Second-Grader Commits Suicide in New Jersey

[OneLostGrl]

Marthatex,
I posted my thoughts before I read your post but I had to edit mine and add that I agree with you completely.
I don't know if I buy a 7 year old having suicidal thoughts. His being upset about his grade/mark is understandable but suicide? Wonder if anyone else in the family has talked about suicide in front of him...had he watched a movie or tv show that showed someone hanging themselves?

Suicide is not a normal part of a 7 year olds life.

It can be

 

[missacorah]

My word, the poor little guy to be that upset.

My son is part of his schools gifted and talented programme and they are sometimes given work which is a couple of years ahead of them to complete. My son gets so upset when he struggles with those and I try to point out to him that that doesnt matter as he can do the work he is meant to be able to do with flying colours and has another 2 or so years before he is 'supposed' to be able to know the rest but i guess its also a problem if someone else in the group 'gets it' and they dont.

Truly heartbreaking this case.

 

[southcitymom]

Nope, me either. Like SCM's son, I had a child that was just naturally hard on herself. She would get so frustrated when she had to learn something. She expected herself to just know it.

A "B" on her report card would send her into depression. She's still, at 21 (22 next week), a bit of a perfectionist.

As someone whose first suicide attempt was at a young age, I hate to hear about things like this. While I understand the concept of wanting the pain to stop, it hurts my heart to think of a child feeling that way. Poor boy and his family.

I love you, Irish - I'm so glad you made it through your pain to be here today.

 

[bnhall]

Going through counselling has taught me this: when people constantly tell you how smart you are and how you can do anything, failure becomes a non-option. Realizing that it's not true and feeling like a disappointment when you find something you just can't do shakes you to the core. It seems like the most wonderful thing in the world to say - but it puts so much pressure on a kid. And I'm not blaming it on the parents...the school system puts pressure on smart kids too. If I slacked off for a second, my teachers would call my grandparents (whom I lived with) and tell them how I had to step up if I wanted to be Valedictorian. This was even in Elementary school.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

With "No Kid Left Behind" and so many other factors today...it is no wonder there is so much pressure applied at school to make the grade. We allow our children to be shoved by the school systems and the teachers in order for them to receive funding and accolades.

The amount of homework alone is ridiculous, imo. My daughter would spend 4-5 hours a night on homework after being at school for 7 hours. They say it prepares them for life.

Funny, I don't bring my work home with me. After a normal 8 hour day...it is over. What life are they preparing them for?! And why is this acceptable in elementary school?!

 

[csds703]

I have brought this up before on another thread but I find it's worth repeating here on this one..

Sadly, some people are just born not wanting to live. One doesn't even need a "reason" to be sad, they are just born empty, unhappy, sad and feeling out of place in the world.. Symptoms of this can begin very early in life and because that is how the child has always been, parents assume the child is shy or quiet or even just content being alone because their behavior is not out of the ordinary.

They don't need to hear about suicide from anyone and don't need to watch it on TV, they already know what it is and have thought about it often without anyone ever knowing! They keep it hidden yet in an easy to reach place because It's always been their safety net... their way outta this world they feel completely out of place in.

I was born one of these people and as sad as it is, and as much as I wish he would have went to someone for help, I understand how a 7 year old child could want to die.. I pray he finds the peace he was searching for.

Thank you for explaining this. I also had a hard time understanding how a child that young could be so unhappy.

To both you and Irish...

I AM GLAD YOU ARE BOTH STILL HERE WITH US.:blowkiss:

 

[southcitymom]

......I was born one of these people and as sad as it is, and as much as I wish he would have went to someone for help, I understand how a 7 year old child could want to die.. I pray he finds the peace he was searching for.

My love to you, OLG. :blowkiss:

 

[Beyond Belief]

This is so sad.

In regard to the gifted program. My daughter went thru from the fourth to the 8th grade. It was a wonderful experience for both of us. As one of her projects she taught the class how to do their taxes. The short form of course, this was fifth grade. The kids understood it and filled out the forms. It was very successful.

 

[Taximom]

It's also possible suicide has happened before in his family, bringing an earlier awareness of it to someone his age.

RIP, little guy.

 

[Mysticchic]

Poor child! I'm just wondering how he would even know how to hang himself!

 

[IrishMist]

Thank you for explaining this. I also had a hard time understanding how a child that young could be so unhappy.

To both you and Irish...

I AM GLAD YOU ARE BOTH STILL HERE WITH US.:blowkiss:

Thank you to you both. I think (hope) you both realize how much you mean to me, and how much I value your opinions. :blowkiss:

OLG, thank you for posting so eloquently. For posting so clearly what can be so difficult to understand.

I can't say I was born not wanting to live... but I can say that by age five, things began going downhill. By my first attempt, I had more on my plate than most adults I know. In looking back, I can see how I thought that was my only option, and why I wanted to be done.

It took me years to get through, and even now, suicide crosses my mind as an option for problem-solving. I see it, recognize it, and discard it as a viable option. I've learned to live with it.

 

[csds703]

Thank you to you both. I think (hope) you both realize how much you mean to me, and how much I value your opinions. :blowkiss:

OLG, thank you for posting so eloquently. For posting so clearly what can be so difficult to understand.

I can't say I was born not wanting to live... but I can say that by age five, things began going downhill. By my first attempt, I had more on my plate than most adults I know. In looking back, I can see how I thought that was my only option, and why I wanted to be done.

It took me years to get through, and even now, suicide crosses my mind as an option for problem-solving. I see it, recognize it, and discard it as a viable option. I've learned to live with it.

You know it is interesting to me how people I have never met have influenced my life. Your posts through the years have inspired me as well.
We never really know how we touch other people's lives and the world would be empty without you.

OLG
You too, have shared so much information about your life and I know that I have benefited from your knowledge.

I hope you both know how valuable you are, and how missed you would be. Thankfully, for all of us, you have both decided to keep on living.
For that, I am grateful. I pray that you both have a peaceful and happy life.

 

[Taximom]

You know it is interesting to me how people I have never met have influenced my life. Your posts through the years have inspired me as well.
We never really know how we touch other people's lives and the world would be empty without you.

OLG
You too, have shared so much information about your life and I know that I have benefited from your knowledge.

I hope you both know how valuable you are, and how missed you would be. Thankfully, for all of us, you have both decided to keep on living.
For that, I am grateful. I pray that you both have a peaceful and happy life.

Thank you for posting this. It's what I've been thinking too.

:blowkiss: to you all.

 

[CaliKid]

This is so heartbreaking.

 

[bakerprune64]

Still at a loss for words. In my wildest imagination, I could never think any childs life is so horrible that they'd want to resort to this...especially one of this age. While grades may have played a major portion in his decission to take his own life...I think that is the extreme and not the rule. I push my kid to get good grades (good in definition is the best they are capable of.) It is the expectation in our house that if you've have tried your absolute hardest and still get a "C", that is acceptable. Our oldest daughter came home with an interim progress report containing 2-D's, and an F. Her teachers comments were that she was not paying attention and turning in late/incomplete assignments. I nipped that off real quick. She wants to raise a Dairy Heiffer for the fair...a very costly investment to say the least. So I told her, you want me to commit my time and money to your project, then I need you to commit your time and effort in school.
If she had gotten those three grades and the comment had been that she was trying very hard but was having difficulty, I would have approched the probelm differently. IMO, there is absolutely nothing wrong with pressuring children to achieve good grades and success, as long as you are not pushing them over the edge., and maintaing a good/healthy balance.

 

[Marthatex]

I have brought this up before on another thread but I find it's worth repeating here on this one..

Sadly, some people are just born not wanting to live. One doesn't even need a "reason" to be sad, they are just born empty, unhappy, sad and feeling out of place in the world.. Symptoms of this can begin very early in life and because that is how the child has always been, parents assume the child is shy or quiet or even just content being alone because their behavior is not out of the ordinary.

They don't need to hear about suicide from anyone and don't need to watch it on TV, they already know what it is and have thought about it often without anyone ever knowing! They keep it hidden yet in an easy to reach place because It's always been their safety net... their way outta this world they feel completely out of place in.

I was born one of these people and as sad as it is, and as much as I wish he would have went to someone for help, I understand how a 7 year old child could want to die.. I pray he finds the peace he was searching for.

It's just hard to imagine at that age; I don't doubt you, but looking back on my young life I'm sure I felt depressed some days; I remember being terribly upset at 7 when I got sick and couldn't go on the field trip LOL. I was so unhappy with my parents.

But I had the "safety net" of school life, a close-knit family, and neighborhood friends and sister to play with every day. Could it be that kids these days just don't have that emotional safety-net. Maybe the parents were there, but not as "sounding boards, someone you could go to for a hug, arranging for a "normal kid's life" - like kids to play with, fun activities, etc."
did this child feel there was no one who understood, no one to go to?

I don't think I knew what suicide was at that age; it was never discussed and I sure didn't see it on TV, watching The Lone Ranger or I Love Lucy.

 

[LionRun]

I have been avoiding reading most of the tragic, sad posts because my mom just died after a terrible battle with cancer and there have been a few other painful events. But, I wanted to read this because I love children so much. This is heartbreaking, and though time cannot be turned back, I wish it could at times like this.

I wonder if this dear boy didn't have inner conflicts resulting from the need to be beyond perfect. Moreover, perhaps he placed his ultimate worth upon being beyond perfect. We don't know if his parents had unrealistic expectations of him or if he felt loved and cherished.

In any case his pain sadly slipped through all of the cracks. No one caught this--not his family, not his school. This doesn't necessarily mean that he was not loved, for I don't know. It may only mean that somehow no one realized the true state of mind this dear, gifted boy was in.

I am always on the hunt for silver linings because it helps me cope with all things painful. Perhaps I can create a silver lining. Maybe I can take note of the state of persons I know and love or even people I don't know well. I can then be there for or do whatever is needed to help someone, and if this helps but one person than that will be a silver lining.

Lion

 

[IrishMist]

I have been avoiding reading most of the tragic, sad posts because my mom just died after a terrible battle with cancer and there have been a few other painful events. But, I wanted to read this because I love children so much. This is heartbreaking, and though time cannot be turned back, I wish it could at times like this.

I wonder if this dear boy didn't have inner conflicts resulting from the need to be beyond perfect. Moreover, perhaps he placed his ultimate worth upon being beyond perfect. We don't know if his parents had unrealistic expectations of him or if he felt loved and cherished.

In any case his pain sadly slipped through all of the cracks. No one caught this--not his family, not his school. This doesn't necessarily mean that he was not loved, for I don't know. It may only mean that somehow no one realized the true state of mind this dear, gifted boy was in.

I am always on the hunt for silver linings because it helps me cope with all things painful. Perhaps I can create a silver lining. Maybe I can take note of the state of persons I know and love or even people I don't know well. I can then be there for or do whatever is needed to help someone, and if this helps but one person than that will be a silver lining.

Lion

I think that good can come from bad, Lion Run. In some cases, it's harder to find it than in others. I think your plan is as good of an idea as any.

 

[t93]

A suicide attempt at nine is how we first found out about our son's bilpolarism. He was(is) also gifted with a very high IQ. Puberty started early with him, and triggered the first signs of his problem. I don't think we can know for sure if that child had it because 7 is really too young to know, but it could cause a child to view the world differently.

 

[OneLostGrl]

Thank you for explaining this. I also had a hard time understanding how a child that young could be so unhappy.

To both you and Irish...

I AM GLAD YOU ARE BOTH STILL HERE WITH US.:blowkiss:

My love to you, OLG. :blowkiss:

Thank you both.

I think it's important that society understands that as difficult as it may be to grasp, some people are simply born this way.