Teacher, 41, resigns, leaves wife, moves in with 18-year-old student

[Steely Dan]

You're right. I wasn't thinking the whole thing through. I was only seeing this one relationship and should have thought about the potential for more. Thanks for pointing that out.

 

[gitana1]

But...she's no longer a student, right?

Right but it looks like they announced right when she turned 18 and was no longer a student, which means they had to have been involved before that.

Have you guys seen the girl? Looks like a baby to me, especially when compared to him. To me, he's a child molester. Maybe a legal child moelster, but one nevertheless.

 

[davehead21]

ETA: Btw, I taught foster parent certification classes SPECIFICALLY on dealing with girls who are provocative towards foster family members, particularly the fathers, WHY they do this, and how to RESPOND to it.

ALSO, I don't tell this story often, as I have HAPPILY moved on with my life, but my college-teaching husband of 20 years had an affair with a 17 year old student. So I've seen this game from both sides of the fence. I STRONGLY believe this man abused this vulnerable young girl with emotional issues (even if SHE came on to HIM) and until we put these people innprison for it, others will continue to follow suit. This destroys lives, but keeping narcissistic sociopaths from destroying others around them for their own entertainment is a hard hard job.

First of all, I am sorry you went through that.

BBM

And that is exactly why this story should be news. This type of behavior will only continue if things are swept under the rug. I mean, come on, they didn't just wake up the day the girl turned 18 and decide to become lovers.

 

[Velouria]

Right but it looks like they announced right when she turned 18 and was no longer a student, which means they had to have been involved before that.

Have you guys seen the girl? Looks like a baby to me, especially when compared to him. To me, he's a child molester. Maybe a legal child moelster, but one nevertheless.

She does look like a very young 18, gitana...

I'm not sure I'd classify him as a child molester, but I would put him solidly in the "total " category.

 

[Steely Dan]

She does look like a very young 18, gitana...

I'm not sure I'd classify him as a child molester, but I would put him solidly in the "total " category.

If it's true that this began when she was 14 then he is a pedophile.

 

[Velouria]

If it's true that this began when she was 14 then he is a pedophile.

Not to split hairs, Steely, but technically I believe he'd be classified as an ephibophile - someone who is sexually attracted to adolescents. In any case, this relationship obviously began when she was below the age of legal consent. If he were a true pedophile, then I doubt he'd take such drastic steps to continue this relationship, and would instead start grooming a younger girl.

IMO, this may well have been a case not so much of a guy who has a predilection for little girls nearly as much as a guy who is surrounded by adolescent girls taking advantage of what's readily available. He's hitting his 40s and going through the proverbial mid-life crisis, looking for something or someone to make him feel better about himself. Were he a college professor, he'd likely zero in on an insecure young woman 18 or over.

 

[gitana1]

Not to split hairs, Steely, but technically I believe he'd be classified as an ephibophile - someone who is sexually attracted to adolescents. In any case, this relationship obviously began when she was below the age of legal consent. If he were a true pedophile, then I doubt he'd take such drastic steps to continue this relationship, and would instead start grooming a younger girl.

IMO, this may well have been a case not so much of a guy who has a predilection for little girls nearly as much as a guy who is surrounded by adolescent girls taking advantage of what's readily available. He's hitting his 40s and going through the proverbial mid-life crisis, looking for something or someone to make him feel better about himself. Were he a college professor, he'd likely zero in on an insecure young woman 18 or over.

She just looks like a child to me. He's a pervert. I say he's a child molester because just because a kid has reached puberty doesn't make it appropriate to "date" them. Predators, child molesters, they like having power over someone much younger and less sexually experienced than they. They like someone less mature so they can dominate that person. In essence, that it what is behind child sexual abuse. So, even though this girl is of age, he is vastly older and the imbalance of power, which is a hallmark of all pedophilic assaults or child molestations, exists in this case.

This makes me sick. To me, it's not about a mid-life crisis. I could believe that if the girl was at least in her 20's, and looked sexy and/or mature. But this baby-faced teen? Creep me out. I'm disgusted and he is a perverted predatory type IMO.

 

[tlcya]

I don't get how this father, whose17 year old daughter was a peer and classmate of his new squeeze btw, can "fall in love" with someone who imo is a very imature 18, leave wife, family, job, everything.

I saw the interview with these two. He acted just as emotionally immature as she. Ugh, watching them together gave me the heebie geebies.

 

[Tuffy]

BBM So "a lot" of students knew that a 14-year-old girl was having a relationship with a much older teacher and in 4 years the gossip mill never reached an adult? A teacher? A parent? I'm sorry, but that is really hard to believe!

I'll have to sit on this story for a while though? I don't really know what to think just yet? I can't help but think... she's an adult now?

I think the kids not going to the authorities is pretty typical. High school students often don't possess the maturity to do something like that. A lot of abuse goes on just for that reason.

I don't get how this father, whose17 year old daughter was a peer and classmate of his new squeeze btw, can "fall in love" with someone who imo is a very imature 18, leave wife, family, job, everything.

I saw the interview with these two. He acted just as emotionally immature as she. Ugh, watching them together gave me the heebie geebies.

My take on it:

The guy looks pretty nerdy, and probably never had much luck with the ladies. When he started teaching, the pretty little high school girls suddenly like him. I think he believed he could get the kind of cute girl that wouldn't give him the time of day when he was in high school.

Strange though that he quit his job (perhaps to avoid paying child support?) But how is he supporting his new girlfriend and himself?

 

[Fairy1]

Sorry, but I think this guy is a creeper. The girl will, hopefully, come to her senses. I hope it's sooner rather than later.

I would hate to see her waste her entire youth and forego all the things she should be doing now on this idiot.

Shame on him.

IMO.

 

[shana]

OK, I have a sneakin' suspicion that the girl is gonna go back home pretty soon. Why? Cuz of her facial reactions during her 15 mins on TV interviews, the ones mentioned upthread when the creep was talking about the girl's mother and her threats. I sense a chink in the armor.

One can only hope...

 

[sayd]

When I was in high school thirty years ago, one of the teachers divorced his wife and married one of his students. They are still happily married thirty years later.

I figure she is 18 and if she wants to marry him, she can. If she wants to later divorce him, she can do that too. And, if they want to have children, her mother who went on Nancy Grace saying she is trying to get him arrested, is going to miss those grandbabies.

Just saying...

There are bigger fish that need frying.

 

[OneLove]

When I was in high school thirty years ago, one of the teachers divorced his wife and married one of his students. They are still happily married thirty years later.

I figure she is 18 and if she wants to marry him, she can. If she wants to later divorce him, she can do that too. And, if they want to have children, her mother who went on Nancy Grace saying she is trying to get him arrested, is going to miss those grandbabies.

Just saying...

There are bigger fish that need frying.

Even a person's very closest friend often can't really know for sure if a long term marriage is really "happy". So I take that comment with a big reserve of judgement.

More to the point is an ADULT entrusted to educate and enrich a minor juvenile instead diddled with her sexually. Whether they LATER make it "legal" with a license or not isn't the point. A teen's present and future was stolen before they were mature enough to make sound decisions. And stolen by a person whose JOB was to PROTECT them.

Just not buying thAt this is insignificant. Not in my book. And not in the book of responsible loving parents, IMO.

 

[Shelby2]

Lengthy article

http://www.modbee.com/2012/03/03/2095017/family-of-modesto-teacher-makes.html

 

[Donjeta]

Strange though that he quit his job (perhaps to avoid paying child support?) But how is he supporting his new girlfriend and himself?

snipped for space

Maybe he quit to avoid being fired for meddling with a student and/or problems with other concerned parents if he continued teaching?

 

[OneLove]

If he truly believes he did NO wrong, quitting his job doesn't seem very smart or well balanced. After all, he now has two households to take care of. He could have waited to be fired and file suit for wrongful termination. His quitting seems to me to be a guilty move. Also, I think odds are he is obsessed; how many texts were there?? And he's how old?? I propose that he may have quit because his hot toy now lives outside of her parental home, he doesn't trust her, and he needs to keep tabs on her. Hard to do that if you are working....

I don't see this being fun for either of them for very much longer.

I absolutely believe SHE is the victim here, she IS a teen after all. From my perspective gained from years of working specifically with teen girls and their families, I will say that she: 1) showed her mother she couldn't be controlled; 2) got a man to confirm that she really is attractive; 3) finally won out over her lover's wife and 'showed her' too; 4) thinks she just won her INDEPENDENCE, hah, by getting a "place of her own".

The first two things are standard teen developmental issues. The third is bad character for ANY age, but I can write it off because of her youth. The fourth is the BIGGEST MISTAKE most young women make. It will be interesting to see just how long it takes her to realize she just sold her independence down river. After all, she didn't have to PAY for her room, meals, clothing, and other needs at her mother's house by having sex with creepy developmentally delayed old men. IMO

 

[Reader]

California High School Teacher-Student Romance: Therapist Calls Man 'Sexual Predator'

http://gma.yahoo.com/california-hig...ance-therapist-calls-083426952--abc-news.html

The former high school teacher who left his family to be with a former student is a "sex predator" and the couple are suffering from shared paranoia, thinking that the world is against them, a therapist who has spoken to the man said.
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Hooker's immaturity will prevent the couple from ever having a normal relationship, therapist Bethenny Marshall, who recently interviewed the couple with ABC News present, said.

"James is pathologically immature," Marshall later told ABC News. "And this is what we see with teachers who have inappropriate relationships with their students. They imagine themselves to be age mates or peers with the students.

"Like most sex predators, he is identified age-wise with the victim. This is what you see with pedophilia, with offending patterns, with teachers who have sex with students. They always talk about the student as if they and the student are the exact same age," she added. "James does what sex offenders often do. He disavows culpability while doing the same actions he's saying he's not responsible for."
------

"They're both dropouts at this point. She's a dropout from school and he's a dropout from society. We used to have a diagnosis … called shared paranoia," Marshall said. "And that's when one person makes another person believe that the world is against them. When you make another person believe that the world is against both of you, you create a very powerful bond. This is what we see in cults. And this is what he's created with her."

More at link...

 

[jjenny]

Paranoia? Really? I think if the two of them are thinking the world is against them in this instance they are correct.

 

[Steely Dan]

Paranoia? Really? I think if the two of them are thinking the world is against them in this instance they are correct.

I think he used that line of thinking on her before all of this happened.

 

[shana]

Sadly, her perception of this shared paranoia - coupled with his indoctrination and her typical teenage stubbornness - could combine to impede her return to home anytime soon.

It's likely she talks to no one but him, such that her perception is way skewed. I hope she is using a sound means of birth control, correctly.

~jmo~