If you're enthused to LMN's consistent "Base on a True Story", straight out of the rear end of a bull, dramas, this movie will NOT disappoint you!
Filmed entirely in some nameless "burb", no doubt in California, you are suggestively "taken" to such locals as Las Vegas, Desert Palms, and Mesa, but if you don't hear one of the "actors" mention it, you will be lost without a GPS, or should I say, sucked into the GBS, (general bull s***) of this "movie".
LMN treads lightly, obviously doing their best to avoid lawsuits brought on by John Does A-Z, Jane Does A-Z, Corps A-Z, and such trade names as the MGM Grand, "1000 Places to See Before You Die" and Starbucks. CMJA even has an imaginary friend, "Cherry" who does "lunch" and yoga classes with CMJA. OMG. Even "Naps" has a stand in, a pug who's color, in no way, represents Naps' coloring. CYA, LMN, C.Y.A.
There's more "autopsy photos" and an R rated murder scene that goes WAY beyond the pale. Again, more squeeze on the guts of the bull, hot, steamy, and odoriferous. Although, we were guided into the Stock Yard a few mere minutes into this drama, undoubtedly in the men's bathroom of all places, the stench continues throughout.
The 2 actors, who bring ANYTHING into this little diddy, are the actor playing the character of Travis, and that of Det. Flores. I don't have a clue as to who played Travis, but he seems to be fighting the urge to step away from the insanity of what LMN tries to form as a "plot", which is further from the truth than CMJA's blond hair. Det. Flores' part was most likely a "Cameo" appearance by veteran actor David Zayas, of "Dexter" fame, who probably hadn't a clue of how discombobulated this farce would play out. I'm sure it will be considered the low point in his acting career, and be unmentioned in any of his future acting resumes.
The scenery, stages, settings, etc., incredibly conflict with the true to life scenario. We are introduced to such walk ins as "Nick, Kate, Paul, Helen, Angela, and grandma" who bring nothing, nada, zip. CMJA's ex's are referred to as the "vampire hunter" and that guy who was "20 years older". Somehow. MM got lost, or threatened suit.
The most memorable statement in the entire fiasco? "Looks like Martha Stewart jumped on a grenade." No doubt, the whole movie was the aftermath of a mortar thrown into a cow pie........
For all you WS's, your hand will ache from writing quick notes of all the "falsities" seen and uttered through just the first 10 minutes of this massive piece of fiction. Sheriff Joe's pink and black jail uniforms weren't even given their due :facepalm: CMJA actress's "rack" was even sub par, to say nothing of LMN's creative license in putting her in Victoria's Secret lingerie instead of those well known "Granny Panties".
Should we all get a nickel for every inconsistency in this "flick", that deviated from the truth, we could all retire in Cancun, aka "Hawaii" per LMN.
If for some reason you feel the need to watch this mockery, you can play "Where's Kweefer?", as no doubt, our "favorite reporter" ad nauseum, is probably hidden somewhere in all this manure, maybe an "extra" in the court scene or in the car of yelling youngsters who speed off moments before Travis finds his tires slashed.
We are NOT graced by Ms. Grace, as so often LMN does, but we do hear a sound byte from her and Anderson Cooper. Maybe Ms. Grace's barrettes had a malfunction?
I give it 2 cow pies. Not worth your time or effort, re-watch the trial and the 48 Hours/Dateline episodes on You Tube.
Post Script: Just glanced at my 4+ pages of "notes". If you're expecting to watch something ala "The Bad Seed", "The Good Son" or "Fatal Attraction"......not gonna happen. CMJA's pathology isn't really delved into, and you are left with a "I don't get it?" Not even a "What's a girl to do?" Leans it more into the "Insanity" arena rather than the "Psycho B**** from He!!".
And all you Juanettes? Put your pom poms down cause the "Juan" actor and his few lines are so minimal, if you blink, you'll miss them. Yes, I was disappointed too.......
