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Hi there,
It definitely seems that her personal experience has had a profound effect on how she views this case. Abuse does change women. And to some extent, I think many of us take our own life experiences, whatever they may be, and apply them to the cases we discuss. I know Lulu from some other cases and she's not an insensitive person, although I understand how her insinuation of Jodi suffering abuse would upset people. I don't agree with her views on that. These topics are ultra-sensitive and understandably, people are passionate about them. But I also believe we can discuss them from different sides of the fence as long as the commentary remains respectful.
I just posted my response to her on my blog and figured I'd share it here. There may be a few things in my post that people don't agree with, and then again, some will. Jodi is the worst of humanity, basically a violent animal that should never see the light of day. I can't state it any simpler than that. But I also think it's ok to look at the entire situation surrounding this case including Travis, religion, pyramid schemes, family issues, etc etc... for the purpose of learning. What happened with both of them was pretty messed up and perhaps there's a cautionary tale there. To some extent, I do agree that what happened in Mesa was the perfect storm. Here is my response so you can understand what I mean:
I appreciate your thoughts. Theyre not the popular ones out in the public, but I appreciate you being brave enough to say them. There are some items I agree with and some I dont. I do believe that Travis had some issues of his own that were not resolved. I think it goes a little beyond him just being a single guy who was a player. The bigger issue was that he was living a lie preaching to groups of people and pretending to be living a Mormon life and he wasnt. Nobodys perfect, hey, we all do things we know we shouldnt. But theres a difference when you are preaching to a group of people and expecting them to live a life that you are lying about.
With that said I do not believe that he abused her at all. He was pretty darn clear that he wasnt going to marry her and she kept pursuing him. She wanted sex with him so bad whichever way she could get it. He didnt make her do anything she didnt want to. She even moved to AZ after they broke up even though he told her not to. His mistake was that he continued to sleep with her. You wave sex in front of a single man and most of them are going to take it. So I get that and cut some slack. But when he found out she was hacking his accounts, stalking him & his girlfriends, slashing tires, etc
he was crazy to continue to sleep with her. Thats just simply unexplainable, and seems to show his deeper seeded issues.
At the end of the day Jodi is one insane, evil, beyond-repair criminal. I have no sympathy for her. Whatever she gets, she deserves. Was Travis responsible for his death? No, absolutely not. Did Travis make some very unfortunate, foolish mistakes that played a part in the grand scheme of what happened to him? Yes. Let me be clear. That does not mean he caused his death. I just wish he made different choices. We can learn from this.
The thing that's hard about discussing this case with many people is that emotions are exceptionally high and people tend to be radically on either side of the fence. Myself, and Nick, believe that you can have a civil conversation about all of it without being a supporter, hater, troll.. and whatever else some may call you. I have been called a hater and a supporter online, which is outlandish. Nothing could be further from the truth. Interrogating people and the decisions they make is important in life. It helps us to understand humanity and be better people. Again, thanks for being honest and brave about how you feel. I disagree about LaViolette and about the abuse, but respect that you have a different opinion. Chat soon.
Thank you for replying.
Yes, we will have to agree to disagree but we can have respectful opposing opinions.
And this is mine on the subject.
I don't find Travis any different from females who have endured their own domestic violence abuser... except males are the least likely to report being a victim of domestic abuse.
I did many things.. that I am sure if people had known about them... would have questioned my sanity and reasoning in my 10 year abusive relationship with my ex-husband who came very close to killing me. Did I do unexplainable things? I suppose so to those who have never had to endure the situation I was living at the time. I did everything in my power to appease him in any way I could think of doing so.
Even after I separated from him and he stalked me for 10.5 months, I had sex with him, every time he demanded it...... even though inwardly it tied me up in a knot of anxiety and repulsion. I felt rightly or wrongly ...if I got him to stay calm and gave into his demands then I was safe and would not lose my life by him acting out violently. When I tried to stand tall against him at times is when he would either beat me unmercifully or he would put a .44 Magnum to my head and make me beg for my life, which I did.
Even the thought of me dating someone else (which I hadn't) threw him into an obsessive jealous rage. Finally he took it too far and almost beat me to death putting me in ICU for three weeks. It was at that time it was finally out of my hands altogether and in the hands of the police for once. I never dared call the police on him, not for the stalking, not for vandalizing my vehicle, and not for the other times he had beat me. But this time my best friend found me lying in the floor unconscious. All I wanted was peace and to be able to be a good mother to our children. He, being the great manipulator himself, never hurt me in front of the kids. It wasn't until I was in the hospital they finally knew the truth. After then was the turning point in my life and I got my divorce three months later. Two years later I met the most caring loving man imaginable who would become my husband and with his total love and support it has healed all old wounds.
I do not carry around old tired old baggage of yesterday that would only weigh me down. Eventually, years later, when my ex begged for forgiveness, I forgave him, and have never had one regret that I did. I knew my life was not about the past but about the present and future that held many blessings for me beyond words.
I also do not automatically believe a murderer because they claim they have been abused. I look for evidence and there is none in this case whatsoever. Suffering from childhood abuse as well as adult abuse it has never left me close minded.
So to me, Travis, like most all victims of domestic violence, learned to appease, and stroke the beast he had come to fear. He had already seen what happened when she acted out of rage. I will not blame him in any way for what his victimizer did nor how he chose to try and deal with her.
He said he feared her and he did and we know he had every right in the world to fear her. The only difference in this case is the victim is named Travis......instead of Tammy.
Just because he was a male victim and she was female abuser made her no less deadly. Imo, his fear was no less than any other domestic violence victim and his actions were the same mistakes that so many other victims (men and women) have made and will make in the future.
He, like so many others, thought he could handle it on his own. After all he was a male and men are expected to react differently when a female goes off the rails because of a relationship. One day I hope that people will come to know that men are just as uncertain about what to do in their violent situation as females who face their own hell.
As far as ALV my opinion has not changed. Imo, she was one of the most disgusting witnesses in the last trial. Geff and MF is enough this time and I am glad they did not call back ALV along with all of her biases.
. Is it sad that an innocent two word reference like "spun around" is immediately recognized by us as past testimony/lies?
