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Ryan did fairly well last night. His electrolytes are whacky, so they are keeping a close eye on that and scheduled for a heart catheterization in the morning. His sugar levels are almost normal and they are gong to change his insulin dose. He takes 4 shots a day now. They tell me he is coming out of it and should be sleeping normal sleep by later today. So, that's good news! :)

I came back on to say that...the medical field can sober him up, get him back on his feet, but where does it go from here? It's just a vicious cycle! As his Mother I love him dearly. I know I cannot make him stop, nothing I can say or do will stop this, unless he wants it bad enough. But, it still breaks my heart and I can't help always wanting and hoping that today will be the day the tide turns...I know what he is and I do not blame myself for his drinking. He did this all on his own!
 
Dmacky said:
Good Mornin friends :wave:
I want so bad to post, especially about "addictions" but I have been unable to catch up on reading as I
have been out of commission. It happened 9 days ago (I remember exactly) :smile:
My dog "Macky" :thinking: sound familiar? was jumping up on my daughters bed one night and missed, and she let out a big yelp. She never yelps at all, in fact that was the first time I have ever heard her to that. And I have accidently stepped on her tail and once she got her foot caught in the storm door, and she never let out a peep.

The next day she wouldn't even try to jump up on the couch, which is REALLY unusual since I was eating lunch on a tray table. She never begs for food, she just lays beside me with her little head on my thigh. She wants me to know she's there, just in case I might offer up a morsel or two :smile:

Later I heard her barking downstairs, which means she had to do number 2 (I have a walkout basement) Funny how she goes to the front door when she has to pee.
I let her out, and when she came back in she started running up the steps. She only made it up the 3rd step, and she YELPED....and cried :frown: I had no choice but to pick her up and carry her up the remaining 10 steps. Now I am a very small woman and she is NOT! She's not huge, she's medium height but she weighs 53 lbs. and I weigh 102...

Long story short, Mac's fine and I have a Herniated Disc at L4-5. I have NO back pain at all, just horrible left thigh throbbing pain. It hurts to sit at the computer very long or anywhere for that matter. I have been using ice packs and a heating pad, and it's feeling a little better today. YAY
I'm going to try and read back on all I missed, I know for sure I have a lot to say about alcoholism/drug addiction....Sadly, you can mark my words on that!

I have missed you guys so bad!

PS forgives my typo's, or if sentences make no sense at all. I'm not going to reread my post
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So sorry about your sciatica , I have had it a few times and know how painful it is. One thing that helps mine is soaking in a hot Epsom salts bath, also gentle stretching and going to the chiropractor . Hope you're feeling better soon (((hug)))
 
coffeejunkie said:
Ryan did fairly well last night. His electrolytes are whacky, so they are keeping a close eye on that and scheduled for a heart catheterization in the morning. His sugar levels are almost normal and they are gong to change his insulin dose. He takes 4 shots a day now. They tell me he is coming out of it and should be sleeping normal sleep by later today. So, that's good news! :)

I came back on to say that...the medical field can sober him up, get him back on his feet, but where does it go from here? It's just a vicious cycle! As his Mother I love him dearly. I know I cannot make him stop, nothing I can say or do will stop this, unless he wants it bad enough. But, it still breaks my heart and I can't help always wanting and hoping that today will be the day the tide turns...I know what he is and I do not blame myself for his drinking. He did this all on his own!
Click to expand...

It is good that your son is improving so nicely, coffee. Maybe this will be the scare he needs to get his life under control again. I send my best your way. I can understand "hoping today is the day", as I am in that same mode. But until our boys are scared enough, or decide this life is not the way they want it, we cannot make them accept their faults and leave the drinks behind. Hugs coming to you.

I am tired today and a bit "out of sorts", though I shouldn't be. I decided to get out of the house for a bit, so went down the street to the garage sale at the Senior Center. Boy, did I get a bargain. An Apple bluetooth keyboard for the iPad!!! Spent 25-cents for a $70 keyboard!!! Wooohooooo!!! And it works without any fancy finagling, just turn on the bluetooth. Oh, I love a good bargain.
 
Morning all!
baseball-cap-smiley.gif


Quite the discussions going on... :gathering: just to add my :twocents:

Addiction - the only one is my immediate family for addiction was my younger brother - I believe it started in Jr. high when we moved to the San Fernando Valley (mid '60s) and his friends. He started drinking then progresses to heroin... when he contact Hep-C he did get off the heroin, but still drank. When he drank he would be really mean... got him into a lot of trouble. But he has been sober for the last 25 plus years and understands his "addiction". So glad to see him sober and getting on with his life. He's in his early 60s now.
I must admit that when I was a
hippie2-smiley.gif
I did try some drugs... LSD - took that twice, so no thanks!! Too screwy for my brain! Of course started drinking in college going to the Frat parties; wasn't an alcoholic, just drinking socially, but stopped drinking about 20 years ago... did cocaine in the early 90s, no need for it now... but take my medical marijuana for my eyes!
hippie4-smiley.gif
which by the way was prescribed by my eye doctor back in the late 70s.

Cancer clinical trials - yes they do get tons of $$ for research, but there is a new cancer drug from Astrazeneca that my sister is taking. She's had her non-Hodgkin's lymphoma come back now for the 4th time... the pills are working; her tumors had diminished and she will have a PET scan next week to see how well this drug has worked. A coincidence with Astrazeneca is that her twin works there in Sweden!!

Sciatic pain - I had that plus knee problems before I had my hip surgery! No problems anymore! :happydance:

Great posts Bernina and Gigig!! and to all who need a BIG
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Okay... I have to say - another beautiful day in the neighborhood!
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but should be getting a bit of rain and thunder storms later today and tonight!
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and you ALL are my
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#1 imaginary friends, as my Huz calls you all!
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LOL!
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I gave up on
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LOL! Put it off for another day...

Oh, and today is my daughter's 46th birthday... haven't actually "seen" her since she was 18 days old... can't wish her a Happy Birthday, as no communication in 8 years... :(

okay off to read Holmes and see how the jury is doing on the Bomber case... :pcguru:

carry-on-smiley.gif
 
Hellor Niner. Thanks for sharing all of that! Glad to hear your brother is doing so well these days, and your sister's twin works in Sweeden? Imagine that. Interesting connection with your other sister's med. I am sorry about your daughter, though. Happy Birthday to her, wherever she may be;. Bless you for being so strong.
 
coffeejunkie said:
Ryan did fairly well last night. His electrolytes are whacky, so they are keeping a close eye on that and scheduled for a heart catheterization in the morning. His sugar levels are almost normal and they are gong to change his insulin dose. He takes 4 shots a day now. They tell me he is coming out of it and should be sleeping normal sleep by later today. So, that's good news! :)

I came back on to say that...the medical field can sober him up, get him back on his feet, but where does it go from here? It's just a vicious cycle! As his Mother I love him dearly. I know I cannot make him stop, nothing I can say or do will stop this, unless he wants it bad enough. But, it still breaks my heart and I can't help always wanting and hoping that today will be the day the tide turns...I know what he is and I do not blame myself for his drinking. He did this all on his own!
Click to expand...


Glad to hear he's improving, and more so that your head is in a good place.

Anyway you slice it, it rips us up one side and down the other. At one point it literally breaks your heart, I physically feel a huge whole in my soul.

Call me a weenie, but I couldn't do it anymore with my daughter. It's been over 8 years that I had any communication with her or my 3 grandkids, and they've been living just 20 minutes away the last 3 years. I don't have anything, pictures, gifts, trinkets, not a thing around to remind me of her.....except a c-section scar.

It hurts too much. She was so talented, so smart, so beautiful.

Blah. It is what it is.

jack_sparrow_scream-59684.gif

That's me screaming, I feel better now, lol!
 
coffeejunkie said:
Ryan did fairly well last night. His electrolytes are whacky, so they are keeping a close eye on that and scheduled for a heart catheterization in the morning. His sugar levels are almost normal and they are gong to change his insulin dose. He takes 4 shots a day now. They tell me he is coming out of it and should be sleeping normal sleep by later today. So, that's good news! :)

I came back on to say that...the medical field can sober him up, get him back on his feet, but where does it go from here? It's just a vicious cycle! As his Mother I love him dearly. I know I cannot make him stop, nothing I can say or do will stop this, unless he wants it bad enough. But, it still breaks my heart and I can't help always wanting and hoping that today will be the day the tide turns...I know what he is and I do not blame myself for his drinking. He did this all on his own!
Click to expand...

Coffejunkie, I'm so sorry about your son's problems and health issues and can only imagine how heartbreaking and stressful it is for you. Do you know if he's ever tried Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy ? It's very good for many types of problems. You can google it and find some information on it if you're interested in looking into it. Prayers and (((hugs)))
 
Bernina said:
You nailed it, Neesaki. By telling people addiction and alcoholism is a disease, it diminishes their hope to conquer it, or an excuse to continue it. And Big Pharma can roll out their poisons to keep it in check or minimize the consequences. Rehab centers can jack up their recovery rate, with a feeble 30 day program that doesn't do anything but keep you in a drug/alcohol free environment, and charge bukoo bucks to do it. I could do that chaining a substance abuser to a toilet for 30 days.
Methadone clinics tell their patients when they start treatment that they should expect to relapse..........seriously? The abuser/addict just got a BIG FAT PERMISSION to go back to using. What is THAT?!?
My parents and both sets of grandparents did not drink or use drugs..........but here you have children who grew up and did exactly that, in one form or another. Some of my cousins on both sides also did. Even more ironic, the Mormon kids my age, about 15 of them, that I grew up with did the same, all but 2. No history of family alcoholism or drug abuse, 3-4 generations of staunch Mormonism.

(Granted, my grandpa on my mom's side ended up in a Mexican prison when he and his buddies decided to bring some pot into the country way back in the 40's, no one knew anything about it except my grandma, and it didn't come out until way after her death when one of the relatives went through her journals. Gramps was a heavy equipment operator so no one questioned why he was "on the road" for 6 months. He was trying to make quick cash during the "down season")

So where does an isolated "culture" play into this?
It's kinda like when your parents drop the bomb about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.....you realize your parents are capable of lying. So the first time you pick up a cigarette, a cup of coffee laced with sugar and cream, or that can of Budweiser..........there's no bolt of lightning from on high, no fire licking at your heals, and dangit, it tastes kind of good and feels kinda cool. Mom, dad, and your religious foundation gets kind of rocked. What else could they possibly be "lying" about?

And in my case, why were my parent's values so grand when grandpa had free reign to molest me and dad could beat the crap out of me? That BS would have put both of them in jail in this day and age, but the only thing I was warned of growing up with was "stranger danger".

A & E had a real insightful series "Intervention" on for years. The only issue they couldn't show was someone ODing, getting alcohol poisoning, or flat out dying in front of the camera. They got the "this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs/alcohol", but couldn't follow through with "and this is what happens as you die". They never showed the alcoholic with a blood alcohol so high, that the person had to be put into a medical comma to detox. They never showed the junkie turning blue, vomiting and crapping on themselves as they OD'd seconds after shooting up or the EMT's hitting them with Narcon trying to resuscitate them. You don't just get a shot and everything's fine and dandy. The opiate antagonizer hits you in waves, you nod out, you came back in a rage, you nod out again, and so on and so on. How about the pill popper who ends up in the emergency room who has charcoal forced down a tube into their stomach, then put in Critical care until they stabilize?

It's kind of weird that we can be exposed to the atrocities of war, police shootings caught on cell phones, the dead victims of bombings, earthquakes and natural disasters being pulled out of the rubble, the collection of bodies after an Air tragedy, but American society is too "fragile" to be exposed to the end result of substance abuse according to MSM and the Government. And corpses in a morgue don't cut it.

Can anything be more brutally disturbing than the autopsy and crime scene photos we were exposed to during Travis' trial?

Gotta chill out here, kids...........between the Government, lobbyist, Big Pharma, doctors, etc., etc., there won't be a solution because there's too much money to be made on the "problem".
Click to expand...


Bernina, this was too good of a post to only push the like button!

I just wanted to comment on the Methadone Clinic's ... :gaah:
My daughter moved out at age 19. I guess that's why I had no idea she was ever on was on any drugs. She moved back home to help me out when I lost my DH. And she was a lot of help, and I was grateful to have her home with me. She worked two jobs and only had to pay her car payment and Insurance. BUT she never had any extra money. No savings, no credit cards etc... One day I asked her what she was doing with her money??? That's when she told me she had been going to the Methadone Clinic for 5 years. To get off of pain pills, her "friends" told her to go to the MC. I honestly couldn't tell she was on anything, so it does help I suppose. OK, here's the clincher. She pays $110.00 a week for her little drink of koolaid!!

They don't want you to get off the stuff, it's a very lucrative BUSINESS. Oh and it's CASH ONLY :gaah:

They real problem came when she tried to get off the crap...It was a nightmare. She did make it 42 days. The withdrawals are awful. I know first hand as I watched her shake, she couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, and this was AFTER rehab. This is a girl that initially weighed 115lbs, and went down to 97. Methadone has a long half life, and it takes forever to finally get out of your system.
They don't call it "liquid handcuffs" for nothing!

Next she tried suboxone. Same money making business. 300 bucks for initial appointment, where she was given one script a month. NOT covered by her insurance (like methadone) I can't remember the exact price, but the script was over $100.00!
And it was gonna cost 125.00 to see the "sub" doc every month! CASH only

The suboxone made her break out in red pimple looking bumps all over. She looked like she had chicken pox (except smaller)

Long story short she's back at the methadone clinic and for some reason she keeps increasing her dose, and now I can tell she's on something. It makes me sick.....

I have left out so much, but I can't sit here any longer. I'm going to take my Naproxen and maybe a half of my very well hidden Pain pills.

:loveyou: for all the tips and well wishes from my very special SB friends!!!

I am dying to tell you all more, I just can't sit here one more minute
 
Dmacky said:
Bernina, this was too good of a post to only push the like button!

I just wanted to comment on the Methadone Clinic's ... :gaah:

My daughter is on methadone also. She tried the suboxone. It gave her anxiety attacks. She had to go back on methadone but her dosage was lowered. I can't tell she is on anything. She acts normal, sounds normal. One would never know. I know she will most likely be on it for the rest of her life. She has been on it since her early twenties and is in her late 30's now. I am just grateful she is alive. I guess like any drug, it effects people different.
Click to expand...
 
Dmacky said:
Bernina, this was too good of a post to only push the like button!

I just wanted to comment on the Methadone Clinic's ... :gaah:
My daughter moved out at age 19. I guess that's why I had no idea she was ever on was on any drugs. She moved back home to help me out when I lost my DH. And she was a lot of help, and I was grateful to have her home with me. She worked two jobs and only had to pay her car payment and Insurance. BUT she never had any extra money. No savings, no credit cards etc... One day I asked her what she was doing with her money??? That's when she told me she had been going to the Methadone Clinic for 5 years. To get off of pain pills, her "friends" told her to go to the MC. I honestly couldn't tell she was on anything, so it does help I suppose. OK, here's the clincher. She pays $110.00 a week for her little drink of koolaid!!

They don't want you to get off the stuff, it's a very lucrative BUSINESS. Oh and it's CASH ONLY :gaah:

They real problem came when she tried to get off the crap...It was a nightmare. She did make it 42 days. The withdrawals are awful. I know first hand as I watched her shake, she couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, and this was AFTER rehab. This is a girl that initially weighed 115lbs, and went down to 97. Methadone has a long half life, and it takes forever to finally get out of your system.
They don't call it "liquid handcuffs" for nothing!

Next she tried suboxone. Same money making business. 300 bucks for initial appointment, where she was given one script a month. NOT covered by her insurance (like methadone) I can't remember the exact price, but the script was over $100.00!
And it was gonna cost 125.00 to see the "sub" doc every month! CASH only

The suboxone made her break out in red pimple looking bumps all over. She looked like she had chicken pox (except smaller)

Long story short she's back at the methadone clinic and for some reason she keeps increasing her dose, and now I can tell she's on something. It makes me sick.....

I have left out so much, but I can't sit here any longer. I'm going to take my Naproxen and maybe a half of my very well hidden Pain pills.

:loveyou: for all the tips and well wishes from my very special SB friends!!!

I am dying to tell you all more, I just can't sit here one more minute
Click to expand...

Ricki said:
Dmacky said:
Bernina, this was too good of a post to only push the like button!

I just wanted to comment on the Methadone Clinic's ... :gaah:

My daughter is on methadone also. She tried the suboxone. It gave her anxiety attacks. She had to go back on methadone but her dosage was lowered. I can't tell she is on anything. She acts normal, sounds normal. One would never know. I know she will most likely be on it for the rest of her life. She has been on it since her early twenties and is in her late 30's now. I am just grateful she is alive. I guess like any drug, it effects people different.
Click to expand...

So they just switch their drug of choice, and keep them on it for years perhaps For the rest of their lives. This is beyond an outrage, and how convenient that its cash only. :gaah:
Click to expand...
 
When I visit the Sidebar, I am always so impressed with the wisdom, strength, love and good humor that abounds here. You people are so remarkable. Do you even know how great you are?? I'm tearing up, just thinking of how lucky I am to be part of such a wonderful group, and how proud I am to call you my friends. I know it's only online...but there are real people whacking away at those keyboards, being so open and honest, so kind and generous. It's such a joy to stop by here every day and read your posts...I know they all come straight from the heart. I never tire of it. Or of you...all of you!
:tyou:
 
Ricki said:
Dmacky said:
Bernina, this was too good of a post to only push the like button!

I just wanted to comment on the Methadone Clinic's ... :gaah:

My daughter is on methadone also. She tried the suboxone. It gave her anxiety attacks. She had to go back on methadone but her dosage was lowered. I can't tell she is on anything. She acts normal, sounds normal. One would never know. I know she will most likely be on it for the rest of her life. She has been on it since her early twenties and is in her late 30's now. I am just grateful she is alive. I guess like any drug, it effects people different.
Click to expand...

I do understand Ricki, as I never knew my daughter was on anything either until I asked where all her money was going.
$110.00 a week is what gripes my :butthead: It's rEdiculous! That's a house payment! Maybe it doesn't cost that much were you live? I just can't wrap my head around the price. I absolutely meant no disrespect to you, or to your daughter :hug:
Click to expand...
 
Hey everyone. Ricki, my daughter also goes to the methadone clinic.
 
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