School Parents Want 1st Grader W/ Peanut Allergy Sent Home/Home-Schooled

[peeples]

I have children in 2 different elementary schools and they have been enrolled in 3 different preschools. All of them celebrate birthdays. I bring in homemade cupcakes and the kids hand out goody bags to their classmates. I also provide juice and cups, plates and plastic silverware. All other parents at the schools do the same on their childs birthday. The birthday children in elementary school also get special privledges (being the person who stands first in line, gets to pass out snack (what they brought from home), gets to go retrieve snack milk from the lunch room, bean bag chair to sit in for independent reading etc) and a small gift like a book from their teacher. The loss of the parties and special recognition would be huge for our local children including mine. The party takes no extra time above and beyond the 10 minute designated snack time that the children have everyday.

It is quite possible that birthdays were no big deal in this school to begin with though.

 

[Truthwillsetufree]

By reading this thread, I can say for myself that I need more education on this deadly allergy. The school seems to be wavering (rinse your mouth out, don't rinse your mouth out). If they are going to advocate for this child, they need to be educated as well.

Is the goal to set fear and panic into the children who attend school with the student? While I don't believe that was the intention, it certainly going down this path.

I can honestly say I don't know what the answer is. I know what I'd personally do in this situation, but others would disagree. If a single peanut could kill my child, then I'd keep him at home and he could attend his lessons via video conference. Yes, I know this isn't the ideal situation for any child. But the question is - would I want him to be alive or dead.MOOOOO

Mel

I agree with you 100 percent! There is no way in hello that I would have put my children's life in the hands of the school system.

 

[WhyaDuck?]

I have children in 2 different elementary schools and they have been enrolled in 3 different preschools. All of them celebrate birthdays. I bring in homemade cupcakes and the kids hand out goody bags to their classmates. I also provide juice and cups, plates and plastic silverware. All other parents at the schools do the same on their childs birthday. The birthday children in elementary school also get special privledges (being the person who stands first in line, gets to pass out snack (what they brought from home), gets to go retrieve snack milk from the lunch room, bean bag chair to sit in for independent reading etc) and a small gift like a book from their teacher. The loss of the parties and special recognition would be huge for our local children including mine. The party takes no extra time above and beyond the 10 minute designated snack time that the children have everyday.

It is quite possible that birthdays were no big deal in this school to begin with though.

At my son's school, homemade foods for everyone are verboten, so they can have their parties, just with peanut-free, store-bought things. And I don't even think there are any kids with peanut allergies in his daycare, actually. I think that may just be how all schools are here.

 

[JBean]

Is celebrating everyone's birthday a new thing? I certainly don't remember my birthday being a big deal in my first grade classroom. I think we sang "happy birthday" to anyone celebrating during morning announcements, and that was it. My teacher might have given me some stickers or a pencil, IIRC.

FWIW, my son's daycare does celebrate every kid's birthday at lunch, and for my son's birthday, I was asked to contribute a couple packages of clearly labelled peanut free store-bought cookies. It really wasn't all that much of a hassle, as far as I could see - the store had a wide selection, and they were the same price as non-labelled cookies.

I don't see the big deal of not celebrating or in having accommodating birthdays; I've seen both work fine.

Shoot, all they have to do is have each child make a nice card with a warm or funny sentiment and all sing Happy Birthday. Not everything has to be celebrated with food.
This whole thing gets more nonsencial by the minute. I am drawn to it like a train wreck. These parents are essentially bullying this girl out of the school.

 

[Linda7NJ]

We don't tell people in wheelchairs to get their books online, we build ramps up to the library door. This is America.

That does not mean I believe the restaurant is to blame for this.

The child in the wheel chair's life isn't endangered every stinking day by other children that may or may not have washed their hands well enough after eating a peanut!

 

[Nova]

Ever see that episode of Seinfeld where everyone in the office was addicted to the birthday/get well/bon voyage cake breaks? Perhaps they want to prepare their children for cubicle life.

In all seriousness, I have always been uncomfortable with school/dept parties, being kosher - I always felt excluded and awkward about having to turn down a million homemade goodies without looking like a snob.

I guess there's no way to ask that non-Jews prepare kosher snacks; we wouldn't have the right dishes.

What is with all this emphasis on eating in school anyway? Is it that young children can't go very long without food?

 

[Linda7NJ]

I agree with you 100 percent! There is no way in hello that I would have put my children's life in the hands of the school system.

My child attended public school, for a grand total of 3 months! I didn't trust them with my own "non allergic" child! I didn't trust them to educate my kid, I certainly wouldn't put his very life in their hands, nor the hands of another 6 year old.

Yes, the atheist put her son in a christian school:crazy:

 

[peeples]

My oldest son also has a very special needs child in his classroom. She cannot communicate, has a feeding tube, but she cannot eat, but she LOVES to taste! (She also has a mother who is her aide in everything and brings her to school everyday and helps her learn and interact as much as she can). She has a gluten sensitivity and when it was my son's birthday, I completely did an overhaul on my kitchen, sanitized everything I needed to use to cook with, along with purchasing special bean flours and made a small batch of 6 gluten free cupcakes for her.
If there was a peanut allergic child, I would do the same for them.
I'm not against this peanut allergic child being in school at all, but I do think her parents need to be responsible for her until she's old enough to be responsible for herself. Not everyone else.

MOO and all that

 

[WhyaDuck?]

I guess there's no way to ask that non-Jews prepare kosher snacks; we wouldn't have the right dishes.

What is with all this emphasis on eating in school anyway? Is it that young children can't go very long without food?

I don't know - appeal to community, hunching around the fire, etc. Eating together is a primitive bonding thing. Plus, it breaks up the day for small kids, I guess. But, to me, it's always been a touchy thing, because it's just not possible for me; eating is a political act, with many ramifications. Yet, places do insist on marking every blasted occasion with food. :sigh:

ETA: Sorry, now I'm really getting OT - just venting some of that long-held frustration while I have the chance.

 

[Nova]

Despite what I posted above, it occurs to me that ALL human festivities throughout history have involved food in some way. Every holiday we celebrate (whatever our ethnic tradition) has certain foods associated with the event.

So maybe food is important to celebrating birthdays. But it doesn't have to be homemade food and it doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate.

ETA WhyaDuck? and I posted similar thoughts at the same time. She said it better.

 

[JBean]

Despite what I posted above, it occurs to me that ALL human festivities throughout history have involved food in some way. Every holiday we celebrate (whatever our ethnic tradition) has certain foods associated with the event.

So maybe food is important to celebrating birthdays. But it doesn't have to be homemade food and it doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate.

when my kids were young, they just asked us to stay away from bringing sugar because it just wasted the rest of the class day as so many of the kids were harder to manage after a sugar injection.

 

[Nova]

I don't know - appeal to community, hunching around the fire, etc. Eating together is a primitive bonding thing. Plus, it breaks up the day for small kids, I guess. But, to me, it's always been a touchy thing, because it's just not possible for me; eating is a political act, with many ramifications. Yet, places do insist on marking every blasted occasion with food. :sigh:

ETA: Sorry, now I'm really getting OT - just venting some of that long-held frustration while I have the chance.

These issues don't pertain just to elementary school. I worked at a law firm where each person's birthday was celebrated with a cake. Every third or fourth birthday, I made a special trip to a kosher bakery so that the one person in the office who kept kosher could eat cake with us. (I asked why we didn't just go all-kosher and was told that kosher bakeries are considerably more expensive. Who knew?)

 

[WhyaDuck?]

when my kids were young, they just asked us to stay away from bringing sugar because it just wasted the rest of the class day as so many of the kids were harder to manage after a sugar injection.

Yes, I asked about that for my son's b'day, asking if they would rather have strawberries or something, but they said cookies are fine - less messy and always popular.

I think they deserve medals for willingly giving 20 3yos sugar and not hanging themselves.

 

[peeples]

I'd be bummed to bring store bought stuff instead of the cupcakes the kids help me make, but I'd do it. It just seems that the school wants to abolish birthday celebrations all together (I could be wrong, please correct me if I am)

 

[WhyaDuck?]

I'd be bummed to bring store bought stuff instead of the cupcakes the kids help me make, but I'd do it. It just seems that the school wants to abolish birthday celebrations all together (I could be wrong, please correct me if I am)

I may be overly neurotic, but I actually am happy they don't do homemade stuff here. I remember a few friends chomping on big ol dog hairs and such in homemade cupcakes as kids. (No slight on home-bakers, but it's just a bit more on the certain side if it's store-bought, KWIM?)

Mr Christie - you make good (sterile, health inspected) cookies.

 

[southcitymom]

My child attended public school, for a grand total of 3 months! I didn't trust them with my own "non allergic" child! I didn't trust them to educate my kid, I certainly wouldn't put his very life in their hands, nor the hands of another 6 year old.

Yes, the atheist put her son in a christian school:crazy:

LOL - just one of many reasons I adore you!

 

[Steely Dan]

In my grandkids' district (small town in northern Mass.), the parent of each kid is responsible for making cupcakes on the kid's birthday. Each year, a list of guidelines--including no nuts or nut oils--is sent out at the beginning of the year. To my knowledge, this policy has been in effect for years without incident.

But I agree: a school celebration of your birthday is not a divine right. If it can't be done safely for everyone, then let it go.

My birthday is June 25th and I never got to celebrate at school! :maddening:

However, my mother never complained about other kids celebrating birthdays at school.

 

[belimom]

I just asked my husband what he thought of this, and he said that it's actually a good idea for kids to wash their hands and wipe their faces anyway so the parents should just stop whining. Just thought I'd share.

 

[peeples]

My birthday is June 25th and I never got to celebrate at school! :maddening:

However, my mother never complained about other kids celebrating birthdays at school.

For the summer kids around here the classrooms do 1 of 2 things.. either they do a half birthday, or they take the last month or 2 of school and each summer child gets to pick a day to celebrate on

 

[peeples]

I just asked my husband what he thought of this, and he said that it's actually a good idea for kids to wash their hands and wipe their faces anyway so the parents should just stop whining. Just thought I'd share.

NO disagreement from me there. But clorox wipes weren't meant for faces. That is what would have me angry as a wet hen.