm a Mom.

I find your post offensive and incredibly harsh to those who've struggled with, and overcome - because I'm alive by the grace of God and support of a wonderful family/friends.

Sincerely,
A real addict.
3 1/2 years sober.
And damned lucky and proud to have made it.




Via Kindle, like a true Amazon junkie

Exactly. Thank you for this.

 

[SapphireSteel]

I think this is incorrect. Paula didn't use Heroin until she dated Michael Hutchence. Peaches was already born then.

Paula and Sir Bob both used, all the way through their marriage.

They met in the early 80's, EVERYONE in that London scene was using back then.

I am depressed beyond words that the police are looking for whoever supplied the heroin - now she's dead.

Peaches was involved in the death of another young man, where was the police investigation then?

So sad, all of it.

Oh and btw...all those so-called "sober" celebrities? Ha! Hahah!

If ordinary folks had a clue what happens in those circles, they wouldn't believe it....!

 

[Public_Hysteria]

Poor kid, I really think this just shows how terrible addiction can be.

Exactly. Not to mention that no matter how long you have been sober, or what reasons you have to stay that way, addiction is something that the addict will struggle with for their entire lives. It's not as simple as getting sober and the physical and mental cravings are gone. Some days it will be easy, others not so much, but at the end of the day, an addict is always going to struggle with their addiction, whether sober or not.

Addiction doesn't discriminate between different substances either. Addiction is very similar whether you're an alcoholic or a junkie. I have great sympathy for Peaches, she was no doubt trying to cope with her addiction, but failed in the end. The guilt this poor girl would have lived with after each binge would have been tremendous, and when you're fighting something as big as addiction it can quite easily break you. Unless you've actually lived with it, it's a hard concept to understand, but at the end of the day, only an addict can truly understand the nature of addiction. It's such a personal struggle.

My thoughts are with her loved ones during this difficult time. This family have definitely had more than their fair share of heartache.

 

[spamelope]

Peaches Geldof's home raided twice by thieves since her death...and they even took the lawnmower pictured in treasured family photograph

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...reasured-family-photograph.html#ixzz31a7Xgcw3
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