Teresa N., Haleigh's paternal grandmother #2

[Be Careful]

You might not be aware, but there was speculation in prior threads that TN's demeanor seem to change after the NYC visit. She went with Misty & Ron to the Today Show (their honeymoon), and the thought was maybe she overheard them talking about something to do with all of this, something about their involvement...

Wow, no I wasn't aware of the prior speculation and didn't know TN went with Ron and Misty to NY. Honestly, this case has my head spinning. I've followed many missing children cases, but this one is unlike any other in the sense (for me) in other cases after following them for a while, I felt pretty sure who the guilty party was. Here, I just don't know. But of course if TN did in fact overhear Ron and Misty discussing something about HaLeigh being missing that LE should know, then she needs to go directly to LE for HaLeigh's sake. I wouldn't cover for either of my children if a missing child was at stake.

 

[Anothermom]

Also, I would point out that RC has spread his seed to, at least, three druggies, that we know of. That, to me, is irresponsible behavior. As folks have pointed out, at least two of his children have chromosomal abnormalities, which, I believe, are probably related to drug use. I would hope that I would intervene, in some way, if this was my son out inseminating all of these women. I would definitely have something to say about it. You just don't do that. That goes along with self-control and self-discipline.

 

[Anothermom]

oh, and I forgot, just plain ol' common sense.

 

[pittsburghgirl]

Flossy, you're forgetting one small thing:
HALEIGH IS GONE from his home!

That is true of the parents of Elizabeth Smart and Polly Klaas. Etan Patz's parents let him walk alone to the school bus. Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped right in front of her stepfather--and he was blamed for it. Children have been kidnapped from front yards, back yards and getting off the school bus. It doesn't make their parents "responsible" because the child is abducted from what is reasonably expected to be a safe place. It certainly doesn't make sense to hold Ron "responsible" if someone kidnapped or killed his daughter while he was at work. If Haleigh was murdered, it is the cruel and heartless person who killed her and anyone who helped that is responsible. If Haleigh died by an accident that was covered up, then we are looking at the people who did the covering up. If Haleigh was abducted and is still alive, unless Ronald has her, he's not "responsible" for that. Ron can't be "responsible" for Haleigh's disappearance since he was where he was supposed to be and attempting to check up on things while he was at work--anymore than Reve Walsh is responsible for the death of her son because a security guard shooed him out of a store where a predator snatched him.

Clearly, Ron made a terrible mistake in trusting Misty to put the kids to bed at night and secure the house while he was at work; that, however, does not reflect on his mother, who is the subject of this thread.

 

[Flossie JMO]

:waitasec: which 3 "druggies" has Ron "spread his seed to"?

I am curious how one would go about stopping their son from having children?

Also, I would point out that RC has spread his seed to, at least, three druggies, that we know of. That, to me, is irresponsible behavior. As folks have pointed out, at least two of his children have chromosomal abnormalities, which, I believe, are probably related to drug use. I would hope that I would intervene, in some way, if this was my son out inseminating all of these women. I would definitely have something to say about it. You just don't do that. That goes along with self-control and self-discipline.

 

[elle1919]

We are discussing TN and her place in this mess. What you refer to as my problem is simply an opinion. Her enabling issues are important to this case and is an aspect that is worth discussing on this forum. A parent who enables a child, regardless of their age, is much more disturbing b/c it shows a dysfunction within the family.
As to how this could help find Haleigh, it could help b/c it gives us a better picture of the family dynamics, what the family values most, patterns of behavior that can help understand things better. IMO it does play a vital role in discussing TN and the abduction of Haleigh.

Novice Seeker

If you read my post correctly you would have read that I said MY PROBLEM and nowhere in my post did I state that you had a problem Novice Seeker. Please go back and read my post.

snip from my post My problem is that people wish to ascribe fault to Teresa Neves ( this is her thread) for the union and label her as en enabler. end snip.

I am quite aware that you are giving me your opinion. Your opinion seems to be the consensus on the thread and therefore you have many posters that are in agreement with you. I have just as much right to reply to a thread with my opinion and I will continue to do that in a respectful manner.

As far as discussing the dysfunction that might or might not exist in this case, please show me a family that lacks dysfunction. There are many many causes for dysfunction. I was raised in a very dysfunctional family and I am raising a child with disabilities, that doesn't mean that dysfunction causes children to go missing or worse end up murdered. The distinctions that are being drawn in this case are in my opinion unfair.

 

[elle1919]

Clearly, the discussion isn't about Haleigh, as you note. If so, my post and second post wouldn't be necessary. We would not be talking about Teresa or Ron because they didn't abduct her. I also agree that Teresa is not responsible for the actions of Ron or Misty. I also think she is not obliged to go on national TV and trash her son. No matter how I felt privately about my son's behavior, I wouldn't through him under the bus on Nancy Grace. Ron is an adult. Misty in an emancipated minor. Anyone who has an adult child knows that you can't control his or her behavior--in particular, if there are drugs involved. Most parents who have kids with drug or alcohol issues have a heartbreaking and very fine line to walk, because they don't want their son or daughter--or their grandchildren--to end up dead. Teresa Neves seems heartbroken over the whole situation and she has my sincere sympathy for the ordeal she is going through.

Actually, I think people on this thread would benefit from reading the Robert Manwill thread. There, a pair of evil people killed an 8 year old boy, the stepfather by beating him to death, the mother by letting it happen over time. These people are rightly reviled. Child protective services comes in for some severe criticism because the mother had already fractured the skull of this boy's infant brother and spent time in jail. The killers had only visitation. The father comes in for some criticism because he has been married to TWO of the child killers. But there is a sense of laying blame where it belongs. The story of Haleigh is still unfinished. We don't yet know where she is. Time enough then to apportion responsibility. But none of it--NONE--goes to Teresa Neves. Without a proper family evaluation, it is unfair to characterize her as an "enabler."

I agree pittsburghgirl. I think you have something very important to add to these threads and I sincerely hope that you will continue to post because I really enjoy reading your perspective.

You are 100% correct this case is not finished and you know I believe with all my heart that we are going to have all the answers soon. I really do. Only then can proper assumptions be made and I hope that this family gets the answers that will bring them peace.

 

[pittsburghgirl]

:waitasec: which 3 "druggies" has Ron "spread his seed to"?

I am curious how one would go about stopping their son from having children?

Chromosomal damage can also be genetic.

 

[stilettos]

That is true of the parents of Elizabeth Smart and Polly Klaas. Etan Patz's parents let him walk alone to the school bus. Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped right in front of her stepfather--and he was blamed for it. Children have been kidnapped from front yards, back yards and getting off the school bus. It doesn't make their parents "responsible" because the child is abducted from what is reasonably expected to be a safe place. It certainly doesn't make sense to hold Ron "responsible" if someone kidnapped or killed his daughter while he was at work. If Haleigh was murdered, it is the cruel and heartless person who killed her and anyone who helped that is responsible. If Haleigh died by an accident that was covered up, then we are looking at the people who did the covering up. If Haleigh was abducted and is still alive, unless Ronald has her, he's not "responsible" for that. Ron can't be "responsible" for Haleigh's disappearance since he was where he was supposed to be and attempting to check up on things while he was at work--anymore than Reve Walsh is responsible for the death of her son because a security guard shooed him out of a store where a predator snatched him.

Clearly, Ron made a terrible mistake in trusting Misty to put the kids to bed at night and secure the house while he was at work; that, however, does not reflect on his mother, who is the subject of this thread.

BBM It is precisely those behaviors (and so much more) that bring to question Tn's praise of Misty with the children.

 

[Flossie JMO]

Chromosomal damage can also be genetic.

Absolutely

 

[elle1919]

Also, I would point out that RC has spread his seed to, at least, three druggies, that we know of. That, to me, is irresponsible behavior. As folks have pointed out, at least two of his children have chromosomal abnormalities, which, I believe, are probably related to drug use. I would hope that I would intervene, in some way, if this was my son out inseminating all of these women. I would definitely have something to say about it. You just don't do that. That goes along with self-control and self-discipline.

I am sorry for all the posts in my name but I just got back from the doctor with my daughter, and I am frankly bewildered with the line of posts that I am reading. Specifically the one I quoted. Is there something wrong with children who have chromosomal abnormalities? Because a family with a child with chromosomal abnormalities they shouldn't have anymore children? I am sorry anothermom I am just trying to get how discussing these children in this way on Teresa's thread is going to help us find Haleigh?

Haleigh is a beautiful child that does not deserve to be discussed in this manner. It is her you are speaking of in this way. This forum is visited by thousands of people trying to get information on a missing little girl named Haleigh Cummings. You speak about self control and discipline. I think I certain amount of self control should be used while posting to these public threads. It is heartbreaking!

 

[Flossie JMO]

We also do not know if Jordan is Ron's son, and the microcephaly can be caused by several things, incl maternal issues, genetic factors etc.

 

[elle1919]

got quiet in here....lol

 

[pittsburghgirl]

elle1919 and Flossie, You both make good points about what we can't know about individual chromosomal damage (it can also be environmental factors like pollution or chemical exposure.) My mother was prescribed diethylstilbestrol when she was pregnant with me and I have had a number of problems, including ovarian surgery at age 24 and must have life-long cancer screenings. She was stung be a bee when she was pregnant with my brother and he's very allergic to stings. Maternal drinking can be a factor in fetal development (fetal alcohol syndrome). Only a geneticist can sort out what went wrong, and even he or she might be wrong. In any event, children born with these difficulties are still bright spirits with much to give.

 

[RoseRed]

Flossy, you're forgetting one small thing:
HALEIGH IS GONE from his home!

Lots of children are gone from their own homes and it is not always the parent at fault.

 

[PorcineGranny]

Also, I would point out that RC has spread his seed to, at least, three druggies, that we know of. That, to me, is irresponsible behavior. As folks have pointed out, at least two of his children have chromosomal abnormalities, which, I believe, are probably related to drug use. I would hope that I would intervene, in some way, if this was my son out inseminating all of these women. I would definitely have something to say about it. You just don't do that. That goes along with self-control and self-discipline.

Self respect and decency. No one wants to bring a child in to the world with so many strikes against it if they can help it. Everyone needs to stand back,nothing has been said about children with disabilities in a negative way. We love them all, I have four, one severely disabled. I would balk at anyone who spoke against the blessings of having these children. But, the fact is, when you have a disabled child, you must consider that before bringing another one into the world. In my case, we didn't know our disability was genetic until the third one. And really alot is not discussed about it to this day. My fourth child is my happiness, she is wonderful.

We don''t need to fan the flames of dissention in here because we all love our children and want Haleigh home. I would suggest that those whose opinions are in the minority might rethink their conclusions, not that I couldn't be wrong, but generally I always think I'm right! lol And to those who would say this is TN's thread why are we having this conversation, well this case is interwoven in so many ways with opinions, family dynamics we just spin off in all directions cause it bothers us that

TN is responsible for alot of what is going on and that has been discussed over and over and I'm not going there again. Ron is directly responsible and that has been covered alot too. If you don't get it, you just never will.
These are opinions and I look forward to the day this case is solved and we all know the answers.

 

[elle1919]

Self respect and decency. No one wants to bring a child in to the world with so many strikes against it if they can help it. Everyone needs to stand back,nothing has been said about children with disabilities in a negative way. We love them all, I have four, one severely disabled. I would balk at anyone who spoke against the blessings of having these children. But, the fact is, when you have a disabled child, you must consider that before bringing another one into the world. In my case, we didn't know our disability was genetic until the third one. And really alot is not discussed about it to this day. My fourth child is my happiness, she is wonderful.

We don''t need to fan the flames of dissention in here because we all love our children and want Haleigh home. I would suggest that those whose opinions are in the minority might rethink their conclusions, not that I couldn't be wrong, but generally I always think I'm right! lol And to those who would say this is TN's thread why are we having this conversation, well this case is interwoven in so many ways with opinions, family dynamics we just spin off in all directions cause it bothers us that

TN is responsible for alot of what is going on and that has been discussed over and over and I'm not going there again. Ron is directly responsible and that has been covered alot too. If you don't get it, you just never will.
These are opinions and I look forward to the day this case is solved and we all know the answers.

lol...Hi Porcine Granny. Since I stated that I thought my opinion was the minority let me say that I haven't come to any conclusion yet! Most women do think they are always right so I see how you would think that. I am in no way saying that there is not dysfunction in Haleigh's family. I think there is a degree of dysfunction in just about all families. In my opinion dysfunction doesn't cause children to go missing. We can talk about TN until the cows come home if it is going to find Haleigh, I am all for that. But focusing on the dysfunction and the mistakes of each player in the past will give us all tunnel vision. Course that's just my opinion.

 

[azwriter]

kiki, I want to take this one step further on your post - this word dysfunctional is being kicked around too much.
I think irresponsible is a better term when it comes to describing Ron's choice to bring Misty into his life to care for his children.
It's also irresponsible for him to father children out of wedlock. And be involved with drugs to the extent court records show.
You are so correct in pointing out there are degrees of dysfunction in families. Certainly Ron's situation ranks on the high end of the scale when it comes to dysfunction!
I on the other hand, do not have a dysfunctional family. We're just all a little bit nuts and we admit it.

 

[CrankyPants]

four children with three different mothers? I must have missed something....link, please?

 

[debs]

kiki, I want to take this one step further on your post - this word dysfunctional is being kicked around too much.
I think irresponsible is a better term when it comes to describing Ron's choice to bring Misty into his life to care for his children.
It's also irresponsible for him to father children out of wedlock. And be involved with drugs to the extent court records show.
You are so correct in pointing out there are degrees of dysfunction in families. Certainly Ron's situation ranks on the high end of the scale when it comes to dysfunction!
I on the other hand, do not have a dysfunctional family. We're just all a little bit nuts and we admit it.

IMO, I would forgo both irresponsible and dysfunctional with regard to engaging in a relationship with a 16 year old girl who is then given the "24/7" care of two wee ones, and call it criminal. But then, I see things very differently than a lot of folks.

ETA: This was a response to AZ..........but this obviously has nothing to do with TN....mybad!