This is why I pointed out in earlier posts that although she had shown abusive tendencies during the course of their relationship, by the end Travis was not showing the typical helplessness that is the hallmark of being on the receiving end of it, yet he was still actively engaging with her on some level.
Since he wasn't buying into her manipulation in the traditional sense, he had to have his own reasons for continuing the relationship at whatever level it continued.
Since by the end he obviously wasn't totally broken down by her abuse, his reasons for continuing must have been wholly his own, and my speculation was as follows:
1. He didn't recognize the real danger she posed
2. He did not attribute all of her aberrant behavior to herself alone, but felt she was reacting to something innately about him, and he wanted to find out what that was, I tried to summarize this as 'curiosity' or 'fascination' with the dynamic, which others did not find apparent, seeing only his exasperation, but if there was only exasperation and not this element, then there would have been no reason for him to not let the relationship go completely, which he didn't.
3. He still felt the need to help her warped mind.
I think one key to understanding his response to her and why he never cut her off altogether is this: remember what he wrote about being beaten, hit on the back, hard , by I believe it was his father?
And what he writes is that he learned to position his body so the blows hurt the least, and as the blows fell, he says what he would keep in his mind is how loved he was. That denial and that linking of abuse with love helped him survive, but IMO it was a defense he didn't live long enough to understand or work through.
Remember as well what he told a friend in early April, as she was on her way out of town-- that she was a great gal, and a better person then was. I've thought about what he meant and if he really felt that way.
I think he did mean it, and I think he believed her a better person because she always forgave HIM. He had been increasingly angry with her from December 07 on, and there were at least several times in late March and very early April where he was angry enough at her to become concerned about how he felt.
He tried to warn her....I'm worn out by all this, bitter feelings are brewing, I've always had to give you incentive to tell the truth, soon it won't be incentives but promises of revenge.
Several points about that. Mind matters wrote an excellent post explaining how the severe abuse he experienced as a child might make him extremely afraid of his own anger. That he would bury that anger as far down as he could shove it, that it was easier for him to cope by rewriting reality to deny the source of his anger than to allow himself to feel the anger. Being beaten is actually love.
I'm willing to bet that his interest in the Law of Attraction and the Secret nonsense, personal development in the flavors he chose it, even to some degree PPL, was based on a fundamental need to believe that positive thinking could conquer anything, any problem. Wake up, write in your journal you are going to have a great day, and you WILL have a great day.
An aside.....the killer seems to have believed that as well, in her own way for her own reasons. The difference is, of course that Travis also knew he had to WORK for those positive things to happen.
From all that I've read - journals, texts, emails, etc. I'm very sure that the killer knew early on that anger would be an effective way of controlling Travis.
The man clearly could be irritated by others, but he did NOT get angry. Not one of his friends could remember a time when he even raised his voice to any of them. He just didn't go there. His MO seemed to be to express that he was hurt instead. An ouch, not a how dare you.
He was different with her because when she felt he wasn't paying enough attention to her or when she knew he was flirting with someone else, etc. etc. so many etcs.,she would use any and all means to provoke him to anger. She would not relent until he did become angry.
Once he was angry he was very off balance, and oh so easy to control because he felt out of control. It was scary to him, made him feel weak and vulnerable and disgusted with himself afterwards.
And afterwards he would focus only on his own loss of control, not what she had done to provoke him. It was never her fault. He would apologize to HER. And she would reply, sweetly, oh honey, thank you for your apology. It meant so much to me. I know that you're just feeling stressed by the job (etc). What can I do to make it better for you?
Beatings are love.
. 