Poll:Why Do You Think Cindy Is Protecting Casey???

[OneLostGrl]

Cindy was the one who finally reported Caylee missing. IIRC George was heard saying in the background "You already called?" This would indicate he would not have already called if it had been left up to him. He went to work after driving a smelly car home from the impound lot just the same as CA did. They both were in denial.

How come everyone, the majority of us women, are so hard on CA?

She may be trying to control her world because it was spinning out of control. Did she make George gamble away their (her) money? STRESS. Did she make George log on to *advertiser censored*? STRESS. Did she make KC pregnant as a teenager? STRESS

Who was the better role model? The parent who held a full time job consistently for many many years or the one who hadn't held down a good paying job over the life of his children practically? Who came home from working all day to look after a little one while facing her 50th B-day? George said himself that he hardly ever had the responsibility of looking after Caylee without either CA or KC being there as well.

Hey if you want to wear the pants in the family then you had better take some responsibility for the family. What the hell?

They are all quilty of something but why so easy on GA and so hard on CA? He's ex LE for God's sake. Has he been making good decisions?

It's been rumored that he is the one with mental illness in his family background so maybe CA's been dealing with those issues too.

KC and Lee wrote "it would be awkward to see him" referring to a Father's day after Caylee had been born. Why?

Someone please explain why CA is to blame whereas GA gets a pass. Please.

Also, what did CA find out several days after KC's arrest that made her change her story and the intensity of her reaction? Why didn't GA seem panicked like CA sounded in her initial 911 calls?

George doesn't get a pass, not from me anyway. The difference (for me) is that George's issues are pretty consistant. He is child-like, allows himself to be controlled by his wife (mother?!) (to me, he is very much like a person who after having been in jail since age 16 re-enters the world at like 30.. They have no clue how to act.. their decisions, their meals, their daily agenda's etc. have been made for them for so long- they end up breaking another law just so they can go back to jail.. it's all they know) he is weak and sad and has wicked low self-esteem.. The man is a shell, like he's been completely sucked dry.. it seems to me that he needs Cindy to make his decisions for him. I think he'd lay down in the road and let the bus run him over if Cindy said that is what she wanted from him.

But on his own? I think he's just a lump who does the same things and acts and reacts the same way every day.. no surprises, no fears of what to expect, just lazy ol' loser dad that they can all make fun of.

Neither parent is "well" IMO, but having a parent who is consistent in their behaviors (even if it's in their denial or neglect) is often the only positive for kids in homes like this. I can't help but wonder what George's issue is/was with his dad (that's pretty extreme, throwing your own father through a window!).

 

[magic-cat]

George doesn't get a pass, not from me anyway. The difference (for me) is that George's issues are pretty consistant. He is child-like, allows himself to be controlled by his wife (mother?!) (to me, he is very much like a person who after having been in jail since age 16 re-enters the world at like 30.. They have no clue how to act.. their decisions, their meals, their daily agenda's etc. have been made for them for so long- they end up breaking another law just so they can go back to jail.. it's all they know) he is weak and sad and has wicked low self-esteem.. The man is a shell, like he's been completely sucked dry.. it seems to me that he needs Cindy to make his decisions for him. I think he'd lay down in the road and let the bus run him over if Cindy said that is what she wanted from him.

But on his own? I think he's just a lump who does the same things and acts and reacts the same way every day.. no surprises, no fears of what to expect, just lazy ol' loser dad that they can all make fun of.

Neither parent is "well" IMO, but having a parent who is consistent in their behaviors (even if it's in their denial or neglect) is often the only positive for kids in homes like this. I can't help but wonder what George's issue is/was with his dad (that's pretty extreme, throwing your own father through a window!).

George does not get a pass from me either. I think the title should be Why are Cindy AND George protecting Casey, because they are both doing it. They are both participating-just like they both particpated in the enabling of...:slap:

 

[Theonly1]

My guess why people are harder on Cindy than George:

Cindy's more "in your face" whereas George is in the background.
Cindy appears to be more controlling than George.
George appears "softer" than Cindy emotionally.

 

[FORDANIEL]

Guilt for whatever reason,something her daughter doesn't seem capable of feeling.

 

[concentric]

I said guilt, because that word in itself encompasses some of the others.

This may seem weird, and I'm trying to explain it:

In the video tape of the bond hearing, as to whether KC should be released to the home, I cannot get the image out of my mind mind of CA pressing her fingers on her closed lips then indicating to KC: I interpret this as both a kiss and a promise to keep my mouth shut so that CA doesn't jeopardize KC's position any more than it already is.

For me, that was the first signal that CA was feeling guilty and trying to "fix it" or "make it all better" for KC, but mostly for herself.

 

[gardenhart]

My guess why people are harder on Cindy than George:

Cindy's more "in your face" whereas George is in the background.
Cindy appears to be more controlling than George.
George appears "softer" than Cindy emotionally.

Yes, all of the above. For me, though, it's because he did speak to the grand jury and appeared to be at least trying to help in his police interviews.

I think even moreso, Cindy's behavior is so inappropriate - acting flirty with police, getting angry and confrontational, her obvious glee when she thinks she can get back at someone, etc. At some gut level, consciously and unconsciously, this sets off alarms.

Maybe George is just better at soothing our normal human reaction to creepy behavior, perhaps better at hiding his true self than Cindy, who doesn't appear to have a lot of self control. I do think we react with instinctive alarm or wariness to angry, confrontational people and not to weak, ineffective seeming people. I don't know.

 

[Reality Orlando]

Great post. One other point I'd like to add- When advised by her "counsler" to take caylee from Casey or kick Casey out, not only did Cindy claim to not be able to afford it, she stopped going to therapy all together once it was suggested because she was un-willing to stop her enabling of Casey.

Just for a minute, let's put ourselves in Cindy's shoes.

If she kicked KC out, what would happen to Caylee? As a grandparent, how could she kick her daughter out with no place to go and likely to take her granddaughter as well? How could she do that? Realistically? Could you? I know I couldn't, not with a small child involved.

Cindy was in desperate financial shape...none of which seems to be her doing. With little to go against KC, how would she gain custody of Caylee? How could she have afforded what would probably amount to thousands of dollars in legal fees in a fight where she probably had very little to no chance of winning? If she did go the legal route and press charges for KC's thefts from family, how would KC ever get a job with a record for theft? I think she was stuck between a rock and a hard spot.

The fact that she was attending counseling tells me she was trying to come to some remedy concerning the problems she was facing, but most likely got frustrated with the only choices presenting themselves..neither one of them probably seeming feasible.

I personally can't judge CA for her role in this...KC was an adult who chose to do whatever she did to her daughter and I don't see Cindy for the monster she's often made out to be, but instead a very frustrated mother trying to figure out how to get her grown, adult daughter to take responsibility for her life and that of her child. JMO.

 

[Themis]

CA is loyal to KC because:
1. Caylee is deceased and she can't do anything more for Caylee.
2. KC is her daughter.
A. It isn't because KC is a good daughter. It is because CA wants to be a "good mother" to the daughter she wishes she had; and
B. CA wants to be perceived as a "good mother." ("I was a good mother.")
3. CA sees the prosecution as "the enemy."

 

[RR0004]

Just for a minute, let's put ourselves in Cindy's shoes.

If she kicked KC out, what would happen to Caylee? As a grandparent, how could she kick her daughter out with no place to go and likely to take her granddaughter as well? How could she do that? Realistically? Could you? I know I couldn't, not with a small child involved.

Cindy was in desperate financial shape...none of which seems to be her doing. With little to go against KC, how would she gain custody of Caylee? How could she have afforded what would probably amount to thousands of dollars in legal fees in a fight where she probably had very little to no chance of winning? If she did go the legal route and press charges for KC's thefts from family, how would KC ever get a job with a record for theft? I think she was stuck between a rock and a hard spot.

The fact that she was attending counseling tells me she was trying to come to some remedy concerning the problems she was facing, but most likely got frustrated with the only choices presenting themselves..neither one of them probably seeming feasible.

I personally can't judge CA for her role in this...KC was an adult who chose to do whatever she did to her daughter and I don't see Cindy for the monster she's often made out to be, but instead a very frustrated mother trying to figure out how to get her grown, adult daughter to take responsibility for her life and that of her child. JMO.

Ya know, for the most part I agree with you. But, we all have choices. CA had choices. Much easier IMO to say it's someone else's fault for the things that are happening in our lives...but even under the very worst conditions, there's always a way out. To me, Cindy got some satisfaction out of playing the victim. She seemed to complain enough to her mother and co-workers. She had a choice to make things better. I wish she had continued with her therapy. It very well may have been too difficult for her to look at herself and see how she was contributing to the problem. I don't think she got past the complaining part there either. Why didn't she consider taking Casey and George with her for family counseling so everyone could work out a better living arrangement? I think there was a lot of anger in that home. I wish Cindy had stayed in therapy for herself.
As far as the poll...I voted "other"...personally, I think Cindy has to support Casey...it would just reflect so badly on her if she didn't. JMHO

 

[Theonly1]

Just for a minute, let's put ourselves in Cindy's shoes.

If she kicked KC out, what would happen to Caylee? As a grandparent, how could she kick her daughter out with no place to go and likely to take her granddaughter as well? How could she do that? Realistically? Could you? I know I couldn't, not with a small child involved.

Cindy was in desperate financial shape...none of which seems to be her doing. With little to go against KC, how would she gain custody of Caylee? How could she have afforded what would probably amount to thousands of dollars in legal fees in a fight where she probably had very little to no chance of winning? If she did go the legal route and press charges for KC's thefts from family, how would KC ever get a job with a record for theft? I think she was stuck between a rock and a hard spot.

The fact that she was attending counseling tells me she was trying to come to some remedy concerning the problems she was facing, but most likely got frustrated with the only choices presenting themselves..neither one of them probably seeming feasible.

I personally can't judge CA for her role in this...KC was an adult who chose to do whatever she did to her daughter and I don't see Cindy for the monster she's often made out to be, but instead a very frustrated mother trying to figure out how to get her grown, adult daughter to take responsibility for her life and that of her child. JMO.

What about getting Casey out on bond and further enabling here at that juncture? The A's did not HAVE to get her out on bond, but they did.

 

[OneLostGrl]

Just for a minute, let's put ourselves in Cindy's shoes.

If she kicked KC out, what would happen to Caylee? As a grandparent, how could she kick her daughter out with no place to go and likely to take her granddaughter as well? How could she do that? Realistically? Could you? I know I couldn't, not with a small child involved.

Cindy was in desperate financial shape...none of which seems to be her doing. With little to go against KC, how would she gain custody of Caylee? How could she have afforded what would probably amount to thousands of dollars in legal fees in a fight where she probably had very little to no chance of winning? If she did go the legal route and press charges for KC's thefts from family, how would KC ever get a job with a record for theft? I think she was stuck between a rock and a hard spot.

The fact that she was attending counseling tells me she was trying to come to some remedy concerning the problems she was facing, but most likely got frustrated with the only choices presenting themselves..neither one of them probably seeming feasible.

I personally can't judge CA for her role in this...KC was an adult who chose to do whatever she did to her daughter and I don't see Cindy for the monster she's often made out to be, but instead a very frustrated mother trying to figure out how to get her grown, adult daughter to take responsibility for her life and that of her child. JMO.

I don't consider enabling, excusing and covering up of criminal behaviors to be the same thing as trying to find a way to get her daughter to take responsibility for her life and the life of her child. Sorry.

And I would never be in Cindy's shoes because my son knows that I mean it when I tell him he is going to be held accountable for every one of his actions. I was raised by a Cindy I won't do that to my child, ever... I am preparing him for the wolrd, to be a productive and respectable member of society... if that doesn't happen, I know I did nothing wrong.. Cindy can't say the same.

None of Cindy's $ mess was her own fault? I don't know, to me, anyone who can stay with a man who steals money from his family is at least partly at fault for the loss of money when it happens again.

 

[OneLostGrl]

What about getting Casey out on bond and further enabling here at that juncture? The A's did not HAVE to get her out on bond, but they did.

And Caylee is dead.. what are they protecting Casey from now? Cindy told her she doesn't have to work when she "comes home" from jail. Nope sorry, I cannot picture myself in those shoes, ever.

 

[Ripley007]

My guess why people are harder on Cindy than George:

Cindy's more "in your face" whereas George is in the background.
Cindy appears to be more controlling than George.
George appears "softer" than Cindy emotionally.

A whipped man is never a pretty sight. Course, neither is a whipped woman. If this couple protrayed themselves as "equals", we wouldn't be feeling sorry for either one of them. Our sympathies would lie with Caylee and Caylee alone...

 

[Disguiseduser0308]

I think Cindy is protecting KC because she's done so her entire life. She doesn't know any other way. While I don't understand the dynamics of their family, I see them feed off one another in a way I have never seen before. Cindy needs to protect KC. KC feeds Cindy's need to be needed.

 

[songline]

I think Cindy is protecting KC because she's done so her entire life. She doesn't know any other way. While I don't understand the dynamics of their family, I see them feed off one another in a way I have never seen before. Cindy needs to protect KC. KC feeds Cindy's need to be needed.

I think CA Finlay realizes that there is a mental issue.
She knows that Casey will never be in position to get a job.
I do not understand CAs unwillingness to help find Caylee.
I realize one was dead and she could not bring her back.
I realize one is still alive and she wants to save the one that is living.
I realize she is in a position between a rock and a wall...
But some of the decisions in behalf of the baby are hard to swallow.

 

[Chezhire]

Well, since the poll allows us to choose more than one option, should we like to, I wish there were another category that said "one or more of the above and an option not listed herein," so I could choose that.
I think Cindy doesn't want to see her daughter spend her life in prison, and the "other, unlisted reason" that I'd choose if it were listed is that it's because Cindy wants another chance at a relationship with Casey.

 

[kageykaren]

One of the things that stood out to me was that CA only went to her therapist once. This tells me from the counseling conversation we have heard about that she didn't want counseling for herself and how to deal with her situation with kC but rather for affirmation of her frustration and anger. Since depression is frustration and anger I'm sure her counselor wanted to see CA a second time or more because there are never easy answers to lifes problems. Hmmm, why did CA not go back at that time? Something tells me that if questions were proposed to her concerning her true authentic feelings to address her placement within the family and address the issues in the family, that this would cause CA not to return to therapy.

 

[txsvicki]

I chose other, that the family doesn't want Casey to spend her life in general population of the jail, but do want rid of her. They have to know by now what happened and may feel a little guilt because while George was frittering away thousands of dollars and Cindy was out having to work her rear off they didn't realize that their daughter was nuttier than a fruitcake. Cindy has been conned, mentally abused, and manipulated for so long that she seems to not be able to face the hard cold truth that some people in this world are lying users who want everyone to see them as smart, but also as a victim.

 

[MySonsMom]

that sums it up - a mother's unconditional love for their child. You know they are sick, you know they did terrible things, but you have to continue to believe that if you love them enough and stick by them, you can change them. She has created another "casey" that killed Caylee, this is not the Casey she is fighting for - my opinion only

 

[gitana1]

I think guilt is a factor, but mostly I think it's about control. IMO Cindy believes that she alone is in charge of punishing KC -- it's not anyone else's business.

I agree but will add denial to guilt and control. CA cannot afford to have her family perceived as wrongdoers. Image is so important to her. She also feels guilt because she did not allow casey to do what she wanted while CA cared for the baby. I think she did use babysitting privileges as a means to control and punish casey and probably feels guilt about that now. I also think the horror of what actually happened is more than she can bear or accept. Denial is essential to allowing her to believe the lie. I need a new category that combines a few of the options!