OneLostGrl
I'm going against the grain- I'm going sane
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2004
- Messages
- 14,316
- Reaction score
- 29
Thank you to you both. I think (hope) you both realize how much you mean to me, and how much I value your opinions. :blowkiss:
OLG, thank you for posting so eloquently. For posting so clearly what can be so difficult to understand.
I can't say I was born not wanting to live... but I can say that by age five, things began going downhill. By my first attempt, I had more on my plate than most adults I know. In looking back, I can see how I thought that was my only option, and why I wanted to be done.
It took me years to get through, and even now, suicide crosses my mind as an option for problem-solving. I see it, recognize it, and discard it as a viable option. I've learned to live with it.
This change, this "new me" still shocks me and those who love me even 5 years later! Things will happen and for a split second sometimes I can still read the fear on my husbands face, him wondering how I'll collapse, before he remembers that I'm OK now. What amazes me at the start of every new day is that I no longer wake with the desire to end my life.
Keep on keepin' on, IrishMist!!