School Parents Want 1st Grader W/ Peanut Allergy Sent Home/Home-Schooled

[Trident]

There is a little girl that joined my son's class (Head Start) mid-year. She has a severe peanut allergy, and a note was sent home not to allow peanut products to come into the school. Her allergy is only to ingestion, so as long as it's not edible, the school doesn't have a problem with it.
Obviously, there are no foods with peanuts or peanut oils served in class, and any parent that sends in peanut foods will have their child removed from class pending a meeting (seriously).
For comparison, my son has a severe intolerace to grape juice. It literally goes right through him, to the point where he often has to be hospitalized for dehydration if he drinks it. He has been in the hospital three times this year because the school will not stop serving grape juice and they don't supervise well enough to keep him from drinking other kids grape juice. There are no special precautions in place for his health, and his condition is as life threatening as the child with the peanut allergy.

Here's what I'm getting at. The school knows that grape juice can kill my son. The school of the child in this story knows that peanuts can kill this child. Yet, there are no special precautions in place to help my son. We simply have to trust that he will not be exposed. SO far, they have failed miserably. Yet, I make the choice to still send my son and seek medical treatment when necessary, so that he will be prepared to stay away from the product on his own when he gets older. If it were an allergy that would immediately threaten his life, such as an allergy to peanuts that required hand and mouth washing of every person around him, I would remove him from school. Because his disability is too severe for him to be safe in the school environment. And if the other little girls disability were so severe that he would have to take these precautions, I would request a transfer of classes. Because I would not allow my five year old to feel that he had killed someone over a simple mistake.

Excellent post. Obviously you are a parent who knows the pitfalls, has weighed the pros and cons, and made a conscious decision to take parental responsibility for your child. I applaud you, and know it must, at times, be very hard. I also applaud the fact that you are taking responsibility for your child and the consequences which, I do not feel, the parents in this peanuts case are doing.

I'm sorry, but the parents allowing a child with that severe an allergy to attend a regular school is dangerous to that child's health, and to the mental health of the other students at the school. Would they send a hemophiliac child to regular school, or a child that had a fatal alllergy to cleaning products? No. Because it wouldn't be possible to adequately protect that child. Special needs children often require around the clock care. The allergic child is one of those cases and it is up to her PARENTS to provide it. Not the school and a all of the other kids that attend that school. JMO.

I applaud you for taking informed responsibility for your child's health, and not insisting that everyone else do so. I'm not sure the parents in this peanut allergy scenario are doing the same thing - seems to me they expect everyone else to watch out for their child while they insist on the rights they think they have.

 

[pghbrandi]

I think there's a difference in the situations. There's a thin line between life or death in the peanut situation.

I know there is a difference in situations. I was just listing an example for arguments sake. I don't think it's right to tell your child they are not normal.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Linda, I am not attacking you or your post so if it comes off that way, I apologize.
Now what if every parent who had a handicapped child decided to tell their child they are NOT normal? That would be just sad. Look at that wrestler with one leg who just won the championship. What if his parents restricted him and told him he was NOT normal? He would've just hid away and felt sorry for himself.
I understand it is risky for her to go to school, but I don't really think what these "normal" kids go through daily is that bad. It's not like they are being scrubbed down before entering the class room. They are washing their hands and rinsing their mouths. (Very good hygiene practices anyway)

Heck no, I didn't think you were attacking me! No apology necessary.

I think it more important a child is made aware of who they are, embrace their differences and learn to accept their shortcomings & encouraged to be the very best that they can be.

 

[Trident]

Heck no, I didn't think you were attacking me! No apology necessary.

I think it more important a child is made aware of who they are, embrace their differences and learn to accept their shortcomings & encouraged to be the very best that they can be.

Exactly, excellent post. My granddaughter, 7 years old, has type 1 diabetes. She understands what she has to do, how she differs from other children. That is the goal, be all YOU can be.

Thank you again for good, common sense.

 

[WhyaDuck?]

I know there is a difference in situations. I was just listing an example for arguments sake. I don't think it's right to tell your child they are not normal.

Perhaps it is a problem with the term "normal"? "Not normal" does have a ring of stigmatizing to it; even "different" has troubles.

I agree that that the word is a problem, but I have nothing against kids knowing how they are not like other kids, especially when it comes to life or death - as long as it is delivered in a non-harmful way.

But, then again, I've always thought "normal" (whatever that is, exactly) is slightly overrated. :crazy:

 

[pghbrandi]

Perhaps it is a problem with the term "normal"? "Not normal" does have a ring of stigmatizing to it; even "different" has troubles.

I agree that that the word is a problem, but I have nothing against kids knowing how they are not like other kids, especially when it comes to life or death - as long as it is delivered in a non-harmful way.

But, then again, I've always thought "normal" (whatever that is, exactly) is slightly overrated. :crazy:

I think maybe that is what it is for me. The word "normal". (Which, I am very far from!hahaha)
I think it's up to the parents. Maybe they can't home school this girl. Maybe they both work and don't have the time. If they keep her home all of the time, I think that would mess her up when she ages. Just my opinion.
I understand what everyone else is getting at though. It is dangerous for her. I just don't see how it is that big of an inconvenience for these other kids. Maybe it's just me.

 

[Paintr]

I think maybe that is what it is for me. The word "normal". (Which, I am very far from!hahaha)
I think it's up to the parents. Maybe they can't home school this girl. Maybe they both work and don't have the time. If they keep her home all of the time, I think that would mess her up when she ages. Just my opinion.
I understand what everyone else is getting at though. It is dangerous for her. I just don't see how it is that big of an inconvenience for these other kids. Maybe it's just me.

Respectfully colour added by me...

With reactions this severe, it is not just an inconvenience for the other kids. I have been in this situation. I teach in a facility where we had (a few years ago) a child with such a peanut allergy.

At my work, children attended during the day. Adults used the same classrooms in the evening. It was very stressful for everyone. The adults had children/grandchildren of their own and it was almost impossible for them to police their homes, children, children's friends to keep peanuts away. It affected the homelife of everyone involved. Meals were changed. Laundry methods were changed. Even some work routines for these adults had to change. They were all nervous wrecks worrying that they would somehow cause this child harm. Some even quit attending class because it was too difficult to handle.

Just how much is everyone required to change their lives to accommodate one child who unfortunately was born with a severe allergy?

I sympathize with this child and her parents but I do know how much this goes above and beyond just an inconvenience to the kids.

I am not picking on you pghbrandie, just using your comment to offer some info.

 

[jjenny]

I agree, in my opinion it is more than just an inconvenience. If I had to be around someone with such a severe allergy I'd feel like I am walking on egg shells, because obviously we come in contact with peanuts on a daily basis. And if it is an issue of accommodating someone with a disability, wouldn't the stores, malls, movie theaters, etc, have to do it as well? After all, people with disabilities have rights, and not just in school. What if the child wants to go to a movie? Should the movie theater be turned into a peanut free zone? A supermarket? A zoo? Etc, etc, etc...

 

[pghbrandi]

I guess I think the way I do because I have never experienced the allergy with kids like you have (Paintr) or others here, and I think I would not mind having my kids do this to help another kid be able to come to school. I do admit, it would be terribly stressful to have that child's life basically in your hands.
I have only had to deal with minor peanut allergies in my kids schools. Nothing like this so I can't say for sure how I would feel.

ETA Painr, I didn't think you were picking on me. Thanks for the info!!

 

[eileenhawkeye]

I don't think there's a problem with schools making rules about what happens within their walls, but when it starts to affect life outside the school, that's what it gets to be too much.

 

[cluciano63]

A child spends most of his or her waking hours at school, so if this child has an attack and dies, what if it happens at school? Will the school be blamed? Will there be a huge investigation to figure out which child is the "culprit" who "caused" the death of this child? That is scary to me and should be ever scarier to her parents. If I was a parent of a classmate, I would be freaking about that, not about the kids washing and gargling.

As far as "normal"- she is not abnormal, but her health situation is. I don't believe she can be properly protected in an open environment such as a public school.

 

[not_my_kids]

As far as providing the little girl a feeling of normalcy by allowing her to attend regular school (even with precautions in place) the problem is that it's not even "that" normal.

How can they let her go out on the playground when other children may have visited it outside of school hours that don't follow the rules?

How can they let her go on field trips to places that don't follow the rules?

How can they let her be on a school bus, especially if it is a district that uses one bus for more than one route?

How can they let her accept Valentines, in case someone in the store handled the box after handling peanuts?

How do they recieve deliveries at the school?

Even within the school it isn't a normal life for her, it doesn't resemble normal. She will be ostracized and teased unmercilessly, even if she isn't already, because kids pick on those with differences (I'm sorry, but it's true) and even though her differences don't show on the outside, they will become glaringly apparent within the first week or so of any class. Once again MOO.

 

[Paintr]

I guess I think the way I do because I have never experienced the allergy with kids like you have (Paintr) or others here, and I think I would not mind having my kids do this to help another kid be able to come to school. I do admit, it would be terribly stressful to have that child's life basically in your hands.
I have only had to deal with minor peanut allergies in my kids schools. Nothing like this so I can't say for sure how I would feel.

ETA Painr, I didn't think you were picking on me. Thanks for the info!!

I'm glad I didn't offend anyone. As a teacher, I was paranoid and felt so responsible. My adult classes became obsessive about washing their hands, washing off surfaces and questioning each other about when and where they/their children/acquaintences/workmates might have touched/eaten/looked at peanuts. Classes became a source of worry rather than learning. I have no idea how the children who attended during the day handled it.

Seriously tho, you just can't imagine just how far reaching this child's presence was. The parents became concerned when he touched a seemingly clean cupboard and somehow picked up a trace of peanut and ended up in hospital despite the use of an Epi-pen. They withdrew him from classes. I felt guilty because I felt so relieved.

 

[keeponsearching]

If my child had a reaction from just being next to someone who ate peanut butter that morning before school, my child wouldn't be in school. Washing hands in school, thats awesome!! Imagine less germs lurking the halls. Peanut free school, sure why not, I was shocked to see my school was not... Washing the mouth out??? That seems to be a stretch, but habits can be made. I wouldn't want any child to be left out. But I sure as heck would not be ok at work all day wondering if the person who delivered the milks or mail, or paper, just ate a p&J sandwich and is roaming the halls where my child attends school. Of course precautions can be made, by why? How do people with peanut allergies like this even go out, to the mall, movies? Just one more, one more thing in life that is not fair. Oh and I am talking about the ones suffering allergies that could kill them.

 

[NancyA]

I'm sorry, but the parents allowing a child with that severe an allergy to attend a regular school is dangerous to that child's health, and to the mental health of the other students at the school. Would they send a hemophiliac child to regular school, or a child that had a fatal alllergy to cleaning products? No. Because it wouldn't be possible to adequately protect that child. Special needs children often require around the clock care. The allergic child is one of those cases and it is up to her PARENTS to provide it. Not the school and a all of the other kids that attend that school. JMO.

Respectfully snipped and BBM. Have to say I more or less totally agree with your entire post but, just to clear up a common misconception, there are varying degrees of ‘severity’ in haemophilia as there are in many other congenital conditions. The majority of haemophiliacs can be and are mainstream schooled with very little increased risk to either themselves or inconvenience to the schools beyond a heightened awareness that there may be a need to seek further medical attention for haemophiliacs after applying the same basic first aid they would to any other person with a 'bleed' : keep patient calm and still, immobilize and raise affected limb, apply ice, pressure etc. Only in very rare cases is the condition so severe as to warrant home or special needs schooling.

I did send both my haemophiliac sons to mainstream public schools in the UK since neither of them was at any more risk of being injured while in school than any of their classmates, and, as long as I or another emergency contact was called immediately in the event of a more than minor playground bump or scrape, there was never a problem. My sons were fully aware that they had ‘special’ blood from being very young and that IF they injured themselves they had take somewhat greater care than their peers to get proper attention for it right away. Beyond that there were a few restrictions regarding playing certain sports at high school level, ie those involving heavy physical contact such as rugby, but otherwise they could run, jump, climb, play just like their friends and did not need to be wrapped in cottonwool or otherwise be treated like they were made of glass.

Fact is, parents and schools have to decide on an individual case basis if a particular school environment is SAFE enough for the needs of a particular child. IMO in this particular case, hard though it is for that child’s parents to accept and I absolutely sympathise with them and their child, it is IMO totally unrealistic of them to hold the school and the child’s classmates responsible for her welfare in the face of such a severe allergy.

 

[Mr. E]

The parents can pull their kid out of school and keep her locked up and safe from peanut exposure, but to what end? We are here on earth to live our lives. Like I said earlier, my niece has an extreme peanut allergy. She was homeschooled for other reasons through elementary school, but began public school in 6th grade. She was always active in sports, drama, and other afterschool activities. She had her medical bracelet and her epi-pen with her, but it was important to both her and her parents that she live an active, social life.

The National Peanut Board says that 150 people die per year of food-related allergies per year, not just peanut-related allergies. I still think the washing hands and rinsing mouths is overboard, but the child should be allowed to attend school and be with kids her own age.

My niece is college-age now, and although I'd have to check with her to be sure, I think her allergy has lessened somewhat as she's grown older. I wonder, if her parents kept her locked under glass if she would have gained the same insensitivities to her allergy over the years.

 

[kgeaux]

Some of you may remember that I have a son (now an adult) who has a severe peanut allergy. His reaction to peanuts causes his body to go into anaphylactic shock. A deadly reaction. So, be informed ahead of time that I may be a little biased here!

Wow, "The AAAAI estimates that 4 million Americans have food allergies, with tree nuts and peanuts, which are legumes, the most common. About 150 people die in the United States each year from food allergies, half from peanuts."

Studies confirm treatment may help peanut allergy

http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/03/01/us-allergies-peanuts-s-idUSTRE62056B20100301

75 deaths a year from peanut allergies, 75 from ALL OTHER FOOD ALLERGIES. I think it is safe to say that peanut allergies are very serious. And that if we could somehow come up with a way to limit a person's exposure to peanuts, we could cut deaths from food allergies IN HALF.

That study referenced in your link is interesting. We have heard of it----and several others that have dealt with overcoming peanut allergies---it's a topic of interest at my house, as you can imagine!

Our doctors tell us that it is far too dangerous to apply these techniques to a person who has a deadly reaction. Test subjects are those who have much milder reactions, such as rashes or itching. We have been told that to even "test" my son's allergy (to see if he has outgrown it) by having a little pin-stick with a very diluted dose of peanut could result in death......and that is when the test is done in hospital.

ETA= I guess I am really resistant because my own child nearly killed this girl, and witnessed the traumatic experience, felt guilty and was given a hard time by the other kids for her innocent mistake.

That was one of the worst days in my kid's life. She was frightened to death, yelled at by the other frightened kids, and traumatized. If that child had died my kid's childhood would have been in tatters as well. imo.

Sweetie, I am glad the little girl did not die. I'm glad your little girl is now an adult! And I hope she has freed herself from any guilt about this situation, because she truly was never responsible at all.

What almost killed the allergic child was that a cookie which contained some sort of peanut ingredient was mis-identified as being peanut free.

I wish the adults who were in charge that day had handled the situation better, because to allow children to yell at your little girl and blame her was a huge no-no.

Epi pens are terrific. But they don't always work. Sometimes it takes much more than one shot, and sometimes even that doesn't work. Having a Epi pen doesn't mean the child is guarenteed to live through it.

I have some severe allergies, too, and I have an epi-pen kit, as does my son. One shot is immediately administered and the second follow-up dose comes a few minutes later.

Epi-pens are terrific, and in fact have saved our lives! But, just as a note of interest:

It is truly better to eliminate the source of exposure, because epi-pens may not work, as you have stated. They also may work to control the reaction, and cause a brain-bleed......they aren't without some truly horrid side effects. Thankfully, the severe side effects are RARE, but still, it is better to never allow a reaction to begin than it is to let it begin and believe the epi-pen is the panacea!


TO THE PARENTS OF THAT SCHOOL: Hope your kids stay healthy! Hope they never have to experience their airways shutting down, hope they never have to struggle to gain one tiny little breath!! And I hope and pray that they learn that no man is an island, and that as humans, we should look out for those among us who are weak.

 

[Nova]

...Disability act doesn't require the rest of the world to accommodate. They don't shut down highways so a single blind person can drive. YKWIM?

I support accommodating the disabled whenever possible, but that doesn't make Linda's analogy any less hysterical!

 

[Nova]

The parents can pull their kid out of school and keep her locked up and safe from peanut exposure, but to what end? We are here on earth to live our lives. Like I said earlier, my niece has an extreme peanut allergy. She was homeschooled for other reasons through elementary school, but began public school in 6th grade. She was always active in sports, drama, and other afterschool activities. She had her medical bracelet and her epi-pen with her, but it was important to both her and her parents that she live an active, social life.

The National Peanut Board says that 150 people die per year of food-related allergies per year, not just peanut-related allergies. I still think the washing hands and rinsing mouths is overboard, but the child should be allowed to attend school and be with kids her own age.

My niece is college-age now, and although I'd have to check with her to be sure, I think her allergy has lessened somewhat as she's grown older. I wonder, if her parents kept her locked under glass if she would have gained the same insensitivities to her allergy over the years.

Don't most peanut allergies decrease as individuals reach adulthood? Or is it just that by adulthood, kids are really good with their epi-pens?

I taught thousands of college kids over the years and never had a single case where we were asked to accommodate a peanut allergy. Of course, we did not have a lot of "cupcake days" in a college classroom, but kids carried all sorts of food with them, certainly including candy bars with nuts.

ETA just read kgeaux' post. Obviously some kids do not outgrow their peanut allergies, or it's just too dangerous to test them.

 

[peeples]

If you google other articles about this and read the comments you'll find out some very interesting things about this girl and her family. One of the things i found out while readin about this last week, is that the child frequently eats out at Applebees....
Sorry if i had a child with such life threatening allegies, no way I'd feed her food from ANY restaraunt. Seems like this family wants the world to bedn over backwards for this child and that is not the way the world works. Articles state that it takes approx 3-45 minutes a day to get kids hand washed and get their clothing and bags checked, mouths washed etc.. that is quite a bit of class time.
Last year in one of my twins first grade classrooms they went nut free because a child in the classrooms mother babysat a child with food allergies, a toddler cousin.. and she didn't want her child to touch mine or someone elses and bring trace into the home. I thought that was pretty extreme considering the child didn't even attend the school. SHE should have been responsible for making sure her child didn't bring traces home.. not the rest of the kids in the class. But whatever we went with the flow, however if it had cut into my childs learning time, no way. I would have thrown a fit.