Having lost my husband in an automobile accident in 1992, the father of my then almost 4 year old daughter, unfortunately I have some expertise in this area.
They don't have to grow up with the issues being a negative force for them. I managed to raise my daughter, I give all the Glory to God, (I wasn't even walking with him close at the time, but was a blind blind believer).
She and I could have experienced alot of problems, especially when you have outsiders (that includes meaning well family members who do damage) interjecting their mis-informed thoughts and views as only they know on the premise of being helpful, because basically they can't handle or know what to do with the issues. It caused me alot of grief, had they just left me alone and let me deal with it, but oh well, I'm over that hurdle.
Children have such a forgiving resilient spirit, only til this world re-shapes and molds them do they change into problematic people with problem filled lives having let the world shape who they are when they could of had Divine protection from the forces we really battle with, which is not of this world but of principalities, prince of the air and darkness, etc...
The death of a parent is an ever lasting tragedy, but it doesn't have to end up being a train wreck. I still battle with some rebellion from Haylee due to this very thing, in my opinion. Only now do I know the Lord had his hand on Haylee and I the whole time, never once forsaking us, even when I was soooooooo blind and hurt. My pain and suffering could have been reduced by mountains had I known him more intimantly, but he has quickened my healing and understanding, and gave me back the wasted time I spent in the dark abyss of this tragedy. Only God can give you back and restore time.
I use to believe I would never really know the woman Haylee would have grown up to be had her father lived, but now I know to ask God to shape her into her purpose according to his will, which basically undoes what this world and circumstances have caused.
I really have to go to work, so this will be a brief visit.
I want to start by saying, I am very sorry for your loss.
I also know that having faith through hard times in your life is very helpful.
Every hardship helps shape who we are. I am sure Haylee is a wonderful young woman. Her mom has raised her with love. You can't go wrong with that.